8 Reasons You Need To Have A Hoe Phase For At Least A Semester

8 Reasons You Need To Have A Hoe Phase For At Least A Semester

What are you waiting for?
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Ah, hookup culture. You basically either love or hate it. There really isn't much wiggle room. Before my freshman year of college, I had absolutely no intention of joining the hookup culture. In fact, I thought it was dumb and an unsafe waste of time. Two years later, I decided to take part in this lifestyle, and although sometimes I might put myself in some sus situations (oops), it's arguably one of the best decisions I've ever made, and here's why.

1. You'll probably never be surrounded by as many people ever again

College is your oyster! When will you ever be among over 40,000 people for more than a few days again? Take advantage of the diversity and step outside of your comfort zone. You never know who you'll find.

2. You learn a lot about yourself and your preferences

A hoe phase teaches you a lot. You learn what works best for you, what doesn't, and what you want in a partner. The whole point is to use this time to experiment and come to better understand yourself, and trust me, you'll do just that.

3. You'll meet people you otherwise might not have

I used to be pretty closed off and shy when it came to meeting new people, which is such a shame because in the past year alone, I've gotten to know some of the most inspiring, hardworking individuals and hear some of the most heartbreaking stories. My hoe phase has made me so much more self-confident and less shy, and sure, that's great for meeting potential new hookups, but it's also an invaluable life skill.

4. You'll know enough f*ckboys to last you two lifetimes

One of the hookup culture's biggest flaws is the somehow implied idea that boys need to be jerks. At this point, I've just learned to embrace it because surprisingly there is ONE benefit.

5. You get really good at reading boys

The ONLY good thing about constantly dealing with these f*ckboys is that you get really good at reading them. They're all cut from the same cloth; never think otherwise. Your ability to notice f*ckboy tendencies will skyrocket after just a few months of being in your hoe phase. You'll be a pro in no time, and it's honestly one of the best skills to have during this time in your life.

6. It's networking at its finest

OK, this is kind of a joke, but also kind of not really. I've met so many people through my hookups that I definitely wouldn't have even crossed paths with otherwise. I'm actually shocked. Who needs LinkedIn? (Definitely joking.)

7. You learn to stop tolerating the bullsh*t boys throw at you

It's never been in my nature to be anything other than straightforward, so I'm not afraid to call people out for doing sh*t I don't like. F*ckboys will test you on every single level. Your patience will grow thinner with each boy, and eventually, you'll learn the invaluable skill of calling people on out their f*ckery before it's too late. Don't take sh*t from anyone, honey.

8. The stories are priceless

I can confidently say that my years in college would not have been nearly as exciting, heartbreaking, or aggravating if I didn't go through my hoe phase. Arguably, I'd be a little saner and my friends and I could've avoided thousands of useless rants, but I don't regret anything. My hoe phase has definitely shaped me, and I have enough laughs for years.


Don't knock it 'til you try it. Sure, a hoe phase isn't for everyone, but it can be as short or long as you want, so if you've ever needed a reason to give it a try, here are eight. What are you waiting for?

(Note: Safe and consensual sex is the best sex. Never be afraid to speak up or seek help if you are uncomfortable or believe you are in danger.)

Cover Image Credit: Instagram

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I Am A Hopeless Romantic Living In A World Where One-Night Stands Are The Norm

It's the little things.

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In today's society, it can certainly start to feel like no one takes love seriously anymore.

Whether it's that one couple who has broken up and gotten back together more times than you can count, the two friends-with-benefits no one can figure out, your local womanizer, or just hookups in general, love and lust are a huge part of specifically college life and culture.

As a hopeless romantic, being part of a generation that "just wants to have fun" can be really frustrating, especially when you just want to find something real. It is so easy for people to put on a fake act just to get what they want and sometimes this can be extremely hard to see through. I'm sure we've all had some kind of incident with someone who played nice but had ulterior motives and the sad truth is that it can be impossible to recognize a person's artificiality.

I am a hopeless romantic.

I have always classified myself as such, and it has remained true. Sure, I can make the most of the freedoms I have as a single college woman, but deep down I just want to find my person.

I've had my fair share of letdowns, and I think we all have, but being a hopeless romantic makes it that much more difficult to get past the "what ifs" and fantasies that come along with starting something with someone new. We may already have our hearts set on a person when they decide they've gotten what they wanted and leave.

For me, I find myself caught up in the little things that someone does. I have always been someone who picks up on small details in situations, and sometimes this works against me.

I pick up on the small facial expressions that he may not even realize he is making; the ones that tell you when their guard has been let down, even just for a split second.

I pick up on the way he sits our two cellphones side by side on the nightstand, taking care to line them up perfectly as if that's just their spot.

I pick up on the short moments of laughter where he actually lets himself laugh and forgets about the act.

I pick up on things, and sometimes I end up hurting because of it.

