I Asked 19 Women If They Would Lose Their Virginity To The Same Person All Over Again

I Asked 19 Women If They Would Lose Their Virginity To The Same Person All Over Again

"Can I say yes to the penis but no to the person?"

I've thought about this question a lot. If I could go back, would I have chosen the same person, felt the same way, or dreamt about him like I did.

My answer? You may have thought asking all of these women would change that. They brought up points I didn't consider, and they asked me questions I never would have asked myself.

I admire them all, and now I'm asking you...

If you could go back, would you choose the same person to lose your virginity to?

1. "No, only because I wish I would have given it to someone who actually genuinely cared for me...

He only used me ... we're great friends now, and he’s a good guy now that we’re older. But I just wish I would have given it to someone who actually respected me and loved me the same way I loved who I lost it to."

2. "Absolutely not!

1. We were both drunk when it happened.
2. He is literally the farthest thing from being my type.
3. We have zero connection/chemistry.
4. He started dating my cousin right after.
5. He is very degrading towards women.
6. He's cheated NUMEROUS times.
7. My husband is literally the best I have ever had."

3. "Yes I would. I know most of my friends had really bad experiences but mine wasn’t bad at all...

It was with someone I loved and although I don’t love him in that regard anymore he will always hold a special place in my heart and I wish him nothing but the best. I still feel like it was the right decision. I don’t feel like I was too young or doing it just to do it.

4. "Can I say yes to the penis and no to the person?"

5. "Absolutely, as my husband is my one and only. I waited until I got married and that is one of my life's greatest accomplishments."

6. "No, I wouldn't lose it to the same person because I, one, wanted to wait for marriage...

and two, It wasn't my choice, it was an obligation so it kinda ruined the whole sex thing for me."

7. "No..I mean I gained a good friendship out of it, but I so badly wish I would've waited just a little bit longer...

The only reason I say no is because I didn't care for him in a romantic sense. I never listened to the advice given to me, "wait because it means so much more when you actually have feelings for the person," I cannot stress enough how true that is. Not to mention, I feel as if I would've done a lot of things different, handled certain situations better and made better choices."

8. "Oh of course I would. He's now the father of my oldest two children...

we went down different paths and are no longer together but he was my first love... we made memories, experiences and a family together. He's one of the reasons I'm the person I am today."

9. "I gave it up to one of my best friends who died in a car accident a couple years later...

It's one of the best memories I have of him, so of course, I don't regret it and I wouldn't change a thing."

10. "I want to say yes and no...

Yes because I was completely in love with him at the time.

No because once we finally had sex that's all he ever wanted to do. He then left me once he got to college and found a bunch of other girls to sleep with."

10. "Yes, yes I would. You see, the man who I lost my virginity to is my first daughter's real father...

So I would do it ten times over again. She doesn't know this, at least I don't think she does. She always knew her "dad" as her dad since she was 8-months-old when we were married. He knew he wasn't the biological father, but he took responsibility anyway. I was always afraid that as she got older some cruel asshole would tell her this truth, but so far, I really think she doesn't know and I hope she never does."

12. "Yes. The guy I lost my virginity was my first love and we were super young, but I wouldn't change it.

We are still friends today and I think if you can stay friends with your first love then that's a great thing. Maybe I would change the age, but that's only because I wouldn't have been prepared for a child in 9th grade. We didn't think of that part I guess. He's still an amazing person, we were just always better off as friends."

13. "Yes, I would lose my virginity to the same guy because I am one of the few that gets to marry him!

I am so happy that he is the only one that I've been with because no one on this earth is more special to me than him. PS... we started dating when we were 17 and are getting married at 25!"

14. "No, absolutely not. Not that I regret it obviously...

It happened the way it did for a reason but I personally kinda wish I would’ve waited for it to be with someone else. I know I obviously would’ve ended up having sex with him eventually. But if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t have picked him to be my first. Even though it ended up being that way and did happen for a reason. But If I had the choice on how I wanted it to be, I wouldn’t have chosen him to take my virginity, I know that sounds mean and might sound like I hate him or something. But that’s not the case. I don’t hate him at all. I hope he’s happy I really do. I just would have done things differently."

