8 Reasons You Need To Have A Hoe Phase For At Least A Semester

8 Reasons You Need To Have A Hoe Phase For At Least A Semester

What are you waiting for?
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Ah, hookup culture. You basically either love or hate it. There really isn't much wiggle room. Before my freshman year of college, I had absolutely no intention of joining the hookup culture. In fact, I thought it was dumb and an unsafe waste of time. Two years later, I decided to take part in this lifestyle, and although sometimes I might put myself in some sus situations (oops), it's arguably one of the best decisions I've ever made, and here's why.

1. You'll probably never be surrounded by as many people ever again

College is your oyster! When will you ever be among over 40,000 people for more than a few days again? Take advantage of the diversity and step outside of your comfort zone. You never know who you'll find.

2. You learn a lot about yourself and your preferences

A hoe phase teaches you a lot. You learn what works best for you, what doesn't, and what you want in a partner. The whole point is to use this time to experiment and come to better understand yourself, and trust me, you'll do just that.

3. You'll meet people you otherwise might not have

I used to be pretty closed off and shy when it came to meeting new people, which is such a shame because in the past year alone, I've gotten to know some of the most inspiring, hardworking individuals and hear some of the most heartbreaking stories. My hoe phase has made me so much more self-confident and less shy, and sure, that's great for meeting potential new hookups, but it's also an invaluable life skill.

4. You'll know enough f*ckboys to last you two lifetimes

One of the hookup culture's biggest flaws is the somehow implied idea that boys need to be jerks. At this point, I've just learned to embrace it because surprisingly there is ONE benefit.

5. You get really good at reading boys

The ONLY good thing about constantly dealing with these f*ckboys is that you get really good at reading them. They're all cut from the same cloth; never think otherwise. Your ability to notice f*ckboy tendencies will skyrocket after just a few months of being in your hoe phase. You'll be a pro in no time, and it's honestly one of the best skills to have during this time in your life.

6. It's networking at its finest

OK, this is kind of a joke, but also kind of not really. I've met so many people through my hookups that I definitely wouldn't have even crossed paths with otherwise. I'm actually shocked. Who needs LinkedIn? (Definitely joking.)

7. You learn to stop tolerating the bullsh*t boys throw at you

It's never been in my nature to be anything other than straightforward, so I'm not afraid to call people out for doing sh*t I don't like. F*ckboys will test you on every single level. Your patience will grow thinner with each boy, and eventually, you'll learn the invaluable skill of calling people on out their f*ckery before it's too late. Don't take sh*t from anyone, honey.

8. The stories are priceless

I can confidently say that my years in college would not have been nearly as exciting, heartbreaking, or aggravating if I didn't go through my hoe phase. Arguably, I'd be a little saner and my friends and I could've avoided thousands of useless rants, but I don't regret anything. My hoe phase has definitely shaped me, and I have enough laughs for years.


Don't knock it 'til you try it. Sure, a hoe phase isn't for everyone, but it can be as short or long as you want, so if you've ever needed a reason to give it a try, here are eight. What are you waiting for?

(Note: Safe and consensual sex is the best sex. Never be afraid to speak up or seek help if you are uncomfortable or believe you are in danger.)

Cover Image Credit: Instagram

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Hello, I'm 24, And Yes, I'm A Virgin — And Yes, I'll Answer All Of Your Redundant Questions At Once

You read that correctly.

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"What? Are you serious?"

"Wait a minute, there is no way you are telling me the truth."

"How are you still a virgin? Are you religious? Are you waiting for marriage? Why haven't you had sex yet? That's just so crazy..."

Welcome to my world.

First, let me introduce myself again. Hi there, my name is Reanna, I'm a 24-year-old writer and also a virgin, how do you do? The first thing in that sentence is the V word, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Now that isn't something I start going and telling people, trust me it's the last thing I want to do. I get bombarded with almost every single question up above and I hate answering it every time. The only time I decide to share it is if someone asks me something along the lines of sex or when I can't offer my opinion.

It's a little-known fact that I tend to hide from people but not anymore. Let the world know, is it's any of their business but guess what? I'm not the only one out there. It's nothing to be ashamed of, I'm certainly not. What bothers me most is when people start questioning it and looking at me like I'm crazy.

