12 Ways To Fully Embrace Dating In 2018

12 Ways To Fully Embrace Dating In 2018

Out with the old and in with the new! A new year, new possibilities!

Do you ever have one of those, “I don't know what the hell I'm doing with my life and why I'm still single" moments? Singleness seems to be the anthem of your life as you stare at all those pictures of your exes in their blissful new relationships that seem to possess whatever you didn't.

It kind of takes over and you can't decide between being angry or crying, so you settle for both…along with a tasty wine habit.

Surviving another year of dating seems pretty bleak at this point, but perhaps you need new rules.

Here are some new rules to help you embrace dating this year!

1. Stop social media stalking your exes

Nothing good ever comes from learning about your old partner's life. It pulls you in the wrong direction and keeps you thinking about old stuff. Do not let yourself go down that rabbit hole.

2. It's OK to not be exclusive

How on Earth do you know what you want if you don't go on dates and talk to people? Maybe you want to go on a date on Friday, but someone else asks you to go on Tuesday.It's not wrong to want to explore. The more dates you have, the more likely you are to narrow down exactly what you want from someone. And let's face it, going on dates is fun! Why limit yourself? It's like shopping around for the right car. Do you ever just want to test drive a few before you settle in on one?

3. Online dating can be worth trying

It is hard to meet people sometimes, and online dating can match you up with people you actually have something in common with. Get rid of that old stigma in your head about it. There are so many people out there with the potential to be your soulmate that you may never run across in your daily life. Give it a shot! You may really find someone perfect for you!

4. Never feel bad for saying no

Someone offers you a cheeseburger, but you're not hungry, do you eat it anyway? If you don't want to go out with someone or you want to stop dating someone, tell them. Don't worry about their feelings and feel guilty. Be honest about what you want. You can let them down gently and be true to your own needs at the same time.

5. Stop talking to your exes

Some might innocently pop up and want to know how you're doing or maybe you even maintained a friendship along the way. No matter what, cutting ties is the healthiest way to let go and move on. The more you entertain those conversations and respond, the more you drag yourself backward. Don't do that to your heart. Miss them. Be sad. But don't text back.

6. If you like them, tell them

What is it about the need to be elusive? What does that do for you? Don't waste time. Put it out there. If they reject you, move on. Be brave. You'll make it. I promise.

7. Take more pictures

It's always kind of awkward to try and take a photo with someone you just met or even a relationship that's been going on for a month or so. Nevertheless, you'll for sure be thankful later that you documented those first dates. It doesn't mean you have to share it on social media, but it's definitely nice to have! Don't overthink it or let yourself feel insecure. Embrace the moment and say cheese!

8. Stop fearing being tagged on social media by your SO

Sometimes people shy away from having relationships on Facebook in fear of breaking up some day. While it's good to have boundaries, it's also OK to enjoy your life and show people what you're up to. So what if you break up down the road? If the relationship means something to you at the time, it will always have meaning to your life. Why hide it?

9. Don't chase people

If someone leaves you, let them leave. Do not ever ask for second chances or ask people to stay with you. The ones worth staying are not the ones you will ever need to ask. Let them go so the right one can come along.

10. Don't force yourself to move on before you're ready

Sometimes you might feel like pushing yourself into a new relationship will get you over the last one, and while that might work at times, it can also hurt the new person. Make sure you give your heart the space it needs before trying to start again. Let it mend, then get back up again.

11. Find your confidence

The only way to handle a new relationship or to start dating again is to truly understand your worth and what you have to offer. Pay attention to your inner beauty as well as the rockstar appearance you have. Be proud of who you are. Other people liked you, and the new ones will too. At the end of the day, just be you.

12. Being single is ALWAYS OK!

While it's good to get back out there and try to find love, it's always perfectly OK to let yourself be single. Go out with your friends, relish in it. Enjoy the time to yourself! There is absolutely no timeline for marriage, nor do you even HAVE to get married. Just be comfortable with who you are and let the rest follow. Being single is fun. Don't let anyone ruin it for you!

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

5 Questions To Ask Yourself When You're On The Fence With A Guy

Is he worth it?


Whether you're contemplating if you want to continue your fling with a guy or contemplating breaking up with your boyfriend, there are always questions we're asking ourselves. Ranging from "is this right of me?" to "is this what will make me happy?" But if you are really sitting on the fence and don't know what to do next, check out these five questions you need to ask yourself if you're torn on what to do.

1. Do I want long term or short term?

This is a huge question to ask. If you're looking to settle down for a while, your guy may not want that. And it could always be the other way around as well. Make sure to decipher this with him so you both know what you want and no one gets a broken heart.

