10 Things You Must Consider Before You Date Someone In The Military

10 Things You Must Consider Before You Date Someone In The Military

Starting a relationship with someone in the military is scary, but definitely worth it.

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Entering into a relationship with a man (or woman) in the military can be difficult especially if you are not the woman (or man) to put forth the work and time it will need in order for the relationship to work.

1. Can You Handle The Long Distance?

Long distance relationships can be tricky but being involved with a man in the military can be even trickier. Distance can be extremely tough on a person. As humans, we crave physical contact and we crave personal interactions with the individual in which we are seeing. Having this distance between the two of you can cause conflicts and issues, however, you have to look at the distance between you as a good thing. Distance can make your love or affection and the relationship you share grow even stronger.

2. Are You Committed To One Another?

Commitment plays a humongous role in maintaining a relationship with someone in the military. Being committed to someone over a long distance requires faith, trust, and patience. Commitment is being honest and loyal to that person no matter what happens. Whether there are bad times that arise you need to forgive them and not throw in the towel when things begin to get too hard.

Working through situations and problems together will bring you so much closer. We need to hold on to the people that we commit to and not give up on them and the relationship we share. Being in a long-distance relationship and dating a man in the military there are so many problems or bad days that can occur but if you are committed to him and what you two share then you can get through any of the tough times that come your way. You will get so much joy and happiness out of it in the end!

3. Do You Have Trust In Him?

Trust is extremely important. If you do not have trust in him then you do not have trust in the relationship. When he is in another state or he is countries away, you need to trust that he only has eyes for you alone and that he will be faithful to the love and relationship in which you have together. Trust in him to not give up even through the tough times and to always fight for the relationship you guys built just like he fights for our beloved country!

4. Are You Too Busy In Your Own Personal Life To Have Time For A Relationship?

Being in college or having a demanding job can overpower us and make individuals not only stressed but also super busy. Going to college and getting a higher education takes a lot of time commitment and work to fulfill the classes you need in order to get your degree. No matter if you are in college or have a hectic busy job, you need to find the time and make sure you do not put your relationship with your loved one on the back burner. Relationships take work and time commitment to maintain a healthy and loving relationship between the two of you.

If you are personally too busy to make that time for him and put in the effort you need to make the relationship work, then, in the end, it will crumble. Being in a military type relationship there will be many times in which you are both so busy that you might go days, weeks, months etc. without seeing each other and sometimes even getting the chance to talk to one another. That is where the loyalty, trust, love, and commitment to that person comes into play!

5. Do You Have Trust In Yourself?

Trusting him is one thing but having trust in yourself and the role that you play in the relationship is equally important as well.

If you do not have trust in yourself that you will stay faithful, loyal, committed etc. to him then your trust in him and the relationship will never happen. Trust in yourself to give the relationship your best shot and to always try your best within it.

6. Are You On The Same Page As Each Other?

When it comes to any relationship you need to make sure that you two are on the same page. You need to find time to discuss with one another where you are wanting the relationship to potentially lead etc. Let each other know where your boundaries are and personal believes within a relationship. Being on the same page about life and the journey you want to take and face together is extremely important and a huge aspect of having a long-lasting relationship together.

7. Is There A Time Difference? 

Being hours behind or ahead of one another can be tricky. Planning your days to where you have time set aside for the two of you is important. A time difference can cause complications when it comes to communicating together and when it comes to seeing each other. Remember to communicate with your partner and understand that time changes can be tricky at times but if you find a routine that works for you, stick with it and do not let it be a reason that conflicts arise within your relationship with him.

8. Are You Good At Planning? 

In order to maintain a healthy and lasting relationship you need to be able to plan accordingly with one another's schedules, time changes, distance etc. Having a plan will let you grow closer together and build a stronger foundation because drawing up a plan and then performing it showcases that you are giving this relationship your all and you are willing to make it work at whatever cost!

9. Conviction? 

Conviction or belief and assurance. No matter what branch of the military you go into you is making the selfless decision to fight for your country, keep it safe, and potentially risk your life for the sake of saving others. That to me shows that going into a relationship with him, no matter how hard it gets he will always fight for it and give me and our relationship his all!

