How To Tell If You’re Depressed Or Just Sad Over A Breakup

Breakups are heartbreaking. Literally. It's as though someone takes your heart and smashes it into pieces. The pain is unbearable and has honestly reverted me from giving my heart out to anyone. I wanted to steer clear of vulnerability, which is a huge aspect of love. It took a while until I could open myself up a pinch to my current boyfriend, and that took a lot of effort on his part to pry me open.

I'm still traumatized.

My breakup devastated me. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't do anything, but cry, shake, and hurt. I went through a wide range of emotions, even feeling the need for revenge–an emotion I'd never in a million years think I'd feel. My heart, body, and soul were broken, the pain was like no other. This was such a low time in my life that a portion of it, my mind has chosen to conceal from my recollection.

There is a multitude of reasons why breakups are so hard for people to go through. The experience of rejection, loss, failure, play with one's questioned confidence leaving him/her feeling empty. Nevertheless, clinical psychologist Russ Federman claims, "Sadness is a normal part of the range of emotions that humans typically feel."

However, when researching the "brain chemistry of being rejected" and parting from a past partner, there is a difference between depression and sadness. If you can be distracted from the agony of the breakup for a period of time, then you are sad and can easily pick yourself back up. This does not mean that your relationship meant nothing to you. Instead, it reveals that your emotional state will eventually equalize as your hormonal levels do the same. You can come to terms with the fact that your relationship ended for a reason. For the better. Another clinical psychologist Michael Brustein asserts, "But, ultimately, although you're sad, you still have your sense of self-intact and feel lovable—you're able to maintain the hope and belief that there will be somebody else." Grief is a normal reaction to a breakup (and can even last for weeks on end), but if you know there is a silver lining, then this is identified as post-breakup sadness.

Look at "Legally Blonde's" Elle Woods, after the demise of her relationship with Warner Huntington III, she got up, went to Harvard Law school, and realized that she is worth more than the fractured bond.

Nonetheless, after a breakup, one's emotions can fluctuate and drop dramatically as his/her levels of serotonin and dopamine–also known as the happy hormones–decrease. Both these neurotransmitters are associated with depression and, thus, can affect one's emotional and psychological state after a breakup. Depression is "a persistent, long-lasting mental health condition that interferes with daily life" and can surface as one's loss influences negative feelings. Post-breakup depression is linked to notions of hopelessness, worthlessness, loss of interest in relevant activities, alterations to appetite, and depleting energy. When one faces depression, he/she no longer has hope for the future. Psychologist Chloe Carmichael maintains that "When somebody literally abandons you... sometimes the message that we hear is 'I didn't value you enough to have you in my life.' That can be a hit on your self-worth." If you suffer from these impressions, then you have to ensure you don't isolate yourself. This will only make things worse.

Anyone's post-breakup sadness can morph into depression.

In the manner of Elle Woods, laying in in bed, devouring chocolate to soothe her angered soul, and lashing out on friends are symptoms of post-breakup sadness–these are ordinary emotional responses. With the exercise of repeated, positive affirmations, she gained back her positivity and self-esteem. Her faith in herself became a grounded habit.

Yet, as Dr. Brustein intelligibly clarifies, "If you start to feel defective as a result of the breakup — you start judging your entire sense of self-based on the breakup—that's a sign that it's leading to significant distress."

Good thing is, you can always rise up from a breakup, even if you are undergoing post-breakup depression. With professional help, treatment, and guidance, you can regain your faith in yourself and your future, including but not limited to your ensuing lovers.

I'm a huge believer that everything happens for a reason. Each experience molds you into a stronger, more resilient individual; hence, every breakup will elicit an assortment of miserable sentiments, but it's all worth it in the end. This may be impossible for an individual facing depression to acknowledge right this minute, but hopefully one day they will be able to.

I personally recovered from my particular depressive thoughts that I will never find someone else or that there is no prospect for my love life, but I needed crucial assistance to crawl out of my degrading opinions.

For all that, it is possible to recover from post-breakup agony.

