I Finally Realized That I'm Only Into 'Bad Boys' Because i Want To Change Them

I Finally Realized That I'm Only Into 'Bad Boys' Because i Want To Change Them

I'm finally realizing that it isn't up to me to save anybody.


I've never been one to thoroughly examine my romantic love life. It takes years for me to look back on past relationships and think, "Was that really the greatest fit for me? For them?"

I'm uncomfortable discussing the aspects of my romantic life with other people, regardless of how close I may be with them. Introspection unnerves me, nearly as much as the analysis family and friends offer me about my personal relationships does. I don't want to be "that girl" who can't focus on anything other than romance, thus combating it by giving 0% of my attention and effort to that cause.

And then, about a year ago, it hit me. I don't want to examine my choices in romantic partners because I know my process is faulty. I fall for "bad boys" because I want to change them. I fall for "bad boys" because I want to be the one to fix them.

You see, I've struggled with codependency issues for as long as I can recall. Alcoholism runs pretty rampantly in my family, so from a young age, I've been conditioned to love those who are struggling. While I am proud of this, as I believe it makes me a compassionate and understanding person, codependency has found its way into my adult relationships, and not always for the better.

Because of this, I often fall for people who are struggling with addictions, or mental health dilemmas or are otherwise working on themselves. I want to be the person they turn to at 3 a.m. when they feel like relapsing. I want to be their verbal punching bag when their depression, anxiety, PTSD, MPD, or anger issues come to the surface. I want to be the support system that urges them to do better for themselves so that they can live to their full potential.

It took years for me to come to terms with why my romantic love life is sort of sketchy, for lack of better words. It took years for me to realize that wanting to "save" somebody does not equate to romantic attraction. It took me years to realize that loving somebody will not spontaneously change their life for the better.

It took me years to realize that you can't change anybody, that they have to do it themselves because they want to.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Look, I Don't Want Your Boy, But 'break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored' Makes Me Feel Incredible

It makes me feel empowered. It makes me feel my best.


I have seen so many thoughts and complaints that Ariana Grande's new song, "break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored" is shallow.

Some are even saying, "this song just perpetuates everything that is wrong with dating and relationships in society today."

But, girl, I have to disagree.

You see, just because I sing this song at the top of my lungs in both my dorm's shower and alone in my car, I am not going to steal anyone's boyfriend.

I am simply pretending like I am some kind of bad chick that no one should mess with but in reality, I apologize for walking in someone's direction.

And, let's say, if I were to say something lighthearted or friendly to him and he responds with actions that propose cheating, he wasn't a good boyfriend in the first place.

Listen, girls: stop being so insecure.

You have a boyfriend. He loves you. He chose you. If another girl comes by and his eyes dart her way, his heart wasn't in it all the way.

Not everything is deeper than the skin.

Now, let me be clear, I am not saying that it's OK for girls to go around and try to steal boyfriends. Actually, that's a pretty trashy move that no one should attempt. I know it happens, though. I know it is everyone's worst fear.

However, there is no life living within fear of rejection and being left. If those are the things that linger in the back of your mind, you will never taste the freedom of living.

Truly living.

So am I a bad person, considering that 'break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored' is my anthem?

It makes me feel empowered. It makes me feel my best.

So no, just listening to Ari's new bop doesn't make me a bad person or a boyfriend stealer.

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7 Tiny Things College Dudes Do That Give Off Major Small Dick Energy

If you exhibit any of these signs, re-evaluate yourself and your choices.


If you don't know what "small dick energy" means, let me give you the Urban Dictionary definition: "someone who shows off masculinity by being cocky, showing off, overly confident to overcompensate their 4.2 inch fully erect dick."

If you're afraid you might have this tragic disease: let me explain some of the key symptoms:

1. Adding girls you don't know on any social media platform just because you think they're hot.

I never thought friend requests could be so annoying.

2. Messaging said girls with some stupid pick-up-line to start a conversation.

What is this? Tinder?

3. Getting mad and aggressive when said girls don't message you back.

Kristyn Park

Bonus points for calling them mean names!

4. Getting even angrier when they do message back saying they're not interested.

Your insecurity isn't sexy.

5. Putting others down or not treating others with respect.

If you can't be polite to your servers or other customer service employees, you are the epitome of small dick energy.

6. Cornering girls at bars or parties and making them obviously uncomfortable.

If she doesn't seem interested in the conversation, she's not interested in you. Take a hint and walk away.

7. Any sort of forcefulness, pressure, or prejudice coming from a guy as he's talking to a girl.

BIG indicators of small dick energy and also toxic masculinity!

Now look, I know it sounds like I'm being a bitch, but let me tell you that I, and every other female on this planet regardless of race, sexuality, or anything that differentiates us, has been a victim of men with small dick energy. And it's not fucking cute anymore. In fact, it never was. If anything, it's uncomfortable, it's annoying, and it's concerning.

A girl is not a bitch, a slut, a loser, or any other name you want to throw at her if she doesn't like your advances. Calling her that is probably going to make her want to suck your (small) dick even less than before, if possible. We don't know you, and even if we did, we don't owe you anything. And if your first reaction to rejection is name-calling and blatant aggression, then you are likely a toxic person as it is who's got some deep-seated anger issues that you should probably take care of. And if you think that treating someone like that is okay and don't see anything wrong with that, then you might just be a psychopath, honestly.

Have some class and self-respect, guys, and leave the #smalldickenergy back in 2018.

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