10. Are You In This For The Long Haul?

When it comes to entering into a new relationship at this time in your life, looking for a simple boyfriend to pass the time is not what I am looking for. I am looking for a meaningful and hopefully lasting connection with a man that could possibly one day be my husband and go through the journeys of life with me. With a military relationship, you put in so much time, energy, commitment, trust etc. that it builds such a strong and lasting connection and bond between the two of you that you would not ever want to end.

Yes, having a man in the military is amazing and wonderful, but make sure that is not the only reason you are pursuing him. It is not the military that makes him the man I want to be with, but the man within him and his personality and love for life is! The way he acts goofy on facetime or when we talk about our love of our father, Jesus Christ. Him being in the Coast Guard is only a job I see. The fact that he decides to put his life on the line for others and protect our country with no hesitation or concern about himself is what makes him the man I want to be with! That is what makes him a wonderful man to have within our military!

Consider these questions if you are thinking about dating someone who either is already in the military or wants to be in the military. These relationships are so special but take a lot of work and dedication.

The reward of having him at the end of the day is better than any struggles you might face along the way!

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

31 One-Liners You Say To Your Boyfriend Before, After And During The Sunday Scaries Hit

Sunday scaries are much more intense that we like to believe.

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Ah Friday. The blessed day of the week that kicks off the wonderful weekend. You have it planned where you are going to tackle everything on your to do list. You're going to clean, you're going to do laundry and even have a special date night with your boo. Maybe even grab a couple drinks with some friends. No matter what, you are not letting the weekend go to waste. Then, before you know it,

Sunday hits.

It's as if the second you went to bed Friday night (or Saturday morning, I won't judge) it immediately skips over Saturday and you are left with one single day to get everything done. The Sunday scaries are real and if you feel the stress that comes with them, you've probably said these one-liners to your boyfriend at some point during the weekend.

Before

1. "Sunday scaries are a joke!"

2. You think just because it's 2 a.m. Sunday morning that we can't have another drink?"



3. "Babe, the laundry will get done, we have all weekend!"

4. "Let's go out with our friends tonight! We have plenty of time to clean the kitchen."

5. "What do you mean we should go home? It's not even midnight!"

6. "But, what if I never get a chance to sing "Man, I Feel Like A Woman" at a karaoke bar again!?"



7. "Oh don't worry, I'm not going to let the Sunday scaries stress me out!"

8. "I won't have a hangover tomorrow!"



9. "I'm a perfectly capable adult!"

During

10. "OMG, BABE WHAT DID I DO?"



11. "What do you mean I sang karaoke until 2 in the morning? I don't even like karaoke!"

12. "I had, HOW many drinks?"

13. "Babe, we NEED to get laundry done."

14. "Why is this house such a mess?"



15. "Why didn't you stop me?!"

16. "Please clean the bathroom, my head hurts too much."

17. "No, I do NOT have a hangover!"

18. "Baby, can we pleaseeee take a nap?" *Says while crying*



19. "I just wanted to have ONE *sobs* GOOD *sobs* NIGHT."

20. *blows nose in boyfriends shirt*"We have NO time to get anything done!"

21. "I'm never going out again!"



22. "I can't adult!"

After

23. "Well, I guess it wasn't THAT bad.."

24. "I mean, we made some progress, we have clean underwear!"



25. "I can see the floor, I think we did a lot today."

26. "You know what would be a great idea? Drinks."

27. "Can we order buffalo wings for dinner?"



28. "I still don't think I was that drunk."

29. "The Sunday scaries did NOT get me."

30. "We should do this again next weekend!"

31. "Adulting is easy!"


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Now That I'm About To Graduate, I Wish 'College Freshman Me' Knew These 7 Things About Love

Remember the love. Measure in love. Measure your life in love.

