12 Lessons You Learn When You're With The Right Person For At Least A Year
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About a year and a half ago, I laid my eyes on one of the most attractive guys I have ever seen in my life. I needed to get to know him, so I went in and added him on Snapchat and made the first move by talking to him first. Long story short, I ended up liking him and he ended up liking me, so we became boyfriend and girlfriend... and now, we've been dating for a whole 3,153,600 seconds!

Every relationship comes with its ups and downs but somehow, my boyfriend and I made it through those and became stronger as a couple. I have learned so much; I was in a mentally abusive relationship before I met my current boyfriend. Luckily enough, he taught me to love myself and love someone else romantically again. I really can't thank him enough for some things, but I really have taken a new perspective on love. Here are some lessons I learned throughout this year of being together.

1. Love yourself first

In order to love somebody else, you need to love yourself first. I was in a rut for quite some time where I didn't really care for myself anymore. If I didn't have love for myself, how could I give love to someone else? Once I gained it back, I finally felt like I could love another human being again, which I did.

2. Try things your partner likes, even if you think you'll hate it

My boyfriend is a HUGE movie geek. I've never met anyone else who loves movies as much as him. I never really watched movies a lot until I met him and one of his favorite series is the Marvel movies. I never thought I'd be into those movies just because they're not my type, until I finally gave in and watched some with him. Turns out I was wrong and now the series is one of my favorites too.

3. Insecurity can ruin everything

Being insecure sucks. I'm sure anyone else who has insecurities would agree. You have to have your partner reassure you that they still like you (even though they're dating you). Over time, it can hurt you and your partner, but with time as well, it gets better.

4. You don't need to be talking 24/7

My boyfriend is a pre-dental/bio major, is in track and is always the library studying or participating in SI. He's a very busy boy. Sometimes he's so busy that he doesn't text me back for hours on end. I work three jobs too. Sometimes we just can't get to the phone.

5. Long distance sucks... even though it's not really long distance

Back home, my boyfriend and I live about 20 minutes away from each other. When we're both at college, we're an hour away from each other. It's really not long distance since it's only an hour away, but when I'm feeling down or need help with something, I can't just drive over for the day.

6. Be their biggest supporter

Being supportive is one the biggest things to do in a relationship. If my boyfriend has a bad day with track or didn't do as good as he thought he did on an exam, I'm there. He does the same thing for me.

7. Love changes over time

Obviously when you're together for a long time, things will die down. A year ago last year, my BF and I were sending such lovey dovey messages and making sure that the flirting was still going strong. Now, I'm lucky if I even get a thorough goodnight text, and that's okay because things will change over time.

8. Surprises

They don't have to be everyday or every week. It's just a little gesture to know that everything is still going good. One time I bought my boyfriend a movie and planned a night in. Sometimes he'll randomly take me out to eat at a nice restaurant. It's things like that that go a long ways.

9. Everyone shows their love in different ways

My boyfriend is not the type of guy to go out and buy me flowers or chocolates. He's the type of guy that will make fun of me and then cuddle me five minutes later... and that's how he shows his love for me. That's what makes him, him. And I love it (even though sometimes we make fun of each other like brother and sister).

10. Relationships in college are hard

I'll be honest, dating while in college really takes a toll on you. I'm either working, doing homework, or running errands. My boyfriend is either at practice, doing homework, working out or in the library. Sometimes it gets frustrating because you can't talk to them as much, especially if you go to different schools.

11. Try to show appreciation every day

The smallest bit of appreciation can make or break a day. We always make sure to show that we appreciate each other in some type of way almost every day. It really can make my day ten times better when I know I'm appreciated.

12. Your partner will become your best friend

This is the best thing that can happen in a relationship in my opinion. My boyfriend really is my best friend. I know I can trust him with anything I tell him, I can always go to him about a problem and I know I can always count on him to have my back.

Thank you for making these past 12 months unforgettable. Here's to many more, happy 1 year anniversary, Adam. I love you more than anything!

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

An Open Letter To The Girl In A Toxic Relationship Who Doesn't See The Signs To Let Go

"it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing" -R.H Sin

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Dear you,

I hope you're doing well. I once thought I was too. I once thought that if he would just change, for me, everything would work. However, my sweet girl, you should not have to change people, you should not have to push people to be better, for you. You cannot help anyone, that does not want to help themselves.

