10 Unfortunate Lessons You Learn From F*cking With F*ckboys

10 Unfortunate Lessons You Learn From F*cking With F*ckboys

I wish you were as great as you talk yourself up to be.
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F*ckboys: We can't live with 'em, but for some unexplainable reason, we can't live without 'em either.

Whether you enjoy the massive amounts of stress or countless texts that go unanswered, I understand your predicament and feel your pain. It doesn't matter if you've had the "pleasure" of knowing one f*ckboy or twenty-seven. At the end of the day, they all teach you the same things.

1. They lie, sometimes religiously.

"No, I don't talk to her anymore."
"Sorry, I never saw your text!"

Sound familiar? Lying is in their blood and they're proud. Sometimes they don't even know the difference between right and wrong because they've spent so much time hiding things. If you've been unlucky enough to meet one of these people, run. Trust me, it's not worth your time.

2. They think they're more clever than they actually are.

Girls know everything. So never doubt our ability to uncover the truth because we can find out exactly where you were last Tuesday at 9:32pm and which girl you were seeing when you were "too busy" to respond to a text.

3. They're professional ghosters.

They wouldn't be f*ckboys if they always replied to your texts in a timely manner (or at all), right? Realize when they're truly busy and when they're just ignoring you.

4. You're never the only one.

You're completely naive if you think otherwise. If there isn't already someone else, they're always on the lookout for her.

5. They're vain AF.

Name one f*ckboy that doesn't think the world of himself. That's right, you can't because they wouldn't be f*ckboys if they didn't have massive egos. Shout out to the girls out there who aren't afraid to keep these boys in check every once in awhile.

6. Friendship or "friendship," pick one.

The idea of "friends with benefits" is great, but it's not actually possible. Your relationship always leans more heavily on one side. Most likely, it's the "friendship" side with a small touch of true friendship. I mean, honestly, have you ever been in a situation where it's truly 50/50 and not awkward in public?

7. They'll make you crazy.

If you weren't already borderline crazy/obsessive/possessive, trust me, they'll make you seem over-the-top insane. They know exactly how many times to text you first before leaving you questioning your status and obsessively checking Snap Map to figure out which "friend's" house they're visiting.

8. Your friends will be annoyed by your pettiness and complaints.

Best friends deserve all the gold stars, good karma, and non-f*ckboys in the world for putting up with your constant pettiness, complaints, and what-if scenarios. No matter how many times you go through these situations with each other, they never really get easier. But at least you have each other to complain about that with, too!

9. Once a f*ckboy, always a f*ckboy.

You can't change people. They are who they are, and while there might be moments when they prove they're not completely terrible, those don't come along often. I'm not saying every f*ckboy lacks respect (for women), but be careful because some do.

10. No matter how hard you try, you will never be as heartless as they are.

It doesn't matter how often or hard you try to master the f*ckboy lifestyle--you can't and won't be able to do it because you likely have at least an ounce of human decency and respect for others. While not every f*ckboy is equally as heartless or always extremely rude, it's safe to say that you don't think he's a f*ckboy because he's always thinking about you and your needs.


But let's be real: no matter how many times you re-live these lessons, you still never learn.

Cover Image Credit: Instagram

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Look, I Don't Want Your Boy, But 'break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored' Makes Me Feel Incredible

It makes me feel empowered. It makes me feel my best.

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I have seen so many thoughts and complaints that Ariana Grande's new song, "break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored" is shallow.

Some are even saying, "this song just perpetuates everything that is wrong with dating and relationships in society today."

But, girl, I have to disagree.

You see, just because I sing this song at the top of my lungs in both my dorm's shower and alone in my car, I am not going to steal anyone's boyfriend.

I am simply pretending like I am some kind of bad chick that no one should mess with but in reality, I apologize for walking in someone's direction.

And, let's say, if I were to say something lighthearted or friendly to him and he responds with actions that propose cheating, he wasn't a good boyfriend in the first place.

Listen, girls: stop being so insecure.

You have a boyfriend. He loves you. He chose you. If another girl comes by and his eyes dart her way, his heart wasn't in it all the way.

Not everything is deeper than the skin.

Now, let me be clear, I am not saying that it's OK for girls to go around and try to steal boyfriends. Actually, that's a pretty trashy move that no one should attempt. I know it happens, though. I know it is everyone's worst fear.

However, there is no life living within fear of rejection and being left. If those are the things that linger in the back of your mind, you will never taste the freedom of living.

Truly living.

So am I a bad person, considering that 'break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored' is my anthem?

It makes me feel empowered. It makes me feel my best.

So no, just listening to Ari's new bop doesn't make me a bad person or a boyfriend stealer.

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7 Tiny Things College Dudes Do That Give Off Major Small Dick Energy

If you exhibit any of these signs, re-evaluate yourself and your choices.

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If you don't know what "small dick energy" means, let me give you the Urban Dictionary definition: "someone who shows off masculinity by being cocky, showing off, overly confident to overcompensate their 4.2 inch fully erect dick."

If you're afraid you might have this tragic disease: let me explain some of the key symptoms:

1. Adding girls you don't know on any social media platform just because you think they're hot.

I never thought friend requests could be so annoying.

2. Messaging said girls with some stupid pick-up-line to start a conversation.

What is this? Tinder?

3. Getting mad and aggressive when said girls don't message you back.

Kristyn Park

Bonus points for calling them mean names!

4. Getting even angrier when they do message back saying they're not interested.

Your insecurity isn't sexy.

5. Putting others down or not treating others with respect.

If you can't be polite to your servers or other customer service employees, you are the epitome of small dick energy.

6. Cornering girls at bars or parties and making them obviously uncomfortable.

If she doesn't seem interested in the conversation, she's not interested in you. Take a hint and walk away.

7. Any sort of forcefulness, pressure, or prejudice coming from a guy as he's talking to a girl.

BIG indicators of small dick energy and also toxic masculinity!



Now look, I know it sounds like I'm being a bitch, but let me tell you that I, and every other female on this planet regardless of race, sexuality, or anything that differentiates us, has been a victim of men with small dick energy. And it's not fucking cute anymore. In fact, it never was. If anything, it's uncomfortable, it's annoying, and it's concerning.

A girl is not a bitch, a slut, a loser, or any other name you want to throw at her if she doesn't like your advances. Calling her that is probably going to make her want to suck your (small) dick even less than before, if possible. We don't know you, and even if we did, we don't owe you anything. And if your first reaction to rejection is name-calling and blatant aggression, then you are likely a toxic person as it is who's got some deep-seated anger issues that you should probably take care of. And if you think that treating someone like that is okay and don't see anything wrong with that, then you might just be a psychopath, honestly.

Have some class and self-respect, guys, and leave the #smalldickenergy back in 2018.

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