I Got Burned By So Many Fuckboys That I've Turned Into A Fuckgirl

I Got Burned By So Many Fuckboys That I've Turned Into A Fuckgirl

I lied because he seemed like a guy I personally didn't want to lose either, and figured maybe I would realize he was the kind of guy I should be with.

Elle Hong
Elle Hong
1338
views

Fuckboys. You love them, you hate them, but hey it's ok to admit it—they're the jerks you love to hate, but love to fuck even more.

And if there's anything that I realized over the years regarding my dating life, it's that I'm a attracting magnet for fuckboys and I have an intriguing fascination over them.

Smash and dash, hit it and quit it, you name it. Your relationship with him isn't going to go any further than outside the boundaries of the bedroom. Because he will say all these romantic things to butter you up, text you Good morning beautiful and treat you like his one and only babygirl but once he gets what he wants, it's adios for good.

So don't EVER catch feelings for one of them, because if you do, you will swing open the gates of hell to your fate. And if you're afraid you'll start falling for one of them, it's time to build up a emotional fort around your heart before he shoots bullets right into it.

But here's the convenience of fuckboys: You use them, they use you.

If you're trying to get over your ex by getting under someone else, some fuckboy is always willing to show up at your doorstep at a moment's notice.

You don't need to go on cheesy movie-and-dinner kind of dates with them.

You don't need to act all cute and pretty next to them because they honestly could care less.

All you need is a good amount of trust, a slight "beginner-level" friendship, and then some basic math of adding a bed, subtracting the clothes and dividing of the legs.

But what happens when the gender roles are reversed here and you find yourself acting like…a fuckgirl?

Allow me to explain.

Recently, I came upon this type of guy who my best friend and I would characterize as a "churchboy".

Goody two shoes, a nerdy personality with a STEM degree to accompany with it, my parent's quintessential son-in-law dreams. You get the picture.

There was nothing wrong with the way he treated me or acted around me, other than this random high five he asked for when we first met in person (he thought would be a great way to introduce himself). But he was a good guy, I swear. Maybe a little too good for my liking.

But man—talk about the case of meeting the right guy at the WRONG time.

Like any "good" guy, he was seeking the real deal. Looking for a serious relationship, someone he could take on dates and buy presents for. He and I had these compelling, thought-provoking conversations and we always talked about the future, perhaps our future together.

I mean, we're roughly the same age (technically he was two years older) but this dude was really looking for wifey material in me, and if you want me to be completely blunt—that's exactly what I hated about him.

But I led him on.

I led him on to believe that I also wanted a serious relationship with him when truthfully, I didn't, because I enjoyed my independence and the carefree nature of being "uncuffed" where I didn't have to be held down.

I lied to him because I didn't want to hurt his feelings or try to make him feel like he wasn't enough for me.

I also lied because he seemed like a guy I personally didn't want to lose either, and I figured maybe after I roamed around a bit longer, I would realize he was the kind of guy I should be with (instead of the all the fuckboys I messed around with) and we would live happily ever after.

So maybe that's why I constantly cancelled plans on him, with that usual "I'm so busy this weekend with finals coming up" excuse.

Or ignored his texts throughout the day, only to text him that I missed him while I walked a block from campus to my friend with benefit's apartment to do the nasty nasty.

All the fake promises I made, all the things I did/said to him—they resembled what every fuckboy had done to me in previous relationships.

I made him believe that he was the only guy I was seeing, that I was going to go out of my way to see him this weekend, that he looked really cute in that snapchat he just sent me…

But he deserved better than that type of treatment and he deserved a girl much better than me.

I’m not proud in any way to admit this, but all I was doing was leaving him out on my back burner hoping he would understand how much I enjoyed my rebellious stage and wait until I was ready to settle down.

Turns out, you can't eat your cake and have it too.

Eventually, he confronted me and we ended things on a pretty bad note. That whole I-Never-Want-To-Talk-To-You-Ever-Again situation which only makes you feel more and more guilty.

And as I looked into the mirror the night he gave me that ultimatum, I saw this image of a fuckgirl looking back at me. Because I always used to break down emotionally from the things fuckboys had done to me in the past but this time, I was doing the hurting and the game playing.

Fuckboys taught me to admit devotion and love even if I didn't really mean it.

Fuckboys taught me to hold up barriers around my heart and to avoid catching feelings.

They taught me to value my independence but at the same time, they transformed me into a fuckgirl.

Elle Hong
Elle Hong

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I Am A Hopeless Romantic Living In A World Where One-Night Stands Are The Norm

It's the little things.

