The 10 Most Awko-Taco Parts Of First Dates That Make Me Want To Stay Single FOREVER

The 10 Most Awko-Taco Parts Of First Dates That Make Me Want To Stay Single FOREVER

Analysis Paralysis: The debilitating syndrome of over-analyzing how the date went, to the point of losing your mind.

Elle Hong
Elle Hong
605
views

First Dates. They can go two ways: either there's an immediate spark between you two, the conversation goes smoothly and there's shared mutual interest which leads to a definite second date. OR it's the complete opposite—a complication of awkward hugs, cringe worthy jokes and sporadic random questions which ends with both of you running away from each other into opposite directions.

I've been a single, "uncuffed" girl for a little over a year now so it's plausible to assume that I've gone on a number of first dates, both good and bad. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing better than going on a really amazing date with an equally amazing guy. But you know what's even more memorable? All the awkward parts of a bad one which you're traumatized with for the rest of your lifetime.

Here's a complication of 10 awkward parts of first dates which make me want to stay single FOREVER:

1. Schedule match maker

Match making to find a date-able guy is one thing. But, trying to figure out a date, time and place where you can meet him requires a full on FBI crime investigation spread sheet.

My new business proposal is to create an app like Tinder where you and your potential BF candidate both plug in your day/time/restaurant preferences and you two can swipe your way into a match to determine where and when you get to meet up.

2. Awkward greetings 

Me: "Hiii! Are you ____?"

Him: "Hey! Yes, I am. Are you Elle?"

Me: No, I'm just a random stranger who just happens to know your name and decided to say hi to you.

*cue the random, incommodiously posed hug*

3. The classic: "You look cuter in person than in pictures"

I mean, thanks for telling me that—but it just sends this metamessage that you stalked my Instagram feed moments before meeting me in person and it's kiiiinda creeping me out.

 4. Conversation hell 

Which way is this conversation going? If we get set up by mutual friends into a blind date situation, do we start talking about our friends? Should I talk about the weather? Do I start talking about myself?Would that make me come off as an arrogant, stuck up little bitch?

What. Do. We. Talk. About?!

5. Unnecessary humble brags 

When I ask you: Where do you work?, I don't need an entire improvised speech about how you got recruited onto the team, became regional district champion of sales two months in and got a signing bonus of $1,000 on your promotion.

That said, when you ask me about school, I will be HONEST and say that I am currently being destroyed with classes blow after blow, I just bombed a practice LSAT last weekend and my hobbies include crying myself to sleep every night, thank you for asking.

6. Hella weird questions

Case in point

Him: Is Elle short for anything? Like Elizabeth or Eleanor?

Me: No. It's just Elle.

Him: Then why do you spell it like "L" but you pronounce it like "eh-lee"?

Me: Because...it's my name??

7. "Do you see us being together?"

Another hella weird question which deserves a point of its own. I beg to ask you WHY you think that's a great question to ask me on a first date and WHY you suddenly sound like my crazy psycho ex drunk texting me on a Saturday night?

8. The why-do-I-keep-randomly-laughing

That moment when he cracks a "punny" joke that you've already heard before but you still do your best impression of a throaty laugh/knee slap.

See also: When you're in a crowded bar with BLARING MUSIC and you seriously cannot hear a word he is saying, but you just nod your head and laugh, silently hoping he didn't ask you a question.

9. Who waits and who texts first afterwards

The million dollar question: Do I swallow my inner pride and text him first, anxiously waiting for him to respond OR do I anxiously wait for him to text me first and slowly die on the inside, losing all existence of my self worth????

10. Analysis paralysis

The debilitating syndrome of over-analyzing how the date went, to the point of losing your mind, personally criticizing everything you said to him and hitting yourself on the forehead about your stupidity

Elle Hong
Elle Hong

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

8 Weird Things That Inevitably Happen After You’ve Been On Dating Apps For More Than, Like, 10 Months

Staring and swiping all day really does something to you.

