I'm 20-Years-Old And Still Not Married

I'm 20-Years-Old And Still Not Married

How my friend’s wedding made me rethink marriage.
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As a little girl, I had this dream of what it would be like to be married. I would align my Barbie dolls as my bridesmaids while I pretended to walk down the aisle, tossed my own flower petals made of ripped paper on the ground towards my imaginary groom.

Fast forward 15 years and here I am still single and still unmarried. I pictured myself being married at least by 23, my first child at 28, and my 10th anniversary at 33. Things do not always go as planned.

Looking for someone who wants to settle down young has become a thing of the past. At this point in time marriage and love seemed like an urban myth. With this mindset, I could never picture myself being married.

This past weekend I had the pleasure of going to my friend’s wedding from high school. When she told me she was getting married it was something that I could not believe. Not because it was her getting married but because it hit me how there was still that aspect of my life missing. It’s been awhile since I saw her and others’ I went to school with.

As I sat there listening to what everyone had to say about their lives I could truly say that I have yet to find or experience that kind of love. During the bachelorette party, my friend asked the question. “So how’d you guys meet?” They met online and to some people that can be off-putting, but they took a chance.

But what stood out to me was the amount of understanding they had for each other when they first met; they already knew what they were looking for in a partner. For the first time in a long time, I felt my heart flutter and saw a glimpse of hope.

When leaving the party, there was something I said to her which I could take back. Since the wedding was the next day I could tell that she was kind of nervous. I came to her and hugged her and said, “Don’t worry this day is all about you and we are just mere peasants." I wish I could tell her that I lied because that wedding meant so much more to me.

It was almost negative three degrees that day, but my heart never felt so warm. I walked into the chapel and saw the grade school pictures of her and her now husband and the twinkling of the lights on the stage that was like fireflies.

When I saw her walk in it was like looking at an Angel. The smile on her groom’s face read accomplishment. When I saw his face, I felt myself get choked up. I could see there was no doubt in his mind the decision that was being made. Disney movies have a repetitive storyline where all happy endings end in marriage.

As I sat in my seat, I thought to myself “Ahh this isn’t a fairytale ending, rather a fairytale beginning." Life doesn’t end in marriage it is the beginning that you will have to continue to prepare for. Yes, I’m 20 and still not married but I have regained the hope of being married in the future. The age of marriage and finding love doesn’t have an expiration date. At the reception seeing the older couples dance filled my heart with such real-life fairytale thoughts.

Thank you, Nikki for giving me the experience to reconnect with people that I haven’t seen in a long time. Thank you, Nikki for showing me the patience that comes with finding the one. Thank you, Nikki, for taking that next life into marriage.
Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

To My Future Fiance, If You’re Proposing To Me For The Instagram Content, Have Fun Posting A Video Of Me Saying ‘No’

Whoever you are, take notes for future reference.

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OK, OK, he can propose to me in public, but if it's a grand event that has nothing to do with my character, then 100% I'm saying, "No, try again."

I hope that one day someone special has my heart and wants to spend the rest of their life with me. But I want them to really know who I am. Inside and out and all around. I'm not a showy person, I'm not into social media, and I don't want a 20-carat ring. There's nothing wrong with any of those things, but it's never been for me. It's just not me.

I'm never going to do anything because someone else or the general society thinks or says I should do it. I like to defy society and do what's best for me. Even if I do something that is acceptable by society's standards, I'm not doing it for them, I'm doing it for me. I always say, "If someone wants to get to know me then they shouldn't judge what they see, read, or hear, they should just say, 'Hi,' and we can go from there." I don't post something for others to see, I post it for myself. Because it makes me feel good. Because I impulsively want to.

So, I want my fiancé's initial feeling of complete and absolute love to be blurted out to me ASAP. You don't have to keep your passions hidden while you plan a huge fiasco with balloons and confetti and "Will you marry me?" clouds in the sky. I don't need that for you to tell me you love me.

My dream proposal would be us cooking and taste tasting dinner, dancing, and singing to our favorite song when you just pause to look at me and ask, "You wanna get married?"

Of course, I'd question if you're being serious or not, but if we've already discussed the future and our hearts are in the right place, I'd melt in your arms.

You're not proposing to me to show off our love to your Facebook friends. You're proposing to me because you want nothing else but me. If you want to plan something special afterward, go ahead. Thoughtful surprises make me feel so special, but make sure that it's planned for me.

