Stop Shaming Women For Leaving Toxic Relationships, Ariana Grande Deserves To Be Treated Like Cinderella

At the end of last month, rapper Mac Miller crashed his G-Wagon in a DUI accident following his breakup with long-term girlfriend Ariana Grande.

Also following their breakup was the news that she was rumored to be dating Pete Davidson, which some fans felt was rather soon for Ariana to be moving on, and possibly could have upset Mac Miller leading him to choose to drink and drive.

One fan posted a tweet stating "Mac Miller totaling his G wagon and getting a DUI after Ariana Grande dumped him for another dude after he poured his heart out on a ten song album about her called the divine feminine is just the most heartbreaking thing happening in Hollywood." Ariana Grande then quoted the tweet defending herself by posting a screenshot saying "I am not a babysitter or a mother and no woman should feel that they need to be. I have cared for him and tried to support his sobriety & prayed for his balance for years (and always will of course) but shaming/blaming women for a man's inability to keep his shit together is a major problem. Let's please stop doing that. "

Although the news that Ariana Grande had moved on to someone new might have been absolutely devastating to Mac Miller, that does not at all warrant his behavior.

Drinking and driving is never okay, and he is lucky that nobody was hurt by his careless actions. In fact, totaling his G-Wagon is probably the least damaging thing that could have occurred in result of his own negligent actions, and is actually not as heartbreaking as his fans are making it out to be. Accidents as a result of drunk driving occur at least once every 53 minutes in the United States, claiming approximately 10,000 lives per year. Just because there was a celebrity behind the wheel makes no difference, his actions are still as reckless as any other drunk driver, regardless of whether or not he was distraught over his recent breakup.

Too often women are blamed for the actions of their spouse or significant other without any regard for their side of the story.

Although Ariana never spoke publicly about her toxic relationship with Mac Miller, that doesn't mean that it didn't happen. Women are not babysitters or nurturers of their partners, and should not be held to such a standard. Mac Miller is a grown ass man, at this point in his life, nobody is responsible for his actions aside from himself. That being said, Ariana Grande should be allowed to move on with her life and be treated as no less than a princess, after all, Miller did write the song "Cinderella" off his album "The Divine Feminine" about Ariana and their relationship together.

This sort of blame doesn't only occur in Hollywood either, I strongly believe that many girls nowadays feel responsible for their significant others' behavior, often times blaming themselves for their partners' shortcomings.

Here is the simple truth: it is not your fault.

I too have been in a similar situation where I blamed myself when a very important boy in my life was struggling and unable to get his life together, often making mistake after mistake and somehow finding a way to blame me. "Well maybe if you wouldn't stress me out so much I would be able to focus more on myself," was a common phrase that I heard time and time again, and the truth is, none of it was my fault. What was happening was toxic to not only himself but also to me, and I had to learn that nobody is going to change their actions for anyone else besides themselves, so I had to let that person go so they could realize that what they were doing wasn't hurting me nearly as much as it was hurting them.

This isn't just destructive for the person that's getting blamed either, the real problem here is that toxic masculinity in today's society has made it so that men feel as if they can't show any sort of weakness or emotion without being seen or perceived as being weak.

Yes, Mac Miller has every right to be devastated over his breakup with Ariana Grande. The two clearly shared a lot of private moments and like anyone following a break up, he deserves to be able to feel whatever emotions he finds relevant during this major life change. However, that again does not warrant his choice to be destructive by drinking and driving.

A relationship should not feel like your partner's actions are burdening you by weighing on your shoulders, meanwhile you bottle it all up because you don't want anyone to have to try to understand the truth, nor do you feel like having to explain it to anyone.

Like Ariana stated, you are not a babysitter, you are not their mother. You are supposed to be an equal in a relationship, you should not have to take on someone else's responsibilities because they would rather be self destructive.

Trust me, the best thing you can do for them and yourself is choosing to walk away hoping that they will find light at the end of the dark tunnel they seem to be spiraling down.

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Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

10 Things My Significant Other MUST Do In Order To Earn The Privilege Of Meeting My Mom

I say "Hakuna Matata" on the daily, but you really need to say it when you prepare to meet my mom.


Besides getting married, meeting the parents can be the most stressful time in any relationship. Your boyfriend could be freaking out because he doesn't want to sound like a loon in front of your dad or your mom may be chopping the vegetables a little too loudly making your girlfriend seem uncomfortable in the presence of a knife. Stressing for days (maybe even weeks) up until the day arrives is apart of being in love because you want your parents to love your significant other just as much as you do and when the dinner is finally over, you can breathe again. My family is a little different and my boyfriend has to do these things to be able to meet my mom and my brother (may as well add my cousins into the mix, too because they're my older siblings).

1. Pass the "Best Friends Test"

I have 6 best friends and each one of them has a unique personality. There's the momma friend, the crazy friend, the questionable friend, the laid back friend, the turnt friend, and the friend who just wants me to be happy. If they don't like you, I'll talk to them to figure out why they don't like you. Either way, if you hurt me, they'll hurt you.

2. Prove that stability is your main priority five years from now, even if I'm not in your plan

Things happen and we can't predict everything. We can be together now, break up in a year, and then get back together. It's part of being a teenager/young adult. We deal with a lot, I mean, we're in college, but the older we get, the more stressful life gets, so I want you to show me that you can handle whatever stresses come your way. I want you to be stable on your own before adding a girlfriend into the mix.

