It's 2018 And It's Time To Prioritize Your Relationships

It's 2018 And It's Time To Prioritize Your Relationships

Even if we are late to the game.

Happy New Year!!! It is finally 2018 and it is time that we start to prioritize our relationships, focus on the important ones and get rid of the negative and toxic ones. Maybe you aren’t like me and you have already done this, but if you haven’t, it is time that you and I do this together. I realized that this was a need for 2018 after being in therapy for the last three months and finally learning that not all relationships are worth the hassle and you shouldn’t be the only one trying in the relationship.

The hardest part is choosing what relationships are worth fighting for and which ones aren’t worth fighting for. Trying to figure out who is toxic and who isn’t, I know this isn’t always the easiest and I am going to give you some tips on how to figure that out and while these may not apply to all toxic relationships it does apply to most of them.

Signs that the relationship is meant to be left in 2017 with everything else we all want to forget: the other person in the relationship is always trying to start problems for no reason, they make up lies just to start fights, they make you feel bad even when you have done nothing wrong, you always find yourself trying to justify yourself to them. These are just a few of the signs that your relationship is toxic. I don’t mean just relationships with a boyfriend or girlfriend I also mean friendships that are toxic and even friends that you think would never be toxic can be, never did I think that I would have a toxic relationship with my GBig in my sorority and she is the first toxic relationship I will be leaving in 2017.

You may think that this is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do because you might think they will change, reality check, they probably aren’t going to be changing anytime soon. I am also here to tell you that although it may seem like one of the hardest things in the world to do right now, you will be so much happier in the end because you no longer have this toxic relationship that you have to spend so much time on dragging you down, instead you can focus on your relationships that are the most important with the people who are going to support you and help you through your toughest spots even when you are being completely stupid and making mistakes.

Find your people who will hold your hand through all the bullshit, all the hard times and also all the wonderful times, find people who you can make memories with that when you look back at them in 10 years you are still able to laugh about it. Find someone you would want your future children to be friends with or to date. If you look at your friends and say I would never let my children be with people like you then maybe it’s time to reevaluate your relationships and start leaving some in 2017!

Here is to you, because you got this and you deserve so much better than that kind of toxicity in your life! Leave them in 2017 and go find yourself some new friends who are going to support your wildest dreams and be there even when you fall and hit rock bottom.

Cover Image Credit: Saksham Gangwar

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I've Never Had A Female BFF To Share That Friendship Necklace With And That Is Okay

Not having a BFF is not the end of the world.

I have never really had a long-term, female best friend. I would be lying if I wish I had something like that. I cannot really explain why I have never had one. I know when I was younger, I did not connect very well with most other girls in my grade. I still have trouble connecting occasionally.

This is not saying I've never had a female friend, I have. Many actually, some for several years. I just have never had that connection that you see in the movies. What people would call "besties" such as Raven and Chelsea in "That's So Raven." I never understood that level of friendship.

I went to a few sleepovers and to several girls' houses but that ever lasted more than a year or so. For some reason, I could never really keep it going further. TV may partially be my downfall with this illusion of what a female best friend should be like.

I've talked to some other people before about this situation, and even other girls have said similar things. For the longest time, I thought there was something wrong with me. Though maybe, I have not met that person yet, and that fear makes me drive away those people who could possibly fill that role.

While I have close friends, I don't quite have that one person I can go to and discuss every little detail about events in my life, gossip, or "talk about cute boys" like I saw in so many shows and movies growing up.

But not having a female best friend is not the end of the world.

Making friends is always an awkward experience and definitely has a skill level. I know people that can make friends within a day, and others who take several times meeting. I am one of those that takes some time. I need to warm up to people before I can decide if I want to continue a more involved friendship.

Now, I am not trying to undermine any of my friends. I have so many amazing friends and so many that I am close too, but it would be hard to pinpoint who my BFF technically is. I'm introverted in nature, I like personal space, and time away from people.

Those who I am willing to spend time with mean the world to me.

I've had so many friends come and go, through both good and bad terms. I've also had some long-term friends, both male, and female, but poor communication on my part has probably kept those friendships from going further.

So maybe I don't have that single someone that I share a BFF necklace with, but I would not trade the group of people I am friends with for a single person. In the end, I would rather have my group of friends I am equally close with than a single person I am close with.

Cover Image Credit: @avreyovard/Instagram

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10 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Hate Me For Being A Bad Texter

Don’t let my terrible messaging skills define how much I value our relationship/friendship.
Hanna Lee
Hanna Lee

1. I promise it’s not personal.

"It's not you, it’s me." But really though, it's one of my many faults. I promise I don't mean to do it.

2. I’m just better at talking when face to face.

You know that when we meet, I will spill my guts out and talk about everything and anything.

3. It’s just more natural for me to be present, in the moment than on my phone.

I literally have to TRY to stop and take time to reply. I don’t know how people can automatically message back. I genuinely believe it's a skill.

4. I even go 1-2 months without talking/messaging my own parents!

All my family members live very independent lives. We all do our own thing. Maybe it's the way I was raised?

5. Just because I’m a bad texter, you can’t say that I’m not intentional and that I don’t care.

I might not show my love and attention through how I message, but you know that I show it through other ways!

6. I'm incapable of messaging one person throughout the day, 24/7, all day.

Trust me, I've really tried. I can maybe get a maximum of one or two days of constant messaging, but then I'm back to normal.

7. Small talk on text is so hard for me.

Small talk in person is no problem. But when it comes to small talk on messages, I just can’t seem to keep the conversation going.

8. Feel free to call me.

I enjoy talking on the phone! It isn’t that I don’t find our conversations important when messaging, I just really suck at texting.

9. If it’s really urgent, I really really do try hard to text back as soon as possible.

If it's urgent, I'm there. But then again, if something is urgent, we should probably be calling.

10. I promise you are a very important person to me, even though we don’t message often.

Don’t let my terrible messaging skills define how much I value our relationship/friendship.

Trust me, it isn’t that I’m not trying enough, that I don’t find our conversations important, or that I don’t care enough. It’s just more natural for me to call or talk face to face. I’ve tried and tried to be a better texter but I'm incapable. I admit it, I’m a terrible texter. It's one of my many faults! Please don't hate me for it.

Cover Image Credit: Photo by Bence Boros on Unsplash
Hanna Lee
Hanna Lee

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