12 Ways To Cope With Missing Someone

12 Ways To Cope With Missing Someone

It might take time. But you can do it.
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Missing someone is always hard, whether it's a goodbye or a see you later, or whether it's a friend or a boyfriend or a parent. Along with missing someone always comes feelings of loneliness and inadequacy, a sort of longing that doesn't seem like it can ever be satisfied. There's a certain gripping sadness to missing someone, sometimes a literal tug on your heartstrings that makes it hard to think about anything besides that person.

But the most important part of missing someone is loving yourself. Whether it's that friend that's going away to college thousands of miles away from you, your parent that you're going to miss when you leave, or even just your significant other being on vacation, use the time away from them to focus on you.

Here are 12 ways to help you cope with missing that certain someone this summer. And don't worry, you're really not alone.

1. Allow yourself some time to be sad—but only some time.

As easy as it sounds to just "move on" and "get over it," unfortunately, it's usually not that easy. When you miss someone, it's completely normal to feel sad, and it's okay to feel sad! But it's not okay to stay sad. So pop in your favorite tearjerker flick or listen to your favorite sad song for the first night, but after that, no more.

2. Rediscover things you used to love.

Life usually gets in the way of us doing the things that we love, whether it's painting or learning a language or online shopping. So when you start missing that certain someone, use the time you could be spending missing them, and start back up on that thing you used to love but lost time for! The time is back-- use it!

3. Watch your favorite movie.

This may sound elementary, but it really can go a long way. At an average, it's two hours of distraction from missing someone while also legitimately entertaining you. Win-win!

4. Go out with your other friends.



Go on a coffee date with your best friend who's still in town. Go to the movies with another! Honestly, after you're done wallowing in self-pity, jam pack your schedule so that every night you are out and about doing things with different people. It gets rid of a lot of loneliness for at least a few hours, and to be honest, you just feel less pathetic in general.

5. Exercise!

Alright, hear me out on this one. Yes, exercise sucks sometimes and yes, jogging can make you feel like you're having a heart attack, but under the umbrella of self-love, exercise is #1. It gets your endorphins going, so it makes you happy, and it makes you hot at the same time!

6. Read and write.

After you watch your favorite movie, reread your favorite book! Or pick up one of the seemingly thousands of new books that are sitting on your bookshelf, waiting to be read. Let yourself climb into a world that's not your own and meet characters who aren't real people—a little escape from reality can only do you good. And in the same vein, write a little bit! Even if you don't think you're much of a writer, sometimes getting your thoughts down on paper can really clear your head!

7. Invite people over.

Inviting people over may seem like the same thing as going out, but actually allows you to distract yourself more. Inviting friends to your house makes you a host, and as a host, most people feel the need to tidy up, to cook, to get dressed and look nice. Sometimes it can be a call for some self-love and hygiene. And then, your friends are over! All the prep work involved will get that missing person off your mind in no time!

8. Schedule video chats or calls!

Missing someone doesn't always mean that person is gone forever-- so talk to them! If you schedule a time that you're going to call or video chat with this person, you have both something to look forward to all day. You'll miss them when you hang up, but that time will make your in-person reunion that much sweeter.

9. If the person you're missing is not coming back, try replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.

Sometimes it's impossible to distract yourself from missing someone right away, and that's okay. You should recognize that you are allowed to feel sad for missing someone, even if they did you wrong. While it's okay to be sad, try to not let it define you. When you have a sad thought, remember something else that's happy.

You could even go as far as to write happy things down whenever they happen on little bits of paper and putting them in a jar. When you think of that person and feel sad, pick out a piece of paper from the jar and read that happy moment. Remembering the good things and accepting the sad things is probably the most important step in moving on.

10. Read that person's favorite book or watch that person's favorite movie.

This may sound counterproductive, but can actually help you to feel closer to that person that you miss. A person's favorite book or movie is usually personal to them, and for you to let yourself go in their favorite thing rather than yours could help you to feel more like you're with them.

11. Don't be preoccupied imagining what the other person is doing.


Whether it's the loss of your significant other or your friend, jealousy is a monster that must be tackled. You can't spend time with them, so no one else should either! Wrong. Remember that you miss this person so much because you love them, and loving them means that you want them to be happy. Don't get jealous if they are going out with friends, and don't worry about every single little thing they are doing. They love you, they'll come back to you, and them being away doesn't mean that they shouldn't be happy.

12. Learn to love yourself.


This is the most important thing overall. When you miss someone so much, sometimes it's hard to remember the good things about yourself, or even who you are without that person. So relearn yourself, find out what makes you you and why that's amazing. You are a person without that special someone that you're missing, so learn to love that person, and you'll get through!