2. Can I see myself marrying this person?

I know this is a bold question to ask, especially if you're not dating. But really thinking about if you can see yourself with them for a long time can make it or break it. But say you're dating and you're on the fence of deciding you want to break up with them or not, think about if you can see yourself saying "I do" to them, and if you can't, let him go.

3. Can I see myself living with them/how do they live?

I've seen many people get engaged and move in together and later call it quits due to the way their partner lived. If you've been getting to know your guy for a while now and notices he lives like a pig, you may have to wonder if you'd be cleaning up those messes in the future.

4. How do they make me feel?

This question in a no brainer. If they make you feel bad, why even question continuing into the relationship.

5. Are they worth it?

Is he worth it? I know I have had some experiences when I was on the fence with a couple of guys and I've had to ask myself the same question. And when I'd question if he was worth it or not, my gut feeling always came out right. If you're looking to keep him around, always ask yourself if he's worth it.

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Girls, You NEED To Understand That Fuckboy Texting You ‘wyd’ 24/7 Will Never Give You A 24 Karat Ring

I finally managed to crack the code as to why your casual hookup will never try to make you his wife.

Elle Hong
Elle Hong

There are five unofficial steps of hookup culture: Find a guy. Get to know him a little bit, but not too much (because you have to keep "boundaries," remember?) Make a pact to keep things "casual" and promise to still be "friends" with each other. Then, hookup with him. And keep hooking up with him without any emotional attachment — just over and over again and never expect anything more.

From a birds eye view, hookup culture seems so harmless. I mean, what's more convenient than having a booty call at your doorstep with the swipe of a screen? When you want to hook up, all you have to do is shoot that 2 a.m. "U Up?" text.

Hell, I even wrote a whole article about the perfect FWB situation.

Yet suddenly—here I am, Elle Hong, resident "Uncuffed" writer on Swoon and self proclaimed fuckgirl who glorifies hookup culture above anything else, catching feelings and falling for the wrong guys just like any other girl out in the world.

Consider this blasphemy. Or maybe I'm just dying to make a confession.

A confession that I, too, have experienced the feeling of wondering why I was never enough for the guys I hooked up with. Why they never chose me over the girls they would eventually form serious relationships with and why to them I only was nothing more than a casual hookup.

So, I thought about it. I critically analyzed it. I "Aristotle-d" my way into trying to find an answer behind the impossible question of wondering why I was never considered to be anything more. Over the past few weeks, it essentially became my new research topic and now, I finally managed to crack the code as to why your casual hookup will never try to make you into wifey material. Here's why.

First and foremost: Guys usually (but not always) choose to hookup with girls who they don't see as anything more.

Now, keep in mind I'm not saying that guys will NEVER fall in love with the girls they hookup with because it can happen. It's life. Life is unpredictable. No doubt, people have fallen in love on Tinder and married a random match who just happened to become The One. But we all know what Tinder is really for. Generally speaking, guys will seek random hookups with the types of girls they think are "easy" and if they're desperate enough, it's definitely not going to be someone they view as their future wife.

If he thinks you're cute, you're within 10 miles radius and you can hold a conversation, it doesn't matter what your annual salary is or how many siblings you got—he wants one thing and it's to get you in bed. And until a guys find this girl who captures his heart and inevitably makes him want to settle, he's going to go around hooking up with random girls left and right. So in this case, it's not your fault. You're just with the wrong type of guy who only thinks of you as his sexual conquest.

See also: Guys want to settle with girls that don't go around hooking up with other people.

Ironic as hell because I just talked about why guys would never want to settle, period. But think about it—guys are humans with rational thoughts and animalistic desires. When they find their territory, they mark it. Once he finds a girl who is the one, he never wants to let her go. And he never wants to see that girl be with another guy or god forbid, go around hooking up with other guys. So here's the moral of the story to get my point across: I hate to break it to you, but bragging about how many other guys you're f*cking outside of your current FWB situationship isn't going to help develop the relationship any further.

Finally: A girl's "hoe phase" might seem empowering but for guys they see it as a threat.

Thanks to the wonderful millennial encyclopedia that we call Urban Dictionary, we have a definition behind this certain life style: A phase in life which occurs when a girl goes around social settings exploring herself, committing promiscuous acts and connecting with random people. For girls, it seems pretty damn empowering, doesn't it? For us it's a chance to let loose, to live a lil bit more and to run around as independent women. Nothing wrong with that of course.

But for guys to perceive this type of lifestyle, they see it as a threat which could arise if they form a relationship with you. It's simple logic here. A girl who's in her "hoe phase" is more likely to be unfaithful since they're always out and about with this person and that person. Put it this way: a guy doesn't care if you're a hoe—but he only wants you to be HIS hoe and not everyone else's. So you might think that it's a great way to express yourself and to enjoy your college years, but keep in mind that it could possibly be holding you back from taking the next step with your casual FWB.

Elle Hong
Elle Hong

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