I Asked 19 Women If They Would Lose Their Virginity To The Same Person All Over Again

I Asked 19 Women If They Would Lose Their Virginity To The Same Person All Over Again

"Can I say yes to the penis but no to the person?"

I've thought about this question a lot. If I could go back, would I have chosen the same person, felt the same way, or dreamt about him like I did.

My answer? You may have thought asking all of these women would change that. They brought up points I didn't consider, and they asked me questions I never would have asked myself.

I admire them all, and now I'm asking you...

If you could go back, would you choose the same person to lose your virginity to?

1. "No, only because I wish I would have given it to someone who actually genuinely cared for me...

He only used me ... we're great friends now, and he’s a good guy now that we’re older. But I just wish I would have given it to someone who actually respected me and loved me the same way I loved who I lost it to."

2. "Absolutely not!

1. We were both drunk when it happened.
2. He is literally the farthest thing from being my type.
3. We have zero connection/chemistry.
4. He started dating my cousin right after.
5. He is very degrading towards women.
6. He's cheated NUMEROUS times.
7. My husband is literally the best I have ever had."

3. "Yes I would. I know most of my friends had really bad experiences but mine wasn’t bad at all...

It was with someone I loved and although I don’t love him in that regard anymore he will always hold a special place in my heart and I wish him nothing but the best. I still feel like it was the right decision. I don’t feel like I was too young or doing it just to do it.

4. "Can I say yes to the penis and no to the person?"

5. "Absolutely, as my husband is my one and only. I waited until I got married and that is one of my life's greatest accomplishments."

6. "No, I wouldn't lose it to the same person because I, one, wanted to wait for marriage...

and two, It wasn't my choice, it was an obligation so it kinda ruined the whole sex thing for me."

7. "No..I mean I gained a good friendship out of it, but I so badly wish I would've waited just a little bit longer...

The only reason I say no is because I didn't care for him in a romantic sense. I never listened to the advice given to me, "wait because it means so much more when you actually have feelings for the person," I cannot stress enough how true that is. Not to mention, I feel as if I would've done a lot of things different, handled certain situations better and made better choices."

8. "Oh of course I would. He's now the father of my oldest two children...

we went down different paths and are no longer together but he was my first love... we made memories, experiences and a family together. He's one of the reasons I'm the person I am today."

9. "I gave it up to one of my best friends who died in a car accident a couple years later...

It's one of the best memories I have of him, so of course, I don't regret it and I wouldn't change a thing."

10. "I want to say yes and no...

Yes because I was completely in love with him at the time.

No because once we finally had sex that's all he ever wanted to do. He then left me once he got to college and found a bunch of other girls to sleep with."

10. "Yes, yes I would. You see, the man who I lost my virginity to is my first daughter's real father...

So I would do it ten times over again. She doesn't know this, at least I don't think she does. She always knew her "dad" as her dad since she was 8-months-old when we were married. He knew he wasn't the biological father, but he took responsibility anyway. I was always afraid that as she got older some cruel asshole would tell her this truth, but so far, I really think she doesn't know and I hope she never does."

12. "Yes. The guy I lost my virginity was my first love and we were super young, but I wouldn't change it.

We are still friends today and I think if you can stay friends with your first love then that's a great thing. Maybe I would change the age, but that's only because I wouldn't have been prepared for a child in 9th grade. We didn't think of that part I guess. He's still an amazing person, we were just always better off as friends."

13. "Yes, I would lose my virginity to the same guy because I am one of the few that gets to marry him!

I am so happy that he is the only one that I've been with because no one on this earth is more special to me than him. PS... we started dating when we were 17 and are getting married at 25!"

14. "No, absolutely not. Not that I regret it obviously...

It happened the way it did for a reason but I personally kinda wish I would’ve waited for it to be with someone else. I know I obviously would’ve ended up having sex with him eventually. But if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t have picked him to be my first. Even though it ended up being that way and did happen for a reason. But If I had the choice on how I wanted it to be, I wouldn’t have chosen him to take my virginity, I know that sounds mean and might sound like I hate him or something. But that’s not the case. I don’t hate him at all. I hope he’s happy I really do. I just would have done things differently."

15. "Hell No!

The interesting part to this is, I was just discussing this with a close friend two days ago. When I was in middle school, I struggled with fitting in, as well as being bullied. My last day of middle school, one of the guys in my grade told me that I was not attractive and had no booty. I took this very hard and made it my mission to workout every day over summer break and look the best I possibly could.

