10 Things You Must Consider Before You Date Someone In The Military

10 Things You Must Consider Before You Date Someone In The Military

Starting a relationship with someone in the military is scary, but definitely worth it.

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Entering into a relationship with a man (or woman) in the military can be difficult especially if you are not the woman (or man) to put forth the work and time it will need in order for the relationship to work.

1. Can You Handle The Long Distance?

Long distance relationships can be tricky but being involved with a man in the military can be even trickier. Distance can be extremely tough on a person. As humans, we crave physical contact and we crave personal interactions with the individual in which we are seeing. Having this distance between the two of you can cause conflicts and issues, however, you have to look at the distance between you as a good thing. Distance can make your love or affection and the relationship you share grow even stronger.

2. Are You Committed To One Another?

Commitment plays a humongous role in maintaining a relationship with someone in the military. Being committed to someone over a long distance requires faith, trust, and patience. Commitment is being honest and loyal to that person no matter what happens. Whether there are bad times that arise you need to forgive them and not throw in the towel when things begin to get too hard.

Working through situations and problems together will bring you so much closer. We need to hold on to the people that we commit to and not give up on them and the relationship we share. Being in a long-distance relationship and dating a man in the military there are so many problems or bad days that can occur but if you are committed to him and what you two share then you can get through any of the tough times that come your way. You will get so much joy and happiness out of it in the end!

3. Do You Have Trust In Him?

Trust is extremely important. If you do not have trust in him then you do not have trust in the relationship. When he is in another state or he is countries away, you need to trust that he only has eyes for you alone and that he will be faithful to the love and relationship in which you have together. Trust in him to not give up even through the tough times and to always fight for the relationship you guys built just like he fights for our beloved country!

4. Are You Too Busy In Your Own Personal Life To Have Time For A Relationship?

Being in college or having a demanding job can overpower us and make individuals not only stressed but also super busy. Going to college and getting a higher education takes a lot of time commitment and work to fulfill the classes you need in order to get your degree. No matter if you are in college or have a hectic busy job, you need to find the time and make sure you do not put your relationship with your loved one on the back burner. Relationships take work and time commitment to maintain a healthy and loving relationship between the two of you.

If you are personally too busy to make that time for him and put in the effort you need to make the relationship work, then, in the end, it will crumble. Being in a military type relationship there will be many times in which you are both so busy that you might go days, weeks, months etc. without seeing each other and sometimes even getting the chance to talk to one another. That is where the loyalty, trust, love, and commitment to that person comes into play!

5. Do You Have Trust In Yourself?

Trusting him is one thing but having trust in yourself and the role that you play in the relationship is equally important as well.

If you do not have trust in yourself that you will stay faithful, loyal, committed etc. to him then your trust in him and the relationship will never happen. Trust in yourself to give the relationship your best shot and to always try your best within it.

6. Are You On The Same Page As Each Other?

When it comes to any relationship you need to make sure that you two are on the same page. You need to find time to discuss with one another where you are wanting the relationship to potentially lead etc. Let each other know where your boundaries are and personal believes within a relationship. Being on the same page about life and the journey you want to take and face together is extremely important and a huge aspect of having a long-lasting relationship together.

7. Is There A Time Difference? 

Being hours behind or ahead of one another can be tricky. Planning your days to where you have time set aside for the two of you is important. A time difference can cause complications when it comes to communicating together and when it comes to seeing each other. Remember to communicate with your partner and understand that time changes can be tricky at times but if you find a routine that works for you, stick with it and do not let it be a reason that conflicts arise within your relationship with him.

8. Are You Good At Planning? 

In order to maintain a healthy and lasting relationship you need to be able to plan accordingly with one another's schedules, time changes, distance etc. Having a plan will let you grow closer together and build a stronger foundation because drawing up a plan and then performing it showcases that you are giving this relationship your all and you are willing to make it work at whatever cost!

9. Conviction? 

Conviction or belief and assurance. No matter what branch of the military you go into you is making the selfless decision to fight for your country, keep it safe, and potentially risk your life for the sake of saving others. That to me shows that going into a relationship with him, no matter how hard it gets he will always fight for it and give me and our relationship his all!

10. Are You In This For The Long Haul?

When it comes to entering into a new relationship at this time in your life, looking for a simple boyfriend to pass the time is not what I am looking for. I am looking for a meaningful and hopefully lasting connection with a man that could possibly one day be my husband and go through the journeys of life with me. With a military relationship, you put in so much time, energy, commitment, trust etc. that it builds such a strong and lasting connection and bond between the two of you that you would not ever want to end.

Yes, having a man in the military is amazing and wonderful, but make sure that is not the only reason you are pursuing him. It is not the military that makes him the man I want to be with, but the man within him and his personality and love for life is! The way he acts goofy on facetime or when we talk about our love of our father, Jesus Christ. Him being in the Coast Guard is only a job I see. The fact that he decides to put his life on the line for others and protect our country with no hesitation or concern about himself is what makes him the man I want to be with! That is what makes him a wonderful man to have within our military!

Consider these questions if you are thinking about dating someone who either is already in the military or wants to be in the military. These relationships are so special but take a lot of work and dedication.

The reward of having him at the end of the day is better than any struggles you might face along the way!

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

8 Qualities That Still Hold Up When Looking For The 'Perfect Guy' In 2019

He hasn't come along yet, but I'll know him when I see him.

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Ah, the mythical "perfect guy." Technically, he doesn't exist.

But there are guys that seem perfect to the people who love them despite their flaws. Over the years, I've compiled a mental list of things I look for in a guy. The list has changed over the years as different things became important to me. It's probably as complex and comprehensive now as it'll ever get, but I can't be sure.