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

To The Guy Who Ghosted Me, You Broke Me Into Nothing By Saying Nothing, But Now I'm Bouncing Back

You betrayed me in a way I expected from any other guy but you

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I thought I hit the jackpot. I thought it would take me quite some time to find someone to replace the guy I lost, who I didn't want to lose. I thought no one would come close to him, but that's when I met you. You made me forget about the pain of the past with your comforting words. You were so real, you have gone through your own sets of trials, been through hell and back in many aspects of life, and you were there to talk to me and feed me warm, happy maple syrup feelings I didn't think I'd feel again so soon.

You drip honey, so sticky on the inside but so innocent on the outside, upon first glance.

I gave in to you in every sense. I opened up, I told you things I don't like telling people, especially a random guy I'd just met. You're the kind of guy a girl can look at and say, "Wow, this is going to suck when you leave." You weren't supposed to leave.

I was the girl who wasn't a psycho like your exes, but you couldn't handle something too real, too tame. Your thrill for psychotic bitches is your downfall. I was going to ask you about where we stood and prove doubters wrong. You were the boy I wanted to bring home in a few months time, to meet my family, to meet all of my friends, but you never gave me the chance. You left me to plans that you knew would never happen. You betrayed me in a way I expected from any other guy but you and ripped out a part of me I don't think I'll ever get back.

I trusted you to a fault because I'm someone who always looks for the benefit of the doubt in a situation. I cut you slack, I gave you chances to tell me the truth. You owed me the truth and all I got was you watching my stories on Snapchat, an answer without words. You bought me flowers and candy for Valentine's Day and made me pasta twice because you knew I loved it. You let me meet your dog. How dare you do things for me to treat me like something so disposable? Did I ever even matter? I felt something so real, a cosmic connection, and you broke it with ease. You broke me into nothing by saying nothing, but now I'm bouncing back.

I may not be making any leaps or bounds at the moment, but I'm going to get back out there. It's unfortunate that you defiled the trust I had, but I'm not going to let that stop me from opening up to anyone else. It's just going to be a rougher road to walk on since you've taken the smooth exterior away. It took me days before I could really cry over you. I cried hot tears of true pain, that burned my face when they fell. That being said, those tears have stopped now. I prayed over getting you back, asking those watching over me to reverse what's written for me, to give me you again, to have you give me an answer.

You're not supposed to be with me. I'm not supposed to be with you. You're another step closer to who I'm supposed to be with. Maybe it's you, just down the line when you get it together, but I certainly am not holding my breath for you or anyone else who hurts me ever again.

You ghosted me, and now you're a part of the list of boys who have done the same thing. Your ghosting stung a lot and left me more vulnerable than usual. But I'm not letting you and your lack of respect for me prevent me from moving on. I won't see you around, except on Snapchat, watching my stories while I watch yours. I'm writing this for me as I heal and look forward to the day ambulance sirens and the sound of saying your name in conversations stops hurting me.

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Hey Little Sis, Heartbreaks Are Rough, But I Promise You That It's Going To Be OK

I've been there — we've all been there — and it sucks, but it's not the end of the world, I promise.

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Dear Little Sister,

I know this sucks. Heartbreak is hard. Your first relationship lasted much longer than mine did, so I can only imagine how much more it hurts right now. I get it. But, you aren't alone in what you're feeling. So, here is my best advice for you.

Your feelings are completely valid

It does not matter if you broke up with him, or if you're still young, or anything anyone else wants to say. Your feelings are valid because they are what you are feeling. No one has the right to tell you what to feel—you have a right to feel your feelings fully.

Keep your chin up

You are a complete person all on your own—you don't need no man! You are great the way you are, and strong enough to get through it all.

Stay positive

This relationship didn't work out? That's OK! You're that much closer to finding the one that will. Mom's right—this just teaches you more of what you do or don't want in a relationship.

Don't jump into another relationship right away

I know you're used to having someone there, and the company and support are great. But don't let someone you care about become a rebound. If they really care about you, they'll wait until you're sure of yourself again. You deserve time to yourself.

You're going to learn who your real friends are—lean on them.

If your friends feel the need to pick sides over your relationship ending, they probably weren't really your friends to start with. Your friend circle is going to shrink a little, but that's OK. It's best to know who is there for you now. And while you're leaning on your friends, don't forget you can lean on your family. I know when you're 15 it can be hard to relate to your parents, but I promise you they care about you.

If you want to chill with Ben & Jerry for a while, that's cool

Puns completely intended. But, go ahead and eat the ice cream (there's no reason not to). You deserve it.

Do not forget your worth

You are beautiful and smart and kind. You deserve the best. Live your best life, my dear.

I know I don't have all the answers, but I hope this helps. I am always here for you.

I love you,

Your big sister

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