I promise I'm not psychic. I just know how it is. If you're a fellow Bumble Bee, you know you've had these thoughts:

1. Did he really think leading with a picture of him and his dog would make me swipe right? Well, he got me.

2. Oh my God, a picture of him and a baby. My ovaries just exploded.


3. I’m convinced that Bumble is not a dating app... it’s a game. 

4. His jawline can cut a bitch. 

5. New dream destination: your abs.


6. I would love to not be the person that has to start this conversation right now.

7. My best friend swiped right on this guy so, naturally, I have to swipe left. 

8. He COOKS?! Automatic keeper.


9. One day I’m hoping the real Zac Efron or Jake Gyllenhaal will magically appear on here. 

10. Imagine finding your husband on here and having to explain this to your kids and grandkids…

11. Do guys really think girls are going to swoon over a picture of them with a cigar in their mouth?


12. Is every guy on here named Jake? 

13. Alright. That’s it. I’m swiping right for the cat. 

14. Hold up: Is this a mugshot?


15. I’m crossing my fingers while swiping right for this one because I pray to God he’s a match.

16. Bumble is my new favorite sport. 

17. You’re probably a f*ckboy, but let’s swipe right just for the hell of it.


18. This guy only has pictures of him with other guys so I can’t tell which one he even is. Your loss, buddy.

19. Why do guys feel the need to put up pictures with a bunch of girls around them?

20. There is no way this guy is 25 years old.


21. Wow! I’ve never seen The Vessel before!

22. OK, he probably doesn’t even know the girls in this picture. 

23. Oh, GOD, I did not just see this kid from my middle school on here, did I?


24. Congratulations! You’ve been to a famous landmark outside of our country. 

25. Ugh, that V-line though.

26. These cheesy pick-up lines are getting old really fast. 

27. For the billionth time, I’m just going to write: “hey ;)”


28. Another cat picture? Thank God.

29. Men… in… uniform… though. 

30. Beer cans, red cups, and cigars, oh my!


31. A picture of him and his mom: family man or mama’s boy?

32. You Juul? Incredible! Say no more, I’m ready to get married. 

33. This guy looks way too much like my ex.


34. Damn it, I swiped the wrong way. 

35. This swiping is getting pretty addicting. 

36. What am I actually doing on here?


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