For starters, I'm not here to bully Jed. He's had enough of that from both the media and Hannah Beast's loyal supporters.
I am, however, here to say that what he did to his ex-not-official-girlfriend-but-person-with-whom-he-did-everything-those-in-relationships-do-together is exactly what's wrong with dating in 2019.
If you haven't watched episode 2 of 'The Bachelorette' Finale, RUN HOME and do it. Because (long story short) Hannah B finally learned that Jed was seriously dating someone who thought she was his girlfriend up until the very day he flew out to be on the show. There wasn't even a breakup to end it that day, he just assumed it was over because he "felt it in his heart."
This "non-verbal breakup," involving mixed signals, sex, I love yous, and no closure is something that happens all the time in today's dating world.
In this instance, it happened on national television, so everyone was able to be like "OMG ARE YOU KIDDING?! F*** THAT!" But the not so pretty truth of it all is that reality TV is based on just that... reality. INCREDIBLE! And the real-life version of the problem does not start or end with Jed. It's much deeper.
Whether you met on an app, through friends or family, or slid into the DMs, a majority of people assume that keeping it casual is just easier than defining the relationship.
No pressure, no problem, right? It's a way of protecting yourself — particularly in situations when you're dating strangers — by keeping things non-exclusive and having fun without dealing with the difficult parts of being in a relationship. The whole "if we're not 'official,' I don't owe the person anything" or "I can't get hurt" ordeal is BULLSHIT. But I hear it time and time again.
The fact of the matter though is regardless of whether or not there's a title on your relationship, there's a person at the other end of it. By dating, you immediately sign yourself up for having to look out for someone else's feelings and in doing so, yours will automatically be vulnerable too. It's the name of the game. But it's worth playing! So play nice (and fair), please.
After all, it shouldn't take an official relationship title for us to be good human beings.
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