5 people Explained Why They strongly believe in blocking An ex after a breakup
2702
views

You hear people say they're friends with their exes all of the time. That's what society has conditioned into us: be civil, be polite, end things on a good note without regrets. But that's not always what should happen. That's not always healthy for you.

We were blessed with a block button for a reason. Creating distance is crucial to recovery in a breakup, whether the relationship was healthy or toxic. It's given the reputation of being "childish" and "immature," but taking yourself out of a painful situation is necessary and beneficial to your life. Here's what five people have to say in defense of slamming that block button after a relationship ends.

1. You need that complete disconnection.

"If it ended in a negative or a rough way then you need that complete disconnection from them in order to move on from the relationship. Not just so they can't see you, but so you can't see them. You won't fully move on if you keep checking on them constantly. I don't think it's petty to remove someone from your Internet life once they've already been removed from your personal one."

2. You're likely to see them every time you log in.

"It's part of the healing process I think. It's not easy going through a breakup, you don't need it worsened by seeing your ex on social media every time you log in. The algorithms on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc, work in a way that boosts those who you interact with frequently to the top of your page. Coming out of a relationship, you're likely to keep seeing them every time you log in. If you're a worrier like me, every time you see them post you'll wonder, 'Why aren't they miserable?' or 'Why wasn't I enough?'"

3. Your heart cannot heal the way it deserves to.

"Your heart cannot heal the way it deserves to if you're subjected to your ex's every day life. The pain of watching them go to your favorite places without you, finding someone new, or using their social media to potentially manipulate you is. Not. Worth. it. You need to heal in peace, especially if you're coming out of an abusive or toxic relationship. Removing all that negativity from your life is integral to the healing process. Life goes on, but it won't feel like that if you keep living in the past keeping tabs on your ex on social media. Don't feel bad about it, don't let them make you feel bad about it. Know it's okay to take care of yourself after a relationship ends and click that block button."

4. Out of sight, out of mind.

"It's best for your healing and happiness to block an ex. My ex was very emotionally abusive, controlling and manipulative, and that continued even after our breakup. I decided that in order for me to move on and heal I needed to block him. I didn't want to see any of his social media and I didn't want him to see mine. I found myself unable to receive the closure I needed with him, and each time we contacted each other I would find myself feeling worse. I blocked him on everything and felt a million times better. Out of sight, out of mind. Some people are better left in the past."

5. You want to live your own life.

"I think if your relationship was strained and you just want that negativity out of your life or you think they're not getting the message that you want things to be over, then it's reasonable to block their number. In your defense, you want to live your own life without having to worry about someone else always checking in on how you're doing if you don't want them in your life."

Blocking gets a negative connotation because it's deemed as immature and it's assumed that all relationships end in a semi-healthy way. That's just not the case. Sometimes, the best form of closure is none at all. Sometimes, you just need to slam that block button as hard as you can and work to rediscover who you were without them in your life.

It doesn't mean you're immature, it doesn't mean you care enough to block them. It means you care enough about yourself to not continually see and speak to them. Do what's best for you and your wellbeing.

Cover Image Credit:

Unsplash

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

To The Guy Who Ghosted Me, You Broke Me Into Nothing By Saying Nothing, But Now I'm Bouncing Back

You betrayed me in a way I expected from any other guy but you

559
views

I thought I hit the jackpot. I thought it would take me quite some time to find someone to replace the guy I lost, who I didn't want to lose. I thought no one would come close to him, but that's when I met you. You made me forget about the pain of the past with your comforting words. You were so real, you have gone through your own sets of trials, been through hell and back in many aspects of life, and you were there to talk to me and feed me warm, happy maple syrup feelings I didn't think I'd feel again so soon.

You drip honey, so sticky on the inside but so innocent on the outside, upon first glance.

I gave in to you in every sense. I opened up, I told you things I don't like telling people, especially a random guy I'd just met. You're the kind of guy a girl can look at and say, "Wow, this is going to suck when you leave." You weren't supposed to leave.