15. "Hell No!

The interesting part to this is, I was just discussing this with a close friend two days ago. When I was in middle school, I struggled with fitting in, as well as being bullied. My last day of middle school, one of the guys in my grade told me that I was not attractive and had no booty. I took this very hard and made it my mission to workout every day over summer break and look the best I possibly could.

Apparently, my hard work paid off. When I stepped foot into high school, I was a 'hot commodity.' All the older guys took notice to me right away and they all seemed to be chasing after me. When I hit sophomore year, I landed a date with the cutest, most popular senior. I was through the moon with excitement! We began to date regularly and I could not be happier.

Until one evening, I was at his house and no one was home. He turned off the lights and truly pressured me into something I did not want to do. I was mortified.The following day, the entire school knew and he dumped me at the lunch table. This experience was one of the worst of my youth and I would take it back in a heartbeat."

16. "No. I was way too young and honestly felt pressured.

I was 14 and he was 18 and I felt like to be with him—because he was so flirtatious and had a history of cheating on people—that I needed to have sex with him to keep him, which is obviously super dumb. He eventually cheated on me and left me and then was married three months later."

17. "Yes I would, he was my first boyfriend and at the time I really thought it was right and thought I was in love with him.

Sex was not special with him and I realized that shortly after. Even though I want to say no, I wouldn't. It's nice to be able to compare different people, and I wouldn't have been able to meet the amazing man I'm with now if it wasn't for my first."

18. "I always thought I was going to wait to be married to have sex so I was upset that I didn't wait...even then after it happened.

I feel that it's a very intimate thing and that's not how it was my first time. He wasn't my boyfriend, he was someone I wanted a relationship with but I would have rather stayed a virgin and had sex with someone I was 100% comfortable with and knew I was going to be with."

19. "I have a stereotypical "guy view" on sex. I wouldn't change it just because I feel the total opposite.

Sex now with my husband is incredible and empowering, but up until now, sex was just sex. Never anything more than that."

For me, the author, I lost my virginity to someone I was head over heels in love with. I waited until I was 20 to lose it, and even that wasn't a light decision for me. Before meeting him, I was with someone for two years, and never felt like he was the right person to take it, so I continued to wait. Waiting for this man was one of my favorite decisions of my life. I am genuinely proud of this because looking back, my mind and heart were in the exact same place, and I'm proud of that. He didn't rush me, he never pressured me, and he made me feel loved...even if I wasn't. When it was done, he asked me how I felt, and was nothing but a complete gentleman. Though our paths didn't continue to follow suite together, I know he was put in my life for a wonderful reason, and I'm so very blessed to have known him.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Tumblr Is Specifically Targeting Women By Banning Porn

Tumblr's male CEO Jeff D'Onofrio belief that, "there are no shortage of sites on the internet that feature adult content" is just as privileged as he is.


If you've logged into your middle school Tumblr recently, you'd notice that Tumblr is still the same place you remember. Perhaps stuck in a bit of a time warp, it's still full of fanfiction, fan pages, basic white girl stuff, and porn. A lot of porn.

Tumblr announced Monday, December 3 that all adult content AKA pornography will no longer be allowed on the site.

Excuse me. What?

First, Tumblr have you forgotten that porn and thinspiration blogs are what made you famous? Tumblr has always been the "legit" version of the dark dim part of the internet.

Jeff D'Onofrio, Tumblr's white, male CEO said this in the announcement blog post:

"Bottom line: There are no shortage of sites on the internet that feature adult content. We will leave it to them and focus our efforts on creating the most welcoming environment possible for our community."

Jeff—I'm here to tell you that you are incorrect.

As a woman, I never felt like it was acceptable to view porn. PornHub and sites like it were not an option.

It was Tumblr that introduced me and many of my friends to "tasteful," soft pornography. For myself and many other women I know, they still felt safe viewing porn on Tumblr.

Tumblr does not fill the same niche as PornHub.