474
views

The world of Tinder and Bumble is a weird one.

You meet all kinds of people from all walks of life. Yet for some reason, every single person's hobbies consist of hiking and traveling.

From receiving creepy one-liners about cunnilingus to being constantly hounded to drop all your plans to meet a stranger, Tinder is a gold mine for article content.

1. You never actually meet up.

This is almost inevitable. You'll start talking to someone. It will either be great, weird, or most likely mediocre. You guys have some things in common (probably hiking and traveling) and someone is gonna bring up the possibility of meeting.

Usually one party is busy this week and an actual date never gets set. Or sometimes it is but is never fulfilled.

Neither of you are bad people, it just never happens. I'm not quite sure why this is but it's going to happen at least once. Or twice.

2. You hit Snapchat purgatory.

I am a firm believer that Snapchat is where Tinder flames go to die.

Of course, you might head down the avenue of explicit content that I don't need to present to my Facebook family audience, but more often than not you guys hit a dead end. Maybe you'll exchange a couple snaps for a day or two, but then it turns into crickets on both ends. Something about that little ghost does something to people!

Also, can we talk about how guys are always asking for selfies? I get catfishing is a thing, but if I'm spending the day on Tinder I probably haven't showered and I've just finished crying. Not the best foot forward.

3. You meet up once and then nothing ever happens again.

Okay these all sound depressing but it just happens. A date can go well from both sides and still nothing comes to fruition after. You can argue that it didn't go well enough which could be true, but I think part of the ghosting has to do with current dating culture.

Or it's just me. Yeah, it's probably me.

4. You have an arsenal of weird stories.

A pro to all these weird situations is that you now have a bunch of funny yet disturbing stories about creepy men. The perfect icebreakers for dates, new friends, and work events. It was absolutely horrifying in the moment, but boy can you look back and laugh now!

5. You already know them.

It's always so weird when you see someone you know on Tinder. Old classmates, friends, coworkers. What do you even do in that situation?

My rule of thumb is to reserve the super likes for your good friends so you can inevitably tease them later but also for the cute guys you never had the courage to talk to in person when you knew them. Just keep intentions of the super like clear.

6. You see them in class.

This is a weird one. Whether you matched while you had a class with them or they show up in your class a week later, it's still awkward. Maybe you get lucky and it's the push you need, but it can also just be downright uncomfortable. As Tinder goes, it's usually the latter.

7. Your friend has already been on a date with them.

Even more awkward than being forced to see them in class, is knowing your friend has probably already experienced the same thing. Does the rule of dibs apply? Insecurities and awkwardness can easily roll in.

Or you can both bond and laugh over how weird it was. That's better

8. You have the worst date ever.

Hey! At least you've got a new story!

But honestly exercise your best judgment, don't let any weirdos walk over you, and BE SAFE.

OMG, check these out

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

I Asked 11 Independent Young Women All They Accomplished After Leaving A Toxic Relationship

"My grades have gotten better, my mental health has improved overall, and I'm just overall happier with my existence now that I'm in a healthy environment."

571
views

We live in a culture that thinks that after a relationship ends, no matter how toxic and draining that relationship was, we need to be devastated. We clearly never loved the person if we don't experience heartbreak. However, I believe that isn't true. Sure, we are heartbroken by the love that didn't make it, but most of the time, leaving a toxic relationship is our saving grace.

I am so sick of watching strong, wonderful, beautiful young women allow a toxic relationship to hold them down. There is SO much more to life than feeling stuck with a partner that makes you feel like crap. You can truly thrive after leaving this relationship and you can accomplish everything you've always wanted and more.

I decided to highlight the stories of 11 strong young women and all that they've accomplished since ending their relationship. This goes to show that the heartbreak will not be your end — in fact, it will likely be your beginning.

