If You're A College Kid In Love And Ready For The Next Step, Talk About Your Finances
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Dating in college is exciting. While many are still in their "exploring" phase of dating and hookups, others are getting ready to settle down with that special someone. A big part of settling down with someone is getting over some pretty big marks in your relationship. Whether that's going to the bathroom while they brush their teeth or finally letting one rip in front of the other, you have to be comfortable with your significant other in order to take it to the next level.

There's many things you should go over when moving into a "serious" relationship. The most important one, is often shoved in the back of the closet because people don't want to talk about it— finances.

That's right. Finances. You need to be able to talk to your significant other about finances on both sides.

The stereotypical "don't tell people what you make" phrase, needs to get thrown out the window.

In order to start a life with someone, (a.k.a. living together) you need to be able to discuss finances together. You need to know what they make. They need to know what you make. Without the knowledge of finances, you won't be able to balance the payments needed of living together.

How to pay for groceries, how to pay the mortgage or rent, how to pay utilities, and everything else you can imagine.

When you're with someone and want to continue being with them for a long time, you need to be comfortable to talk about anything and everything. If you can't, your relationship really won't progress into a happy and healthy state. I understand if you've only been dating for a short time. But if you've been dating for a couple years and plan on living together or even getting married, you need to talk about it.

Neither of you should care if one makes more money than the other. It's no longer a one-way street. You two are becoming a team and you need to work like one. You have to combine forces and both of your knowledge and use it to your advantage. Without that necessary knowledge, you're going to go day by day wondering how things are going to get done.

I know it seems silly. But it's becoming real life. This is adulthood and a part of that is learning to tackle life on your own. The bright side is that, you don't have to do it alone.

So grab your partner, sit them down and pop the question.

"How much do you make? And how can we make life easier?"

Here are 5 tips for how to pop the finance question:

1. Pick a night where neither of you have anything planned.

You want to be able to sit down and talk about it without constantly looking at the clock.

2. Make sure it's just to the two of you.

Nobody needs to have their best friend or parents involved. Only you two.

3. Have examples ready.

When my boyfriend and I talked about finances, he was a little confused at first. I specified that one of us could take care of the mortgage payments, the other could take care of groceries/cable, etc. Having examples of how to split it up can be an eye opener.

4. Don't pry.

Yes, you should talk about your finances, but if it's still too early for them to talk about it, don't harass them. Let them know that it's something you two should think about and that for a well growing relationship, this will help. But if you pry at them you may push them away.

5. Remember: this is to make BOTH your lives easier.

If you're the one bringing up the conversation of finances, I can see how it can be nerve wracking to either sides. While it may seem like their trying to control your life, all you're doing is making life easier for the both of you. You are a team, nobody is in control of the other and that is the BIGGEST thing to remember!

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

An Open Letter To The Girl In A Toxic Relationship Who Doesn't See The Signs To Let Go

"it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing" -R.H Sin

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Dear you,

I hope you're doing well. I once thought I was too. I once thought that if he would just change, for me, everything would work. However, my sweet girl, you should not have to change people, you should not have to push people to be better, for you. You cannot help anyone, that does not want to help themselves.

In the movies, we learn to love a bad boy that needs changing. However, it isn't always your job to be boys saving grace. However, his shaming and emotional abuse is not just something you should put up with so that you can love him. That is not loving.

Love is not a constant competition of who could belittle the other one first. Love is not asking for a hug and being told no. Love does not make you feel stupid for bringing up things that hurt your feelings.

Love does not grow angry because you talk to your mom about your feelings. Love does not body shame. Love does not constantly change the passcode to their phone.

Love does not laugh when you find out they're unfaithful. Love does not tell you that you are not smart enough to accomplish anything. Love does not force their hand up your thigh when the words "no" slip out of your mouth.

Love is the warmth of a hand on your cheek when you get anxious. Love is getting your backpack out the car for you. Love is turning around when you need them. Love compromises.

Love is encouraging. Love is proud. Love is forgiving. Love sees you for who you are. Love knows you are worthy.

God is your Father and you are His daughter, so do not believe for one second that this abuse is the love you think you deserve.

Love will not always be easy. Love will be challenging and a constant prayer to not anger so quickly.

However, do not mix up challenging with the abuse. If you are losing the good pieces of yourself, then it isn't love. I know that you put a lot of time and effort into this relationship, but it is no good, you are holding on to someone whose heart is not in the right place to love you.

I connected with a poem from R. H. Sin, once I left my toxic relationship which reads, "it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing."

Darling girl, you are so loved by so many people, do not let this relationship hold you back or make you feel less worthy than you are. I have always been the girl with her nose stuck up in the air smelling for smoke, to follow the trail to a burning house to find a boy that needed saving, but it is more than likely a boy that lit the fire in the first place and needs changing.

So, do not be me, be better. Be the girl that lights her own world on fire, for her work, for her family, for God. You are you and you are amazing, so do not fear being without him.

You will feel as if you have come up for air after drowning in an ocean that you had no idea you were swimming in.

The emotional abuse that this boy has put you through and maybe even physical abuse will leave you building walls around your heart. It will make other relationships hard, but you are so so strong.

You will meet someone that makes you so happy and feel so easy to love, you will never understand how you stuck around with the one that hurt you for so long.

You deserve to grow from this, and I promise you will.

Let go.

xoxo,

The girl who learned from a toxic relationship

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Being Far Away From My Boyfriend Actually Strengthened Our Relationship Instead Of Forcing It Apart

While we were apart, we became closer.

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Before I really start this article, I just want to say that my relationship isn't truly a long distance relationship. We are both college students at the same university eight months out of the year, but the other four months we live quite a distance apart. Even during those four months, we are only about 150 miles from each other as the bird flies, but really about three hours from each other.

Being in a relationship where I'm not able to see my boyfriend every day or even every week has been a real challenge. But it's been a good challenge. It hasn't been a challenge because I've felt unfaithful or fallen out of love with him in any way. It's challenging because I miss him. We both work jobs and our schedules aren't the same and oftentimes we aren't able to talk to each other unless it's early in the morning or late at night. There are times when all I want to do is talk to him and tell him about how my day went and get a big bear hug from him. Unfortunately, I'm not really able to do this.

I firmly believe that being apart from each other for days, weeks, or even months have brought us closer than we could've ever imagined. We knew that this would be difficult, and we knew that there would be bad days, but we decided to power through it. It has made each time that we are able to see each other so much more special and meaningful.

Seeing each other has become more of spending time with each other than just laying around on the couch playing around on our phones. It's become really getting to know each other better and catching up on all the things we had missed. It's become a time for us to simply be in each other's presence and enjoy being able to talk face to face without a phone in the middle of us. We go on more adventurous dates, we take more pictures, and I think we would both easily say that we fall more and more in love with each other after each opportunity we have to spend time together.

Spending time together is no longer a daily activity, but it has become a right to be earned through hard work and several paychecks as travel can become expensive. We no longer take opportunities to see each other for granted, and it has made us grow closer because we aren't able to spend time together often. We look forward to the days when we won't have to worry about being apart but know that this is only a stepping stone in our relationship.

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