12 Ways To Cope With Missing Someone

12 Ways To Cope With Missing Someone

It might take time. But you can do it.
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Missing someone is always hard, whether it's a goodbye or a see you later, or whether it's a friend or a boyfriend or a parent. Along with missing someone always comes feelings of loneliness and inadequacy, a sort of longing that doesn't seem like it can ever be satisfied. There's a certain gripping sadness to missing someone, sometimes a literal tug on your heartstrings that makes it hard to think about anything besides that person.

But the most important part of missing someone is loving yourself. Whether it's that friend that's going away to college thousands of miles away from you, your parent that you're going to miss when you leave, or even just your significant other being on vacation, use the time away from them to focus on you.

Here are 12 ways to help you cope with missing that certain someone this summer. And don't worry, you're really not alone.

1. Allow yourself some time to be sad—but only some time.

As easy as it sounds to just "move on" and "get over it," unfortunately, it's usually not that easy. When you miss someone, it's completely normal to feel sad, and it's okay to feel sad! But it's not okay to stay sad. So pop in your favorite tearjerker flick or listen to your favorite sad song for the first night, but after that, no more.

2. Rediscover things you used to love.

Life usually gets in the way of us doing the things that we love, whether it's painting or learning a language or online shopping. So when you start missing that certain someone, use the time you could be spending missing them, and start back up on that thing you used to love but lost time for! The time is back-- use it!

3. Watch your favorite movie.

This may sound elementary, but it really can go a long way. At an average, it's two hours of distraction from missing someone while also legitimately entertaining you. Win-win!

4. Go out with your other friends.



Go on a coffee date with your best friend who's still in town. Go to the movies with another! Honestly, after you're done wallowing in self-pity, jam pack your schedule so that every night you are out and about doing things with different people. It gets rid of a lot of loneliness for at least a few hours, and to be honest, you just feel less pathetic in general.

5. Exercise!

Alright, hear me out on this one. Yes, exercise sucks sometimes and yes, jogging can make you feel like you're having a heart attack, but under the umbrella of self-love, exercise is #1. It gets your endorphins going, so it makes you happy, and it makes you hot at the same time!

6. Read and write.

After you watch your favorite movie, reread your favorite book! Or pick up one of the seemingly thousands of new books that are sitting on your bookshelf, waiting to be read. Let yourself climb into a world that's not your own and meet characters who aren't real people—a little escape from reality can only do you good. And in the same vein, write a little bit! Even if you don't think you're much of a writer, sometimes getting your thoughts down on paper can really clear your head!

7. Invite people over.

Inviting people over may seem like the same thing as going out, but actually allows you to distract yourself more. Inviting friends to your house makes you a host, and as a host, most people feel the need to tidy up, to cook, to get dressed and look nice. Sometimes it can be a call for some self-love and hygiene. And then, your friends are over! All the prep work involved will get that missing person off your mind in no time!

8. Schedule video chats or calls!

Missing someone doesn't always mean that person is gone forever-- so talk to them! If you schedule a time that you're going to call or video chat with this person, you have both something to look forward to all day. You'll miss them when you hang up, but that time will make your in-person reunion that much sweeter.

9. If the person you're missing is not coming back, try replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.

Sometimes it's impossible to distract yourself from missing someone right away, and that's okay. You should recognize that you are allowed to feel sad for missing someone, even if they did you wrong. While it's okay to be sad, try to not let it define you. When you have a sad thought, remember something else that's happy.

You could even go as far as to write happy things down whenever they happen on little bits of paper and putting them in a jar. When you think of that person and feel sad, pick out a piece of paper from the jar and read that happy moment. Remembering the good things and accepting the sad things is probably the most important step in moving on.

10. Read that person's favorite book or watch that person's favorite movie.

This may sound counterproductive, but can actually help you to feel closer to that person that you miss. A person's favorite book or movie is usually personal to them, and for you to let yourself go in their favorite thing rather than yours could help you to feel more like you're with them.

11. Don't be preoccupied imagining what the other person is doing.


Whether it's the loss of your significant other or your friend, jealousy is a monster that must be tackled. You can't spend time with them, so no one else should either! Wrong. Remember that you miss this person so much because you love them, and loving them means that you want them to be happy. Don't get jealous if they are going out with friends, and don't worry about every single little thing they are doing. They love you, they'll come back to you, and them being away doesn't mean that they shouldn't be happy.

12. Learn to love yourself.


This is the most important thing overall. When you miss someone so much, sometimes it's hard to remember the good things about yourself, or even who you are without that person. So relearn yourself, find out what makes you you and why that's amazing. You are a person without that special someone that you're missing, so learn to love that person, and you'll get through!

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

As Much As You May Want To, You'll Never Get Over Your First Love

You never forget your first

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Your first love is just that: the first person you've ever truly loved (besides your family and friends). Maybe you've kissed a few people before, but with this person it's different. They mean something to you that no other person ever has before. Maybe you met this person when you were younger in high school or met them a little later in life as I did at the end of my first year of college. Meeting my first love transformed me, both for the good and the bad, and as much as I may want to, I'll never get over my first love and neither will you.