Fine, I'll answer your simple questions above.

Yes, I said I was a virgin. Yes, again, I'm dead serious. I'm telling you the truth, why lie? I'm still a virgin because I choose to be. No, I'm not religious. I don't want to ever get married so I'm not waiting for marriage. Again, I just haven't found the guy to have sex with and it is still my choice. Think it's crazy, just don't judge me.

Sex is sex, what's the big problem here?

If I choose not to sleep with a guy, I have the right to it. I have the right to be a virgin until I decide it is the best time not to be anymore. I already know I shocked you by the title but why should you be so shocked? Is it because most people lose their virginity in high school? Is it usually to their first boyfriend?

Nothing separates me from you.

You don't need to laugh or really comment on the sentence. If I'm a virgin, I'm a virgin. If you are not, then you're not. If you are, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's a strange situation to be in when people look at you like you are an alien from a different planet. People get so surprised as if you just said you came from Mars.

Maybe this is my experience but I'm in no rush to have sex.

There comes a day when it may happen but I'm not rushing to find the one so to speak. Until then, I'm glad this is off my chest and I'm glad for you to know that. You know why? Because any guy you tell that to is desperate to change your mind, trust me. If you can't respect it, why should I be the one you sleep with?

So guys here is a complete tip: If a girl tells you she is a virgin, don't act so shocked, don't act so surprised.

Nod your head, respect the choice and move on. It's as simple as that.

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What It's Like Being A 20-Year-Old Virgin In The 21st Century

For now, I wait. And that is perfectly okay.
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Sex. The topic we only spoke of in hushed tones in the past has quickly become a part of our everyday interactions. It seems to be the center of our motivations, thoughts, actions, and feelings. This is the reason I don't feel uncomfortable dedicating this week's article to the subject. Now, mom and dad, if you're reading this, I won't be offended if you stop. I'd actually be quite happy. Everybody else, do me a favor and ask yourself this:

What does it mean to be a virgin in today's society?

There is a social stigma associated with being a virgin. We're all prudes, are mega-religious, and have never even thought about what it would be like to share a night with Ryan Gosling. Right? Wrong. I promise you the majority of virgins you'll meet are virgins by choice - not because their moms have them chained to a metal post with their legs strapped shut. I've been racking my brain about questions and concerns and the million-dollar-question I have for y'all is: If it's no big deal to have sex, then why is it a big deal not to have sex? I mean really, whose business is it anyway?

I feel the criticism from my own doctor at times. She'd ask, "Are you sexually active?" I'd respond with a lightening fast "No", which she'd follow with a quick sigh and an even quicker response, "Have you ever been sexually active?" Unreal.

In a culture so consumed by "Netflix and chill" and the infamous right swipe, it's hard not to constantly wonder when (and with who) my time will come. It's almost like we're racing against the clock of chastity. I wonder if Marie Curie, Rosa Parks, or Amelia Earhart worried about who'd swipe their V-card as much as I do? Probably not, they were too busy making the world a better place.

I can't go a day without hearing about sex, talking about sex, or honestly... thinking about sex (sorry, dad). I remember a time when it was "shocking" to discover anybody was having sex and now it's "shocking" to discover anybody isn't. The reactions I get when people discover I still hold the key to my innocence aren't only mildly insulting but sad. When did it become shameful to be a virgin? I'm only 20 years old. I've only lived 1/4 of my life and in no means do I feel rushed to get down and dirty.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't plan for my life to go this way. Shocker, but my Magic 8-Ball didn't prepare me for this. I am a huge supporter of doing what you want, when you want, and with whom you want to do it with. Hell, half of my friends aren't virgins and I'm happy for them. They were with someone they loved (or at least liked) and made a choice. I've made a choice too. I am evolving with the world around me and taking life one wine bottle at a time. I don't want to settle for less than I deserve. I want somebody who loves me, respects me, and understands where I'm coming from.

I'm prepared to deal with the douchebags and the nobody losers who can't deal with the decision I've made equally as much as I'm prepared to meet the guy who can.

For now, I wait. And that is perfectly okay.

Cover Image Credit: Bustle

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