It's 2018 And It's Time To Prioritize Your Relationships

It's 2018 And It's Time To Prioritize Your Relationships

Even if we are late to the game.

Happy New Year!!! It is finally 2018 and it is time that we start to prioritize our relationships, focus on the important ones and get rid of the negative and toxic ones. Maybe you aren’t like me and you have already done this, but if you haven’t, it is time that you and I do this together. I realized that this was a need for 2018 after being in therapy for the last three months and finally learning that not all relationships are worth the hassle and you shouldn’t be the only one trying in the relationship.

The hardest part is choosing what relationships are worth fighting for and which ones aren’t worth fighting for. Trying to figure out who is toxic and who isn’t, I know this isn’t always the easiest and I am going to give you some tips on how to figure that out and while these may not apply to all toxic relationships it does apply to most of them.

Signs that the relationship is meant to be left in 2017 with everything else we all want to forget: the other person in the relationship is always trying to start problems for no reason, they make up lies just to start fights, they make you feel bad even when you have done nothing wrong, you always find yourself trying to justify yourself to them. These are just a few of the signs that your relationship is toxic. I don’t mean just relationships with a boyfriend or girlfriend I also mean friendships that are toxic and even friends that you think would never be toxic can be, never did I think that I would have a toxic relationship with my GBig in my sorority and she is the first toxic relationship I will be leaving in 2017.

You may think that this is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do because you might think they will change, reality check, they probably aren’t going to be changing anytime soon. I am also here to tell you that although it may seem like one of the hardest things in the world to do right now, you will be so much happier in the end because you no longer have this toxic relationship that you have to spend so much time on dragging you down, instead you can focus on your relationships that are the most important with the people who are going to support you and help you through your toughest spots even when you are being completely stupid and making mistakes.

Find your people who will hold your hand through all the bullshit, all the hard times and also all the wonderful times, find people who you can make memories with that when you look back at them in 10 years you are still able to laugh about it. Find someone you would want your future children to be friends with or to date. If you look at your friends and say I would never let my children be with people like you then maybe it’s time to reevaluate your relationships and start leaving some in 2017!

Here is to you, because you got this and you deserve so much better than that kind of toxicity in your life! Leave them in 2017 and go find yourself some new friends who are going to support your wildest dreams and be there even when you fall and hit rock bottom.

Cover Image Credit: Saksham Gangwar

Popular Right Now

Popular Right Now

Fall In Love With Jesus Before You Fall In Love With A Boyfriend

I promise, He will show you what real love looks like.

With the assumption that we’re all in college, it’s easy to say that us girls know the run down. The term “Ring By Spring” refers to when your friends are getting engaged and some are even starting families. The second you tell a friend you’re single, they give you 5 names of people they could set you up with. Of course it’s all with good intentions and out of love, but singleness has become something that people feel the need to cure, rather than support in this time of growth. It puts a tremendous amount of pressure on us single ladies, on something that we aren’t even in charge of.

Because it’s not our job to pick out our future spouses.

It’s God job. And guess what? He already has him picked out and he’s working on him this very second. He is being molded and shaped into loving God more than anything in this world. Never ever settle for any man who loves you more than Jesus (Sorry, I know we all love to be the center of attention). If he has Jesus at the center of his heart, he will try his hardest to love like Him, and there is not greater love than that. The guy is out there, and if you pray and delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).

Your only job right now is to love Jesus and be faithful.

He has it all under control, and there is nothing you need to worry about. I know how stressful it might be, seeing all your friends in relationships and starting their lives together. You might be asking God “When will it be my turn?” and then running your mind nonstop into thinking you’ll be by yourself forever, but know this, God places those dreams and desires to have a family and a relationship in your heart on purpose. Not everyone feels that way, and those are God-given needs that He gave specifically to you. So until he fulfills those desires, all you need to do is fall in love with Him first.

Let Him show you what true love really feels like.

Let Him guide you, and make you into the person you were meant to be. Let Him show you His unfailing love, that is never ending and steadfast. I know you might feel lonely, but now is the perfect moment to spend that free time with God. Talk to Him about how you feel, when you’re stuck being a third wheel, tired of being alone, or just frustrated in His timing. He has something to teach you in each of those moments, and you will grow in a new way because of it.

You will find that the love of Jesus fills you in a way that no relationship ever has, and it’s one of the most amazing feelings. His love will be overflowing, and you will find peace in knowing that He holds your heart and there is nothing for you to worry about. He has a plan and longs to see us happy and content. All we need to do is trust in Him, accept His love, and watch as His beautiful plan unfolds right in front of our eyes. Love Him first, and you'll be confident in knowing that you're ready to love someone else when the time comes.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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12 Dos and Don'ts To Help You Find Love On Tinder

7. DON’T respond to the horndogs.

“You met him on Tinder?" This shocked sentence is the typical response I get when I tell people about my boyfriend. Our one year anniversary was last October, and it all started with a Super Like. Yeah, believe it!

