Boys, Please Find A Better Way To 'Shoot Your Shot' Than Buying Us Shots

Boys, Please Find A Better Way To 'Shoot Your Shot' Than Buying Us Shots

Girls' perspectives on 9 moves boys do that ruin their shot with them.
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I asked some friends of mine, along with pulling from my own experiences, what are the most cringing and unattractive moves guys have done towards us, while mostly out at bars, that ultimately turned us off from them completely.

Here is a brief list of things boys do that us girls aren't okay with– unless we are into it– which would be verbally confirmed.

1. Staring, lurking or stalking.

Hi, we can almost always see a guy lurking and staring us down– and myself, along with the girls I talked to agree that it isn't flattering, it's just uncomfortable.

Another is lurking or stalking in order to hit on us. It's creepy if someone is hanging around much pass their welcome just to hit on us– just look us up and DM like everyone else.

2. Expressing your feelings to us right away.

Don't spill your feelings after just meeting us. Whether it's been a minute, a day, or a week– telling us too soon can freak any girl out.

3. Following us around at bars if we are obviously trying to get away from you.

If you hear us say any of these lines:

"I need to go to the bathroom"–even though I may have already gone 5 times in the past hour.

"I'm going to the bar"–even though I have a full drink in my hand.

"I need to find my friends."

Take a hint and leave us alone.

4. Telling us how much you get it in, and then expect us to want to go home with you.

If we don't ask, we don't care how often you can get laid.

Unless we ask, sharing your sexual experiences with us won't make us want to sleep with you.

If you can get it in so much, then it will be easy for you to find someone new to try and get with.

5. Assuming that because we let you buy us a shot or drink we want you.

You literally don't have to buy us a drink or shot– it's your choice if you do or not.

Personally, I don't know how many times I have had a drink bought for me, and the guy expected that meant he could touch my ass or take me home.

@ the guy who recently yelled at me in the bars for not wanting to hook up AND the other stranger I had to lie and yell, "I'm on my period" so he would stop bothering me about trying to hook-up.

6. Getting pissed– or actually yelling– because we don't want to go home with you.

If we speak to you at a bar– it does not mean we want to go home with you.

If I give you an ounce of attention– it does not mean I am willing to give you attention after bar close back at your apartment.

Don't get pissed, get defensive, or call us names because you read into something.

7. Lying about sex.

You are guaranteed to miss your shot if you:

Tell people we have had sex if we haven't.

Make-up fake hook-up stories.

Don't make the hook-up stories sound legit, so we can easily spot the lies.

8. Call us hoes if you don't even know us.

"What's up, hoe?"

"All the hoes are out tonight!"

If you are a stranger and try to spark conversation by calling us hoes, or any other offensive name, get out.

9. Using your dog, scary movies, or expressing your love for cuddling to try and win us over.

Don't use your cute, innocent dog as a reason to get us to try and come over.

Don't insist we watch scary movies so you can "scare us into your arms"– quote from a guy recently hooked up with.

Don't use cuddling as a pawn to try and convince us to hook-up with you.

"Come over and see my dog, then we can watch a scary movie and cuddle"– we all know what your intentions are, you don't have to try so hard, Tinder boy.

Cover Image Credit: Kate Alexander

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I Am A Hopeless Romantic Living In A World Where One-Night Stands Are The Norm

It's the little things.

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In today's society, it can certainly start to feel like no one takes love seriously anymore.

Whether it's that one couple who has broken up and gotten back together more times than you can count, the two friends-with-benefits no one can figure out, your local womanizer, or just hookups in general, love and lust are a huge part of specifically college life and culture.

As a hopeless romantic, being part of a generation that "just wants to have fun" can be really frustrating, especially when you just want to find something real. It is so easy for people to put on a fake act just to get what they want and sometimes this can be extremely hard to see through. I'm sure we've all had some kind of incident with someone who played nice but had ulterior motives and the sad truth is that it can be impossible to recognize a person's artificiality.

