Some may disagree, but I know many will agree that an "almost relationship" ending hurts the soul quite a bit more than breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend. I believe these types of breakups happen more than regular ones. And from my experience, some of these almost relationships still haunt me slightly to this day.
I guess you could say that I'm a relationship type of girl. I enjoy having someone who I know I can count on and go on dates with at the same time. Though it's very hard for me to commit for some reason and I really have no idea why. I've had my fair share of heartbreaks and I know I've broken some hearts here and there as well. I've never really been single before. I've been officially single for almost five months which is the longest I've been single since my sophomore year of high school and I am now a junior in college.
I've had two long-term boyfriends and little things with other guys here and there. And for some reason, the things which are the almost relationships hurt me more than the boys who I've fully committed to. Possibly, the worst feeling is when the person on the other end ended it with you and then later you see them with someone as boyfriend and girlfriend. And I catch myself thinking why?
Why wasn't I good enough for them to be their girlfriend? What does she have that I didn't? Why didn't he talk to me like he talks to her?
The feeling of an unfinished project rubs everyone the wrong way. But then you start to think if you can even mourn over something that was never "official." Even if you were the one that ended it. It's crazy how you two can do so much together... from having sleepovers, dates, meeting each other's parents and then one day, it just ends.
The main reason why these hurt me is because I never know if I'm ready to give all of myself to someone. I have had strong feelings for someone and where it felt like we were in a relationship, but I wasn't sure if I actually wanted a relationship. And it's unfair to me and the other person if I'm not sure what I truly want and vice versa.
Although you two never had the title of "boyfriend and girlfriend," sometimes those memories of being carefree with someone you liked and had an enjoyable time with will come up and visit your mind. And yes they'll hurt, but if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. That's all they will be... memories, and we can learn from them.
Love is patient and takes time... no need to rush into something you're not fully ready to commit to.
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