Never shy away from receiving help, please call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Once You Become My Ex, Please Know I Never Want Another Text From You Again

Block my number. I've already blocked yours.


Growing up, it was always super important to me to end a relationship on good terms, at least as best as I could. I was friends with pretty much all of my exes, whether we talked frequently or not. It just made things easier in a small town with one high school.

I had it all wrong, though.

The truth is, I don't want to be your friend if we break up. Hell, I don't even want you to text me. There's no reason for it.

Be up in arms all you want at the "pettiness" or "drama" of this if that's what you want to do, I don't really care either way. Each relationship I've experienced in my lifetime has a specific place in my past, but that's exactly where they'll stay: my past. Every ex has their own designated chapter in a closed book.

When you end on terms that are even remotely OK, it's easy to stay checked in into each other's lives, whether that's texting or following them on social media. Something reminds you of them and you both text and reminisce about it, you congratulate them on a Facebook post, you watch their Snapchat and Instagram stories.

I don't care if you think we ended on good terms or not, don't check up on me. Don't tell me you hope I'm doing well. Don't try to contact me at all, frankly.

We're not friends. We were a couple, but now we're not. Any form of a relationship between the two of us ceased to exist the moment we ended our relationship. I'm not in high school anymore, I'm not still in that small town. I don't need to be your friend and keep up appearances to ensure the friend group still feels like nothing's really changed or to make everyone feel comfortable when we're both around.

So who are we kidding? There's just no reason for you to interact with me in any capacity. I don't need to be checked up on. I don't need you to text me for any reason, ever. Trust me, I'm doing just fine.

To all of my exes, you've held a significant place in my life, sure.

But your friendship isn't crucial to my happiness anymore.

I learned how to be just fine without you, so it's time for you to do the same.

I don't need the pleasantries, so just forget them. It's fine and all that maybe they matter to you, but they don't to me. I can promise you that I don't want to hear from you. I don't want to know how you've been, I don't want to know what you've been up to.

I've moved on. I don't need you in my life anymore, and frankly, I don't want you in it. I don't need to be your friend. So don't follow me on Twitter, delete me from your Snapchat, and block my number. I've already blocked yours.

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To My Best Friend Dealing With A Broken Heart, We'll Get Through This Together

I can't actually fill that void.


To my best friend dealing with a broken heart,

It won't last forever.

Your heart, scratch that—you—will heal. You're already strong, but you'll become tougher. You're already smart, but you'll become wiser. You're already sexy, but you'll become even more irresistible.

And I'll be here the entire time. I can't wait to see who you become.

It won't be easy. I'm not going to sugar coat it and say that you'll be smiling and confidently strutting the streets by tomorrow. You have everything you need, but if your heart needs some time, take it. There's no rulebook. Honestly, I don't know how I got out of my rut, but I did and now I'm here. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I cried on end, but my support group–you–helped me through it one day at a time. Don't stress about what other people think—even me, forget my thoughts! Focus on you. What does your body need? What does your soul need?

I'm sorry. I wish I could take away this pain.

There's nothing that can compare to this feeling and I know I can't actually fill that void—no one can, other than you.

You never think it'll happen to you.

You had the future planned out. You shared your deepest darkest secrets. You both shared, I love you's and genuinely meant it. Of course, there were happy times. It was all real. I won't bash your ex unless you need me to (personally, I cringe anytime someone speaks badly of my ex... at the end of the day, I loved that man) but, just know, you did everything you could.

It wasn't meant to be and, one day, you will find your happily ever after. That love will be greater than anything you can ever imagine.

I'm not going to sit here and let you mope. The memories will never fade, but at this moment, forget about the past and the future, only the now. If you are angry, punch a wall, but steer away from feeling regret. Nothing in life is worth regretting over. It is all lessons-learned and adventures to remember later on.

This will pass and you will laugh about it. When I heard that for the first time, I wanted to scream, I could never laugh at the situation, but here I am now. You lost someone and that's never easy, but you've also gained so much experience.

You are gorgeous and breathtaking, you better start believing it because anyone would be so lucky to have you in their life.

Today, you start loving yourself.

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