Adult content on Tumblr is as wide-reaching as the mind. D'Onofrio said himself, "Tumblr has always been a place for wide open, creative self-expression at the heart of community and culture."

I hate to break it to you, but adult content is culture.

Tumblr was a place where folks could find their sexual identity. Stumble into kinks and fetishes that they never knew existed.

Tumblr is shamming every woman that found their sexuality on the platform.

By banning adult content, Tumblr is saying, "Hey Women! The content that you found sexually freeing is wrong, it doesn't belong here, and you should go find it somewhere else. We don't care if we're taking away your community."

Sex workers are concerned about the impact on their lives as well.

To be clear, Tumblr should do its best to limit illegal and underage pornography. But, let's not throw out the champagne with the cork.

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Pelvic Floor Dysfunction Is More Common Than You Think And It's The Reason Sex Can Be So Painful

Pelvic Floor what?


Losing your virginity comes with a flood of different emotions like excitement, fear, happiness, oh, and pain. Wow did you not expect the pain, but you heard it's supposed to hurt a lot less the second time, and every other time after.

Only, for you, it's painful every single time, you tense up and don't know why. Your partner tells you just to relax, but it's not that easy, and it feels like it's something you can't control. Why does this happen? I might just have an answer for it, and a way to make it better.

Pelvic Floor Dysfunction. Pelvic what now?

Pelvic Floor Dysfunction, according to a blog written by the Florida Hospital, "refers to a wide range of disorders that occur when muscles of the pelvic floor are weak, tight or torn." Ouch. The pelvic floor muscles keep your organs in place, and when they are weakened, you can develop PFD. The range of symptoms can go from the strong frequent urge to urinate, painful periods and difficulty with going a number two. The symptom I found most surprising was painful intercourse.

This isn't something my gyno ever talked to me about or even my regular doctor. I literally just found out this existed, and it makes a lot of sense in terms of the issues a lot of women, in particular, have with their sex lives.

Definitely do not pull a me and self-diagnose, talk to your gyno. I have researched a good chunk of ways that this issue can be fixed, or at least made more bearable. We deserve a sex life that doesn't involve pain to the extent we experience it, it's time to be liberated ladies!

Try doing yoga. Three out of four women surveyed said their sex lives improved in all aspects due to doing yoga. Yoga relaxes you, which is where the benefits of a better sex life come from. You can try yoga in a class, or even watch a video on Youtube and teach yourself.

Kegel exercises are another thing to try. Kegel is when you contract and relax the muscles of your pelvic floor, where your uterus and bladder are held in place. The goal is to give your muscles a toned effect, and this can result in reducing pain (yay) during sex, being aware of yourself climaxing/ having a better orgasm (HELLO) and helping with urinary incontinence too. The basics are pretending you're holding your pee when you really have to go. Do this for two to three seconds on an empty bladder and then release. Once you get the hang of it, do about five sets of ten reps a day, and await the improvements.

There is also pelvic floor physical therapy you can try. The International Society for Sexual Medicine says you are "taught how to contract and relax pelvic floor muscles in relation to other muscles and breathing and timing techniques to make the exercises more effective. These exercises can stretch tight muscles, strengthen weak ones, and improve flexibility." Other forms of therapy include self-education, manual therapy, pelvic floor biofeedback, electronic simulation, and vaginal dilators. I know some of those terms sound like a foreign language, so I'm linking the website for you all to check out.

In terms of sex positions, it's honestly up to you and how you feel. Experiment with what feels good and what doesn't feel so good. If you have a solid man in your life, he'll do whatever he can to make sure you feel the best you can. Use a pillow under your pelvis and have him hit it from behind, because sis, it makes the world of a difference compared to the lovely standard missionary. That's something I've heard helps. Cosmopolitan has done a fabulous job of listing five positions you should try if sex hurts, and I hope they work and feel as great as they look.

To all my ladies who experience painful sex on the regular, I feel you, and we deserve better. Talk to your gyno about what you're experiencing, and don't let any guy tell you to "relax and stop tensing up." Have some great sex!

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