I Walked Away From A 10 Year Friendship, And It Was The Best Decision I Ever Made

I Walked Away From A 10 Year Friendship, And It Was The Best Decision I Ever Made

Sometimes you need some time apart to realize how much you really need each other in your lives.
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I committed the number one friendship sin. I chose a boy over my best friend, and I don't regret it at all.

Let me give you some background. My best friend and I have been like sisters since we were seven. We did everything together. We were on the same softball teams, were in the same musicals, took all the same classes and we had a bond that almost no one could break.

The key word is almost.

You see, we were close like sisters, and we were competitive like sisters, too. When we got into high school, we branched out into separate activities.

She continued to do the musicals and plays while I joined the school cheer team. This kept us relatively separate and helped us to not be as competitive as when we did all of the same activities while still maintaining the closeness we had with each other our entire lives outside of school.

SEE ALSO: Goodbye To The Best Friend That Chose Her Boyfriend Over Me

Long story short, my best friend dated a boy our freshmen year, and they broke up shortly after we started our sophomore year. Because of girl code, that boy was off limits, and I didn't really talk to him or think about him... even though we had a lot of mutual friends.

Cut to junior year and my best friend had a new boyfriend. Although that doesn't excuse what I did, it made doing it a little bit easier.

Against her wishes, I became best friends with and eventually started dating the same boy that she dated our freshmen year.

I don't know if you're versed in teenage girl culture, but that is a big no-no. I had become the girl that I hated in every movie and broken friendship that I've ever encountered.

But, I don't regret it at all.

Our relationship had become extremely toxic. We were talking about each other behind our backs, turning on each other and stopped treating and appreciating each other like we should have been.

I had committed the sin, but we were both guilty.

Once she texted me, "I need space." I was sure it was over. I thought I had made the biggest mistake of my life, and I started to question my decision to start dating said boy, but there was no turning back.

That was the first summer in 10 years that I didn't see or talk to my best friend whatsoever.

In our time apart, we both grew as people. We both got jobs, decided on the careers we wanted to go into and built new relationships and friendships. My circle got wider, and I realized that since I no longer had the anchor of someone who already knew everything about me, I started to trust more people and cultivate relationships in places and people that I would've never thought to.

I grew as a person and matured in ways that I didn't even realize.

I built my own identity around me and who I was rather than who I was with another person.

The start of senior year was hard because I usually met up with her on the first day or better yet, slept over the night before so we could get ready and start the school year off together.

It wasn't long before she reached out to me and we talked, making us realize how much we had missed each other. It took some time, but now we're back to talking every day and appreciating each other in the way we should have been a year ago.

It's almost like we never spent any time apart.

When I walked into her house for the first time in almost a year, I was greeted with a hug from her mom, and it was like I never even left.

Although walking away from toxic relationships is important, the ones that matter can always be fixed. I learned a lot about myself and my ability to bounce back from difficulties and hardships.

I have my best friend back again, and I couldn't be happier. Like the saying goes, "if you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it was never meant to be."

Sometimes you need some time apart to realize how much you really need each other in your lives.

I walked away from a 10-year friendship, and I honestly couldn't be happier about it.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

11 reasons It's important to Be a 'Good Ex'

Because being petty and vengeful isn't cute

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Bad exes are truly an epidemic and, for all of our peace at mind, they need to be stopped. There's the exes who blow up our social media and our phones, leave desperate voicemails, stalk us in public, ask our friends how we're doing all the time…and plenty others who go to extensive ends just to get our attention (mostly in a bad way).

But what about you? Are you being courteous, sophisticated, and respectful of each other's boundaries and privacy?

If not, you really should be...and here's why:


It can definitely be tempting to be petty and subtweet your ex-boyfriend just so the world can know how awful he is. It's even more satisfying to rant about him to one of his close pals, or to throw armfuls of eggs at your ex-girlfriend's white Jeep until you've stopped crying. But at the end of the day, know that whatever karma you put out into the universe will come back to you in time. Make sure that you're being a good ex— and ultimately, a good person— if you want to draw your forever love even closer to you.

Cover Image Credit:

Tumblr

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Loving The Wrong Person Can Make You Lose Yourself, Trust me, I would Know

You're just stuck loving the wrong guy in an okay situation.

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In a perfect world, we wouldn't ever have to fall in love with the wrong person. Falling in love with the wrong person means you have to feel all of the right things just to eventually feel all the wrong things too. There's no preparing you for this, and there's no going back once you're already there. You're just stuck loving the wrong guy in an okay situation.

It becomes comfortable, and not too long after, you become stuck.

Loving the wrong guy didn't get me much but it definitely taught me a thing or two.

I'm weak when I'm with the wrong guy. I stop voicing my opinion because I know it's never actually heard. I let things go unsaid because even saying something got me nowhere with him. I allowed for his mistakes to be swept under the rug while we continually played out the ones I made day by day. I was a coward when it came to what I deserved, and that's actually something I will always take credit for. He didn't force me to be weak. He didn't threaten me if I voiced my opinion. He never stopped me from bringing up his mistakes. I did all of that. It was because I knew the aftermath of all of those things came with arguments I didn't have the energy to have, or tears that I didn't have the willpower to cry.

The wrong guy means different things to different people. Some may use you for what you have, while another could cheat, lie, and steal with no problem. Mine just made me feel small and insignificant. He took away my character and molded me into a person I didn't recognize. I became what I promised myself I never would, which was a puppet for him to control. I started to be someone who made decisions based on what I thought a repercussion might be. Not long after that, I noticed every decision I made lose it's meaning because it wasn't actually me making them. I was so caught up in thinking I loved the right person that I realized it was more of that person just loving himself and making me think I did too.

Loving the wrong guy is like falling in a 12-foot hole, and never trying to understand a way out. In that hole, you have everything you actually need to survive, so instead of trying to dream about the ways you can get out and how your life will be different, you accept what it is. You just adapt to what's around you and love the things you have. It's when you finally figure a way out of that soul-depriving ditch when you realize your life was so limited and time was just wasted.

Do you ever stop to look around and ask yourself if this is the life you want for your future kids? Is your happiness enough that you'd feel content with your kids having it for the rest of their life? We love the wrong person, and then we try to tell ourselves he isn't wrong for us. We stay with the wrong person. We get comfortable. We settle into a lifestyle we are not head over heels in love with. We watch the person we once were, turn into a person that is making it work. All because we loved, settled, and stayed with the wrong guy.

I loved the wrong guy.

It taught me obvious things, like strength and clarity.

However, it also taught me deeper things, like what I actually wanted out of my life. It took me way too long to say it to myself, but when I did, I realized there was nothing or no one I would ever settle for again. I'd never let my opinion go unheard, and I would never fear a single repercussion. I'd start to accept who I was and make anyone who couldn't fuck right off. I learned that courage is most respected and deserved when it hurts, but that it makes you truly feel alive. I learned to try actually falling in love with the right guy, but if I don't, take what I learned from the last wrong one, and kick the next one's ass to the curb.

Maybe I lost part of myself when it came to him, but I got it back and made that part even stronger than it used to be.

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