I Walked Away From A 10 Year Friendship, And It Was The Best Decision I Ever Made

I Walked Away From A 10 Year Friendship, And It Was The Best Decision I Ever Made

Sometimes you need some time apart to realize how much you really need each other in your lives.

I committed the number one friendship sin. I chose a boy over my best friend, and I don't regret it at all.

Let me give you some background. My best friend and I have been like sisters since we were seven. We did everything together. We were on the same softball teams, were in the same musicals, took all the same classes and we had a bond that almost no one could break.

The key word is almost.

You see, we were close like sisters, and we were competitive like sisters, too. When we got into high school, we branched out into separate activities.

She continued to do the musicals and plays while I joined the school cheer team. This kept us relatively separate and helped us to not be as competitive as when we did all of the same activities while still maintaining the closeness we had with each other our entire lives outside of school.

SEE ALSO: Goodbye To The Best Friend That Chose Her Boyfriend Over Me

Long story short, my best friend dated a boy our freshmen year, and they broke up shortly after we started our sophomore year. Because of girl code, that boy was off limits, and I didn't really talk to him or think about him... even though we had a lot of mutual friends.

Cut to junior year and my best friend had a new boyfriend. Although that doesn't excuse what I did, it made doing it a little bit easier.

Against her wishes, I became best friends with and eventually started dating the same boy that she dated our freshmen year.

I don't know if you're versed in teenage girl culture, but that is a big no-no. I had become the girl that I hated in every movie and broken friendship that I've ever encountered.

But, I don't regret it at all.

Our relationship had become extremely toxic. We were talking about each other behind our backs, turning on each other and stopped treating and appreciating each other like we should have been.

I had committed the sin, but we were both guilty.

Once she texted me, "I need space." I was sure it was over. I thought I had made the biggest mistake of my life, and I started to question my decision to start dating said boy, but there was no turning back.

That was the first summer in 10 years that I didn't see or talk to my best friend whatsoever.

In our time apart, we both grew as people. We both got jobs, decided on the careers we wanted to go into and built new relationships and friendships. My circle got wider, and I realized that since I no longer had the anchor of someone who already knew everything about me, I started to trust more people and cultivate relationships in places and people that I would've never thought to.

I grew as a person and matured in ways that I didn't even realize.

I built my own identity around me and who I was rather than who I was with another person.

The start of senior year was hard because I usually met up with her on the first day or better yet, slept over the night before so we could get ready and start the school year off together.

It wasn't long before she reached out to me and we talked, making us realize how much we had missed each other. It took some time, but now we're back to talking every day and appreciating each other in the way we should have been a year ago.

It's almost like we never spent any time apart.

When I walked into her house for the first time in almost a year, I was greeted with a hug from her mom, and it was like I never even left.

Although walking away from toxic relationships is important, the ones that matter can always be fixed. I learned a lot about myself and my ability to bounce back from difficulties and hardships.

I have my best friend back again, and I couldn't be happier. Like the saying goes, "if you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it was never meant to be."

Sometimes you need some time apart to realize how much you really need each other in your lives.

I walked away from a 10-year friendship, and I honestly couldn't be happier about it.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Should You Actually Delete Photos With An Ex After The Breakup?

Once they are deleted, there is no turning back.

With Valentine's Day coming up, a lot of singles out there may start to have that feeling of dread. With all of the love in air, it can be tough if you aren't in a relationship at the moment. You may even be tempted to go back through old pictures with an ex. For a moment, you consider deleting them, so you'll stop going back and looking whenever you feel an ounce of loneliness.

Or, you could be going through a breakup right now. On one end of the spectrum, you may never want to see this person again. On the flip side, maybe you are holding out hope that this person will come back to you or you are hoping to be friends at some point. Either way, breakups are tough but trust me, you're tougher.

Whatever the case may be, you want to know what you should do about the pictures of your past staring back at you from your phone. Should you keep all of these pictures of you and your ex, or should you delete them? The answer is more complicated than you think.

Unless the relationship ended for insanely horrible or traumatic reasons, don't delete the pictures for good.

I know what you are thinking, "but, what if I just don't want to see their face anymore?" That is completely understandable. But, chances are, you won't feel that way forever.

Whether you like it or not, the relationship did have some good times. Those times are memories that did happen and you may want to look back on those one day. This is especially true if you were with the person for a long time. Those are years of memories that you might want to look back on one day down the line. The pain of the breakup won't last forever and negative feelings towards that person may fade, but deleting the pictures are permanent.

Thankfully, there are some options to not see their face but still keep the pictures. You could always crop the person out, and un-crop it later on when you feel ready. Or, take them off of your phone but have them saved in a file on your computer. Lastly, you could even have them printed and then deleted off of your phone.

So, think twice before giving in to the urge to destroy all traces of your ex out of your life for good. Although, at the end of the day, it is your decision, and you should do what you think is best to help you move on. Every relationship is unique, and so is the recovery process after the breakup.

Cover Image Credit: 123rf

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5 Things You Learn When You Get Dumped

It happens to everyone, but you always learn something.

This happens to everyone and no, I do not want any sympathy. If people do not go through this pain and heartbreak (either you do the breaking up, or you found the one already), they lack the experience of being rejected and having someone so constant leave your life. It's a process, but here are five things you learn when you get dumped.

1. How long it takes to get over your SO

Honestly it all depends on the person who got broke up with to determine this. It could be 2 weeks, 2 months, maybe even a year. It's not something that just happens overnight. You lost someone very important in your life and you have to go through the stages of grief to get through it.

Plus, you can't let any influence how short or long this process this takes. Everyday is different. Sometimes he doesn't cross your mind at all and others that's all you can think about.

2. How it feels to be at your worst state

Some nights all you can do is cry and eat so much ice cream or fast food that it feels like your life is actually falling apart. And at some points, honestly it might be. This might be a bit of an exaggeration, but this is when you actually feel your heart aching.

Listening to Taylor Swift's Speak Now album or any song that reminds you of him when you just take a drive to calm down when things get a little rough. You might push people away by treating them differently and you don't even realize it. All you want to do is curl up in your bed, turn on a sad movie and just cry your sorrows away.

3. Which friends really care about you

You're at your worst state and all you want to do is be alone, but here comes your group of friends, or best friend, with some cookies and demand you to come out with them. They know what you're going through too, because they too have had their heart broken.

They take your phone away so you won't be looking at it 24/7 to see if he has texted you and genuinely want you to have the best night of your life because you deserve it. The friends who drop what their doing or offer to take you out to dinner or just have a movie night and cuddle up are the ones to keep.

The friends that understand you're going through a rough time and might not be in your nicest state will stick by your side the whole time.

4. Everything happens for a reason

The phrase "easier said than done" was created for this phrase. While you understand the timing probably wasn't right or that the distance was too far, it takes awhile to fully put your mind to believing this statement.

Once you do though, your life is changed. It really does help you get through these bad times cause it reminds you that good times will come back in your life. Maybe by someone new or just being single. Realizing this statement is one of the first steps for getting over you SO.

5. How important self-love is

This the time where you are by yourself for awhile. You aren't sharing yourself with anyone else anymore. Self-love is so important to gain back during this time. Without self-love, you will not get over him or her. It just won't happen.

Self-love reminds you that there is nothing wrong with yourself and that one day you will get better. It reminds you how strong you were before this and how you will come out even stronger on the other side.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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