We've all been there and if you haven't, you're in for it eventually.
Breakups are something that can be particularly hurtful to one's self-esteem, and completely diminish a person's sense of self-worth. We all go through them and we all get through them, but everyone copes and deals differently with pain that seems to increase with every breakup.
Some people, the lucky ones, take the pain and run with it.
These people are barely affected by breakups and can move on fairly quickly. If this isn't you, don't worry because it's not me either. Very few people can leave a meaningful relationship relatively unscathed and ready to move on. Even if the relationship wasn't “official," or it wasn't that long of a run, only YOU can decide how you felt about the relationship and how you feel post-breakup.
Most of the time, the awful feeling sets in immediately and gets worse over the course of the next few days.
You cry and wheeze until you make yourself sick, you stop eating, or binge eat because you just aren't yourself. You don't know what to feel, or how to feel it. You feel like a piece of you has been taken away, almost as if you're not whole. These feelings are totally valid, but you CANNOT let them take you over.
Give yourself a few days to indulge, wallow in self-pity, be sad, even be angry, but after that, you need to rise again.
The most important thing to remember post-breakup is that there is NOTHING wrong with you. Many people tend to default to “what's wrong with me?" regardless of the circumstances, myself included. You are strong, amazing, resilient, and you WILL make it through this.
Whether you were cheated on, played, screwed over, fell out of love, or things straight up just didn't work out, you cannot blame yourself.
Loving yourself after someone stopped loving you is one of the hardest things to move on from, but the only way to move forward is to realize that you will be okay. Someone better than your ex will love you, but that person won't come around until you start loving yourself.
Confidence is key and people tend to be attracted to it.
So, the faster you realize that he/she isn't worth the tears and making yourself sick, the faster you will be able to get over your ex, get back out there, and come one step closer to finding your Mr./Ms. Right.