8 Promises About F*ckboys We Should All Try Our Hardest To Keep But Will Likely Break In The New Year

8 Promises About F*ckboys We Should All Try Our Hardest To Keep But Will Likely Break In The New Year

It's the thought that counts, right?
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I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. If you want to see change in your life, why do you need to wait for the beginning of a new year?

However, with the start of my final semester of undergrad coinciding with the start of 2018, I figured now is the best time to make a few promises to myself.

1. I'll stop waiting for texts that will never come

You know how it goes. You make plans earlier that night and are waiting for confirmation that they're still planning on coming or are on their way over. They get your hopes up either to eventually ghost you or drunkenly call and wake you at 3 AM. Either way, no boy is worth the lack of sleep anymore.

2. I'll be wearier about what he says and how he says it

F*ckboys know a thing or two about sweet talking and ambiguity. No matter your level of expertise when it comes to dealing with these types of guys, we all fall victim to their initial charm. Be careful, and realize when he's playing you so you can call him on his bullsh*t.

3. I'll gain the courage to go out on dates rather than give excuses to avoid them

Now just because they take you out on a date doesn't mean they're not still f*ckboys; trust me. However, if he's willing to put in the effort to get to know you mentally and emotionally rather than just physically, there's a chance he's at least somewhat decent.

4. I won't annoy my friends about my f*ckboy problems when I put myself in those situations

Shout out to everyone who's had to listen to my ridiculously dumb problems, many of which I put myself into. I'll try to be better about it this year.

5. I won't tell my friends about any new boys unless they last longer than one month

Let's just save some time and a few dozen texts to ten different people about a boy who will ghost me after a week, yeah?

6. Similarly, I won't get attached to or idealize any new boys unless they last longer than one month

Most f*ckboys drop like flies after week 3, so I really don't understand why I idealize them before that point. You'd think after all this time I'd know better.

7. I'll stop putting a f*ckboy's needs and happiness before mine

One more time for the people in the back (AKA me because I'll need to be reminded of this like every day). Like my mom, I often strive to make others' lives easier and brighter even if it makes mine harder. Over the years, I've put immense effort into people who wouldn't do the same for me. This year, that changes.

8. I'll stop seeing f*ckboys

HAHAHA OK, I know this one is kind of unrealistic, but it's the thought that counts, right?

Here's to potential success in keeping these promises this coming year! Odds I can keep them for longer than one month?

Cover Image Credit: Instagram | nick__bateman

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Look, I Don't Want Your Boy, But 'break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored' Makes Me Feel Incredible

It makes me feel empowered. It makes me feel my best.

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I have seen so many thoughts and complaints that Ariana Grande's new song, "break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored" is shallow.

Some are even saying, "this song just perpetuates everything that is wrong with dating and relationships in society today."

But, girl, I have to disagree.

You see, just because I sing this song at the top of my lungs in both my dorm's shower and alone in my car, I am not going to steal anyone's boyfriend.

I am simply pretending like I am some kind of bad chick that no one should mess with but in reality, I apologize for walking in someone's direction.

And, let's say, if I were to say something lighthearted or friendly to him and he responds with actions that propose cheating, he wasn't a good boyfriend in the first place.

Listen, girls: stop being so insecure.

You have a boyfriend. He loves you. He chose you. If another girl comes by and his eyes dart her way, his heart wasn't in it all the way.

Not everything is deeper than the skin.

Now, let me be clear, I am not saying that it's OK for girls to go around and try to steal boyfriends. Actually, that's a pretty trashy move that no one should attempt. I know it happens, though. I know it is everyone's worst fear.

However, there is no life living within fear of rejection and being left. If those are the things that linger in the back of your mind, you will never taste the freedom of living.

Truly living.

So am I a bad person, considering that 'break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored' is my anthem?

It makes me feel empowered. It makes me feel my best.

So no, just listening to Ari's new bop doesn't make me a bad person or a boyfriend stealer.

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7 Tiny Things College Dudes Do That Give Off Major Small Dick Energy

If you exhibit any of these signs, re-evaluate yourself and your choices.

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If you don't know what "small dick energy" means, let me give you the Urban Dictionary definition: "someone who shows off masculinity by being cocky, showing off, overly confident to overcompensate their 4.2 inch fully erect dick."

If you're afraid you might have this tragic disease: let me explain some of the key symptoms:

1. Adding girls you don't know on any social media platform just because you think they're hot.

I never thought friend requests could be so annoying.

2. Messaging said girls with some stupid pick-up-line to start a conversation.

What is this? Tinder?

3. Getting mad and aggressive when said girls don't message you back.

Kristyn Park

Bonus points for calling them mean names!

4. Getting even angrier when they do message back saying they're not interested.

Your insecurity isn't sexy.

5. Putting others down or not treating others with respect.

If you can't be polite to your servers or other customer service employees, you are the epitome of small dick energy.

6. Cornering girls at bars or parties and making them obviously uncomfortable.

If she doesn't seem interested in the conversation, she's not interested in you. Take a hint and walk away.

7. Any sort of forcefulness, pressure, or prejudice coming from a guy as he's talking to a girl.

BIG indicators of small dick energy and also toxic masculinity!



Now look, I know it sounds like I'm being a bitch, but let me tell you that I, and every other female on this planet regardless of race, sexuality, or anything that differentiates us, has been a victim of men with small dick energy. And it's not fucking cute anymore. In fact, it never was. If anything, it's uncomfortable, it's annoying, and it's concerning.

A girl is not a bitch, a slut, a loser, or any other name you want to throw at her if she doesn't like your advances. Calling her that is probably going to make her want to suck your (small) dick even less than before, if possible. We don't know you, and even if we did, we don't owe you anything. And if your first reaction to rejection is name-calling and blatant aggression, then you are likely a toxic person as it is who's got some deep-seated anger issues that you should probably take care of. And if you think that treating someone like that is okay and don't see anything wrong with that, then you might just be a psychopath, honestly.

Have some class and self-respect, guys, and leave the #smalldickenergy back in 2018.

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