I committed the number one friendship sin. I chose a boy over my best friend, and I don't regret it at all.
Let me give you some background. My best friend and I have been like sisters since we were seven. We did everything together. We were on the same softball teams, were in the same musicals, took all the same classes and we had a bond that almost no one could break.
The key word is almost.
You see, we were close like sisters, and we were competitive like sisters, too. When we got into high school, we branched out into separate activities.
She continued to do the musicals and plays while I joined the school cheer team. This kept us relatively separate and helped us to not be as competitive as when we did all of the same activities while still maintaining the closeness we had with each other our entire lives outside of school.
Long story short, my best friend dated a boy our freshmen year, and they broke up shortly after we started our sophomore year. Because of girl code, that boy was off limits, and I didn't really talk to him or think about him... even though we had a lot of mutual friends.
Cut to junior year and my best friend had a new boyfriend. Although that doesn't excuse what I did, it made doing it a little bit easier.
Against her wishes, I became best friends with and eventually started dating the same boy that she dated our freshmen year.
I don't know if you're versed in teenage girl culture, but that is a big no-no. I had become the girl that I hated in every movie and broken friendship that I've ever encountered.
But, I don't regret it at all.
Our relationship had become extremely toxic. We were talking about each other behind our backs, turning on each other and stopped treating and appreciating each other like we should have been.
I had committed the sin, but we were both guilty.
Once she texted me, "I need space." I was sure it was over. I thought I had made the biggest mistake of my life, and I started to question my decision to start dating said boy, but there was no turning back.
That was the first summer in 10 years that I didn't see or talk to my best friend whatsoever.
In our time apart, we both grew as people. We both got jobs, decided on the careers we wanted to go into and built new relationships and friendships. My circle got wider, and I realized that since I no longer had the anchor of someone who already knew everything about me, I started to trust more people and cultivate relationships in places and people that I would've never thought to.
I grew as a person and matured in ways that I didn't even realize.
I built my own identity around me and who I was rather than who I was with another person.
The start of senior year was hard because I usually met up with her on the first day or better yet, slept over the night before so we could get ready and start the school year off together.
It wasn't long before she reached out to me and we talked, making us realize how much we had missed each other. It took some time, but now we're back to talking every day and appreciating each other in the way we should have been a year ago.
It's almost like we never spent any time apart.
When I walked into her house for the first time in almost a year, I was greeted with a hug from her mom, and it was like I never even left.
Although walking away from toxic relationships is important, the ones that matter can always be fixed. I learned a lot about myself and my ability to bounce back from difficulties and hardships.
I have my best friend back again, and I couldn't be happier. Like the saying goes, "if you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it was never meant to be."
Sometimes you need some time apart to realize how much you really need each other in your lives.
I walked away from a 10-year friendship, and I honestly couldn't be happier about it.