I was the girl who wasn't a psycho like your exes, but you couldn't handle something too real, too tame. Your thrill for psychotic bitches is your downfall. I was going to ask you about where we stood and prove doubters wrong. You were the boy I wanted to bring home in a few months time, to meet my family, to meet all of my friends, but you never gave me the chance. You left me to plans that you knew would never happen. You betrayed me in a way I expected from any other guy but you and ripped out a part of me I don't think I'll ever get back.

I trusted you to a fault because I'm someone who always looks for the benefit of the doubt in a situation. I cut you slack, I gave you chances to tell me the truth. You owed me the truth and all I got was you watching my stories on Snapchat, an answer without words. You bought me flowers and candy for Valentine's Day and made me pasta twice because you knew I loved it. You let me meet your dog. How dare you do things for me to treat me like something so disposable? Did I ever even matter? I felt something so real, a cosmic connection, and you broke it with ease. You broke me into nothing by saying nothing, but now I'm bouncing back.

I may not be making any leaps or bounds at the moment, but I'm going to get back out there. It's unfortunate that you defiled the trust I had, but I'm not going to let that stop me from opening up to anyone else. It's just going to be a rougher road to walk on since you've taken the smooth exterior away. It took me days before I could really cry over you. I cried hot tears of true pain, that burned my face when they fell. That being said, those tears have stopped now. I prayed over getting you back, asking those watching over me to reverse what's written for me, to give me you again, to have you give me an answer.

You're not supposed to be with me. I'm not supposed to be with you. You're another step closer to who I'm supposed to be with. Maybe it's you, just down the line when you get it together, but I certainly am not holding my breath for you or anyone else who hurts me ever again.

You ghosted me, and now you're a part of the list of boys who have done the same thing. Your ghosting stung a lot and left me more vulnerable than usual. But I'm not letting you and your lack of respect for me prevent me from moving on. I won't see you around, except on Snapchat, watching my stories while I watch yours. I'm writing this for me as I heal and look forward to the day ambulance sirens and the sound of saying your name in conversations stops hurting me.

OMG, check these out

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Hey Little Sis, Heartbreaks Are Rough, But I Promise You That It's Going To Be OK

I've been there — we've all been there — and it sucks, but it's not the end of the world, I promise.

788
views

Dear Little Sister,

I know this sucks. Heartbreak is hard. Your first relationship lasted much longer than mine did, so I can only imagine how much more it hurts right now. I get it. But, you aren't alone in what you're feeling. So, here is my best advice for you.

Your feelings are completely valid

It does not matter if you broke up with him, or if you're still young, or anything anyone else wants to say. Your feelings are valid because they are what you are feeling. No one has the right to tell you what to feel—you have a right to feel your feelings fully.

Keep your chin up

You are a complete person all on your own—you don't need no man! You are great the way you are, and strong enough to get through it all.

Stay positive

This relationship didn't work out? That's OK! You're that much closer to finding the one that will. Mom's right—this just teaches you more of what you do or don't want in a relationship.

Don't jump into another relationship right away

I know you're used to having someone there, and the company and support are great. But don't let someone you care about become a rebound. If they really care about you, they'll wait until you're sure of yourself again. You deserve time to yourself.

You're going to learn who your real friends are—lean on them.

If your friends feel the need to pick sides over your relationship ending, they probably weren't really your friends to start with. Your friend circle is going to shrink a little, but that's OK. It's best to know who is there for you now. And while you're leaning on your friends, don't forget you can lean on your family. I know when you're 15 it can be hard to relate to your parents, but I promise you they care about you.

If you want to chill with Ben & Jerry for a while, that's cool

Puns completely intended. But, go ahead and eat the ice cream (there's no reason not to). You deserve it.

Do not forget your worth

You are beautiful and smart and kind. You deserve the best. Live your best life, my dear.

I know I don't have all the answers, but I hope this helps. I am always here for you.

I love you,

Your big sister

OMG, check these out

Facebook Comments