20 College Students Confess The Moment They Knew Their Relationship Was Over

Relationships can be messy. And in a lot of relationships, there comes a moment when you realize things just aren't working out the way they should be.

Whether it's a significant behavior that triggers this thought or an insignificant moment, it can signal the end of a relationship is approaching.

I asked 20 college students what these moments were for them in their relationships and this is what they had to say:

1. "When I realized I still had feelings for my ex"

I was with my boyfriend one night and realized how much I missed my ex and how much I'd rather be with him. We still haven't broken up yet but I'm going to do it soon.

- Female, 20

2. "When he dressed up as Donald Trump for Halloween and yelled racial slurs and started arguments with people"

I broke up with him within hours.

- Female, 21

3. " When he started obsessing over a gift another girl got him for his birthday"

He ended it after about a week

- Female, 20 but 15 when this happened

4. I knew at the very beginning that I wasn't into him

He actually broke up with me three months into the relationship, which worked out well.

- Female, 21

5. "I could tell that our lives were going in different directions"

My high school boyfriend and I had been dating for two years by the time I had my senior prom. He was driving us to the dance downtown and somehow I looked over at him and knew we were going to break up. It'd been a good two years and we'd talked about marriage, but I could tell that our lives were going in different directions.

I didn't want to throw away such a good relationship too quickly and I hoped that our differences might not be completely relationship-ending, so I didn't break up right away. After some prayer, I suggested that we take a temporary break. He wanted us to decide then and there about breaking up, since taking a break often lead to that and he didn't want to drag it out. We talked for a while and broke up. It was hard on both of us.

- Female, 21

6. "This cutie pulled up next to me, honked, and gave me a compliment"

When I'm in a relationship, I am all about that person. I don't even look at another person. I was in my car, stopped at a red light, and this cutie pulled up next to me, honked, and then gave me a compliment. I gave him some cheesy compliment back like "I really like your eyes" or something. It was harmless flirting, but to me, that was my sign to get out of the relationship because I wasn't all wrapped up in my then-boyfriend anymore.

I broke up with him two days later.

- Female, 20

7. "When I learned that her parents were insulting me and she didn't speak up in my defense"

It took me 2.5 years to break up with her, because of depression.

- Male, 37

8. "When we got into a fight and I was the one to apologize and he never did"

We broke up a week later.

- Female, 20

9. "We were just angry at each other all the time"

It was something that developed over time, but I didn't realize it until I was sitting in the car fighting with him, and I didn't remember what we were fighting about, but I kept fighting anyway. We were just angry with each other all the time.

It took a year and a half to end the relationship.

- Female, 20

10. "They forgot my birthday"

And didn't remember for three days. We broke up four months later.

- Female, 19

11. "He met another girl at college"

My boyfriend had gone out of state for college. He came back and was completely different. He was allowed to go out and meet new people, but he did not want me to do the same when I left for college. He also met another girl at college and would call/text her all the time when we were together. We were just holding on to strands of our relationship at that point. We broke up four months later.

- Female, 20

12. "He didn't even care about the fact that I was upset"

We were on the way home from seeing “The Purge 3" and the whole drive home I was bawling while he was explaining how the movie was so awful because it victimized the white man. He didn't even care about the fact that I was upset. I had to scream at him to get him to understand that I just wanted to have a nice date. It was like in that snap moment I realized that he didn't care about my feelings and that the relationship was completely one-sided. We didn't break up until eight months after that.

- Female, 20

13. "When he told me no one else would ever love me if I left him"

It lasted another month.

- 20, Female

14. "When I was in the hospital for a panic attack and he told me it was my fault for arguing with him "

He broke up with me that night.

- 20, Female

15. "I found out he had cheated on me"

I ended it that day.

- 20, Female

16. "When I kissed another guy"

We broke up the next day.

- 22, Female (16 when this happened)

17. "When he started having sex with me while I was asleep"

(This is rape, by the way, and is not okay under any circumstances unless both parties discussed and agreed to it in advance)

It took three months for us to break up.

- 21, Female

18. I knew it was over three weeks into college.

I broke up with him a week later.

- 18, Female

19. "I knew my relationship was over when everything that person did made me feel repulsed and annoyed"

It took about two months for me to end it.

- 18, Female

20. When my boyfriend told me he "wanted to talk"

It was over immediately.

- 19, Female

Cover Image Credit: Giphy

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

As Much As You May Want To, You'll Never Get Over Your First Love

You never forget your first


Your first love is just that: the first person you've ever truly loved (besides your family and friends). Maybe you've kissed a few people before, but with this person it's different. They mean something to you that no other person ever has before. Maybe you met this person when you were younger in high school or met them a little later in life as I did at the end of my first year of college. Meeting my first love transformed me, both for the good and the bad, and as much as I may want to, I'll never get over my first love and neither will you.