The following are in order of importance, at least for me. Here are the best qualities to look for in a man in 2019:

1. Having strong faith.

This is crucial! I'm Christian, so for me, that means if he's not a Christian, it's a dealbreaker. My morals and beliefs are very strongly linked to my faith in God, and I just can't be with someone who doesn't share that conviction. I wouldn't marry a man who's not a Christian, so why even bother dating one?

"Imagine a man so focused on God that the only reason he looked up to see you is because he heard God say, 'That's her.'"

2. Kind

This is also very important! I've liked guys in the past who had some of the other qualities I looked for I but weren't kind. A relationship without kindness is toxic. Everyone deserves someone who treats them well, but that person should treat everyone well. They shouldn't discriminate with their kindness.

3. Funny

I need a guy who can make me laugh! He also needs to be able to understand my sense of humor, which is mostly sarcasm. I find a lot of things funny: jokes, puns, memes, no matter how seemingly stupid. If you've got those, you're golden.

4. Smart

Intelligence is attractive. It's true. I want a guy who's smart but isn't conceited. He knows he knows a lot but he doesn't think he's better than everyone else. He doesn't have to be a genius. He could be really smart in one subject, or kind of smart in many subjects. I just want him to know a thing or two about a thing or two.

5. Hardworking

My guy needs to be ambitious. He needs to have goals that he works toward. He can't be lazy. I believe that it is primarily the man's duty to financially support his woman. This is most applicable in marriage, but it works in dating relationships, too. I don't want someone who is unable to provide for me. In order to do that, he needs to be able to provide for himself.

6. Cute

You knew I'd get to this! I'm not blind, after all. Trust me, I think it's important for a guy to be attractive. But it's not as important as everything listed above this. I've been told I have weird taste in guys in terms of looks. What I see as cute doesn't always line up with society's definition. The important thing is that I'm attracted to him. Physical attraction is important in a relationship. To be picky: I don't like facial hair or too much muscle. I do like chest hair and back muscles.

7. Creative

This can mean a lot of different things. He could draw, paint, write, sing, play an instrument, etc. As long as it shows that he's inclined to use the right side of his brain. I'm a writer, so I'm naturally more drawn to people who prefer creativity over logic.

8. Interested in Me

Despite being last, this is extremely important! Without this, none of the other things matter. It's just like every other crush I've ever had. Nothing different. Nothing special. While I've been able to find guys who exhibit the first seven qualities, the eighth has been much harder to come by. I've never been in a relationship, so I imagine it will be really wonderful when I eventually find someone who reciprocates my feelings.


Some people may think my standards are too high, but I refuse to lower them. I believe that God has someone out there for me who lives up to these standards and even exceeds them. I just have to be patient and trust His timing.

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The Friend You Like Romantically Doesn't Owe You Anything

The friend-zone can be escaped, but not in the way you might want
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We've all heard the story of the "friend-zone." Boy is in love with his best friend, she dates all the wrong guys and fails to notice how perfect he is, then eventually realizes how wrong she was and they live happily ever after.

I used to think that the friend-zone was a myth that lonely men created to feel better about themselves. But then I got friend-zoned myself.

Yes, it sucked, but the second I realized I had feelings for a friend (that I knew had no such feelings for me), I decided to suppress the feelings. When that wasn't enough, I cut them off for a bit, then, slowly, I felt OK. I could communicate with them without having unwanted romantic feelings pop up. I had escaped the friend-zone.

Having gone through that, I had more sympathy for someone I had to friend-zone a little while later. I had been friends with this guy for a few months. I didn't have many college friends yet and I was really lonely, so having his company really meant a lot at the time.

This caused me to not be able to see what should have been clear: he had a crush on me. When I finally made the realization, I immediately let him know that I didn't feel that way about him. He said it was OK, but I could tell it wasn't.

We didn't talk at all over the summer and when we came back for the fall semester, he would barely look at me. I had started dating his friend, which caused an even bigger rift between us.

Though I understand where he's coming from, I was also really mad at him for a long time.

It was as if he was only nice to me because he wanted romance in return. But people are not vending machines. You can't put in your "nice guy" coins and expect love, sex, or whatever the hell it is you want in return.

It hurt me to know that he only wanted romance and once that was off the table, he no longer wanted anything to do with me.

But then I thought back to the friend that had friend-zoned me. Unrequited affections really suck, especially when they're for someone that you spend a lot of time with. But the key is to work to escape it.

Yes, liking someone you're friends with and them not liking you back is a real thing, but people tend to treat the friend-zone like this mythic hell dimension that can never be escaped. But you can escape. Just maybe not in the way you'd like to.

Now there are three ways you can escape the friend-zone:

The first option is to confess your feelings and try to win them over. Now, this isn't completely unheard of. I've had friends that have dated people who had previously friend-zoned them, but it's extremely rare and risky. You have to risk your entire friendship in order to do this. If it doesn't work out, it could strain the friendship or sometimes break it beyond repair.

You can also do what my ex-friend did and completely cut the person off. If you're being a love-zombie and only doing nice things for the friend because you expect romance in return, leaving the situation might be the most healthy decision for you. I understand now that my friend might have stopped talking to me out of self-preservation. But it still hurts the people involved.

The third and final option is to just get over it. It's harsh, but it's real. Why try something you know is going to fail and cause pain to both sides? Yes, getting over crushes can be really difficult, but getting a normal friendship back rather than being stuck a love-zombie for them is worth the pain.

Whichever one you choose, just remember this: Your friends do not owe you any romantic affection. The work you put into making them happy should just come out of the goodness of your own heart. If you expect romance in return, you're not being a good friend to them. If you really care about them, don't put that kind of pressure on them. They don't want a mindless love-zombie that does their bidding for the hope that they'll get a tiny love kernel out of it. They just want a friend.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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