I Asked 11 People To Tell Me Their Worst Date Experiences, And These Are Their Stories

I Asked 11 People To Tell Me Their Worst Date Experiences, And These Are Their Stories

Vulgarity, awkwardness, and embarrassment ahead. Read with caution.

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Let's face it, my fellow millennials... dating is fucking hard. There are creeps, assholes, cheapskates, gold diggers, and there are people just looking to get into your pants and leave. It's a wild world out there in the dating pool, and I've asked 11 people to share with me their worst ever dates. Here's what they had to say...

1. Magen, 28

"I went to see a movie with this guy I was lukewarm about. He was excited about the movie and told me it looked really good. Turns out it's a horror film where the protagonists are all being murdered by a young woman/poltergeist that appears in photos before killing them. Then it turns out that everyone that died gang-raped and murdered the young woman. Then after the movie, he asked me to get in the back seat: No. Then he tried to make out with me: No. When I said I wanted to go home he drove in silence for the whole 20 minutes. A week later he messaged me that if I converted to Islam we could get married. So, basically, he was a psycho."

2. Emma, 20

"I once went over a guy's house for a second date with him. The first was two days before, and it was a blind date, so I didn't really know him well. When I got to his house, we went up to his room to watch 'Up.' His room was filthy. He had dirty socks, underwear, and clothes everywhere. His bed was unmade, too. I sat up and leaned against his headboard as he sat about a foot away from me, awkwardly leaning back on his elbows. After the movie was over, I made up an excuse to leave, saying I had to clean my house for my mom. He walked me to my car and kissed me out of nowhere. He then proceeded to ask me to officially be his girlfriend. I told him that we should go on more dates and see where it goes from there. I drove back to my house and when I got home, I texted him and told him I didn't see it going anywhere."

3. Emily, 25

"A guy asked me to lick his asshole in the middle of dinner."

4. Michael, 25

"I was walking up to a restaurant and just happened to walk past my date when she was snorting Xanax in her car. I turned right around and drove to Wendy's and got a Baconator."

5. Lily, 22

"On my first date with a guy, I drove him to Sonic. He flirted with the waitress and I had to pay for both of our meals because he was 'trying to be more careful with his money.'"

6. Anonymous, 23

"I met a man online to be my new sugar daddy. We only talked for a day and he wanted to meet at the mall. So the morning of I texted him where exactly and he told me to meet at a bar/restaurant. I show up in a t-shirt and white/gray floral workout leggings. We're making awkward small talk. He's telling me about the girls he tried to see before how they all ghosted him and he didn't know why. He was a very attractive man in a rich industry so I was excited to be pretty high on his list. Twenty-five mins into it, I have to use the bathroom. I was feeling crampy all day and knew my period was coming. I excuse myself to the bathroom and walk away. As soon as I get into the restroom, I look in the mirror and see a HUGE bloody stain on my ass. I'm EMBARRASSED. I try to dab as much blood out as possible and shove toilet paper in my underwear to use as a pad. I cover my butt with my sweatshirt and walk back to my seat. Luckily the seat was black so it didn't show but I could see a damp spot. He didn't notice I don't think but I needed to change so I suggested we walk around the mall. I tell him I'm gonna run to my car for something then meet back up with him. I found some black leggings in my trunk and change. I met up with him again and he noticed the change but didn't say anything. After we walked around we went back to his car and he gave me $100. He said he wanted to see me again a few days later. The day came to hang out and HE ghosted me."

7. Marilyn, 23

"A boy I met off Tinder took me to a generic, less nice, knock-off of Olive Garden, bought me dinner and then went and watched a movie with his parents. Leans over to me, whispers 'You should take my virginity because I bought you dinner.' His parents asked what he said because I made a weird face and then left."

8. Bree, 26

"I went to see a movie (the first 'Fantastic Beasts') and the guy spent the entire movie talking about how 'his woman' shouldn't work and how he wanted someone to service him. Not the previews. The actual movie itself. No second date, although he texted me every day for a month after."

9. Mia, 20

"I was 15 and I met this guy and we went to a play and then to get dessert. Since neither of us could drive my parents dropped him off at his house after dessert and he kissed me on the forehead and said I love you as he left the car IN FRONT OF MY PARENTS. I had met him like once before."

10. Annie, 21

"We went to see 'Mission Impossible: Fall Out.' He didn't like it, so we left 20 minutes into the movie. We went to go get food (Bonbon Sushi), he made fun of my order, spent the entire date making weird jokes that were definitely not 'first date' type jokes (ex. 'I can tell you're gonna be a handful, figuratively and literally'), told me I was too nice (in a bad way), and that he was mean. I said I don't really like mean, even if it's just joking. He drove me home, asked me to RATE THE DATE (WTF). I said, 'I don't know, I don't really want to do that.' He said, 'Well, I'm asking you to be honest.' I said, 'okay...well...I guess a seven then.' I was being generous. He said, 'Seven?! What could I have done better?' I said, 'Honestly, primarily just being nicer. It's a first date, don't you want to put your best foot forward?' He laughed in my face, said, 'Well, this isn't going to work out then,' and DROVE AWAY! I thought, 'well, at least he knows it wasn't a good date.' Two days later, he texts me asking for a second date..."

11. Ash, 21

"We were friends and then started dating. The relationship was really short-lived and ended up being pretty crappy, but he talked for like a week about wanting to take me out for burgers at a nearby diner and then 'forgot' his card at home. I ended up paying, and he promised he would pay for the next date. Then ghosted me for a week, and when I confronted him about it, he ended up dumping me in front of my dorm building."