When we met, we didn't meet in some fantastical way, we met on Tinder right after a surprise breakup of mine. We had instant chemistry, and I didn't get to kiss him for weeks because I ended up getting mono right after the breakup (haha whoops). He was the first person I've ever kissed who I didn't want to stop kissing- ever. Yes, second semester freshman year me was super extra when it came to him, but being with him was so different than anyone else. Things progressed through the summer as we talked every single day, even though we never got to meet up because we were both busy, and at the beginning of my sophomore year, I lost my virginity to him. That was a big step for someone who thought she'd wait until she was married. He made sure I was fine and didn't push me to do anything I wasn't comfortable with. I'll treasure that forever.

He was someone I loved with all of my being, to the point where it was physically hurting me in the end because I knew what I felt wasn't going to ever be reciprocated the way I wanted it to be. That's when I had to end it, which was one of the hardest things I've ever done. To me, he was a boyfriend, but to him, I was a friend with benefits. I wanted something more and he wanted less, and I didn't want to accept that. I wasn't his first love but he was mine, which he doesn't know and probably never will. I have had moments where I thought I was over him, but then all the emotions flood right back. In hard moments of hurt is when I miss him the most, but also in moments of joy too. If I see a nice car I think of him, or of other little things, like a french bulldog or The Fast and The Furious.

Your first love leaves such a monumental effect on you as a person. They have seen parts of you others have not. You will always remember your firsts more than anything else, which is why your first love never leaves you. As roughly as things ended between he and I, he's always going to have a piece of me that no one else will ever have. The relationship we had wasn't what you'd expect from someone you call your first love, but his mark on me is what helped shape me into who I am today for better or for worse.

Don't let any negativity remain when it comes to your first love (if there is any). Let it go and remember the good. They will be a part of you forever, so you can never truly get over you.

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Why You Keep Falling In Love With People Who Don’t Love You Back In Your 20s

It's embedded in our human psychology to always desire deeper connections and meaningful relationships with the people we hold close to our heart, even if the feeling aren't necessarily mutual.


Can love truly be both beautiful and heartbreaking?

It's a question I silently asked myself, sitting shotgun in a car next to someone I considered my friend.

A "friend" seemed to be the right label to define our relationship. To him, I was just a friend—who just happened to be a girl, a girl he texts regularly, jokes around, and can grab a drink with. And we loved each other as friends, because we both trusted each other, we had fun together and each had our own independent lives which would connect occasionally in a complete, non-questionable platonic way.

But slowly, for me, he was becoming everything I've ever wanted in a guy, standing right in front of me. But he wasn't mine to have.

And imagine being so close to someone you want except you can't have him because it might just ruin everything you've already shared together. Because what if you scare him away? What if he replies by telling you "No"?

That's the simple nature of falling in love with someone you can't be with.

In our early part of our lives—particularly in our 20s and during our college years, we all experience this type of heartbreak.

To name a few: A high school boyfriend who lives halfway across the country now. The hot guy you sit next to in lecture who already has a girlfriend. The casual hookup who you just can't manage to stop thinking about as you endlessly toss and turn at night. The platonic friend who doesn't quite see you as being something more.

We all at one point in our thoughts have imagined "coupling" or sharing a life with a guy who we can't seem to have for ourselves. We've always dreamt how things could actually work out if you actually shared your feelings with him except the closest we'll ever reach to it is in our dreams, not reality.

And to examine the logic behind why this happens, we have to first admit how we always want what we can't have.

Because it's embedded in our human psychology to always desire deeper connections and meaningful relationships with the people we hold close to our heart, even if the feeling aren't necessarily mutual.

So, it's not really this case of the whole Romeo and Juliet "star-crossed lovers" BS but rather, it's purely a one sided love which can most definitely be beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. Beautiful because there's always a connection you feel which makes you all warm and bubbly inside but heartbreaking because you know this connection is merely flowing in a one way track.

So then, why do we tend to maintain our connections with these people who hurt us?

One reason is because you're afraid to lose him altogether. Perhaps you think he's going to go on full freak-out mode after you spill the beans to him. My piece of advice in this scenario would be to just suck it up and take the chance. Talk to him about how you feel because honestly, what's there to lose? Unless you're not reciting some sappy, over-the-top love story about how many kids you plan to have with him, you're fine.

But perhaps, the most common reason is because we assume he might eventually fall in love with us, too.

And if this pertains to you, gear up because I can write on for days about why this is a big no-no. Heck, I can probably teach a class or lecture to all of you about my elaborative theory of why you will definitely know whether a boy truly loves you or not. It's plain and simple—if he loves you, he'll make sure you know.

And you can't force someone to fall in love with you. Even if you pay them a million bucks, you can get them to pretend to love you or force them to be with you—but it's never going to be true love. Because true, unrequited love is effortless. It comes naturally. The fiery passion will be shared mutually and you won't ever have to question whether or not you belong with him.

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