In the movies, we learn to love a bad boy that needs changing. However, it isn't always your job to be boys saving grace. However, his shaming and emotional abuse is not just something you should put up with so that you can love him. That is not loving.

Love is not a constant competition of who could belittle the other one first. Love is not asking for a hug and being told no. Love does not make you feel stupid for bringing up things that hurt your feelings.

Love does not grow angry because you talk to your mom about your feelings. Love does not body shame. Love does not constantly change the passcode to their phone.

Love does not laugh when you find out they're unfaithful. Love does not tell you that you are not smart enough to accomplish anything. Love does not force their hand up your thigh when the words "no" slip out of your mouth.

Love is the warmth of a hand on your cheek when you get anxious. Love is getting your backpack out the car for you. Love is turning around when you need them. Love compromises.

Love is encouraging. Love is proud. Love is forgiving. Love sees you for who you are. Love knows you are worthy.

God is your Father and you are His daughter, so do not believe for one second that this abuse is the love you think you deserve.

Love will not always be easy. Love will be challenging and a constant prayer to not anger so quickly.

However, do not mix up challenging with the abuse. If you are losing the good pieces of yourself, then it isn't love. I know that you put a lot of time and effort into this relationship, but it is no good, you are holding on to someone whose heart is not in the right place to love you.

I connected with a poem from R. H. Sin, once I left my toxic relationship which reads, "it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing."

Darling girl, you are so loved by so many people, do not let this relationship hold you back or make you feel less worthy than you are. I have always been the girl with her nose stuck up in the air smelling for smoke, to follow the trail to a burning house to find a boy that needed saving, but it is more than likely a boy that lit the fire in the first place and needs changing.

So, do not be me, be better. Be the girl that lights her own world on fire, for her work, for her family, for God. You are you and you are amazing, so do not fear being without him.

You will feel as if you have come up for air after drowning in an ocean that you had no idea you were swimming in.

The emotional abuse that this boy has put you through and maybe even physical abuse will leave you building walls around your heart. It will make other relationships hard, but you are so so strong.

You will meet someone that makes you so happy and feel so easy to love, you will never understand how you stuck around with the one that hurt you for so long.

You deserve to grow from this, and I promise you will.

Let go.

xoxo,

The girl who learned from a toxic relationship

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Being Far Away From My Boyfriend Actually Strengthened Our Relationship Instead Of Forcing It Apart

While we were apart, we became closer.

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Before I really start this article, I just want to say that my relationship isn't truly a long distance relationship. We are both college students at the same university eight months out of the year, but the other four months we live quite a distance apart. Even during those four months, we are only about 150 miles from each other as the bird flies, but really about three hours from each other.

Being in a relationship where I'm not able to see my boyfriend every day or even every week has been a real challenge. But it's been a good challenge. It hasn't been a challenge because I've felt unfaithful or fallen out of love with him in any way. It's challenging because I miss him. We both work jobs and our schedules aren't the same and oftentimes we aren't able to talk to each other unless it's early in the morning or late at night. There are times when all I want to do is talk to him and tell him about how my day went and get a big bear hug from him. Unfortunately, I'm not really able to do this.

I firmly believe that being apart from each other for days, weeks, or even months have brought us closer than we could've ever imagined. We knew that this would be difficult, and we knew that there would be bad days, but we decided to power through it. It has made each time that we are able to see each other so much more special and meaningful.

Seeing each other has become more of spending time with each other than just laying around on the couch playing around on our phones. It's become really getting to know each other better and catching up on all the things we had missed. It's become a time for us to simply be in each other's presence and enjoy being able to talk face to face without a phone in the middle of us. We go on more adventurous dates, we take more pictures, and I think we would both easily say that we fall more and more in love with each other after each opportunity we have to spend time together.

Spending time together is no longer a daily activity, but it has become a right to be earned through hard work and several paychecks as travel can become expensive. We no longer take opportunities to see each other for granted, and it has made us grow closer because we aren't able to spend time together often. We look forward to the days when we won't have to worry about being apart but know that this is only a stepping stone in our relationship.

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