Missing someone is always hard, whether it's a goodbye or a see you later, or whether it's a friend or a boyfriend or a parent. Along with missing someone always comes feelings of loneliness and inadequacy, a sort of longing that doesn't seem like it can ever be satisfied. There's a certain gripping sadness to missing someone, sometimes a literal tug on your heartstrings that makes it hard to think about anything besides that person.
But the most important part of missing someone is loving yourself. Whether it's that friend that's going away to college thousands of miles away from you, your parent that you're going to miss when you leave, or even just your significant other being on vacation, use the time away from them to focus on you.
Here are 12 ways to help you cope with missing that certain someone this summer. And don't worry, you're really not alone.
1. Allow yourself some time to be sad—but only some time.
As easy as it sounds to just "move on" and "get over it," unfortunately, it's usually not that easy. When you miss someone, it's completely normal to feel sad, and it's okay to feel sad! But it's not okay to stay sad. So pop in your favorite tearjerker flick or listen to your favorite sad song for the first night, but after that, no more.
2. Rediscover things you used to love.
Life usually gets in the way of us doing the things that we love, whether it's painting or learning a language or online shopping. So when you start missing that certain someone, use the time you could be spending missing them, and start back up on that thing you used to love but lost time for! The time is back-- use it!
3. Watch your favorite movie.
This may sound elementary, but it really can go a long way. At an average, it's two hours of distraction from missing someone while also legitimately entertaining you. Win-win!
4. Go out with your other friends.
Go on a coffee date with your best friend who's still in town. Go to the movies with another! Honestly, after you're done wallowing in self-pity, jam pack your schedule so that every night you are out and about doing things with different people. It gets rid of a lot of loneliness for at least a few hours, and to be honest, you just feel less pathetic in general.
Alright, hear me out on this one. Yes, exercise sucks sometimes and yes, jogging can make you feel like you're having a heart attack, but under the umbrella of self-love, exercise is #1. It gets your endorphins going, so it makes you happy, and it makes you hot at the same time!
6. Read and write.
After you watch your favorite movie, reread your favorite book! Or pick up one of the seemingly thousands of new books that are sitting on your bookshelf, waiting to be read. Let yourself climb into a world that's not your own and meet characters who aren't real people—a little escape from reality can only do you good. And in the same vein, write a little bit! Even if you don't think you're much of a writer, sometimes getting your thoughts down on paper can really clear your head!
7. Invite people over.
Inviting people over may seem like the same thing as going out, but actually allows you to distract yourself more. Inviting friends to your house makes you a host, and as a host, most people feel the need to tidy up, to cook, to get dressed and look nice. Sometimes it can be a call for some self-love and hygiene. And then, your friends are over! All the prep work involved will get that missing person off your mind in no time!
8. Schedule video chats or calls!
Missing someone doesn't always mean that person is gone forever-- so talk to them! If you schedule a time that you're going to call or video chat with this person, you have both something to look forward to all day. You'll miss them when you hang up, but that time will make your in-person reunion that much sweeter.
9. If the person you're missing is not coming back, try replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.
Sometimes it's impossible to distract yourself from missing someone right away, and that's okay. You should recognize that you are allowed to feel sad for missing someone, even if they did you wrong. While it's okay to be sad, try to not let it define you. When you have a sad thought, remember something else that's happy.
You could even go as far as to write happy things down whenever they happen on little bits of paper and putting them in a jar. When you think of that person and feel sad, pick out a piece of paper from the jar and read that happy moment. Remembering the good things and accepting the sad things is probably the most important step in moving on.
10. Read that person's favorite book or watch that person's favorite movie.
This may sound counterproductive, but can actually help you to feel closer to that person that you miss. A person's favorite book or movie is usually personal to them, and for you to let yourself go in their favorite thing rather than yours could help you to feel more like you're with them.
11. Don't be preoccupied imagining what the other person is doing.
Whether it's the loss of your significant other or your friend, jealousy is a monster that must be tackled. You can't spend time with them, so no one else should either! Wrong. Remember that you miss this person so much because you love them, and loving them means that you want them to be happy. Don't get jealous if they are going out with friends, and don't worry about every single little thing they are doing. They love you, they'll come back to you, and them being away doesn't mean that they shouldn't be happy.
12. Learn to love yourself.
This is the most important thing overall. When you miss someone so much, sometimes it's hard to remember the good things about yourself, or even who you are without that person. So relearn yourself, find out what makes you you and why that's amazing. You are a person without that special someone that you're missing, so learn to love that person, and you'll get through!