8703
views

In today's society, it can certainly start to feel like no one takes love seriously anymore.

Whether it's that one couple who has broken up and gotten back together more times than you can count, the two friends-with-benefits no one can figure out, your local womanizer, or just hookups in general, love and lust are a huge part of specifically college life and culture.

As a hopeless romantic, being part of a generation that "just wants to have fun" can be really frustrating, especially when you just want to find something real. It is so easy for people to put on a fake act just to get what they want and sometimes this can be extremely hard to see through. I'm sure we've all had some kind of incident with someone who played nice but had ulterior motives and the sad truth is that it can be impossible to recognize a person's artificiality.

I am a hopeless romantic.

I have always classified myself as such, and it has remained true. Sure, I can make the most of the freedoms I have as a single college woman, but deep down I just want to find my person.

I've had my fair share of letdowns, and I think we all have, but being a hopeless romantic makes it that much more difficult to get past the "what ifs" and fantasies that come along with starting something with someone new. We may already have our hearts set on a person when they decide they've gotten what they wanted and leave.

For me, I find myself caught up in the little things that someone does. I have always been someone who picks up on small details in situations, and sometimes this works against me.

I pick up on the small facial expressions that he may not even realize he is making; the ones that tell you when their guard has been let down, even just for a split second.

I pick up on the way he sits our two cellphones side by side on the nightstand, taking care to line them up perfectly as if that's just their spot.

I pick up on the short moments of laughter where he actually lets himself laugh and forgets about the act.

I pick up on things, and sometimes I end up hurting because of it.

When it comes down to it, though, I wouldn't change the way that I am. I wouldn't change the fact that I find myself in the search for more in a society that mostly only offers me less.

The trait that tends to hurt me most is also the one that I value most. Even if noticing all the little things is something that contributes to my own heartache, I love those moments. There is something beautiful about those tiny things shared by two people, even if the connection ends there.

Sure, it can be hard. But so can everything.

It's just a matter of finding the beauty.

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Dedicate Your Summer To Bettering Yourself For Yourself, Not Your Ex

Why waste energy on an ex who doesn't care about you anymore?

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views

I'm single for the summer (yet again, no shock there) but this summer there's something in the air that just feels different. It's the feeling of true acceptance of my single status.

Last summer I was single when I really didn't want to be. My heart with still holding out for a guy who wasn't interested in anything more than my friendship. It took me from late March all the way until Halloween to get over those feelings. However, while working through those tough feelings that summer, I came to enjoy my time on my own and not talking to anyone except my best friends. I didn't have to worry about when I'd get a text back, or if I'd be left on read, or who he'd be out with since I wasn't around. The only thing I needed to worry about was my paychecks and tan lines.

Sometimes after breaking things off with someone who you put so much effort into, whether it was a boyfriend, an almost relationship, or even a friend with benefits, it's easy to want to show off on social media and make them regret ever hurting you or ending things. Why? It's a nice little ego boost, sure, but after those few seconds of glee from the fact that you know they've seen and maybe even liked your picture or your tweet, or saw your story on Snapchat, do you still feel happy? No, you go right back to feeling like crap, whether you want to admit it or not. Stop making yourself all about them when that ship has sailed and start being all about you.

Your ex is off doing their own thing, maybe thinking about you, but obviously not enough to want you back in their life the way you used to be. They are probably out there finding a new person to take your spot because they don't have you at their beck and call anymore. If they're also showing off to show you how much better they are without you or to make you jealous...why are you still following them or still participating in this sick little game for attention? Grow up and block them so you don't have to keep seeing their posts, or be adult enough to stop if you're doing the same as well. If it's only you posting, chances are you just look stupid, so stop before you really embarrass yourself. I was that person, and I know first hand how embarrassed I am for acting the way I did.

Summer is synonymous for doing whatever the hell you want. Wear what you want, say what you want, and be the best version of yourself that only a high dose of Vitamin D can bring out. Your ex is an ex for many reasons. You have to set aside the summer for you and what benefits you only. Don't concern yourself with an ex who doesn't care in the least about you anymore. Coming from someone who posted thirst traps aimed at a specific person along with countless shady AF stories on Snap and Insta in the hopes that this one person and their friends would see it, just stop and save yourself the energy as well as regret.

We're all adults, it's time to stop the petty posts and photos. Post your thirst trap for yourself because you're a sexy queen who doesn't need anyone but herself. Once you start focusing on yourself this summer, instead of your ex, you'll realize just have great it feels to truly be free.

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