Getting over an ex and moving on is HARD. We all felt at least one of these feelings:
Literally, so hot RN
Literally, so hot RN
We have all heard the saying, "the best way to get over him, is to get under someone else." The saying heard and told by girls around the world—well at least where I'm from. This might not be a popular opinion, but I believe there are much better, more productive ways to get over an ex, but if you truly believe sleeping with someone else is the best way to get over someone, then be my guest.
The thing is, many things can go wrong by sleeping with someone with the sole purpose to get over some POS you should have never dated in the first place. Sleeping with someone could make you feel worse, it could create a bad habit of relying on other people for your happiness or self-worth, the guy you're sleeping with could catch feelings, YOU could catch feelings, you could bury all of your feelings and never actually heal, or you could get pregnant and die ("Mean Girls" reference—I had to).
So, for those of you going through a breakup, I have some ideas that will keep you from experiencing all of the above.
Here are 10 ways to get over your ex WITHOUT getting under someone else:
1. Start with the basics
Get rid of his t-shirts, throw away that necklace he got you for Valentine's Day, delete those pictures and videos of him off of your phone and please for the love of God unfollow him on Instagram and Twitter. Doing all of these things will help you think of him LESS, and the less you think about him the MORE you move on. Decluttering is key. Bye Felicia!
2. Go on a girls trip
Take that trip! After my last breakup, I went to Austin, TX with my friends. There's nothing that subtly says I'm getting over you like a fun girls trip. It will help you keep things (him) off your mind, and when it's late at night and you've somehow forgotten about all of the reasons you two broke up and can only remember every happy thing that ever happened with him, your girlfriends will be right there to cheer you up.
3. Make a change
Cut your hair! Dye it! Transfer schools! Move! Whatever it is, make a change. The change you've always wanted to do but have been too scared or tied down to do. This is YOUR life now. Take advantage of the independence that comes with being single.
4. Do something you've always wanted to do
Start working out regularly. Craft. Scrapbook. Take a cooking class. Skydive. Nothing and nobody is holding you back. The emotions of heartbreak are overwhelmingly strong. Take those emotions and redirect them toward some sort of passion or hobby. Not only will it distract you, but it will help you move on.
5. Eat your favorite foods
Eat your favorite foods while watching a movie and drinking wine in the comfiest PJ's you own. Who cares how many carbs or calories there are. You have a heart to heal and that is the priority.
6. Spend time outside
Go on a hike on a nearby trail. Take your dog for a walk. Lay out. Whatever it is that keeps you from napping your life away. It'll help get your endorphins pumping, which you definitely need if you're heartbroken.
7. Take a bath
Baths are my favorite. Bring your laptop and a glass of wine so you can binge Netflix while relaxing in a warm bubble bath. It's soothing and you'll love it.
8. Go to a movie by yourself
Who needs a boy to go to your favorite movie? Your ex probably has no taste in movies anyways. Get the popcorn and Dr. Pepper or go all out and get a 21+ seat and order food and drinks while watching the movie he would have NEVER went to see with you.
Find yourself. Sometimes a break up can be eye-opening. You may realize you've put a lot of your identity in someone else. That's ok, and it happens all of the time, but before you dive into anything else just be sure you know who you are. And be sure you love who you are before you give your love and accept love from anyone else.
10. And remember, it's always ok to cry
Crying is a great way to release built up emotions. Don't hold it all in, that isn't healthy for anyone. It's a normal part of grieving the love you have lost and there's no shame in it. Cry with your head held high and don't let anyone make you feel bad for how long you take to get over your ex. There's no time limit on how long you're allowed to be heartbroken—take your time.
In the meantime, avoid other people's beds.
Now before you start thinking this is a sour article, why don't you just read a little more. I'm not here to drop names or light a fire, I'm here to say a little more than that…
You girls helped me in a way that everyone least expects, in the strangest way.
You knew he had a girlfriend, but you still did it, that I would never understand… but thank you anyway.
Thank you. It has taken me a while to get to the point where I am able to say that, but now I mean it. Thank you for making me realize I deserved so much better than I was getting. Thank you for finally giving me a reason to leave that I had been looking for for so long.
You gave me freedom—you saved me from many lies and pain that I wouldn't have to hear or feel any longer. Thank you.
Did I have hatred towards you? Did I despise both of you? Yes, there is no denying that. You and him both caused me a hell of a lot of pain, but if it weren't for that, I would not have found my happiness now.
I wouldn't have found my worth; I found happiness again. Although my trust may be weak, I have found someone who undoubtedly built it back up, who would never hurt me, and who would never sink to either one of your levels…
Thank you for proving my parents right and realizing I really should have listened before. Although I wish I would have listened a long time ago, thank you for making it to where I will forever and always trust what my parents say.
Thank you for finally giving me that reason to get out and leave, to find better. I'm afraid that if it wasn't for you then I might still be stuck in that toxic place.
Thank you for showing me that pain and that I am bigger than it. For bringing me to God and crying out to him wondering why me? Why wasn't I good enough or will I ever be? And then God sent me someone who he created just for me, who didn't make me feel weak or useless and loved to spend time with me and someone who I was enough for.
Without this absolute devastation, I never would have seen these happy days to come, I never would get to experience the joy I have now.
So thank you, thank you for breaking my heart and making me stronger than ever before.