He Gave Me A House Before A Ring And That's OK

He Gave Me A House Before A Ring And That's OK

You may not agree and that's fine but it works for us and that's what matters.
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Recently, my boyfriend and I moved in together. We've been living together for about three months now. Ever since then, I've had some negative comments and disapproving looks thrown my way, mainly from older adults, but even some from people my age. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I respect that. When my boyfriend and I made this decision, we didn't expect everyone to agree, but then again we can't make decisions in our relationship based off trying to please everyone else.

Some of the negative things I have been told include, "Y'all are too young for that," "Y'all are rushing things," "That's not the Christian way of doing things," and "If you move in with a guy before he proposes, he will get comfortable and never pop the question."

Well first off, we are 20 and 22. I don't really think that's too young. I am a student and also have a job and my boyfriend has a full-time job. A good portion of the people I graduated with are engaged, married, have kids, or a combination, so we aren't the only ones making adult choices. Also, I don't believe we rushed things. We had been dating for almost a year when we moved in, and have now been dating more than a year. I have never believed in having a timeline for when things should happen in a relationship. Some people wait five years and that's great. Some wait three months, and that's great too.

SEE ALSO: Yes, I'm Married, Yes, I'm In College But No, These 10 Myths Do Not Ring True

As far as not doing things the Christian way, I understand that we probably should have gotten married first. I'm aware that we didn't follow the bible, and that does bother me. I can promise you this though: I do pray about it, and we are very serious. We talk about marriage quite often and we know that this is it. Now, I know what you're thinking, that could always change. As of right now, though, we do have good intentions. Lastly, whoever came up with that old rule about a man getting comfortable and not proposing because you already live with him must have dealt with a crappy guy. Us moving in together has done nothing but strengthen our relationship, (yes, we had a little more fighting at first, but what doesn't break you makes you stronger and that's what it did), and made us more excited about getting married.

You see, I've always thought it was smart to live together before marriage. I can speak from experience now, and I can say that I have learned so much more about my boyfriend from living with him than I ever did before. Stuff that can make or break a relationship for some people. I mean if one person is a super clean freak and the other is a slob, that could cause issues right? Living together also adds stress to a relationship by adding a whole lot of extra responsibility. For instance, we bought a house, and with that comes bills, a lot to clean, cooking, property upkeep, groceries, a mortgage, etc, etc. It will sure test your relationship. You have to be a good team and work together and communicate. Some couples are great, they think, until a little stress is added and then they crumble.

So, think what you want about us living together before we get married. I respect that not everyone will agree with it. But this man I live with is the love of my life and we will get married. This step in our journey just happened to happen before that one.

Cover Image Credit: Sydney Moore

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

10 Cringe-Worthy Wedding Trends That Any Sane Bride Will Leave Behind

Please, do us all a favor and keep it classy this year...

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As we're coming off of a very hardcore engagement season, I think now is the appropriate time to share our thoughts and feelings surrounding some common 2018 wedding trends on Pinterest.

Every year, soon-to-be brides stress and stress over creating the most innovative weddings, each one more glamorous and creative as the one they attended before. Yes, your wedding should represent you and your significant other and be as authentic as possible, but there are some things that should not even be allowed at the ceremony or during the reception.

We've all seen "27 Dresses" with Katherine Heigl, yeah? I'm talking about those kind of things. The table settings that make you cringe, the guest book idea that has you whispering "WTF" and that drunken best man's speech that collectively makes everyone really uncomfortable. You'll see what I mean...

Here are the 10 most cringe-worthy wedding trends I hope get divorced in 2019:

1. Mason jars

I swear to God if I see another pickle jar lookin' receptacle I'm leaving your wedding and taking my present with me. This "trend" is not only outdated, but so overdone and #basic. Mason jars as flower vases, mason jars as cocktail glasses, mason jars with candles in them, mason jars filled with candy as party favors—GET RID OF IT. ALL OF IT.

2. Burlap accents

I'm sorry, I think I just threw up a bit. Burlap—it's not cute, comfortable, or conventional. If you're trying to create a rustic vibe, burlap leans more barnyard than country chic. Plus, threads will start to unravel throughout the night, creating a stringy mess on the dance floor and unwanted bits in the food.

