I'm A 20-Year-Old Virgin And I'm Having More Fun Than My Deflowered Friends

I'm A 20-Year-Old Virgin And I'm Having More Fun Than My Deflowered Friends

I get it, sex is “fun” but I wouldn’t know.
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If you know me then you know I'm not a prude and I fully support getting some. I WILL be your hype man. I just don't feel the need to partake in the actual activity. That's just who I am at this point in my life.

I'm not your typical virgin.

I guess I'm not your typical virgin because generally when someone finds out they're initially in disbelief and sometimes it takes a little convincing until they actually believe me. Which I get, I'm loud, obnoxious, intimidating, and very far from shy. For whatever reason, virgins are portrayed as frail, timid creatures. Well, newsflash — we're not. We look and act like you. Just like that horror movie where there are aliens among the humans and you can't tell who's an actual person. It's like that, you'd never even know.

Not trying to toot my own horn but I've had plenty of opportunities to lose it.

But let's be serious, I don't like losing.

I've been told that once you lose "it" you crave it. Like, you go crazy for it. Let's all just thank the heavens above that that has happened to me yet because I don't have enough time in my day to worry about that.

I'm currently thriving and living my best life.

When I go out with my friends I don't worry about who I'm going home with, I only worry about having a good time with my friends. I don't think about sleeping with every attractive person I see and when I'm looking for a potential mate I don't actually care about the size of their package.

To me, it doesn't matter.

Since I focus on looking for personalities that click with mine I usually have a better time compared to my deflowered friends. Like okay, awesome, the sex was great. That's perfect. But what do you do when you're not fooling around? I appreciate a good conversation.

Now, I'm not saying that's all I'm looking for because let's be honest, how attractive you are to someone does matter, and if you think it doesn't you're lying.

If you think I'm a goody-goody or insecure you should really get to know me.

I'm totally comfortable with my body and my sexuality. I don't hide my truth and if you ask me any questions I'll answer completely honestly. I was lucky enough to be raised by parents who were always honest and answered any questions I could think of. I know not everyone is that lucky. Shoutout to Susan and Darrell.

If you're a virgin and you're reading this, just know I'm right there with you!

If you're waiting for marriage or until you find the love of your life, that's honestly so great. That's not really who I am though, I'm not waiting for a particular person, day, or moment. I'm not afraid to do it, I'm waiting until I really actually want to, and I just haven't found that or felt that yet.

For now, I'll just stick to saying no because let's be honest. It's fun saying no. I never have to say yes until I actually want to. This is something that is 100% mine and I get to choose what I do with it, and that's empowering.

It's so much easier for me to only worry about myself. Selfish, I know. Here I am, a young, selfish, college student and I'm having the time of my life.

For the males in my life that still keep trying, may the odds be ever in your favor.

And for those of you getting some on the regular, go an extra round for me.

Cover Image Credit: Stephanie Moser

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Hello, I'm 24, And Yes, I'm A Virgin — And Yes, I'll Answer All Of Your Redundant Questions At Once

You read that correctly.

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"What? Are you serious?"

"Wait a minute, there is no way you are telling me the truth."

"How are you still a virgin? Are you religious? Are you waiting for marriage? Why haven't you had sex yet? That's just so crazy..."

Welcome to my world.

First, let me introduce myself again. Hi there, my name is Reanna, I'm a 24-year-old writer and also a virgin, how do you do? The first thing in that sentence is the V word, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Now that isn't something I start going and telling people, trust me it's the last thing I want to do. I get bombarded with almost every single question up above and I hate answering it every time. The only time I decide to share it is if someone asks me something along the lines of sex or when I can't offer my opinion.

It's a little-known fact that I tend to hide from people but not anymore. Let the world know, is it's any of their business but guess what? I'm not the only one out there. It's nothing to be ashamed of, I'm certainly not. What bothers me most is when people start questioning it and looking at me like I'm crazy.

Fine, I'll answer your simple questions above.

