The "honeymoon phase" doesn't last forever. Any relationship has disagreements, but sometimes they can be much bigger than a simple miscommunication. Sometimes they can end everything.
Whether your significant other is close to home or long distance, whether you've been dating for a couple months or several years, odds are there has been trouble in paradise.
I asked 23 millennial couples to answer three simple questions about what the biggest disagreements in their relationships were about.
1. What are the biggest disagreements you and your significant other have?
1. Him hiding which of my friends he had slept with in the past, me demanding consistent communication
2. Not talking enough
3. About how to handle conflict with others
4. Money and lack of time together due to our jobs
5. His idiot friend
7. Who gets the final say
8. Throw pillows
9. Time management and how often to see each other
10. The frequency of communication and intimacy, emotional closeness
11. Time balance, budgets, and life goals
13. Money, sex, health
14. He doesn't have time for me, won't make time for me
15. Drinking too much
16. Caring more about her friends than she does me
17. Social media
18. Him skipping school, him not thinking forward, sex
19. Money and time spent with others (until the VERY late hours of the night)
21. To have kids or not
22. Females he sees as friends but that I know are more interested in him
23. Religious ideas
Are there any reoccurring disagreements? If so, what are they about?
1. Same as above
2. My spending habits and how they are not his business, but how they still affect our relationship
3. Just about being passive and not dealing directly with the issue
4. Typically we are fighting about the way money gets spent, but also we are both overworked and stressed out when we have these arguments
5. His idiot friend
6. Certain friends
7. Many disagreements
9. Same as above
10. When my S.O. is disrespectful or mean, when we aren't able to spend enough time together or starting to spend too much time together, texting vs calling
11. Yes... all of the above, not initiating in the relationship and not feeling loved and cared about in the way I want
12. The balance of time together vs friends/family
14. Money, sex, health
15. He doesn't give me enough time because he's so focused on everything else
16. Personal motivation
17. Social media
18. Him skipping school, because I want to be with someone who is motivated
19. Yes, politics. I am left wing and he is right wing, we don't discuss politics now and we almost never argue anymore
20. To have kids or not
22. His "best friend." Who completely ignores my existence even though we've been dating for six months. She makes sure she's next to him in all group pictures, still invites him as her plus one to things, etc. But he doesn't see it as weird. "She's just awkward" is what he says when I bring up her not talking to me
23. Communication issues, trust/jealousy issues
Have you ever ended a relationship based on a disagreement? If so, what was it?
2. Yes, because of a lack of equal effort in a long distance relationship
3. I ended a relationship because the other was not taking it as seriously as I was. We had been together for about six months and still most of the time, he just wanted to hook up and he was very sketchy about some things. I told him that I was at the point of my life where (I was 21) I was ready to find someone who wanted to settle down and do life with me., not just hook up. He didn't agree, I left.
4. I have, and I will again to maintain my connection to The Boy. All else is secondary to Him
5. Yes, religious and moral differences
6. I end relationships if/when I'm not interested in being in it anymore. Sometimes that's the other person treating me poorly or sometimes when I don't want to lead the other person on
8. Yes, my ex was still accepting his brother who was a pedophile, and I refused
10. Yes, for keeping around people because they are backups for if we broke up
Do any of these sound familiar? A disagreement can be about something minor or major. How the two of you choose to respond or not, though, is what dictates how it affects your relationship.
A little bump in the road is nothing new to any of us, and odds are we'll always encounter them. Know when to draw the line, know when to kiss and make up.