First of all, to the women reading this, know you are beautiful and worthy of respect and love. No man should ever make you feel like less than what you are.
Recently, I had been seeing this guy for about two weeks straight, like hanging 24/7. We went to college parties, bars, he even met my friends, we had multiple sleepovers, the whole thing. I kept thinking we were sprinting towards a relationship or — worse — breakup because it was all too good to be true.
Sadly, the latter option became my reality. Upon leaving for my European vacation, I told this guy I would miss him, and he said the same. Yet, upon arriving in Europe, I felt a vibe shift and he sent me a text saying how he didn't want to hurt me, but he doesn't want to date or be in a relationship.
This was somewhat devastating because I wasn't thinking of a relationship, but I had decided I liked this guy, so my self-esteem and self-worth began to crumble.
Why was I not enough or good enough for someone to want something with me?
Well, after having a moment or two to grieve what could have been and accept the fact this boy was walking out of my life, I decided to change my mindset. I was determined I could get over him in less time than we had been talking. With this mental shift, I begin to develop a gameplan for getting over him.
Here are the steps I took that helped me move forward:
1. Make plans and go out.
I happened to be abroad, so I immediately booked a hostel pub crawl! I cannot stress how amazing it is to be on a trip to get over a guy! While I did not plan this, I 100 percent believe after getting your heartbroken, you should take a trip or do something fun to get your mind off of things.
2. Embrace the time with friends.
I do not condone alcohol usage to deal with problems, but it is nice to go out or go drinking with friends and just have a good time! If you usually were studying or chilling in your house with a guy, then try going out with friends to keep your mind off things.
3. Find a rebound.
Whether it be a rebound date, a hookup, a casual fling, or whatever, a rebound does really help make you not only feel like you still got it, but also like it was your ghoster's loss!
4. Choose gratitude.
Above all, though, the most important thing to help get you over a guy is your attitude. While some girls want to go out and get a rebound, some just want to find their self-esteem and worth again without having to go on seemingly desperate escapades. The way to get over a guy is to change your attitude and feelings about him! While it may seem hard, channel your negative emotions into emotions of gratitude. This is hard. But, when you think of the guy ghosting you as doing you a favor instead of an injustice, you will slowly begin to move on. Imagine the guy ghosting you actually removed himself from your life because he knew he wasn't the one and was making your life open to accept the one for you to come into your life. The key to moving on is gratitude. With this new mindset, I have been able to not only get over this guy but also help other girls.
5. Remember what you deserve.
After being broken up with or ghosted, many girls lose their confidence and self-esteem. With this being said, the key to moving on 100 percent from a guy is also based on you developing your own self-worth and self-respect. Like, why do you want someone who doesn't want you? You are too amazing and beautiful to waste time on someone who does not give you the respect or value that you deserve.
6. Rediscover your passions.
The best way to find yourself after being ghosted or going through a breakup is to re-discover your passions! Start doing things you love, like art, sports, reading, etc. Listen to your favorite music! Continue to develop your friend group and find your main girls. Find an activity to do to replace the time you and your guy would spend together. For example, you could meditate or reflect on yourself instead of texting or snapping him!
7. Show him you're doing just fine without him.
Maybe take some bomb pics of yourself and post them up on Instagram!
Girls, just know you are worthy and are still amazing even if the guy you think you want decides to walk out!
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