I was talking to a guy that I met on Tinder. It’s the typical story. We met up and dated for a while. I thought we had so much in common but we were different enough to really work. We texted all day. He called me when he needed me, just as I requested. I love feeling needed and special and I did with him. Everything was great and I was comfortable.
He warned me that he would become a lot busier and that he wouldn’t be available as much. I was okay with that and was willing to wait. Separation never bothered me. I would be able to make it work. After all, I had been single for so long and that was annoying, so anything would be better than that.
He did get busy and I couldn’t be mad; I knew it was coming. It wasn't ideal but it was totally fine and nothing felt wrong about it. We texted, called and did what we could, with short little meetups here and there.
That was until he never responded at all and left me wondering what happened.
I was patient, which is not something I’m typically good at. In the back of my mind, I had a creeping suspicion that I was being ghosted, which, for me, was new. I hadn’t ever put myself out there enough to reach that point. My heart is something I hold very close.
I had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that he ghosted me. It wasn’t like my pride was crushed, I’m not a prideful person. It was just such a foreign feeling to me. I knew he was busy, so I figured that was the problem.
It had been days of me saying to my friends, “He’ll respond." Days turned into weeks and the denial went away. He wasn’t going to and I was ghosted. I knew it in my heart, but something was preventing me from saying it aloud. I finally said the words I was afraid of and I felt so much better.
Being ghosted sucks, there's no denying that. However, saying it aloud makes it official and it's refreshing to be able to identify with something so many girls I know have talked about. It's like when someone says they want their heart broken so that they know how to compare it to everything else. I never understood that until now.
It happens to all of us.
Honestly, being ghosted may be one of the things that connects all women together. There’s nothing wrong with us. There’s no flaw in the female system that makes us unable to be responded to.
It’s natural and it will keep happening until one day it just doesn’t.