I am a hopeless romantic.

I have always classified myself as such, and it has remained true. Sure, I can make the most of the freedoms I have as a single college woman, but deep down I just want to find my person.

I've had my fair share of letdowns, and I think we all have, but being a hopeless romantic makes it that much more difficult to get past the "what ifs" and fantasies that come along with starting something with someone new. We may already have our hearts set on a person when they decide they've gotten what they wanted and leave.

For me, I find myself caught up in the little things that someone does. I have always been someone who picks up on small details in situations, and sometimes this works against me.

I pick up on the small facial expressions that he may not even realize he is making; the ones that tell you when their guard has been let down, even just for a split second.

I pick up on the way he sits our two cellphones side by side on the nightstand, taking care to line them up perfectly as if that's just their spot.

I pick up on the short moments of laughter where he actually lets himself laugh and forgets about the act.

I pick up on things, and sometimes I end up hurting because of it.

When it comes down to it, though, I wouldn't change the way that I am. I wouldn't change the fact that I find myself in the search for more in a society that mostly only offers me less.

The trait that tends to hurt me most is also the one that I value most. Even if noticing all the little things is something that contributes to my own heartache, I love those moments. There is something beautiful about those tiny things shared by two people, even if the connection ends there.

Sure, it can be hard. But so can everything.

It's just a matter of finding the beauty.

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Dedicate Your Summer To Bettering Yourself For Yourself, Not Your Ex

Why waste energy on an ex who doesn't care about you anymore?

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I'm single for the summer (yet again, no shock there) but this summer there's something in the air that just feels different. It's the feeling of true acceptance of my single status.

Last summer I was single when I really didn't want to be. My heart with still holding out for a guy who wasn't interested in anything more than my friendship. It took me from late March all the way until Halloween to get over those feelings. However, while working through those tough feelings that summer, I came to enjoy my time on my own and not talking to anyone except my best friends. I didn't have to worry about when I'd get a text back, or if I'd be left on read, or who he'd be out with since I wasn't around. The only thing I needed to worry about was my paychecks and tan lines.

Sometimes after breaking things off with someone who you put so much effort into, whether it was a boyfriend, an almost relationship, or even a friend with benefits, it's easy to want to show off on social media and make them regret ever hurting you or ending things. Why? It's a nice little ego boost, sure, but after those few seconds of glee from the fact that you know they've seen and maybe even liked your picture or your tweet, or saw your story on Snapchat, do you still feel happy? No, you go right back to feeling like crap, whether you want to admit it or not. Stop making yourself all about them when that ship has sailed and start being all about you.

Your ex is off doing their own thing, maybe thinking about you, but obviously not enough to want you back in their life the way you used to be. They are probably out there finding a new person to take your spot because they don't have you at their beck and call anymore. If they're also showing off to show you how much better they are without you or to make you jealous...why are you still following them or still participating in this sick little game for attention? Grow up and block them so you don't have to keep seeing their posts, or be adult enough to stop if you're doing the same as well. If it's only you posting, chances are you just look stupid, so stop before you really embarrass yourself. I was that person, and I know first hand how embarrassed I am for acting the way I did.

Summer is synonymous for doing whatever the hell you want. Wear what you want, say what you want, and be the best version of yourself that only a high dose of Vitamin D can bring out. Your ex is an ex for many reasons. You have to set aside the summer for you and what benefits you only. Don't concern yourself with an ex who doesn't care in the least about you anymore. Coming from someone who posted thirst traps aimed at a specific person along with countless shady AF stories on Snap and Insta in the hopes that this one person and their friends would see it, just stop and save yourself the energy as well as regret.

We're all adults, it's time to stop the petty posts and photos. Post your thirst trap for yourself because you're a sexy queen who doesn't need anyone but herself. Once you start focusing on yourself this summer, instead of your ex, you'll realize just have great it feels to truly be free.

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