This past weekend, I was a bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding. It was so much fun to be part of her special day and everything that goes into a wedding. So many moments of stress, laughter, excitement and anticipation occur on the day of. Everything from hoping I don't accidentally trip walking down the aisle (you'll be happy to know that I didn't) to relaxing as someone did my hair and makeup, to really hoping my bridesmaid dress still fit after having not tried it on for a couple weeks (probably not the best idea on my part, but I was able to zip myself in).
Literally, so hot RN
Literally, so hot RN
I can't wait to have kids because to me, THAT is my career path.
I don't have an idea as to what I want to do when it comes to the classic working world because nothing appeals to me more than raising a family and being a good wife.
My idea of hard work consists of raising children and being the best wife and mother that I can possibly be. Sure, that doesn't compare to working in a factory, making concoctions in a lab, or crunching numbers all day, but in some ways, I think raising a family is more challenging.
For a long time, I thought I knew what I wanted to do as a career path. I toyed around with at least two different ideas at all times — sometimes more. It wasn't until I had a taste of each career that I realized I have no clue what I want to do with my life — except have children and raise a family. Honestly, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
This decision of mine does not mean that I am not capable of holding a "standard" job. I'm sure that if I wanted to, I could become an accountant. If I worked hard enough, I could be a nurse. I could do anything I put my mind to, but what I want that to be is a mother and a wife.
The challenge of raising children in the "right" way is enough of a challenge for me. When becoming a mother, you sign an invisible contract that instructs you to raise a child in the best, most moral, and most loving way that is humanly possible. That, in itself, should be listed in the Yellow Pages.
I can't wait to be a mother because I'm not sure I want a job. The idea of working a 9-5 is not my cup of tea. There's a saying that goes, "Do what you love and love what you do." To me, that means chasing babies around while my floor is scattered in Candy Land pieces while PB&Js; wait in the kitchen.
Pregnancy and college just seriously do not mix together. There are only a few people that can financially and emotionally afford to bring a human into this world at such a young age. And for that, I applaud them.
I wanted to get some more understanding on what women in college would do if they were culture-shocked with a positive pregnancy test, and here is what I found:
1. Supportive fam squad - Age 20
"I would keep the baby and figure out how to raise it on my own. I have a very supportive family so I know that they would have my back in the end."
You're one of the lucky ones, baby girl. Not too many people are blessed with family members that are willing to support their child's/sister's/ brother's every move. We can see this is many of the other responses (it's quite sad actually):
Age 19: "I actually had a bit of a scare this month so I already thought this through... I would drop out of school and get a job. Hopefully, continue with some night classes at a community college but I would need to get a job. My parents already told me years ago that they would cut me off if I got pregnant. I would need to get my own place too. I would seek out different services (like Good Counsel Homes). Once I had the baby, I would put it up for adoption in hopes of giving the child a better future."
Age 20: "I would handle it with my parents and see what they said about what I should do. I would talk to my boyfriend and see how he felt after everything is talked about I would see if we should put the kid up for adoption. I wouldn't want to ruin the kid's future and life if I wasn't ready for a baby. Although it's bad and wrong to abort, I would have to do what's best."
2. Abortion — no questions asked - Age 20
“I would get an abortion because I know that I cannot financially or emotionally take care of a child at this age. I want to continue my education and get a well-paying job, have a social life, and take care of myself. I cannot do that while pregnant."
Because the most mature thing is to admit when you aren't ready. I applaud you for that Miss. Anonymous — you are a different breed of woman. Thank you. Here are some other ladies that agree with her:
Age 20 - “Having a child is a blessing because some girls can't. But therefore I'd have to have an abortion due to the fact that I wouldn't be able to handle that also because I'm not ready to be a mother."
Keepin' it short and simple:
From two 20-year-olds- "Get an abortion," and "Abortion."
Age 19 - "Plan B/Abortion."
Age 18 - “I wouldn't have the baby, and wouldn't lose my education."
Age 21 - “Probably get an abortion because I'm just starting my life."
3. Babies after marriage ONLY - Age 22
“My boyfriend is terrified of getting pregnant out of wedlock, it's not that we're uncommitted it's just he has a big fear not being able to afford a child. I told myself and my girlfriends if it ever were to happen I would get an abortion and never tell him to protect him from making that hard decision. I'm not proud of it, but I do believe it is the most mature thing to do for us."
Religion is definitely a factor when having a baby. I agree with the fact that babies should only come after you've been married —sometimes it's a fear that having a child when you're not ready can cause the relationship to crumble.
4. My boyfriend's decision matters too - Age 20
“Cry, but come up with a plan and talk it out with my boyfriend."
And YASS girl, because it's his child too! I applaud your willingness to talk it out with your S.O. You're definitely not the only one! Check these responses out:
“Keep the baby! My partner and I have discussed what we would do if it were to happen and both agree to keep the child."
5. It would depend on who I'm dating - Age 23
“It would depend on the relationship I'm in. If it's strong, I'd do my best to give the baby a great life. If I wasn't in a relationship at all, I'd really have to consider my options, abortion, adoption, etc."
Say no more, girlfriend, I'm 100% with you on this, and look, some other girls are too!
Age 21 - “I would keep it if it's with my current boyfriend. I would try my best to manage school and a baby!"
6. Keep it, duh - Age 20
“Probably cry, first. Then, tell my mom and ask for her advice. I would likely keep the child. I might want to halt my relationship with the baby's father (assuming he's my boyfriend) so we could be co-parents and not risk something breaking us up."
A different approach, but definitely not a bad one. Here are some ladies that agree with you, and would 100% keep it for themselves.
Age 23 - “I'd keep it. I'd be happy. I always wanted to be a mom and being so close to graduation, it actually would be a really great thing."
From three 18-year-olds - “Have the baby and go to school concurrently.“
“Most likely keep it. Continue degree from home at a local community college."
“I would have the baby, but would probably take off two years or so to work and prepare."
From a few 20-year-olds - “Have the baby," and "I would keep it."
“Continue working hard in school and never give up no matter how hard it may be."
"I would move back home and have the baby. "
7. Adoption would be an option - Age 20
“I would try to stay in school as long as I could and then take some time off when it got closer to the pregnancy, depending on what time of year it was. I would not get an abortion, I would still have the baby but I am not sure if I would keep it or give it up for adoption. It would probably depend on whether or not I was in a relationship with the father of the child."
Give the baby the best life possible, even if that might be the best life isn't with me.
From two 19-year-olds: “Abortion or adoption," and “Keep the baby and either raise it with help from family or give it up for adoption."
All in all, everyone's views are different. I hope that if you are ever in this position you choose what's not only best for you mentally and physically, your partner, and most importantly for the human you will (or will not) bring into this world.
And, always, always, ALWAYS...