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

5 Questions To Ask Yourself When You're On The Fence With A Guy

Is he worth it?

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Whether you're contemplating if you want to continue your fling with a guy or contemplating breaking up with your boyfriend, there are always questions we're asking ourselves. Ranging from "is this right of me?" to "is this what will make me happy?" But if you are really sitting on the fence and don't know what to do next, check out these five questions you need to ask yourself if you're torn on what to do.

1. Do I want long term or short term?

This is a huge question to ask. If you're looking to settle down for a while, your guy may not want that. And it could always be the other way around as well. Make sure to decipher this with him so you both know what you want and no one gets a broken heart.

2. Can I see myself marrying this person?

I know this is a bold question to ask, especially if you're not dating. But really thinking about if you can see yourself with them for a long time can make it or break it. But say you're dating and you're on the fence of deciding you want to break up with them or not, think about if you can see yourself saying "I do" to them, and if you can't, let him go.

3. Can I see myself living with them/how do they live?

I've seen many people get engaged and move in together and later call it quits due to the way their partner lived. If you've been getting to know your guy for a while now and notices he lives like a pig, you may have to wonder if you'd be cleaning up those messes in the future.

4. How do they make me feel?

This question in a no brainer. If they make you feel bad, why even question continuing into the relationship.

5. Are they worth it?

Is he worth it? I know I have had some experiences when I was on the fence with a couple of guys and I've had to ask myself the same question. And when I'd question if he was worth it or not, my gut feeling always came out right. If you're looking to keep him around, always ask yourself if he's worth it.

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Girls, You NEED To Understand That Fuckboy Texting You ‘wyd’ 24/7 Will Never Give You A 24 Karat Ring

I finally managed to crack the code as to why your casual hookup will never try to make you his wife.

Elle Hong
Elle Hong
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There are five unofficial steps of hookup culture: Find a guy. Get to know him a little bit, but not too much (because you have to keep "boundaries," remember?) Make a pact to keep things "casual" and promise to still be "friends" with each other. Then, hookup with him. And keep hooking up with him without any emotional attachment — just over and over again and never expect anything more.

From a birds eye view, hookup culture seems so harmless. I mean, what's more convenient than having a booty call at your doorstep with the swipe of a screen? When you want to hook up, all you have to do is shoot that 2 a.m. "U Up?" text.

Hell, I even wrote a whole article about the perfect FWB situation.

Yet suddenly—here I am, Elle Hong, resident "Uncuffed" writer on Swoon and self proclaimed fuckgirl who glorifies hookup culture above anything else, catching feelings and falling for the wrong guys just like any other girl out in the world.

Consider this blasphemy. Or maybe I'm just dying to make a confession.

A confession that I, too, have experienced the feeling of wondering why I was never enough for the guys I hooked up with. Why they never chose me over the girls they would eventually form serious relationships with and why to them I only was nothing more than a casual hookup.

So, I thought about it. I critically analyzed it. I "Aristotle-d" my way into trying to find an answer behind the impossible question of wondering why I was never considered to be anything more. Over the past few weeks, it essentially became my new research topic and now, I finally managed to crack the code as to why your casual hookup will never try to make you into wifey material. Here's why.

First and foremost: Guys usually (but not always) choose to hookup with girls who they don't see as anything more.

Now, keep in mind I'm not saying that guys will NEVER fall in love with the girls they hookup with because it can happen. It's life. Life is unpredictable. No doubt, people have fallen in love on Tinder and married a random match who just happened to become The One. But we all know what Tinder is really for. Generally speaking, guys will seek random hookups with the types of girls they think are "easy" and if they're desperate enough, it's definitely not going to be someone they view as their future wife.

If he thinks you're cute, you're within 10 miles radius and you can hold a conversation, it doesn't matter what your annual salary is or how many siblings you got—he wants one thing and it's to get you in bed. And until a guys find this girl who captures his heart and inevitably makes him want to settle, he's going to go around hooking up with random girls left and right. So in this case, it's not your fault. You're just with the wrong type of guy who only thinks of you as his sexual conquest.

See also: Guys want to settle with girls that don't go around hooking up with other people.

Ironic as hell because I just talked about why guys would never want to settle, period. But think about it—guys are humans with rational thoughts and animalistic desires. When they find their territory, they mark it. Once he finds a girl who is the one, he never wants to let her go. And he never wants to see that girl be with another guy or god forbid, go around hooking up with other guys. So here's the moral of the story to get my point across: I hate to break it to you, but bragging about how many other guys you're f*cking outside of your current FWB situationship isn't going to help develop the relationship any further.

Finally: A girl's "hoe phase" might seem empowering but for guys they see it as a threat.

Thanks to the wonderful millennial encyclopedia that we call Urban Dictionary, we have a definition behind this certain life style: A phase in life which occurs when a girl goes around social settings exploring herself, committing promiscuous acts and connecting with random people. For girls, it seems pretty damn empowering, doesn't it? For us it's a chance to let loose, to live a lil bit more and to run around as independent women. Nothing wrong with that of course.

But for guys to perceive this type of lifestyle, they see it as a threat which could arise if they form a relationship with you. It's simple logic here. A girl who's in her "hoe phase" is more likely to be unfaithful since they're always out and about with this person and that person. Put it this way: a guy doesn't care if you're a hoe—but he only wants you to be HIS hoe and not everyone else's. So you might think that it's a great way to express yourself and to enjoy your college years, but keep in mind that it could possibly be holding you back from taking the next step with your casual FWB.

Elle Hong
Elle Hong

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