1. Since I left this bad relationship, the self-love and accomplishments just keep growing.

"I stopped being nervous about leaving for school, I didn't worry about him pressuring me to do things I didn't want to, and going to school with that lack of worry allowed me to blossom. I've been on the Dean's list twice (round three coming in a few weeks), joined an organization that allows time to grow into a better leader, I volunteer with kids who need me, work with kids who appreciate me, and have made friends who support me. The positive effects of focusing on me just keep on coming." - Anon, 20

2. My dreams came true.

"After I got dumped by my ex, who was cheating on me with my best friend's roommate, I got accepted to my dream grad program and started a business." - Elizabeth, 22

3. I got myself in shape.

"After dating around in college, one guy hit me. I was so devastated that I allowed someone to do that to me that I decided to hit the gym so that way in case I needed to defend myself I could and I could feel good about my body!" - Sarah, 19

4. Now, I am myself.

"I was able to finally just breathe and be myself. I was always forced to do everything his way and please him so I never considered myself. I grew so much as an individual and became stronger because of it!" - Anon, 19

5. I found my passion.

"I got accepted into my school's honors college and discovered my hidden talent/passion for makeup." - Sara, 21

6. I'm in a healthy environment, and because of that, I am happy.

"I learned what toxic behaviors looked like in even the most subtle ways. I was able to learn what I really believed, which didn't really fit with what he believed, or even what my hometown as a whole believed. I became more empowered, believing in myself more and strengthening my voice and opinions. I was able to learn that I needed to treat myself better and hold others to the standard of treating me better, too. I've become more social since I'm no longer restricted from going out or hanging out with friends. I've grown to love my body more now that what I'm allowed to wear isn't dictated by someone else. My grades have gotten better, my mental health has improved overall, and I'm just overall happier with my existence now that I'm in a healthy environment." - Emily, 21

7. Since leaving my toxic relationship, I have...

"- changed my major

- gave up on pursuing a toxic ex-friendship

- got accepted to intern abroad

- turned 21

- met the one

- discovered my own self-worth" - Maria, 21

8. I'm loving every minute of my life now.

"A two-year relationship just ended a little over two months ago. The first few weeks I was a complete and utter disaster. I didn't really know what to do with myself. Now, I am working on school like I haven't before. I didn't let myself enjoy college in my relationship because he was constantly putting me down for coming to college. I am truly enjoying my college experiences especially academically. I have succeeded in so many things and have joined so many new organizations. I am so busy, but so happy and feel more like myself than I ever was in my relationship. I am not 100% better or healed, but that will take time. I am, however, learning so much about myself and loving every minute." - Caitlin, 20

9. I am now ready for the love I truly deserve.

"I learned so many things and it grew me tremendously as a person—but I think the most important things were that I began to see who truly loved me, I developed a higher sense of self-respect, I no longer had someone sucking the life out of me, I learned how to obtain closure and healing inwardly from myself, and I opened myself up to the possibility of gaining the type of love that I am worthy of." - Anna, 19

10. I'm thriving without them.

"At first I didn't want the communication to stop because the attempt at a relationship ultimately ruined a 5-year-friendship, but eventually I just got used to not having them in my life anymore. My mental health has really improved. That relationship was mentally and emotionally draining and wasn't necessarily productive or empowering. Since then I have really enjoyed not getting caught up in what others think of me and have really enjoyed focusing on myself rather than pleasing someone else. Months after not having any contact, they decided to request to follow me again even though they were the one originally wanting to cut all communication. I accepted it, but I've mentally decided not to reach out or make any communication they attempt to be short. I've realized I don't need them in my life and they didn't want the part of me I was offering months ago, so they don't deserve me now. They can watch me thrive and living my life, but they don't get to be a part of it." - Anon, 18

11. I learned so much from this experience, and for that, I'm thankful.

"I became my own person again, I learned how to be happy on my own, gained friends and confidence, overall, I lost a lot during my toxic 4-year relationship and am so appreciative of how I've matured and developed since then. I'm thankful as to how much I've learned from the experience and who I have become today." - Jennifer, 19

OMG, check these out

Facebook Comments