When we met, we didn't meet in some fantastical way, we met on Tinder right after a surprise breakup of mine. We had instant chemistry, and I didn't get to kiss him for weeks because I ended up getting mono right after the breakup (haha whoops). He was the first person I've ever kissed who I didn't want to stop kissing- ever. Yes, second semester freshman year me was super extra when it came to him, but being with him was so different than anyone else. Things progressed through the summer as we talked every single day, even though we never got to meet up because we were both busy, and at the beginning of my sophomore year, I lost my virginity to him. That was a big step for someone who thought she'd wait until she was married. He made sure I was fine and didn't push me to do anything I wasn't comfortable with. I'll treasure that forever.

He was someone I loved with all of my being, to the point where it was physically hurting me in the end because I knew what I felt wasn't going to ever be reciprocated the way I wanted it to be. That's when I had to end it, which was one of the hardest things I've ever done. To me, he was a boyfriend, but to him, I was a friend with benefits. I wanted something more and he wanted less, and I didn't want to accept that. I wasn't his first love but he was mine, which he doesn't know and probably never will. I have had moments where I thought I was over him, but then all the emotions flood right back. In hard moments of hurt is when I miss him the most, but also in moments of joy too. If I see a nice car I think of him, or of other little things, like a french bulldog or The Fast and The Furious.

Your first love leaves such a monumental effect on you as a person. They have seen parts of you others have not. You will always remember your firsts more than anything else, which is why your first love never leaves you. As roughly as things ended between he and I, he's always going to have a piece of me that no one else will ever have. The relationship we had wasn't what you'd expect from someone you call your first love, but his mark on me is what helped shape me into who I am today for better or for worse.

Don't let any negativity remain when it comes to your first love (if there is any). Let it go and remember the good. They will be a part of you forever, so you can never truly get over you.

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Why You Keep Falling In Love With People Who Don’t Love You Back In Your 20s

It's embedded in our human psychology to always desire deeper connections and meaningful relationships with the people we hold close to our heart, even if the feeling aren't necessarily mutual.

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Can love truly be both beautiful and heartbreaking?

It's a question I silently asked myself, sitting shotgun in a car next to someone I considered my friend.

A "friend" seemed to be the right label to define our relationship. To him, I was just a friend—who just happened to be a girl, a girl he texts regularly, jokes around, and can grab a drink with. And we loved each other as friends, because we both trusted each other, we had fun together and each had our own independent lives which would connect occasionally in a complete, non-questionable platonic way.

But slowly, for me, he was becoming everything I've ever wanted in a guy, standing right in front of me. But he wasn't mine to have.

And imagine being so close to someone you want except you can't have him because it might just ruin everything you've already shared together. Because what if you scare him away? What if he replies by telling you "No"?

That's the simple nature of falling in love with someone you can't be with.

In our early part of our lives—particularly in our 20s and during our college years, we all experience this type of heartbreak.

To name a few: A high school boyfriend who lives halfway across the country now. The hot guy you sit next to in lecture who already has a girlfriend. The casual hookup who you just can't manage to stop thinking about as you endlessly toss and turn at night. The platonic friend who doesn't quite see you as being something more.

We all at one point in our thoughts have imagined "coupling" or sharing a life with a guy who we can't seem to have for ourselves. We've always dreamt how things could actually work out if you actually shared your feelings with him except the closest we'll ever reach to it is in our dreams, not reality.

And to examine the logic behind why this happens, we have to first admit how we always want what we can't have.

Because it's embedded in our human psychology to always desire deeper connections and meaningful relationships with the people we hold close to our heart, even if the feeling aren't necessarily mutual.

So, it's not really this case of the whole Romeo and Juliet "star-crossed lovers" BS but rather, it's purely a one sided love which can most definitely be beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. Beautiful because there's always a connection you feel which makes you all warm and bubbly inside but heartbreaking because you know this connection is merely flowing in a one way track.

So then, why do we tend to maintain our connections with these people who hurt us?

One reason is because you're afraid to lose him altogether. Perhaps you think he's going to go on full freak-out mode after you spill the beans to him. My piece of advice in this scenario would be to just suck it up and take the chance. Talk to him about how you feel because honestly, what's there to lose? Unless you're not reciting some sappy, over-the-top love story about how many kids you plan to have with him, you're fine.

But perhaps, the most common reason is because we assume he might eventually fall in love with us, too.

And if this pertains to you, gear up because I can write on for days about why this is a big no-no. Heck, I can probably teach a class or lecture to all of you about my elaborative theory of why you will definitely know whether a boy truly loves you or not. It's plain and simple—if he loves you, he'll make sure you know.

And you can't force someone to fall in love with you. Even if you pay them a million bucks, you can get them to pretend to love you or force them to be with you—but it's never going to be true love. Because true, unrequited love is effortless. It comes naturally. The fiery passion will be shared mutually and you won't ever have to question whether or not you belong with him.

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