He Gave Me A House Before A Ring And That's OK

He Gave Me A House Before A Ring And That's OK

You may not agree and that's fine but it works for us and that's what matters.
246755
views

Recently, my boyfriend and I moved in together. We've been living together for about three months now. Ever since then, I've had some negative comments and disapproving looks thrown my way, mainly from older adults, but even some from people my age. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I respect that. When my boyfriend and I made this decision, we didn't expect everyone to agree, but then again we can't make decisions in our relationship based off trying to please everyone else.

Some of the negative things I have been told include, "Y'all are too young for that," "Y'all are rushing things," "That's not the Christian way of doing things," and "If you move in with a guy before he proposes, he will get comfortable and never pop the question."

Well first off, we are 20 and 22. I don't really think that's too young. I am a student and also have a job and my boyfriend has a full-time job. A good portion of the people I graduated with are engaged, married, have kids, or a combination, so we aren't the only ones making adult choices. Also, I don't believe we rushed things. We had been dating for almost a year when we moved in, and have now been dating more than a year. I have never believed in having a timeline for when things should happen in a relationship. Some people wait five years and that's great. Some wait three months, and that's great too.

SEE ALSO: Yes, I'm Married, Yes, I'm In College But No, These 10 Myths Do Not Ring True

As far as not doing things the Christian way, I understand that we probably should have gotten married first. I'm aware that we didn't follow the bible, and that does bother me. I can promise you this though: I do pray about it, and we are very serious. We talk about marriage quite often and we know that this is it. Now, I know what you're thinking, that could always change. As of right now, though, we do have good intentions. Lastly, whoever came up with that old rule about a man getting comfortable and not proposing because you already live with him must have dealt with a crappy guy. Us moving in together has done nothing but strengthen our relationship, (yes, we had a little more fighting at first, but what doesn't break you makes you stronger and that's what it did), and made us more excited about getting married.

You see, I've always thought it was smart to live together before marriage. I can speak from experience now, and I can say that I have learned so much more about my boyfriend from living with him than I ever did before. Stuff that can make or break a relationship for some people. I mean if one person is a super clean freak and the other is a slob, that could cause issues right? Living together also adds stress to a relationship by adding a whole lot of extra responsibility. For instance, we bought a house, and with that comes bills, a lot to clean, cooking, property upkeep, groceries, a mortgage, etc, etc. It will sure test your relationship. You have to be a good team and work together and communicate. Some couples are great, they think, until a little stress is added and then they crumble.

So, think what you want about us living together before we get married. I respect that not everyone will agree with it. But this man I live with is the love of my life and we will get married. This step in our journey just happened to happen before that one.

Cover Image Credit: Sydney Moore

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I Asked 10 Brides What They Wish They Had Done Differently While Wedding Planning And Their Responses Ring True

When the engagement celebration sets in and the wedding planning begins, 10 brides give their advice on how to plan a kick-ass wedding.

201
views

Maybe it's just me, but I was almost in a state of denial after our engagement. I was on this cloud and I didn't want to start thinking about what's next. But a week later we started thinking about possible dates, venues, and budgets and that when the stress began— which wasn't fun.

It's hard not comparing one's wedding and planning processes to those of the movies and other friends. But every wedding is as different as the couple themselves are; that's what makes a wedding spectacular and amazing! So with wedding planning, I have found some of the best advice I have received has been from first-hand experience. These 10 Brides have something to say when asked the question, "What is one thing you wish you hadn't stressed so much when planning your wedding?"

1. Too much pressure on the event.

"Putting too much emphasis on the event, rather than the reason for being there. Make a commitment to God and each other to make it through the good and the bad times. That's what really matters!" Denise, married December 24th, 1994

2. Take in the moment and live it!

"About the wedding day being perfect, it's gonna go how it's gonna go. Don't stress about it, just take in the moment and live it. Oh and don't be a bridezilla. Ruins the day and the mood." Kayla, married December 9th, 2016

3. Do only what you want to do!

"Worrying about everyone else! It's YOUR DAY! Do only what you want to do!" Ashleigh, June 7th, 2017

4. Don't stress the small stuff!

" Planning wasn't that stressful for me! But when it came to the actual day, there were so many things that I was like, 'this literally doesn't matter.' Such as the flowers or decorations or the little details. Of course they were all great and everything looked amazing. But little details you don't even notice on your wedding day. For me, the day went by SOOO fast! Everything was so fast paced and so I didn't even have time to glance at the decorations table or card table. Don't stress the small stuff! Because on your actual day, it'll be the last thing on your mind! Because you'll just wanna see your groom so bad that nothing else matters!" Kelsie, married August 19th, 2018

5. Too many little details that nobody else cared about.

"Too many little details that nobody else cared about that I cared about too much! So much time went into it which I loved, but it's more about spending time with all the people that you love in your life! They don't care how much money you spend on the day or if everything goes perfectly. They just want you to have a good day and they want to celebrate you and your love and marriage!" Savannah, married October 1st, 2017

6. It's about you and your spouse.

"How much other people thought things are important to them. Dang this is my day and what's important to me and my spouse is what matters. It's about us." Denise, married July 28th, 2007.

