To my friend who won't stop complaining about being single:
For the love of God, will you ever knock it off or will we have to knock you out? We get it: you are so, so, so single. But, do you want to know why you still have not been cuffed yet? I am about to lay it all out on you. You are going to hear the brutally honest reasons why I think you're still alone. I'm sorry if it's too true that it hurts. It's time you hear the 11 truths.
1. You keep chasing after that certain person even though we all know it will never happen
You know it's time to give it up, so why won't you? Repeat after me: IT'S NOT HAPPENING.
2. Your pity parties are preventing you from actually finding someone
Oh, get over yourself. No one likes a whiney person. Let's be a little more upbeat, okay?
3. You still have not learned to appreciate yourself first
First of all, you need to love yourself like Kanye loves Kanye. You can't go around expecting someone else do that for you.
4. You're too busy being picky that the one for you already got away
Honey, it is going to take a miracle to find someone as wonderful as Chris Hemsworth. I'm not saying that you should lower your standards, but it would help being a little bit more realistic.
5. You lose interest way before you get the chance to get to know to person
I get that sometimes you just don't vibe with someone, but that can't be the case all the time. Try a little harder, maybe?
6. Your friend group always gets in the way of your potential relationships
They tend to have their own opinions. These opinions usually affect your
decisions. Your friends might mean well, but they don't always know
what's best for you.
7. You let others tell you what do rather than following your own gut
It's one thing to ask for advice, but depending on your friends every time to make you a "thing" work? Hmm, maybe not the best idea.
8. Your personal issues are holding you back because you still have not overcome them
Shut up about your commitment and trust issues. Don't we all have them? You just need to find the right person.
9. You don't speak up for yourself, so you get pushed around
You have to voice yourself out more. Let them know what you want. Don't let them give you less when you deserve more.
10. You're not willing to put yourself out there
Alright, you're not going to get anywhere by hiding in your room and just watching Netflix all day during your free time. You need to get out there and experience life.
11. You won't shut up about being so single and it's making your situation worse by the second
We know you're lonely, so no need to say it a million times. You're pushing away some opportunities for yourself.
So, you've heard the ruthless reasons. No offense. It's nothing personal. I want the best for you. It's just that you really needed to hear it.