♫ Almost paradise... knocking on heaven's door ♫

To say this season of "Bachelor in Paradise" hasn't been as heavenly as the theme song would suggest is an absolute understatement. From the poor communication skills of nearly everyone on the show to the blatant red flags, it's clear that few on the show actually came to Mexico without some sort of baggage.

When it comes to the Hannah G. and Dylan drama, though, they're both really in the same boat. I know you're probably like "NO, WHAT?! HOW?!" Dylan's innocent! Which, yes, he absolutely is. But if you hear me out and really think about it: both of them are going after a "temptation." One they both — very deep down — know is a terrible idea, but they continue to pursue it nevertheless because... #Paradise #Love.

For Dylan, that's Hannah — the gorgeous blonde girl who shows him affection when she isn't being tempted by Blake.

via GIPHY

For Hannah, that's Blake — the handsome guy she hung out with briefly before the show (side note: WHAT ARE HIS DANCE MOVES?!?!), AKA the one who gives her attention only when it's convenient for him.

via GIPHY

It's a tale as old as time really. A TALE AS OLD AS TIME. Knowing that someone isn't good for you, but being irresistibly attracted to them anyway. Unfortunately in this situation, since Hannah is in the middle, she wields the power, which means Dylan's heart is seriously on the line and I'm NOT HERE FOR IT. It's a vicious cycle that will continue until Dylan sees through the B.S. and realizes his worth before Hannah G. tramples all over his precious heart.

That said, if next week's rose ceremony leads to Dylan getting his heart shattered, I'll be watching from my couch looking like the "Without Hannah" Dylan in the photo on the right.

SIMPLE DATING LESSON: IF YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED, TELL THEM! DON'T STRING IT ALONG! 🗣️🗣️🗣️

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