I've thought about this question a lot. If I could go back, would I have chosen the same person, felt the same way, or dreamt about him like I did.
My answer? You may have thought asking all of these women would change that. They brought up points I didn't consider, and they asked me questions I never would have asked myself.
I admire them all, and now I'm asking you...
If you could go back, would you choose the same person to lose your virginity to?
1. "No, only because I wish I would have given it to someone who actually genuinely cared for me...
He only used me ... we're great friends now, and he’s a good guy now that we’re older. But I just wish I would have given it to someone who actually respected me and loved me the same way I loved who I lost it to."
2. "Absolutely not!
1. We were both drunk when it happened.
2. He is literally the farthest thing from being my type.
3. We have zero connection/chemistry.
4. He started dating my cousin right after.
5. He is very degrading towards women.
6. He's cheated NUMEROUS times.
7. My husband is literally the best I have ever had."
3. "Yes I would. I know most of my friends had really bad experiences but mine wasn’t bad at all...
It was with someone I loved and although I don’t love him in that regard anymore he will always hold a special place in my heart and I wish him nothing but the best. I still feel like it was the right decision. I don’t feel like I was too young or doing it just to do it.
4. "Can I say yes to the penis and no to the person?"
5. "Absolutely, as my husband is my one and only. I waited until I got married and that is one of my life's greatest accomplishments."
6. "No, I wouldn't lose it to the same person because I, one, wanted to wait for marriage...
and two, It wasn't my choice, it was an obligation so it kinda ruined the whole sex thing for me."
7. "No..I mean I gained a good friendship out of it, but I so badly wish I would've waited just a little bit longer...
The only reason I say no is because I didn't care for him in a romantic sense. I never listened to the advice given to me, "wait because it means so much more when you actually have feelings for the person," I cannot stress enough how true that is. Not to mention, I feel as if I would've done a lot of things different, handled certain situations better and made better choices."
8. "Oh of course I would. He's now the father of my oldest two children...
we went down different paths and are no longer together but he was my first love... we made memories, experiences and a family together. He's one of the reasons I'm the person I am today."
9. "I gave it up to one of my best friends who died in a car accident a couple years later...
It's one of the best memories I have of him, so of course, I don't regret it and I wouldn't change a thing."
10. "I want to say yes and no...
Yes because I was completely in love with him at the time.
No because once we finally had sex that's all he ever wanted to do. He then left me once he got to college and found a bunch of other girls to sleep with."
10. "Yes, yes I would. You see, the man who I lost my virginity to is my first daughter's real father...
So I would do it ten times over again. She doesn't know this, at least I don't think she does. She always knew her "dad" as her dad since she was 8-months-old when we were married. He knew he wasn't the biological father, but he took responsibility anyway. I was always afraid that as she got older some cruel asshole would tell her this truth, but so far, I really think she doesn't know and I hope she never does."
12. "Yes. The guy I lost my virginity was my first love and we were super young, but I wouldn't change it.
We are still friends today and I think if you can stay friends with your first love then that's a great thing. Maybe I would change the age, but that's only because I wouldn't have been prepared for a child in 9th grade. We didn't think of that part I guess. He's still an amazing person, we were just always better off as friends."
13. "Yes, I would lose my virginity to the same guy because I am one of the few that gets to marry him!
I am so happy that he is the only one that I've been with because no one on this earth is more special to me than him. PS... we started dating when we were 17 and are getting married at 25!"
14. "No, absolutely not. Not that I regret it obviously...
It happened the way it did for a reason but I personally kinda wish I would’ve waited for it to be with someone else. I know I obviously would’ve ended up having sex with him eventually. But if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t have picked him to be my first. Even though it ended up being that way and did happen for a reason. But If I had the choice on how I wanted it to be, I wouldn’t have chosen him to take my virginity, I know that sounds mean and might sound like I hate him or something. But that’s not the case. I don’t hate him at all. I hope he’s happy I really do. I just would have done things differently."
15. "Hell No!
The interesting part to this is, I was just discussing this with a close friend two days ago. When I was in middle school, I struggled with fitting in, as well as being bullied. My last day of middle school, one of the guys in my grade told me that I was not attractive and had no booty. I took this very hard and made it my mission to workout every day over summer break and look the best I possibly could.
Apparently, my hard work paid off. When I stepped foot into high school, I was a 'hot commodity.' All the older guys took notice to me right away and they all seemed to be chasing after me. When I hit sophomore year, I landed a date with the cutest, most popular senior. I was through the moon with excitement! We began to date regularly and I could not be happier.
Until one evening, I was at his house and no one was home. He turned off the lights and truly pressured me into something I did not want to do. I was mortified.The following day, the entire school knew and he dumped me at the lunch table. This experience was one of the worst of my youth and I would take it back in a heartbeat."
16. "No. I was way too young and honestly felt pressured.
I was 14 and he was 18 and I felt like to be with him—because he was so flirtatious and had a history of cheating on people—that I needed to have sex with him to keep him, which is obviously super dumb. He eventually cheated on me and left me and then was married three months later."
17. "Yes I would, he was my first boyfriend and at the time I really thought it was right and thought I was in love with him.
Sex was not special with him and I realized that shortly after. Even though I want to say no, I wouldn't. It's nice to be able to compare different people, and I wouldn't have been able to meet the amazing man I'm with now if it wasn't for my first."
18. "I always thought I was going to wait to be married to have sex so I was upset that I didn't wait...even then after it happened.
I feel that it's a very intimate thing and that's not how it was my first time. He wasn't my boyfriend, he was someone I wanted a relationship with but I would have rather stayed a virgin and had sex with someone I was 100% comfortable with and knew I was going to be with."
19. "I have a stereotypical "guy view" on sex. I wouldn't change it just because I feel the total opposite.
Sex now with my husband is incredible and empowering, but up until now, sex was just sex. Never anything more than that."
For me, the author, I lost my virginity to someone I was head over heels in love with. I waited until I was 20 to lose it, and even that wasn't a light decision for me. Before meeting him, I was with someone for two years, and never felt like he was the right person to take it, so I continued to wait. Waiting for this man was one of my favorite decisions of my life. I am genuinely proud of this because looking back, my mind and heart were in the exact same place, and I'm proud of that. He didn't rush me, he never pressured me, and he made me feel loved...even if I wasn't. When it was done, he asked me how I felt, and was nothing but a complete gentleman. Though our paths didn't continue to follow suite together, I know he was put in my life for a wonderful reason, and I'm so very blessed to have known him.