3. Deal with my "Hunger Fits"

Let's face it, I can be a brat, but I'm only a brat on three occasions.

1. I'm sleepy.

2. You didn't let me get my way.

3. I'm hungry.

If you eat without me or go get food without me, I might cry and pout like a two-year-old, so you have to be able to handle it. Pro-tip, have snacks with you whenever we go somewhere.

4. Be okay with getting roasted

My cousins are the funniest people you'll ever meet, but they aren't afraid to talk about you while you sit in front of them, so I need to know that you're okay with being roasted. They're not doing it to be mean (trust me, they aren't), but they're doing it because they're my family and they care about me as if I were their little sister.

5. Be able to hold an intelligent conversation for more than 5 minutes

Good conversation is an essential part of a relationship and I love talking about things that are happening in the world today and because my mom is super knowledgeable on a lot of things, you have to be able to talk for more than 5 minutes about something that's engaging.

6. Remain calm in the face of a difficult conversation

I know when it came to certain topics, I used to go off like a volcano, but I've had to grow out of exploding on people just because they don't agree with me. It takes months, maybe even years to master that type of patience and self-restraint, but I grew up fast, so I needed to learn in less than a year how to hold my tongue. I need to know that if you and I (or someone in my family) were to be in a serious conversation, you'd remain calm. I won't blow up on you, so please don't blow up on me (or my family) because then it might not end so well.

7. State your opinion, no matter how mad I might get

Following up with number six, this is a must! I'm a writer, so I deal with a lot of written opinions on the daily. I'm also involved in a lot of organizations where open dialogue is encouraged, so I deal with a lot of verbal opinions, too. People are going to say what they want to say no matter what and I want you to be able to tell me what's on your mind no matter how severe it may be. I'm here for you and I want you to know that you can trust me with your opinions. I might not agree with them, but I can deal with them.

8. Be able to sit and talk about sports and video games with my brother

You'll for sure meet my older brother before you meet my mom only because he acts just like my late grandfather; calm and laid back. He goes with the flow and doesn't get upset unless I get upset, so you don't have to worry about the big bad overprotective brother (but he is very big and very overprotective). He'd much rather sit and talk about "fork-knife" or a basketball game than grill you. It's just how he is. Also, don't be offended if he engages in conversation with you for like ten minutes before he loses interest in talking to you and goes back to playing his game.

9. Be okay and open to the possibility of a long distance relationship

I don't plan on staying down South for long. I actually won't stay here after I graduate from college. Long distance relationships don't work for 40% of all couples, but I want us to not be a statistic. I believe that we could make it, so I would need to know that you'd be okay with me being a thousand miles away; and of course, if you were halfway across the country, I would learn to be okay with it, too.

10. Love your family as much as you love me

Family is a big deal for me. It's always been me, my older brother, and my mom. You may come from a household where it's you and both of your parents, you and one parent, or you, your parent(s), and your siblings. I love my mom and brother with all of my heart and would drop anything (and I have dropped things) to be with them. I want to see that you love your family with the same amount of love that you give me. A man who loves the family he is born into will love the family he marries into.

My family's triangle has never been broken before, so this is new territory for all of us. Don't feel like an outsider, though! These may seem extensive and extra, but it's the things that matter to me. Aside from the apparent trustworthiness, loyalty, wanting three pets, having a sense of humor, and education that I look for in a guy, you have to do these ten things to meet my mom.

If you pass all of these, then you get to meet her. Don't stress about it though because if she doesn't like you at the first meeting, she'll come around by the next because she loves me and she'll see that I love you.

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To The Parents Who Raised The Man Of My Dreams, It Paid Off

You did a phenomenal job.


As a parent, you always wonder if you're doing it right. Parenting doesn't come with instructions. You're not told how to punish your children in every situation or what to do whenever they accomplish something. You're not completely prepared for it. However, for someone without instructions, you did a phenomenal job.

You raised the man of my dreams.

I've dated throughout my teens and every guy seemed to be the same, but with your son everything was different. Your son is everything I've ever wanted. He is perfect. He is such a gentleman. I want you to know everything you taught him like holding the door and paying for dates, it worked.

I want you to know he doesn't show anger towards me. I'm sure I aggravate him and make him angry, but I want you to know I'll never know when I've done so because he doesn't show it. He gets mad with football games and after he gets done yelling, he apologizes.

He makes me feel beautiful. He has seen me at my absolute worse. He has seen me right when I wake up in the morning with no makeup and my hair is a mess and he tells me I'm beautiful. Whenever so get dressed up, he notices. He makes sure to let me know I look beautiful. He pays attention to detail like that my hair is curled or I have a new nose ring in and he adds them in with the compliments.

He is always supportive. Whenever I started back to school, he was so proud of me. When I started writing for The Odyssey, he shared my articles. He will tell me how proud he is of me. When I make good grades on assignments, he tells me good job.

He is so loving. He comforts me whenever I'm sick. When I had the stomach bug, he got my medicine, trashcans, and played with my hair to comfort me. He brushes and straightens my hair for me whenever I don't feel like it because he wants it to look good.

Thanks to you I have found someone who treats me wonderful. If it wasn't for you, he wouldn't know how to treat a lady. It is because of you that he turned out to be nice and respectful man he is today. I want you to know you did an amazing job raising him. He's everything I've ever wanted. Thank you for raising him to be such a gentleman. Thank you for raising him to be everything I've ever dreamed of.

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