Apparently, my hard work paid off. When I stepped foot into high school, I was a 'hot commodity.' All the older guys took notice to me right away and they all seemed to be chasing after me. When I hit sophomore year, I landed a date with the cutest, most popular senior. I was through the moon with excitement! We began to date regularly and I could not be happier.

Until one evening, I was at his house and no one was home. He turned off the lights and truly pressured me into something I did not want to do. I was mortified.The following day, the entire school knew and he dumped me at the lunch table. This experience was one of the worst of my youth and I would take it back in a heartbeat."

16. "No. I was way too young and honestly felt pressured.

I was 14 and he was 18 and I felt like to be with him—because he was so flirtatious and had a history of cheating on people—that I needed to have sex with him to keep him, which is obviously super dumb. He eventually cheated on me and left me and then was married three months later."

17. "Yes I would, he was my first boyfriend and at the time I really thought it was right and thought I was in love with him.

Sex was not special with him and I realized that shortly after. Even though I want to say no, I wouldn't. It's nice to be able to compare different people, and I wouldn't have been able to meet the amazing man I'm with now if it wasn't for my first."

18. "I always thought I was going to wait to be married to have sex so I was upset that I didn't wait...even then after it happened.

I feel that it's a very intimate thing and that's not how it was my first time. He wasn't my boyfriend, he was someone I wanted a relationship with but I would have rather stayed a virgin and had sex with someone I was 100% comfortable with and knew I was going to be with."

19. "I have a stereotypical "guy view" on sex. I wouldn't change it just because I feel the total opposite.

Sex now with my husband is incredible and empowering, but up until now, sex was just sex. Never anything more than that."

For me, the author, I lost my virginity to someone I was head over heels in love with. I waited until I was 20 to lose it, and even that wasn't a light decision for me. Before meeting him, I was with someone for two years, and never felt like he was the right person to take it, so I continued to wait. Waiting for this man was one of my favorite decisions of my life. I am genuinely proud of this because looking back, my mind and heart were in the exact same place, and I'm proud of that. He didn't rush me, he never pressured me, and he made me feel loved...even if I wasn't. When it was done, he asked me how I felt, and was nothing but a complete gentleman. Though our paths didn't continue to follow suite together, I know he was put in my life for a wonderful reason, and I'm so very blessed to have known him.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I Am A Hopeless Romantic Living In A World Where One-Night Stands Are The Norm

It's the little things.


In today's society, it can certainly start to feel like no one takes love seriously anymore.

Whether it's that one couple who has broken up and gotten back together more times than you can count, the two friends-with-benefits no one can figure out, your local womanizer, or just hookups in general, love and lust are a huge part of specifically college life and culture.

As a hopeless romantic, being part of a generation that "just wants to have fun" can be really frustrating, especially when you just want to find something real. It is so easy for people to put on a fake act just to get what they want and sometimes this can be extremely hard to see through. I'm sure we've all had some kind of incident with someone who played nice but had ulterior motives and the sad truth is that it can be impossible to recognize a person's artificiality.

I am a hopeless romantic.

I have always classified myself as such, and it has remained true. Sure, I can make the most of the freedoms I have as a single college woman, but deep down I just want to find my person.

I've had my fair share of letdowns, and I think we all have, but being a hopeless romantic makes it that much more difficult to get past the "what ifs" and fantasies that come along with starting something with someone new. We may already have our hearts set on a person when they decide they've gotten what they wanted and leave.

For me, I find myself caught up in the little things that someone does. I have always been someone who picks up on small details in situations, and sometimes this works against me.

I pick up on the small facial expressions that he may not even realize he is making; the ones that tell you when their guard has been let down, even just for a split second.

I pick up on the way he sits our two cellphones side by side on the nightstand, taking care to line them up perfectly as if that's just their spot.

I pick up on the short moments of laughter where he actually lets himself laugh and forgets about the act.

I pick up on things, and sometimes I end up hurting because of it.

When it comes down to it, though, I wouldn't change the way that I am. I wouldn't change the fact that I find myself in the search for more in a society that mostly only offers me less.

The trait that tends to hurt me most is also the one that I value most. Even if noticing all the little things is something that contributes to my own heartache, I love those moments. There is something beautiful about those tiny things shared by two people, even if the connection ends there.

Sure, it can be hard. But so can everything.

It's just a matter of finding the beauty.