Dr King
Dr King
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December 7th, 2018, is the date that I along with over 2,000 students at UNC-Greensboro have been waited for quite literally for years. Now that the graduation ceremony is approximately 9 hours, 25 minutes, and 4 seconds away I can't help but lie awake in anticipation while reflecting on the different relationships I've had over the past four years no matter how impactful or minor.

I think if I could go back into the past to tell 18-year-old self from freshman year some lessons about love, here are 7 things I would say.

1. It’s okay to play the field

Until you actually find the person you want to be with, it's okay to date multiple people. I feel like women especially have a tendency to put all their eggs in one basket even before things get too serious. Some people are naturally more of the relationship and that's fine, but I wish I had known not to be too loyal to guys too soon before anything was clearly established.

2. But don’t play the field to the point where it bites you in the ass

Ladies, it should be a no-brainer that if you're going to talk to a few people at once, at least make sure they aren't in the same friend group. At a time it wasn't as much of a no-brainer for me though. There has only been one time where I purposely talked to multiple guys at once as if I was on a dating show like "The Bachelorette." If I could go back and warn myself to be smarter about the situation I would, seeing as I didn't have enough sense at the time not to chat with half the guys living on the same floor in the dorm that we all lived in. At the time I felt like it was pretty harmless, but eventually, I found that quite a few of them were salty about it.

3. Even “good guys” can have trash tendencies

Sometimes you'll be involved with a "good guy" because he's seemingly different than the rest. He may not be as tall as the other guys or have as muscular of a physique, but you know deep down that you can be happy with him because you know for certain he'll treat you right. Well, that's not always the case. There have been times where I went for the typical shy guy who didn't really get all of the girls because he was seen as "too nice." Unfortunately, there have been instances when they felt extra entitled to having me just because they were seen as good guys.

4. Sometimes you can literally speak relationships into existence

I am a firm believer that the power of our words is crucial, but now I'm an even more firm believer that our words work in terms of finding a boyfriend as well. One night as I moved into the apartment I stay at now, one of my closest friends stopped by to see me and he brought two of his friends along. I introduced myself to both of them, but I was definitely fixated on the Italian friend. Was it because he has the most distinct greenish/grey eyes I've ever seen? Maybe. However, there was this weird feeling I had that he was going to be my boyfriend which was insane considering that we probably only spoke to each other on no more than three or four occasions that night, one of them being when he asked me if he could use my bathroom. I even told one of my roommates right before I went to bed that night that he was going to be my boyfriend someday. Later my sister and I would see him almost every other week at the same two spots in the library and I would whisper to her, saying "I don't really know that guy and I don't even like him like that yet, but I'm pretty sure we're gonna be boyfriend and girlfriend one day." About six or so months later we started dating for real and not just in my head.

5. Having sex for the first time doesn’t necessarily have to be a negative experience

The first time I had sex was halfway through my junior year in college. Prior to this experience, I had heard all of the worst-case scenarios—"Don't expect it to be great," "It's gonna hurt," and "you're probably going to get attached" are among the top three things I constantly heard. Contrary to what I've heard all those years, my first time having sex was pretty good. I think part of the reason because it wasn't this scheduled thing with a romantic dinner and a movie beforehand or rose petals leading up to the bed at a precise time. It was very laid back and natural.

6. Trying to make your ex jealous may leave you stranded alone in a different state

I've mentioned this situation briefly before, but the only time in my life when I legitimately had a grand scheme to make an ex jealous didn't actually go as planned. I used my magic charm on two MMA coaches and finessed my way on a free trip to one of the MMA events in South Carolina where they would coach their clients. It didn't take long for them to realize I wasn't being genuine. One of the coaches insisted that I wasn't showing him enough affection and the other coach who I rode down to the event with completely went ghost and blocked me. If one of my close friends weren't there as well then I wouldn't have had a ride back home to North Carolina.

7. Chicks over dicks

With all of that being said, whether or not I'm in a full blown relationship or just casually dating someone, I will ALWAYS need my friends more than I need the dick so there's no need to stress over guys when the time I spend with my best girlfriends is the most fulfilling.

Dr King
Dr King

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