My long-distance boyfriend recently surprised me with a visit by calling my parents to figure out just how to leave me open-mouthed. I realized how much I appreciated the planning and arrangement. No one has ever done that for me before and I won't lie, I loved it. I wouldn't mind a fun proposal. I would be eternally grateful for the thought behind it, but I want the initial question to be intimate, personal, and tailored for me.

At the end of the day, sure, the proposal can be out and about in public, but I want the focus to be us. Not just me or you, but our relationship and our future. I don't care if other people don't think you love me enough because the proposal wasn't a showstopper. I know how you feel about me and that's all that matters.

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16 Wedding Gifts Under $50 That'll Have Any Wedding Guest Say 'I Do'

Because being on a budget doesn't mean you have to arrive at a wedding empty-handed.

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If you're on a budget but have a wedding to go to, it can be hard to find an affordable wedding gift you can buy for the bride and groom. You don't want to show up empty-handed, but you also don't want to spend an arm and a leg on a gift when there are plenty of other people attending who are better off affording certain items. (A good rule of thumb? Always try to "pay for your plate" — or the cost of what the bride and groom likely paid for you to be there.)

Most of the time, there are lots of things you can find on a registry under $50. Whether it be towels, a waffle maker or oven mitts, you can usually find SOMETHING in your price range. If not, this list is for you.

Brides-to-be: Here is a list of things to add to your wedding registry for your broke AF friends.

Broke friends: Here is a list of things to get if everything on your friend's list is way out of your price range.

1. Personalized cutting board

Personalized Cutting Board, 12 Designs & 3 Sizes, Bamboo Cutting Board, Wedding Gifts for Couple, Housewarming Gift & Kitchen Sign - Butcher Block Inlay Board #G

2. Cookbook

The Complete Cooking for Two Cookbook, Gift Edition: 650 Recipes for Everything You'll Ever Want to Make

3. Meat and cheese board

Bamboo Cheese Board and Knife Set - Charcuterie Board Set for Cheese Platter. Wood Serving Tray For Wine, Meat, Appetizers, Snacks - Entertaining Kitchenware Gift Ideas for Wedding and Housewarming

4. Handheld vacuum

Handheld Vacuum Cordless, HUNLEE 5KPA Powerful Suction Hand Vacuum Cordless Cleaner Rechargeable Hand Vac with 2.5h Quick Charge, Lightweight Hand Held Vacuum Cordless for Home and Car Cleaning

5. Carry on

COOLIFE Luggage Expandable(only 28") Suitcase PC+ABS Spinner 20in 24in 28in Carry on (White Grid New, S(20in)_Carry on)

6. Blender

NutriBullet NBR-1201 12-Piece High-Speed Blender/Mixer System, Gray (600 Watts)

7. Crock-Pot

Crock-Pot SCCPVL610-S-A 6-Quart Cook & Carry Programmable Slow Cooker with Digital Timer Stainless Steel

8. Bathroom towels

Luxury Hotel & Spa Bath Towel 100% Genuine Turkish Cotton, 27" x 54", Set of 4, White

9. Waffle maker

Cuisinart WAF-F10 Belgian Waffle Maker, Stainless Steel

10. Tools

DEKOPRO 128 Piece Tool Set-General Household Hand Tool Kit, Auto Repair Tool Set, with Plastic Toolbox Storage Case

11. Kitchen tools

Stainless Steel Kitchen Utensil Set - 29 Cooking Utensils - Nonstick Kitchen Utensils Cookware Set with Spatula - Best Kitchen Gadgets Kitchen Tool Set Gift by HomeHero

12. Baking dishes

Staub Ceramic 2-pc Rectangular Baking Dish Set - Rustic Red

13. Kitchen Towels

The Weaver's Blend Set of 3 Kitchen Towels + 3 Dish Cloths, Basket Weave, 100% Cotton, Absorbent, Size 28"x18" and 12'x12", Yellow Stripe, Kitchen Towels and Dish Cloths

14. Cute AF oven mitts

RED LMLDETA Oven Mitts Set of 2 with Transparent Clear Silicone Shell and Nice Dog Printing Cotton Lining, Heat Resistant to 500 F Kitchen Oven Gloves Pot Holder for Cooking (Blue)

15. Kitchen knife

J.A. Henckels International CLASSIC 8" Chef's Knife

16. Pizza cutter

16" Pizza Cutter by Kitchenstar | Sharp Stainless Steel Slicer Knife - Rocker Style w Blade Cover | Chop and Slices Perfect Portions + Dishwasher Safe - Premium Pizza Accessories

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