Do you ever have one of those, “I don't know what the hell I'm doing with my life and why I'm still single" moments? Singleness seems to be the anthem of your life as you stare at all those pictures of your exes in their blissful new relationships that seem to possess whatever you didn't.
It kind of takes over and you can't decide between being angry or crying, so you settle for both…along with a tasty wine habit.
Surviving another year of dating seems pretty bleak at this point, but perhaps you need new rules.
Here are some new rules to help you embrace dating this year!
1. Stop social media stalking your exes
Nothing good ever comes from learning about your old partner's life. It pulls you in the wrong direction and keeps you thinking about old stuff. Do not let yourself go down that rabbit hole.
2. It's OK to not be exclusiveHow on Earth do you know what you want if you don't go on dates and talk to people? Maybe you want to go on a date on Friday, but someone else asks you to go on Tuesday.It's not wrong to want to explore. The more dates you have, the more likely you are to narrow down exactly what you want from someone. And let's face it, going on dates is fun! Why limit yourself? It's like shopping around for the right car. Do you ever just want to test drive a few before you settle in on one?
3. Online dating can be worth trying
4. Never feel bad for saying no
Someone offers you a cheeseburger, but you're not hungry, do you eat it anyway? If you don't want to go out with someone or you want to stop dating someone, tell them. Don't worry about their feelings and feel guilty. Be honest about what you want. You can let them down gently and be true to your own needs at the same time.
5. Stop talking to your exes
Some might innocently pop up and want to know how you're doing or maybe you even maintained a friendship along the way. No matter what, cutting ties is the healthiest way to let go and move on. The more you entertain those conversations and respond, the more you drag yourself backward. Don't do that to your heart. Miss them. Be sad. But don't text back.
6. If you like them, tell them
What is it about the need to be elusive? What does that do for you? Don't waste time. Put it out there. If they reject you, move on. Be brave. You'll make it. I promise.
It's always kind of awkward to try and take a photo with someone you just met or even a relationship that's been going on for a month or so. Nevertheless, you'll for sure be thankful later that you documented those first dates. It doesn't mean you have to share it on social media, but it's definitely nice to have! Don't overthink it or let yourself feel insecure. Embrace the moment and say cheese!
8. Stop fearing being tagged on social media by your SO
Sometimes people shy away from having relationships on Facebook in fear of breaking up some day. While it's good to have boundaries, it's also OK to enjoy your life and show people what you're up to. So what if you break up down the road? If the relationship means something to you at the time, it will always have meaning to your life. Why hide it?
9. Don't chase people
If someone leaves you, let them leave. Do not ever ask for second chances or ask people to stay with you. The ones worth staying are not the ones you will ever need to ask. Let them go so the right one can come along.
10. Don't force yourself to move on before you're readySometimes you might feel like pushing yourself into a new relationship will get you over the last one, and while that might work at times, it can also hurt the new person. Make sure you give your heart the space it needs before trying to start again. Let it mend, then get back up again.
11. Find your confidence
12. Being single is ALWAYS OK!
While it's good to get back out there and try to find love, it's always perfectly OK to let yourself be single. Go out with your friends, relish in it. Enjoy the time to yourself! There is absolutely no timeline for marriage, nor do you even HAVE to get married. Just be comfortable with who you are and let the rest follow. Being single is fun. Don't let anyone ruin it for you!