21 Things I Hope For The Girl My Boyfriend Cheated With

21 Things I Hope For The Girl My Boyfriend Cheated With

Now that I have had time to think about it all and reflect on what happened, what I want to say to you is much different than what I would have said before.
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I have played over in my mind what I would say to you so many times. At first, all I wanted to do is scream at you until I felt better. I just hated you so much that I wanted you to hear all of the hurtful things I had to say. You were a huge part of all of the pain I was feeling at the time. I was miserable, and misery loves company, therefore I wanted you to feel miserable too. I knew none of those things would make me feel better, in the long run, they would just make me feel bad about myself.

Now that I have had time to think about it all and reflect on what happened, what I want to say to you is much different than what I would have said before.

I hope that he brings you the overflowing amount of happiness, that you feel happier than you have ever felt before and thank God for bringing him into your life. Waking up to the long messages of him expressing how much he cares for you will bring such a fullness to your heart that nothing could possibly bring you down.

I hope that you both confide your deepest thoughts to each other while laying together in the dark. You find a complete sense of comfort telling him anything and everything because in your heart you know that he cares about what you have to say.

I hope as you drift to sleep with him holding you in his arms, you rest easy knowing you are sleeping next to such a perfect person.

I hope that he gives you an all-consuming love that you cannot live without.

I hope that when he tells you that he loves you, you feel it in your bones and it almost even brings tears to your eyes because you feel so complete. You can feel his love for you radiate when he looks at you and smiles.

I hope that he truly is the love of your life, from the bottom of my heart.

I hope that just the smell of his cologne gives you butterflies and floods your heart with happiness. Snuggling up in his favorite shirt will make you feel safe and sound.

I hope you fall in love with not only him, but also with his family. They make you feel like you are a member of their family and love you like their own.

I hope that the love of him and his family bring you the love and happiness you have been waiting your whole life for.

But...

I hope that when he begins to change, you ignore it and think that he’s just having a bad day. When he ignores you, that you feel that pit in your stomach that refuses to go away until you hear from him.

I hope that when he lies to you and says his phone died, that you choose to believe him even though you know something seems wrong.

I hope that when you ask him why he has been acting differently, that he shuts you out and refuses to be honest with you. He will lash out at you for trying to get to the bottom of his strange behavior.

I hope that when you ask him why he is texting, Snapchatting, and calling other girls, that he calls you crazy and controlling.

I hope that when he stops asking to hang out with you, starts canceling plans, and likes other girls posts on social media, you feel forgotten. When you try your hardest to make things go back to how they were, that he will push you away and treat you like a burden rather than a pleasure.

I hope that when you plead with him to be there for you, that he absent.

I hope that when you discover that he is cheating on you, that it feels like your heart is physically breaking into pieces. When you see the new girl he chose over you, that you feel completely betrayed.

I hope that you cry until your eyes swell and your head aches.

I hope that he blames the fall of your relationship on you and makes you feel like it is your fault he cheated on you. When you lay in your bed at night you try to understand why you were not good enough for him.

I hope that you have to watch him make this girl feel everything for him that you once felt.

I hope you feel all of these things because then you will understand how I feel. I do not want to scream at you, embarrass you, or hurt you. I want you to fall in love with him the way I did so that you can feel the pain that I did when you took him.

I hope that you feel all of these things so that you will never make the same mistake again, so that you will never hurt another girl like this again.

Cover Image Credit: Rose Sekpathan

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

As Much As You May Want To, You'll Never Get Over Your First Love

You never forget your first

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Your first love is just that: the first person you've ever truly loved (besides your family and friends). Maybe you've kissed a few people before, but with this person it's different. They mean something to you that no other person ever has before. Maybe you met this person when you were younger in high school or met them a little later in life as I did at the end of my first year of college. Meeting my first love transformed me, both for the good and the bad, and as much as I may want to, I'll never get over my first love and neither will you.

When we met, we didn't meet in some fantastical way, we met on Tinder right after a surprise breakup of mine. We had instant chemistry, and I didn't get to kiss him for weeks because I ended up getting mono right after the breakup (haha whoops). He was the first person I've ever kissed who I didn't want to stop kissing- ever. Yes, second semester freshman year me was super extra when it came to him, but being with him was so different than anyone else. Things progressed through the summer as we talked every single day, even though we never got to meet up because we were both busy, and at the beginning of my sophomore year, I lost my virginity to him. That was a big step for someone who thought she'd wait until she was married. He made sure I was fine and didn't push me to do anything I wasn't comfortable with. I'll treasure that forever.

