To My Boyfriend, Thank You For Making Me Love Myself Before I Could Ever Love Anyone Else

To My Boyfriend, Thank You For Making Me Love Myself Before I Could Ever Love Anyone Else

I truly respect and admire the way that you love yourself, because it truly allows you to be the best version of yourself all the time.

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My love,

I remember the first time I ever spoke to you quite clearly. I was only 18, and I was pretty clueless about most things in life, especially love. From the very first moment we started talking, you instilled a sense of calmness and trust in me that I had never felt before in my life. I knew right then and there that I could trust you and talk to you about my deepest, darkest secrets, and that not only would you keep them, but you would also be right there for me if I ever needed you. And then I needed you.

I'm not really going to go into a lot of detail at this time, but I was in trouble, and I really didn't feel like I could get out of it on my own. For days and weeks on end I came to you, asking you what you thought I should do, but you never really gave me a straightforward answer. You didn't want to make my own decisions, and so I gradually learned how to make them by myself. Every single time I spoke to you, I became stronger. You empowered me to become a better version of myself back then, and you still do to this very day.

At that point in my life, self-love was something I didn't quite understand, and to be completely honest with you, I didn't really have it at all. I thought I was ready to love you, and I like to think you were also ready to love right then. But you knew deep in your heart that I wasn't quite ready yet, simply because I didn't love myself. And if I didn't love myself, I would keep trying to rely on you to reassure me that I was worthy of being loved. The point here is that you didn't want that. You wanted me to be able to truly feel like I was worthy, with or without you by my side.

You just let time flow and you let me heal. You let me bloom and you watched me mature and grow so much in what feels like so little time now. And then, when I felt secure enough, I built up the courage to tell you that I loved you, and right after that happened, you asked me if I was sure. You really wanted to make sure I was okay with the choices I was making, and that made me feel incredibly protected. After that, I proceeded to tell you I loved you once again, and you finally answered that you loved me too.

Fast-forward to this day, three and a half years after all that played out, and I can honestly say I love you even more than I did that day. I truly believe that my love for you keeps on growing every single day, and that's only because of the fact that for over a thousand days you've taught me how to love myself, even on the hardest of days. And I'm not saying this lightly. I truly respect and admire the way that you love yourself because it truly allows you to be the best version of yourself all the time.

Now, that being said, I'm definitely not saying that I've learned all there is to know about self-love, and probably neither have you. But what I will say is that I want to keep learning about myself, about you, and about us as a couple for the rest of my life. I really believe that I'm the best version of myself when I'm with you, and I really love who we are when we're together. I can only hope that you will continue to choose me the way you've chosen me for the last couple of years, and if there's one thing I can assure you, it's that I choose you and I love you today, just like I have for quite a while now. I don't know what the future will bring, but if it's anything like the time I've spent with you, I already know it's going to be wonderful.

Thank you for absolutely everything you've ever done for me and taught me.

With love,

Your girlfriend.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

An Open Letter To The Girl In A Toxic Relationship Who Doesn't See The Signs To Let Go

"it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing" -R.H Sin

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Dear you,

I hope you're doing well. I once thought I was too. I once thought that if he would just change, for me, everything would work. However, my sweet girl, you should not have to change people, you should not have to push people to be better, for you. You cannot help anyone, that does not want to help themselves.

In the movies, we learn to love a bad boy that needs changing. However, it isn't always your job to be boys saving grace. However, his shaming and emotional abuse is not just something you should put up with so that you can love him. That is not loving.

Love is not a constant competition of who could belittle the other one first. Love is not asking for a hug and being told no. Love does not make you feel stupid for bringing up things that hurt your feelings.

Love does not grow angry because you talk to your mom about your feelings. Love does not body shame. Love does not constantly change the passcode to their phone.

Love does not laugh when you find out they're unfaithful. Love does not tell you that you are not smart enough to accomplish anything. Love does not force their hand up your thigh when the words "no" slip out of your mouth.

Love is the warmth of a hand on your cheek when you get anxious. Love is getting your backpack out the car for you. Love is turning around when you need them. Love compromises.

Love is encouraging. Love is proud. Love is forgiving. Love sees you for who you are. Love knows you are worthy.

God is your Father and you are His daughter, so do not believe for one second that this abuse is the love you think you deserve.

Love will not always be easy. Love will be challenging and a constant prayer to not anger so quickly.

However, do not mix up challenging with the abuse. If you are losing the good pieces of yourself, then it isn't love. I know that you put a lot of time and effort into this relationship, but it is no good, you are holding on to someone whose heart is not in the right place to love you.

I connected with a poem from R. H. Sin, once I left my toxic relationship which reads, "it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing."

Darling girl, you are so loved by so many people, do not let this relationship hold you back or make you feel less worthy than you are. I have always been the girl with her nose stuck up in the air smelling for smoke, to follow the trail to a burning house to find a boy that needed saving, but it is more than likely a boy that lit the fire in the first place and needs changing.

So, do not be me, be better. Be the girl that lights her own world on fire, for her work, for her family, for God. You are you and you are amazing, so do not fear being without him.

You will feel as if you have come up for air after drowning in an ocean that you had no idea you were swimming in.

The emotional abuse that this boy has put you through and maybe even physical abuse will leave you building walls around your heart. It will make other relationships hard, but you are so so strong.

You will meet someone that makes you so happy and feel so easy to love, you will never understand how you stuck around with the one that hurt you for so long.

You deserve to grow from this, and I promise you will.

Let go.

xoxo,

The girl who learned from a toxic relationship

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Being Far Away From My Boyfriend Actually Strengthened Our Relationship Instead Of Forcing It Apart

While we were apart, we became closer.

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Before I really start this article, I just want to say that my relationship isn't truly a long distance relationship. We are both college students at the same university eight months out of the year, but the other four months we live quite a distance apart. Even during those four months, we are only about 150 miles from each other as the bird flies, but really about three hours from each other.

Being in a relationship where I'm not able to see my boyfriend every day or even every week has been a real challenge. But it's been a good challenge. It hasn't been a challenge because I've felt unfaithful or fallen out of love with him in any way. It's challenging because I miss him. We both work jobs and our schedules aren't the same and oftentimes we aren't able to talk to each other unless it's early in the morning or late at night. There are times when all I want to do is talk to him and tell him about how my day went and get a big bear hug from him. Unfortunately, I'm not really able to do this.

I firmly believe that being apart from each other for days, weeks, or even months have brought us closer than we could've ever imagined. We knew that this would be difficult, and we knew that there would be bad days, but we decided to power through it. It has made each time that we are able to see each other so much more special and meaningful.

Seeing each other has become more of spending time with each other than just laying around on the couch playing around on our phones. It's become really getting to know each other better and catching up on all the things we had missed. It's become a time for us to simply be in each other's presence and enjoy being able to talk face to face without a phone in the middle of us. We go on more adventurous dates, we take more pictures, and I think we would both easily say that we fall more and more in love with each other after each opportunity we have to spend time together.

Spending time together is no longer a daily activity, but it has become a right to be earned through hard work and several paychecks as travel can become expensive. We no longer take opportunities to see each other for granted, and it has made us grow closer because we aren't able to spend time together often. We look forward to the days when we won't have to worry about being apart but know that this is only a stepping stone in our relationship.

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