There's a lot of disillusionment with Tinder, the popular dating app known for one-night stands and unsolicited dick pics. Don't get me wrong, I've had my share of uncomfortable moments back when my Tinder account was active, so I understand why people are hesitant to use it. You're also meeting up with strangers, which comes with its own share of risks.

But from my experience, you can use Tinder for more than just rebound sex with a total rando (although if you want that, go for it!). Here are 12 Tinder dos and don'ts that will help you find love with the push of a red, fiery button.

1. DON'T overdo it with the full-body photos.

I'm all for body positivity, but remember that you're more than just legs, boobs, butt, or even a six-pack. One or two photos of you lounging on the beach in your favorite bikini or flexing post-workout is fine. If your whole profile is you scantily clad though, it might send out the wrong impression. To show you're looking for something more, keep your Tinder photos lowkey with some simple selfies or fun candids.

2. DO ask your matches thoughtful questions.

Here's a few to get you started (don't force them though— casually slip them into the conversation in your own way): “What's your major and why did you pick it?"; “What's your favorite movie and why?; “What's your dream job?"; “Where are your favorite places to hang out?" (This one's great because it leads to setting up a date!)

3. DON'T swipe right on shirtless bathroom selfies.

If there's something that screams “I'm shallow and insecure but please have sex with me," it's the shirtless bathroom selfie. Swiping right might benefit you if you're looking for a quickie in some guy's dorm room, but don't expect guys parading their bodies around to want a lasting relationship.

And to my guys looking for love, keep those shirts on! Seriously. Save that for the girl or guy of your dreams. Make a good impression with some basic photos of you looking your best — with clothing!

4. DO be upfront about what you're looking for.

All it takes is one question: “So what are you doing on Tinder?" Wait for their answer before revealing your intentions. My boyfriend was honest and said possibly a relationship. In the long run, honesty is the best policy, but don't make it weird! I remember one match who said, after two days of texting me, that he deleted his Tinder because he was “so sure of me"...yikes.

5. DON'T heavily edit your photos.

If the love of your life is swiping through Tinder, you want them to fall in love with who you really are. So, don't go overboard with the filters, airbrushing, tummy tucking, or makeup. You'll get matches who are way less superficial, which is a great trait for a partner to have.

6. DO have a sense of humor.

We all have one, and Tinder is the place to show it! By being funny, you can break the ice and see if your match has a similar taste in jokes. A sense of humor is so important for a lasting relationship.

7. DON'T respond to the horndogs.

The matches are coming in, and that cute guy Joe Tinder just slid in your DM's. You immediately open the app, excited and nervous. What did he say?

Joe Tinder: “damn girl, you're fine as f**k ;) wanna meet up?"

The King of Romance has swept you off your feet! Just kidding. Block him. We all know what he's looking for and it ain't love.

8. DO read bios before swiping.

This gives you conversation ideas and shows the person you care about more than just looks. It'll also give you a general feeling for whether you're compatible or not. Hopefully, there is a bio to read — if not, it might be another Joe the Tinder Creep situation.

9. DON'T send one-word messages.

You finally got a DM that wasn't outright asking for sex or “Hi." Congratulations! Now actually have a conversation. Saying “good" when they ask how your day was or “lol" to a joke won't cut it. Be interesting, but not fake. Be yourself!

10. DO talk about your passions.

Do you love music? Photography? Star Wars (my passion)? Let your Tinder matches know! Put some of your favorite ones in your bio. Your matches will likely bring them up and then you'll be free to reveal your geeky side.

11. DON'T meet up with someone the day you match.

Now that you found a guy or gal who you vibe with (at least online), I'm sure you're ready to take it to the next level. But hold on! You can't rush love. Take some time — a week or more — to get to know this person before you even meet up with them. You can learn a lot about someone from just texting them, like that they're not a 50-year-old man pretending to be Robert Tinder (Joe Tinder was the creep, remember?).

12. DO have fun and the rest will follow.

In the end, it all comes down to a little bit of luck, intuition, and the ability to open up to someone. Tinder is really just a bunch of regular lonely people looking for something to cure their loneliness. And sometimes, that thing is love after all. You never know! I didn't, and now I'm in love with a guy I met on an app.

Cover Image Credit: Duri from Mocup

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