With me being single now, I have been reintroduced to the concept of somebody "sliding into my DMs."
Being recently out of a year-long relationship, you can probably imagine how cautious I am about getting close to another guy. Regardless, a guy has now slid into my DMs, so I can choose to ignore the message or respond. Out of my curiosity, I naturally chose to respond.
In all of my 21 years of life, which I know isn't much, I thought I had heard some of the craziest responses from guys. I was proven wrong not too long after I regretfully chose to respond to this guy.
Now, the conversation started out really well. We asked about each other's days, some of our interests, etc. This went on to last for a couple of days. Eventually, the big question was asked, "What happened in your last relationship?" This is probably one of the most uncomfortable questions that you may have to answer when talking to someone new. Not only do you have to relive and talk about your ex, but you also have to try and come up with the best answer to a question that might not specifically have one.
My answer was the classic, "We just wanted different things, and it didn't work out."
If this guy and I ended up talking for much longer than a couple of days, then I knew I would eventually reveal certain things about my past relationship and why it ended. For now, I wanted to keep it brief and simple. It was now his turn to answer, and his response was one that almost anyone dreads hearing.
A couple of years ago, I probably would have stopped talking to him immediately. Because I was now a little older, I chose to give him a chance to explain himself and the situation. As a natural response, I asked, "Why?" Because this guy was trying to date me, I thought he would have at least tried to come up with an answer that would bring back the interest that I immediately lost after reading that he cheated. That was definitely not the case.
His response was, "It just happened...you know."
I immediately got filled with anger and proceeded to tell him that I do not know because having sex with someone other than your significant other doesn't just happen.
Cheating is always a choice, and I will never know how it "just happens."
Me accidentally bumping into a table and knocking down a vase is something that "just happens." Being too tired and missing my alarm is something that "just happens."
The fact that he cheated, did not even have a decent reason and said that it "just happens" told me that he would do it again. I would like to believe that someone can cheat and change, which is why I initially gave him the opportunity to explain himself and the situation, but he clearly is not one of those people.
For people who have cheated before but want to find love again, do not tell your new person of interest that it "just happened."