You don’t know me, and I certainly don’t know much about you, but I’m sorry that I had to learn about the status of your relationship under these circumstances.
There are two sides to every story, and whether or not you choose to believe mine is not my primary concern. I know what happened and how the events transpired, and that’s the best I can offer you.
Your boyfriend didn’t initially lie to me about being in a relationship. After getting to know him, I’d become aware that you were in his life (and had been for some time), so I didn’t attempt to pursue him. (Girl's not tryna homewreck, you feel? I'm not about that life.) In fact, we talked about you many times, and he seemed serious about your relationship.
But after one big fight, your boyfriend decided to play the field. Before he did, I made sure to ask about you—multiple times. Each time, he told me you'd broken up, and I had to take his word for it, mainly because we don't run the same social circles. For weeks, he told me things I wanted to hear while you were left in the dark, wondering how or where he was spending his nights.
I can’t change the past, but I do know that people who cheat once don’t often change.
When I was in my first relationship, my then-boyfriend cheated on me numerous times. The only reason I kept finding myself back with him was because I wanted to find success in my first relationship, even though it became long distance one month into the making and was destined for failure. However, throughout that complete sh*t show of a life experience, I learned many things about myself and him as well.
I learned that every time he broke up with me, it was because he had begun seeing another girl. Every. Single. Time. Don’t question why we got back together so many times; it was a rough year for me, OK?
My point is that I eventually recognized this pattern, and after three or four breakups, I’d ask who the new girl was, and he’d willingly tell me. However, most girls are either (1) not dumb enough to accept a year’s worth of anxiety and emotional abuse; or (2) oblivious to the fact that their boyfriend is cheating on them.
I consider myself lucky to have been aware of what my ex was doing, even though I so stupidly chose to go back to him each time. (Not the point.) And what I’ve realized over the years is that if I’d never caught on to his sh*tty ways, I would’ve wanted someone to tell me about his cheating a**, rather than live under the naïve assumption that he was faithful to me and our relationship.
The tricky part is that I know not everyone feels the same way. I've been debating the pros and cons of reaching out for weeks now, but maybe this article will somehow find its way to you and set things right.