7. Having the "perfect picture" like everyone else in my mind had.

"Definitely all the details that you don't really notice, like the seating chart at the reception. Don't stress about getting things done the week of the wedding, if it doesn't get done then it doesn't get done. You're going to get married regardless and no one will even notice it. I also had to keep reminding myself, it's about the marriage, not the wedding. Pictures/video were a big thing I stressed about because I wanted it all to be "perfect" pictures like everyone else in my mind had...I spent so much time finding pictures and trying to match those pictures that I didn't enjoy the picture finding process. I would also say that the night before the wedding don't stress too much about all the details that you hadn't gotten to because it's going to be beautiful and you need sleep, especially if you are going on your honeymoon right away because then you wind up sick...
One big one I stressed about a lot was how well all the pinks in my wedding matched (I'm OCD) Cloth napkins, table runners, the bridesmaid dresses, to the decorations." Presley, married August 18th, 2018

8. The guest list

"Honestly I stressed about the guest list the most and still do even now. Since my fiance and I are both from a small town and both have big families, it took us quite a while to get the guest list figured out. Our wedding budget was also a factor in determining how many people we wanted to have as well. At the wedding you want people there that are an influence on your life and it's hard looking back thinking of all the people that have been a part of it over the last many years. Once that was figured out it was a big relief, but it has also been fun planning everything. Even the guest list." -Morgan, getting married in June of 2019.

9. Thinking too much about making it different or comparable to other weddings.

"I'm a people-pleaser by nature. And because we are young I worried about people looking at our wedding and judging based on what we didn't have. I compared it too much to my other friends' weddings, YouTuber's weddings, and the stuff you see in the movies. And finances were a big stress in the early stages as well. But once we took a step back to just process what our wedding meant to us as a couple and what we want our marriage to be, we were able to lighten up a lot and have more fun! Yes, we had to refocus our finances and savings, but really we just kept reminding one another that this was one day to the rest of our lives together as husband and wife. The best is yet to come. - Megan (Me) Getting married in September of 2019!


It's easy to get into the mindset that your wedding has to be "perfect" and it has to look like weddings in the movies or in the pictures of other people. But that's what's amazing about weddings. They are uniquely yours. If you have a hard time getting out of this mindset like I do a lot of the time, just think about your fiance. Remember that you are committing forever to the one you love. Marriage is more than just one day.

OMG, check these out

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Your Bachelor Party Is Not An Excuse To Cheat

You're still in a long-term, committed relationship.

1091
views

I've always thought the stereotypical portrayal and concept of bachelor parties are idiotic. Getting married changes your life forever, so of course "one last night with the guys" makes sense, but where I draw the line is where a night of guys spending time together transforms into strippers and strip clubs.

Sorry boys, but your bachelor party isn't your "last night of freedom," so there's no point in you trying to come up with an excuse to validate cheating or other acts that would potentially harm your relationship before you even get married.

The way bachelor parties are treated in today's day and age makes it seem like your fiancé getting a drunken lap dance from some girl his buddies hired totally OK. That it's OK for him to get blackout drunk, make mistakes, and promise as a group of guys to never tell you what happened that night.

Well, it's not. It's a damn good way to get your wedding canceled, though.

It's still cheating.

Guys, you know without a shadow of a doubt in your mind that on any other day, your bride-to-be would lose her mind if you so much as had another girl's ass in your face, and rightfully so. The night before your wedding should be a time where you and your best guy friends all hang out, drink some beers at the bar, and have a good time. It shouldn't be a time where your best friends try to sabotage your relationship and you go along with it.

You're still in a relationship. If you're about to get married, odds are it's a pretty serious and long-term one. You didn't drop all that money on a ring just to luge beer out of a stripper's breasts right before your fiancée walks down the aisle.

You should care more about your relationship than to be OK with throwing it all away for one night. This isn't "The Hangover," you're not Bradley Cooper, so don't think you have to have one last crazy night where shit hits the fan.

You and your guy friends are still going to be friends after you have a ring on your finger. Getting married doesn't mean your wife is going to throw you down into a cellar and lock you away, never letting you have fun ever again. It's a loving, committed partnership.

You don't want to start off a marriage with regret, so don't be an idiot at your bachelor party. Your best friends should know better than to try and ruin your relationship right before the biggest milestone in it occurs. If they really try to screw you over by threatening your relationship, they're not really your friends. You don't have to stick dollar bills in a stripper's thong to have a good time together as guys, and you definitely shouldn't be doing that if you're in a committed relationship, no matter the occasion.

You're an individual with free will, but you're not a single man. Don't act like one unless you want to be one.

OMG, check these out

Facebook Comments