You guys are kind of an on-and-off sort of thing. You have ~amazing~ times together and his attention makes you feel so special, but your fights are ridiculously aggressive and you always end up being the only one who gets hurt. He builds you up and treats you like a queen, only to knock you down and repeat the cycle again. He controls whether or whether not you end up seeing each other and you just wait around for his texts messages.
You're getting a little sick to your stomach reading how accurate this is.
Your friends have talked to you about him a million times and you never listen or, you tried to listen but didn't commit to it and went right back to the pattern of an unhealthy relationship. I know that saying its hard to let go of him is an understatement.
We've all been there a couple thousand too many times. We are so hopeful its going to work out and turn out for the better and that he is going to change this time but he isn't the issue: you are. You are waiting on something that isn't right for you and you are letting yourself get beat up over it. Remove yourself from the situation!
Sometimes we love someone so much that we believe that they can change for us. If that person doesn't love you back the same amount, they aren't going to change for you. If you've asked him to change and he doesn't, he isn't going to.
When you beg and plead with him, he knows that you are going to wait on him. He'll feed you whatever bullshit you need to hear from him in that moment and then go back to exactly how he was before.
Go to the store, buy yourself some flowers, and talk to people who appreciate you. You do not have to sell yourself short because someone is knowingly taking advantage of your kindness.
If you don't take care of yourself, they will recognize this and mistreat you for as long as you allow yourself to be mistreated.
There are guys out there who want your attention, and you probably can't realize it because of the unhealthy relationship that you are in.
Treat your heart kindly and others will do the same.