3. Rubbing cake in each other's face

Not that this became a trend in 2018, but I felt that it needed to be mentioned: please don't mess up the bride's hair & makeup with sticky frosting! Chances are, she spent a significant amount of money on a stylist to look effortlessly beautiful on her big day, and you just smudged two hours of hard work all for a few laughs.

4. Wearing converse/cowboy Boots/Uggs underneath your dress

Believe it or not, there is a time and a place where it's acceptable to sport this kind of footwear. Your wedding day, a formal event, should not be one of them. Save your cowboy boots for the ranch and your Uggs for the slopes, please!

SEE ALSO: If You Wear Keds On Your Wedding Day, I'm Leaving The Reception And Taking My Gift With Me

5. "Funny" flower girl/ring bearer signs

Okay, some can be quite cute when done correctly, but messages like these make me shiver. The shot-gun wedding/man marries woman because she's the only option leftover reaaallly grinds my gears. It's tacky and kind of embarrassing.

6. Extreme themes

Let's get this straight: weddings should have vibes, not themes. Little girls' birthday parties have themes like princesses, high tea, and "Moana." Your wedding is not one of those occasions. Try for something more classic such as downtown chic, bohemian, or just keep it traditional!

Side note: This Harry Potter cake actually made me laugh out loud. Seriously, LOOK AT THE DOBBY CAKE TOPPERS.

7. Spreads or small-plates as the meal

Though it may look very photogenic and align perfectly with your boho-chic vibe, this type of setup is extremely impractical for your guests. For starters, it only allows people to grab a little bit of food at a time, causing your attendees to make a few trips back to the table and cause unnecessary traffic. Secondly, the foods are fairly messy and will have the tendency to mix when packed so tightly together. Third, it's not very filling, and hangry guests aren't fun guests.

8. Open seating at the reception

Please, for obvious reasons, just make a seating chart. Yeah, we get that you're trying to be ~all inclusive~ and get families who wouldn't normally sit together at the same table, but in reality, families don't want to be separated at events like these. Your guests will mingle as the night goes on, and assigning seats to people will make things a little less complicated during the reception.

9. Cheesy photo-booths with props

Again, something like this would be cute for a child's birthday party, but not on your special day. Besides, does anyone actually use these at weddings? Guests often forget about this "activity" and you'll probably end up wasting your money on props, backdrops, and a camera.

10. Asking for donations in "creative" ways

So, you've already asked people to take time off of work, maybe purchase a plane ticket, book a hotel room, buy shower and wedding gifts, and now you're asking for more money? That only makes the couple seem cheap and a tad bit rude. Maybe opt in for a small activity for guests to guess the honeymoon destination on paper or offer romantic date night ideas!

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Military Girlfriends Are Just Wives Without The Label

"A military girlfriend is just a wife in waiting, no one would go through this if they weren't in it for the long haul."-Anonymous

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Over the years, I have seen the military only showing recognition towards wives of soldiers. It feels like the military believes only wives are worthy of recognition. I am a girlfriend to a U.S. soldier, and I think it's completely unfair. In my eyes, a wife and a faithful girlfriend are both surviving the same situational circumstances, but the wives just get to reap the benefits with their soldier.

Girlfriends go through the same things as the wives. We wait to see them, sometimes really long periods of time. We wait in line after line to be able to see our men.

Whether I am a girlfriend or wife, I believe the military should take every soldiers relationship seriously.

When your soldier deploys, girlfriends won't be given any information related to his job. I know we can't know where they are, but it would be nice to be able to know where he's stationed at and that he's okay.

One of the worst parts is that if something happens to him you won't be the first person the military calls. I understand his intermediate family should probably be notified, but if you are very committed to your soldier then the military should inform all loved ones, including girlfriends.

Living on his post is not an option for girlfriends. Girlfriends have to live off post hopefully somewhere close by. Sometimes girlfriends like to live with their boyfriends, and if that was me having that off post rule would definitely bother me. If your soldier moves away because you have the girlfriend label on your back the military won't support your move.

Living this lifestyle is not easy, and I understand why the military can't treat girlfriends like wives. No one willingly would put up with this lifestyle if they didn't love the person that's in it. For someone to be just a girlfriend, we deal with so much that seems unbearable to outsiders.

I just believe that military girlfriends are more than just girlfriends. Girlfriends are basically wives without the label, but whether the military acknowledges us or not.

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