When it comes down to it, though, I wouldn't change the way that I am. I wouldn't change the fact that I find myself in the search for more in a society that mostly only offers me less.

The trait that tends to hurt me most is also the one that I value most. Even if noticing all the little things is something that contributes to my own heartache, I love those moments. There is something beautiful about those tiny things shared by two people, even if the connection ends there.

Sure, it can be hard. But so can everything.

It's just a matter of finding the beauty.

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5 Movie Sex Scenes That Would Never Go Down Like That In Real Life

There's a lot of time, scripts, makeup, and lights that are involved in these scenes that make them what they are, unlike the sex that happens in real life.

Dr King
Dr King
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When I was a child, my idea of sex was confined to what I saw in the media — two people rolling around underneath the sheets of their bed. I didn't understand what was going on at the time until my parents had the birds and the bees talk with me, but still, sex was not something that was discussed regularly in any setting so I couldn't help but use the movies and television as my main source for sex education. When I was a teenager, I started watching rom-coms so my idea of sex expanded to a scenario where two people who loved each other effortlessly fall into a euphoric experience and then they live happily ever after.

Then something about the idea I had changed as I watched the series premiere of "Secret Life of the American Teenager," a popular teen drama from ABC family about a girl who struggles with being a mother in high school. One of the first and most memorable scenes of the show is when Amy Juergens talks to her best friends about what it was like to have sex for the first time. Her friends were ecstatic for her at first until she revealed her dismay, telling them "I didn't exactly realize what was happening until, like, after two seconds, and then it was just over. And it wasn't fun and definitely not like what you see in the movies, you know, all romantic and stuff."

I heard those words and was immediately taken aback. As a 13-year-old, sex wasn't on my mind much, but I couldn't help but hope that I could experience the magic I saw on screen. Then eight years later I have sex for the first time and I realized that what she said was right...not about the part about it not being fun, but more-so about the part that sex is not actually like what is depicted in the movies.

Here are five examples in movies that created unrealistic sex scenes for its viewers:

1. "Skyfall"



This steamy scene between Bond and Severine make shower sex look passionate and trouble-free, but do its expectations match reality? No. What they don't show you is the sting from the water getting into your eyes, the awkward positions your bodies have to accommodate with if there's a significant height difference between you and your partner and the fact that water is a terrible substitute for lube because it strips away the natural lubrication your genitals produce.

2. "No Strings Attached"



Sometimes there are those moments when you want to have sex, but you don't have that much time on your hands so you have to fit in a quick session before work in the morning, in between classes, or right before the kids come back home. Though Natalie Portman's "O" face is spot on, the main thing that makes her quickie with Ashton Kutcher's unrealistic is that she still manages to climax after 45 seconds without any kind of foreplay, lube, or toys involved. The female orgasm is still possible during a quickie, but in real life, there will still have to be creative measures involved so that enough stimulation outside of penetration is involved to get her warmed up.

3. "Fifty Shades of Grey"



As much as I enjoyed the playfulness behind Ana and Christian dipping ice cream on each other's bodies and licking it off each other, I couldn't help but roll my eyes at how over exaggerated it became. Yes, I understand that when something feels good, a moan or some type of vocalization will happen, but getting some kisses and licks on your thighs isn't going to have you arching your back like a demon going through an exorcism.

4. "Mr. & Mrs. Smith"



Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's chemistry and passion in this scene is undeniable and it almost makes you want to start a fight with your partner just so you two can have some hot, angry sex just like them. Here's the problem though. They go from nearly killing each other to being boo'ed up like nothing happened. While angry sex can be a way for some couples to express emotions through adrenaline, it isn't the answer to our problems and shouldn't be a substitute for healthy communication.

5. "Titantic"



The moment in the movie when Kate Winslet's hand slams against the door of the car and drifts down as we stare at her steamy handprint and secretly wish we were sleeping with Leonardo DiCaprio will always be a classic. However, this scene is still a scam for those who hope car sex is as passionate and heartfelt as that. Truth be told, there's limited space to feel comfortable so leg cramps are inevitable and sliding against leather feels awful on your skin. To top things off, if you aren't careful enough, you may get caught by the police and ultimately have to register as a sex offender depending on your state's laws.

I truly hope for the day that sex in the media is represented in more of a realistic way, but until then, we just have to remember to take movies for what they are. Acting. There's a lot of time, scripts, makeup, and lights that are involved in these scenes that make them what they are, unlike the sex that happens in real life. As a matter of fact, sometimes sex isn't romantic. Sometimes it's not a fairy tale. There are times when it can be mind-blowing and other times when it's awkward, funny, or simply not what we expect. Do I appreciate fictional sex? Of course. But mainstream entertainment should also take the time to show us more than the sex we supposedly fantasize about and also show us sex that we can look at and see ourselves.

Dr King
Dr King

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