11 Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Text Him Or Her In The Middle Of The Night

11 Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Text Him Or Her In The Middle Of The Night

Sometimes it's more than a "what do I have to lose?" mindset
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We are the most vulnerable during the night when we're alone and all is quiet. It is during these hours that we often hit our lowest points. Why? I think it's because there's more time to think. There's more time for thinking negative thoughts and missing people we shouldn't miss. It is during these hours that we often stop caring about what others think of us and stop caring about our own pride.

The day is over, so who cares? The day is almost over, so I might as well. I might as well cry and let it all out, text certain people, or wish for tomorrow to be different. Despite how bad things get at night, it seems as though everything will be completely normal by the morning. In the morning we will be surrounded by others, and many of our thoughts will be stopped by the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

But you can't pretend that the night before never happened. If you sent someone a message, you can't delete it. Yes, we are vulnerable during the night, and it's healthy to let ourselves feel, but we can't lose control during those hours.

So, here are 11 questions to ask yourself before you text him or her in the middle of the night:

1. Will I regret it tomorrow?

2. What's my motive?

3. Would I text this person if it were 2:00 in the afternoon?

4. How does this person make me feel?

5. Do the pros outweigh the cons?

6. What will we talk about?

7. Will I regret it if I DON'T reach out?

8. What are they most likely up to?

9. Would my friends support this?

10. How will I feel if this person doesn't answer?

11. What do I want to get out of the conversation?

Cover Image Credit: StockSnap

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16 Things You Say To Your Friends That Can Actually Be Slut Shaming

Females are part of the problem, too.

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Female-to-female empowerment is the current rage and it's essential in today's turbulent world, but, unfortunately, women tend to hypocritically preach love while, concurrently, having misogynistic judgments, such as slut shaming.

Slut shaming is a blame game and, although popularized by being men's fault, females are part of the problem, too. Nonetheless, many girls don't even realize they're doing it since it has become so mainstream and since "our culture still views female sexuality as threatening." Disgracing women for their personal choices, sexual or not, is not anyone's business! We are all free to live our lives happily in our own way following our own morals. If you feel strong covering your shoulders, rock it! If you're satisfied having casual sex, do your thing, girl! If you love to let go and party, save me a dance!

Shocker! Different people feel confident doing DIFFERENT things!

Instead of living such a negative life as you degrade other women, why not live a life full of respect? Seeing that everyone has their own definition of what a "slut" is, slut shaming has become far more than just calling a woman out for behaving, looking, or seeming-to-be skimpy. Many women are called a whore for doing almost anything. (In the 7th grade, my gym teacher called me out for being promiscuous because I hit puberty and got boobs! I know it's hilarious, and I wish I could laugh but, in reality, a grown woman shamed me, a young girl, because I was becoming a woman.)

As long as this stereotypical "slut" you speak of isn't harming anyone, they don't deserve to be bashed.

I can't stop people from gossiping, but I can try to bring awareness to the mitigate the issue.

1. Did you see what she was wearing?

So what if she's wearing booty shorts? Or a low-cut top? Or stilettos? It doesn't mean she's "asking for it," it means that she feels confident in her body and wants to rock it! Everyone has the freedom to express herself, love, and feel good about what they are wearing without wishing to be sexually objectified—nothing slutty about that.

2. Don't have sex on the first date

Maybe you just don't want your friend to get hurt, but she can make her own decisions. There isn't anything wrong with having sex on the first date, if two people feel a burning fire that first time they meet, good for them! No woman has to hold herself from a man to seem more valuable, that's plain old sexism and we don't have time for that.

3. Wait for him to text you! You can't make the first move!

Build each other up instead of breaking one another down! We are strong, independent women that can be the first to reach out to a guy without being classified as too pushy.

4. She needs to close her legs!

Be ladylike! Only men can man-spread! Please, a woman's body is her body to manage, not yours!

5. Have fun, but don't be a slut

"When women slut shame, it's for different reasons. Where does it stem from? Probably jealousy or their own lack of self-esteem"—Ashley Laderer

6. She has way TOO much makeup on

Girl, listen to me, never be ashamed of the art you have painted on your face. I wish I could have that talent.

7. What was she thinking?

It's not your place to judge another individual's life choices. Focus on yourself rather than everyone else around you because they are living their lives while you're stuck criticizing them.

8. She only hangs out with guys

She has friends that are males, period. Sometimes guys are just a lot less judgmental than girls are.

9. You don't seem slutty

There is no box that one can fit into to fulfill the requirements of being slutty. Women are debased for a plethora of unjust reasons, so clearly most women "don't seem slutty" because they're just people, after all!

10. It's all for attention

Being comfortable with oneself is not asking for negative attention rather it's about happiness and strength. Stop putting down confident girls becuase you don't feel self-assured doing similar things that another does. You do you and let her do the same!

11. How many guys has she gotten with?

The classical sexual double standard.

12. Is she flirting with my man? What a whore

Makes sense. You talk to someone's boyfriend and even though you never flirted or disrespected any boundaries, oops! You're now a promiscuous, degraded human being.

13. She shouldn't have sent that nude

Um, why not? Sending nudes isn't disgraceful. People are allowed to explore their sexuality and enjoy it with others. It is private and no one should be sharing these images with the world—that's not honorable.

14. She wouldn't stop drinking

Ties in with our rape culture, but women, like their male counterparts, are allowed to have a few drinks and enjoy a party without worrying about being taken advantage of.

15. She must be really insecure

No, she doesn't have low self-esteem because she has casual sex. Generally speaking, she has multiple lovers (who are respected and aware of the circumstances) because she wants to experience new things and learn about what she wants in a partner.

16. Did you hear what she was talking about?

It's as if the words, "vagina," "penis," "sex," "scrotum," "dildo" bite! Calm down, there's no real reason for sex to be taboo. If we are all open-minded, our entire society will benefit.

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