Disclaimer: Always practice safe and consensual sex.

For those of you who don't know about kink and BDSM, BDSM is an acronym with several parts: bondage and discipline, dominance/submission, sadism and masochism. There are many sexual acts that can be placed under the umbrella term of BDSM, but I like to think of it mainly as acts that delve into pain, pleasure, control, and subjection.

Like many people, my awareness of BDSM started through the premiere of the "Fifty Shades of Grey" movie series in 2015. Though the movies are not necessarily an accurate depiction of the kink community in real life, it still helped me put a label on an aspect of sexuality that I felt but couldn't articulate.

For example, I used to feel a lot of gratification from getting shots at the doctor's office. I wouldn't necessarily say I got turned on from it, but the blurred lines between pleasure and pain made me feel ecstatic. While I don't go out of my way to experiment with needles, I do like to dabble between pleasure and pain in the bedroom. If you feel like this applies to you and you're curious on when to start, do it this December!

Here are 25 BDSM-related sex toys you can use with your partner to end 2019 with a bang:

1. Riding Crop

This is an absolute favorite of mine because it holds more power than it looks. Simply use it to spank your partner on their ass or legs.

2. Stainless Pinwheel

This toy may look intimidating. However, it’s great as a beginner toy if you’re interested in electro play. It provides a light pressure that enhances your sensations. One way to use it is to trace it lightly down your partner’s back while caressing another part of their body with your other hand or giving them kisses near the back of their neck or shoulders.

3. Adjustable Handcuffs

Of all the kink-related sex toys, this one is perhaps the most versatile in regards to how you use them. Your partner can be handcuffed from the back while standing up, bent over the bed or handcuffed in the front while lying on their back. Also, the possibilities of what you can do to them while they’re cuffed are endless!

4. Silicon Paddle

Like the riding crop, the silicon paddle is a great option for spanking, especially if you want more force and power.

5. Silicon Ball Gag

Part of the appeal of a ball gag is viewing your partner in a vulnerable state where they literally have their mouth full. I personally suggest wearing it right before giving a blow job so that it’s easier to generate a lot of spit beforehand.

6. Thigh Restraint Sling

After slipping the padded neck brace behind the neck, and slipping the thighs through the adjustable padded loops, you’re in the perfect position for rough sex.

7. Rope

Depending on what you plan on doing, rope can either be a good alternative for handcuffs as a restraint or you can go all out and practice Shibari (Japanese tope bondage) techniques.

8. Cock Ring

These adjustable rings fit around the base of the penis to restrict blood flow, making an erection last for longer and remain harder. The Screaming O rings have built-on clitoral stimulators attached to them so that the person with the vulva can get as much pleasure as well during face-to-face sex positions.

9. Satin Blindfold 

Sometimes, restricting one of your main senses such as sight will heighten the rest of them. It also leaves anticipation over what will happen next.

10. Silicon Nipple Suckers

Just place the suckers on your nipples and remove them after around 10 minutes. Afterward, have your partner stroke your nipples with licks or pinches and I promise you they'll be extra receptive to touch.

11. Bedroom Restraint Kit

You can attach your partner’s wrists and ankles with the restraint kit that attaches perfectly to the bed. It allows numerous ways to experiment especially if you like being both dominant and submissive.

12. Spreader Bar

If you’re interested in a toy that allows you to restrain your partner in multiple positions and allow deep penetration, then the spreader bar is the ultimate choice! It’s especially perfect during doggy and missionary!

13. Nipple Clamps

These chained, adjustable nipple clamps have silicon tips for a smooth sensation which is convenient for those who want a lighter touch rather than something over-bearing on their nipples.

14. Leather Braided Bull Whip

If impact play is your thing, having a leather braided flogger might be at the top of your BDSM wish list. The texture of it makes for the perfect stimulation from being spanked.

15. Sex Swing

All that’s required of you for this sex toy is to have a door and be able to lock it. Just drape the tubes over the top of the door, close the door and lock it so that the sex swing is secured. Then finally, you and your partner can have sex in a straddled position against the door.

16. Inflatable Support Pillow

No matter how rough or kinky the sex may get, being comfortable is still a top priority. This soft support pillow will not only help you feel comfy, but it'll give you that extra push to make sure you or your partner's pelvis is aligned perfectly for whatever position you're in.

17. Low Temperature Candles

Of course we can’t forget about wax play!

18. Versatile Strap-On Kit

This beginner's strap-on kit is both good for couples to use for vaginal and backdoor play. The silicone dildo attached is 5 inches.

19. Full Body Restraint Kit

Use these seven adjustable body straps to subdue your partner completely and take full control.

20. Feather Tickler

Use the feathers to caress neck, nipples, stomach, legs, and more parts of the body preferably while your partner is blindfolded.

21. Electro Play Wand

In need of a way to tame your bratty sub of a partner? Use this toy for a mild shock and increased sense of touch.

22. Double Cock Ring and Vibrating Butt Plug

Place the double cock ring at the base of your partner's penis, in front of and behind their balls for stronger erections. As the sensations run wild in the front, the butt plug goes for the kill in the back. There's also a vibrating bullet that sits at the clitoris during lovemaking.

23. Latex Fisting Gloves

No explanation necessary *wink* *wink*

24. Over-the-Door Wrist Restraints 

Similar to the way the sex swing works, just toss the material over the top of the door and then lock the door so that the restraints will stay in place. This works for those in the submissive role who prefer to be restrained while standing up against a surface.

25. Wooden Paddle

Anyone who's ever been struck by a wooden paddle knows how much it stings. Firmer and sharper than leather paddles, this wooden toy will leave your butt with feelings you'll NEVER forget... and probably some bruises too.


Overall, maybe the thought of being tied up excites you, or you enjoy spanking someone or being spanked. It's possible that you're more interested in other things like leather masks or nipple clamps or hot wax. These 25 objects can be used to explore the realm of kink and BDSM in the comfort of your own home without actually ever going to a fetish expo or sex dungeon.

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