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5 Movie Sex Scenes That Would Never Go Down Like That In Real Life

There's a lot of time, scripts, makeup, and lights that are involved in these scenes that make them what they are, unlike the sex that happens in real life.

Dr King
Dr King

When I was a child, my idea of sex was confined to what I saw in the media — two people rolling around underneath the sheets of their bed. I didn't understand what was going on at the time until my parents had the birds and the bees talk with me, but still, sex was not something that was discussed regularly in any setting so I couldn't help but use the movies and television as my main source for sex education. When I was a teenager, I started watching rom-coms so my idea of sex expanded to a scenario where two people who loved each other effortlessly fall into a euphoric experience and then they live happily ever after.

Then something about the idea I had changed as I watched the series premiere of "Secret Life of the American Teenager," a popular teen drama from ABC family about a girl who struggles with being a mother in high school. One of the first and most memorable scenes of the show is when Amy Juergens talks to her best friends about what it was like to have sex for the first time. Her friends were ecstatic for her at first until she revealed her dismay, telling them "I didn't exactly realize what was happening until, like, after two seconds, and then it was just over. And it wasn't fun and definitely not like what you see in the movies, you know, all romantic and stuff."

I heard those words and was immediately taken aback. As a 13-year-old, sex wasn't on my mind much, but I couldn't help but hope that I could experience the magic I saw on screen. Then eight years later I have sex for the first time and I realized that what she said was right...not about the part about it not being fun, but more-so about the part that sex is not actually like what is depicted in the movies.

Here are five examples in movies that created unrealistic sex scenes for its viewers:

1. "Skyfall"

This steamy scene between Bond and Severine make shower sex look passionate and trouble-free, but do its expectations match reality? No. What they don't show you is the sting from the water getting into your eyes, the awkward positions your bodies have to accommodate with if there's a significant height difference between you and your partner and the fact that water is a terrible substitute for lube because it strips away the natural lubrication your genitals produce.

2. "No Strings Attached"

Sometimes there are those moments when you want to have sex, but you don't have that much time on your hands so you have to fit in a quick session before work in the morning, in between classes, or right before the kids come back home. Though Natalie Portman's "O" face is spot on, the main thing that makes her quickie with Ashton Kutcher's unrealistic is that she still manages to climax after 45 seconds without any kind of foreplay, lube, or toys involved. The female orgasm is still possible during a quickie, but in real life, there will still have to be creative measures involved so that enough stimulation outside of penetration is involved to get her warmed up.

3. "Fifty Shades of Grey"

As much as I enjoyed the playfulness behind Ana and Christian dipping ice cream on each other's bodies and licking it off each other, I couldn't help but roll my eyes at how over exaggerated it became. Yes, I understand that when something feels good, a moan or some type of vocalization will happen, but getting some kisses and licks on your thighs isn't going to have you arching your back like a demon going through an exorcism.

4. "Mr. & Mrs. Smith"

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's chemistry and passion in this scene is undeniable and it almost makes you want to start a fight with your partner just so you two can have some hot, angry sex just like them. Here's the problem though. They go from nearly killing each other to being boo'ed up like nothing happened. While angry sex can be a way for some couples to express emotions through adrenaline, it isn't the answer to our problems and shouldn't be a substitute for healthy communication.

5. "Titantic"

The moment in the movie when Kate Winslet's hand slams against the door of the car and drifts down as we stare at her steamy handprint and secretly wish we were sleeping with Leonardo DiCaprio will always be a classic. However, this scene is still a scam for those who hope car sex is as passionate and heartfelt as that. Truth be told, there's limited space to feel comfortable so leg cramps are inevitable and sliding against leather feels awful on your skin. To top things off, if you aren't careful enough, you may get caught by the police and ultimately have to register as a sex offender depending on your state's laws.

I truly hope for the day that sex in the media is represented in more of a realistic way, but until then, we just have to remember to take movies for what they are. Acting. There's a lot of time, scripts, makeup, and lights that are involved in these scenes that make them what they are, unlike the sex that happens in real life. As a matter of fact, sometimes sex isn't romantic. Sometimes it's not a fairy tale. There are times when it can be mind-blowing and other times when it's awkward, funny, or simply not what we expect. Do I appreciate fictional sex? Of course. But mainstream entertainment should also take the time to show us more than the sex we supposedly fantasize about and also show us sex that we can look at and see ourselves.

Dr King
Dr King

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