He was someone I loved with all of my being, to the point where it was physically hurting me in the end because I knew what I felt wasn't going to ever be reciprocated the way I wanted it to be. That's when I had to end it, which was one of the hardest things I've ever done. To me, he was a boyfriend, but to him, I was a friend with benefits. I wanted something more and he wanted less, and I didn't want to accept that. I wasn't his first love but he was mine, which he doesn't know and probably never will. I have had moments where I thought I was over him, but then all the emotions flood right back. In hard moments of hurt is when I miss him the most, but also in moments of joy too. If I see a nice car I think of him, or of other little things, like a french bulldog or The Fast and The Furious.

Your first love leaves such a monumental effect on you as a person. They have seen parts of you others have not. You will always remember your firsts more than anything else, which is why your first love never leaves you. As roughly as things ended between he and I, he's always going to have a piece of me that no one else will ever have. The relationship we had wasn't what you'd expect from someone you call your first love, but his mark on me is what helped shape me into who I am today for better or for worse.

Don't let any negativity remain when it comes to your first love (if there is any). Let it go and remember the good. They will be a part of you forever, so you can never truly get over you.

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Why You Keep Falling In Love With People Who Don’t Love You Back In Your 20s

It's embedded in our human psychology to always desire deeper connections and meaningful relationships with the people we hold close to our heart, even if the feeling aren't necessarily mutual.

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Can love truly be both beautiful and heartbreaking?

It's a question I silently asked myself, sitting shotgun in a car next to someone I considered my friend.

A "friend" seemed to be the right label to define our relationship. To him, I was just a friend—who just happened to be a girl, a girl he texts regularly, jokes around, and can grab a drink with. And we loved each other as friends, because we both trusted each other, we had fun together and each had our own independent lives which would connect occasionally in a complete, non-questionable platonic way.

But slowly, for me, he was becoming everything I've ever wanted in a guy, standing right in front of me. But he wasn't mine to have.

And imagine being so close to someone you want except you can't have him because it might just ruin everything you've already shared together. Because what if you scare him away? What if he replies by telling you "No"?

That's the simple nature of falling in love with someone you can't be with.

In our early part of our lives—particularly in our 20s and during our college years, we all experience this type of heartbreak.

To name a few: A high school boyfriend who lives halfway across the country now. The hot guy you sit next to in lecture who already has a girlfriend. The casual hookup who you just can't manage to stop thinking about as you endlessly toss and turn at night. The platonic friend who doesn't quite see you as being something more.

We all at one point in our thoughts have imagined "coupling" or sharing a life with a guy who we can't seem to have for ourselves. We've always dreamt how things could actually work out if you actually shared your feelings with him except the closest we'll ever reach to it is in our dreams, not reality.

And to examine the logic behind why this happens, we have to first admit how we always want what we can't have.

Because it's embedded in our human psychology to always desire deeper connections and meaningful relationships with the people we hold close to our heart, even if the feeling aren't necessarily mutual.

So, it's not really this case of the whole Romeo and Juliet "star-crossed lovers" BS but rather, it's purely a one sided love which can most definitely be beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. Beautiful because there's always a connection you feel which makes you all warm and bubbly inside but heartbreaking because you know this connection is merely flowing in a one way track.

So then, why do we tend to maintain our connections with these people who hurt us?

One reason is because you're afraid to lose him altogether. Perhaps you think he's going to go on full freak-out mode after you spill the beans to him. My piece of advice in this scenario would be to just suck it up and take the chance. Talk to him about how you feel because honestly, what's there to lose? Unless you're not reciting some sappy, over-the-top love story about how many kids you plan to have with him, you're fine.

But perhaps, the most common reason is because we assume he might eventually fall in love with us, too.

And if this pertains to you, gear up because I can write on for days about why this is a big no-no. Heck, I can probably teach a class or lecture to all of you about my elaborative theory of why you will definitely know whether a boy truly loves you or not. It's plain and simple—if he loves you, he'll make sure you know.

And you can't force someone to fall in love with you. Even if you pay them a million bucks, you can get them to pretend to love you or force them to be with you—but it's never going to be true love. Because true, unrequited love is effortless. It comes naturally. The fiery passion will be shared mutually and you won't ever have to question whether or not you belong with him.

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