10 Thirsty Texts From Real Life Fuckboys Who Tried To Slither Back Into My Life

10 Thirsty Texts From Real Life Fuckboys Who Tried To Slither Back Into My Life

If you're not interested—stop texting me, stop giving me attention and I will happily do the same by cutting you out of my life.

Elle Hong
Elle Hong
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Here's my rule of thumb when it comes to dating: If you're interested in me—prove it.

Don't just make plans with me or "promise" to come see me on some random Thursday. Make the effort to stick to that promise and get off your ass to actually come see me.

Don't just send me a plethora of Snapchats as a sign of affection for me to ooh and ahh over because honestly, that dog filter looks hideous on you.

It's plain and simple. Call me when you miss me, text me when you're thinking about me. Be direct, up front and keep the conversation going, or GTFO and stop wasting my time.

It baffles me how so many boys out there are willing to play this endless game of slightly showing interest, developing a promising relationship, then leaving you for a few days/weeks only to come slithering back into your life.

Call it "ghosting" or "orbiting"—I call it complete bullshit. Because you know what? Boys don't seem more manly or masculine for being somewhat "less clingy" as they might perceive it to be. And when they try to hit you up with a text in order win you back, they're really messing around with your feelings to break your heart all over again.

Here's a complication of 10 ACTUAL texts I personally received from real life fuckboys who tried getting back in my life by using the most cringe-worthy excuses to follow with it. And ladies, here are some ways how you can successfully clap back at them the next time this happens to you.

1. The mysterious case of the lost/broken phone

Best reply: Sent from my iPod

OK, so this is misleading because I'm mainly confused as to whether you LOST your phone or BROKE it or did both. Did you break it first? Lost it at the club only to find it broken after you found it? Please, one excuse at a time. If you lost/broke it, how did you send that text if you didn't get a new phone yet??? This requires a full-on FBI investigation

2. The sob story

Best reply: Sorry to hear that. Must've been a loonngg trip to the vet!

Shit happens, but were you really at the vet for the entire three-plus weeks that you didn't text me? I'm crying actual tears while reading this but your dog's misfortune isn't a one way EZ pass back into my life.

3. The Father Earth, Mother Nature

Best reply: Nah it's cool, I was out glacier hunting, no biggie.

Oh dear, this fuckboy needed a break from reality and decided to go on a freaking BACKPACKING trip across California and Arizona (throw in Nevada just for fun). You should try glacier hunting next time you're at it. That way, you can be gone longer than a few days and still have a great excuse, you pretend tree hugger.

4. The howdy

Best reply: Let's keep it that way :)

Nothing like waking up to a morning text like this. I've been great, actually. We haven't talked in SO LONG that I decided to delete your contact and my phone no longer recognized you. Report Junk! Report Fuckboy Alert!

5. The workaholic on lunch break

Best reply: Enjoy your lunch break and leave me alone :)

How uneventful is your lunch break that you decided to whip out your phone, scroll through your list of contacts only to send ME a text? Wow, I am truly honored. Would you like a side of I-Could-Give-Zero-Fucks with that Teriyaki Chicken plate?

6. The aggressive

Best reply: Ghost emoji

I mean, if he's leaving on some extravagant trip tomorrow you might as well do the deed and ghost him first. Also, I just love when guys decide not to reply, only to blame YOU for not texting back...? Do the logic here, something doesn't seem to match up.

7. The send some noods

Best reply: You will hear from my attorney.

This culprit just reached a new level of fuckboy-ness by going straight for the kill on the first try. Maybe a “How are you" would've led me to snap a topless pic for ya...NOT. Ask for a picture one more time and I'm dialing up my attorney for invasion of my privacy.

8. The say my name, say my name

Best reply: May I fuckin' help you???

Yes, that's my name. Yay! You spelled it right! Now, do you remember how I pronounce it? Bet you don't.

(Hint: It's not L, its [/eh-lee/])

9. The airplane mode

Best reply: Sorry I received this text notification, my b

This could go two ways: either his phone was on airplane mode and all notifications were muted OR he saw the notification and just ignored it only to follow up on it a few days later. Either way, I'm sorry you had to swallow your pride to have to text me this afterwards. To your self esteem—RIP!!!

10. The classic I miss you

Best reply: Sure, I miss you. But my aim is getting better.

Aww, my pretty face was thinking about the different ways I can take a swing at you the next time you decide to show up at my house to see me again. Sucks that you miss me, all I can say is that I wish that I felt the same!!

To conclude this article, a final message to all the fuckboys in the world: If you're not interested, stop texting me altogether, stop giving me attention and I will happily do the same by cutting you out of my life.

Elle Hong
Elle Hong

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

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If You Go Into Summer 2019 Only Wanting A Summer Fling, You're Only Going To Be Disappointed

They may be fun but sometimes come with consequences.

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We've all been through the summer flings. Summer is THE season where you have no commitment and are as free as can be with no care in the world. I've been on both ends of summer flings, from having one and cutting things off when summer ended and having one and gaining feelings for the other person... I've actually been dating my summer fling from 2017 for almost a year and a half now which was totally unexpected.

Back in Summer 2017, I was newly single and wasn't intentionally looking for a relationship since I just got out of one. I had a couple of small flings in the beginning, nothing serious at all. Until I met a boy in July from social media. We started talking and hit it off. We had a lot in common and enjoyed a lot of the same things. After a few weeks of talking, some flirting and a couple of dates... we had a fling going on. We weren't committed or anything, but we were both interested in each other. Long story short, I ended up really liking this guy and I could feel our fling diminishing, so I guess you could say I played some hard to get and "won" him over for good. It took a lot and I could definitely say it wasn't a care-free summer since I was trying to get him to make it official with me but now, here we are as boyfriend and girlfriend still to this day.

From my experiences and from friends experiences, summer flings almost always end with someone falling for you or you falling for them. And if you're really not looking for a relationship after summer, it can be quite hassle ending things for good due to feelings. Summer flings can also take time away from your family and friends. Everyone knows spending summer with someone you're interested in is fun, although it most likely won't be permanent, so why waste your time on them when you could be making those summer memories with your friends who will be there always?

A lot of the times, summer flings just involve hooking up and casual dates... nothing too serious. They don't involve "relationship" type feelings. But when you start to gain attachment to that person, sometimes they won't care like you do since summer flings are meant to be temporary. Of course, the person you have a fling with is someone you're into or at least think is good looking and when you find out you're not their only summer fling, jealousy can hit. Like stated above, summer is the season of no worries, and you shouldn't let jealousy take over your care-free attitude.

Summer flings, almost all the time, end in some sort of heartbreak when that isn't the intention in the beginning at all. But other times, they do work out and you guys call it quits and both move on or both end up in a relationship with each other (which was my case and I couldn't be happier to this day!). So, if your plan is to have a fling this upcoming summer, make sure you plan ahead for any type of scenarios that could potentially happen as well as know what you both want in the end.

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