Yes, I said I was a virgin. Yes, again, I'm dead serious. I'm telling you the truth, why lie? I'm still a virgin because I choose to be. No, I'm not religious. I don't want to ever get married so I'm not waiting for marriage. Again, I just haven't found the guy to have sex with and it is still my choice. Think it's crazy, just don't judge me.

Sex is sex, what's the big problem here?

If I choose not to sleep with a guy, I have the right to it. I have the right to be a virgin until I decide it is the best time not to be anymore. I already know I shocked you by the title but why should you be so shocked? Is it because most people lose their virginity in high school? Is it usually to their first boyfriend?

Nothing separates me from you.

You don't need to laugh or really comment on the sentence. If I'm a virgin, I'm a virgin. If you are not, then you're not. If you are, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's a strange situation to be in when people look at you like you are an alien from a different planet. People get so surprised as if you just said you came from Mars.

Maybe this is my experience but I'm in no rush to have sex.

There comes a day when it may happen but I'm not rushing to find the one so to speak. Until then, I'm glad this is off my chest and I'm glad for you to know that. You know why? Because any guy you tell that to is desperate to change your mind, trust me. If you can't respect it, why should I be the one you sleep with?

So guys here is a complete tip: If a girl tells you she is a virgin, don't act so shocked, don't act so surprised.

Nod your head, respect the choice and move on. It's as simple as that.

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What It's Like Being A 20-Year-Old Virgin In The 21st Century

For now, I wait. And that is perfectly okay.
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Sex. The topic we only spoke of in hushed tones in the past has quickly become a part of our everyday interactions. It seems to be the center of our motivations, thoughts, actions, and feelings. This is the reason I don't feel uncomfortable dedicating this week's article to the subject. Now, mom and dad, if you're reading this, I won't be offended if you stop. I'd actually be quite happy. Everybody else, do me a favor and ask yourself this:

What does it mean to be a virgin in today's society?

There is a social stigma associated with being a virgin. We're all prudes, are mega-religious, and have never even thought about what it would be like to share a night with Ryan Gosling. Right? Wrong. I promise you the majority of virgins you'll meet are virgins by choice - not because their moms have them chained to a metal post with their legs strapped shut. I've been racking my brain about questions and concerns and the million-dollar-question I have for y'all is: If it's no big deal to have sex, then why is it a big deal not to have sex? I mean really, whose business is it anyway?

I feel the criticism from my own doctor at times. She'd ask, "Are you sexually active?" I'd respond with a lightening fast "No", which she'd follow with a quick sigh and an even quicker response, "Have you ever been sexually active?" Unreal.

In a culture so consumed by "Netflix and chill" and the infamous right swipe, it's hard not to constantly wonder when (and with who) my time will come. It's almost like we're racing against the clock of chastity. I wonder if Marie Curie, Rosa Parks, or Amelia Earhart worried about who'd swipe their V-card as much as I do? Probably not, they were too busy making the world a better place.

I can't go a day without hearing about sex, talking about sex, or honestly... thinking about sex (sorry, dad). I remember a time when it was "shocking" to discover anybody was having sex and now it's "shocking" to discover anybody isn't. The reactions I get when people discover I still hold the key to my innocence aren't only mildly insulting but sad. When did it become shameful to be a virgin? I'm only 20 years old. I've only lived 1/4 of my life and in no means do I feel rushed to get down and dirty.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't plan for my life to go this way. Shocker, but my Magic 8-Ball didn't prepare me for this. I am a huge supporter of doing what you want, when you want, and with whom you want to do it with. Hell, half of my friends aren't virgins and I'm happy for them. They were with someone they loved (or at least liked) and made a choice. I've made a choice too. I am evolving with the world around me and taking life one wine bottle at a time. I don't want to settle for less than I deserve. I want somebody who loves me, respects me, and understands where I'm coming from.

I'm prepared to deal with the douchebags and the nobody losers who can't deal with the decision I've made equally as much as I'm prepared to meet the guy who can.

For now, I wait. And that is perfectly okay.

Cover Image Credit: Bustle

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