As Long As You're Safe, You've Got Nothing To Lose Bouncing From Guy To Guy In Your 20s

Dating, relationships, and sex are all such controversial topics. We tend to judge each other heavily on who we date, sleep with, and end up in a relationship with.

Our early 20s are all about getting to know who we truly are, and I am a firm believer that the best way to do that is to be around other people.

Others teach us about ourselves, relationships especially. Through others, we find our boundaries, what we will and will not tolerate. We learn how we react to certain situations and where we fit in. Through others, we find what kind of people we want to be friends with and date. So why is dating around and hooking up considered so taboo? Doesn't experience make one wiser?

Recently, I've met a guy who quickly became interested in me.

One night, he invited me out with his best friends. While he pushed his way through the crowded bar to get some drinks, one of his friends, Taylor, started a conversation with me that made me raise an eyebrow. He began by asking me whether I was in a sorority, to which my answer was no.

"Nothing against sororities, but it's just not my thing," I said.

He nodded in approval and replied with, "Good. Because most sorority girls are whores."

I cannot say that his answer surprised me, because I have heard multiple guys call other girls degrading terms. It is sad to admit that this happens so often that I became immune to it. I thought to myself, so what if she sleeps around? Is getting to know what you like and gaining experience such a bad thing? I proceeded to ask him whether this certain girl he started talking about (who is in a sorority and a "whore", as he put it) is being safe and he replied with "Well yeah...but still."

Still what? Again, what is the big problem with a girl who wants to find more about herself and gain some experience? The answer is nothing. No, I am not encouraging anyone to do what they're not comfortable with. I am simply clarifying that we should try to stay away from judging others based on who they have been with and with how many people.

A lot of men prefer the "innocent," untouched, shy girl.

As a matter of fact, I always felt terrified talking to my ex-boyfriend about the people I have dated or hooked up with in the past. I didn't want his image of me as a "good girl" to change. This attitude is deeply flawed and men who decide whether a woman is "relationship material" by her body count or how many people she has dated are simply immature. I have also heard many men say that they like a girl, but won't date her because they know that she has slept around. Come on, seriously?

If you don't experiment, how will you know what you like? How will you be able to catch red flags in potential partners?

As for relationships, they are the best teachers. For instance, through my last relationship, I realized that I can sometimes get irrationally angry. The best part? I have worked on it and managed to fix this problem.

I truly believe that every heartbreak leads you closer to finding "the one."

Thank you, next. Cliche, but so true. I am honestly grateful for every single relationship I have had because they all taught me so much about myself and I hold zero resentments towards my ex-boyfriends.

In my humble opinion, as long as you are staying safe, you should not feel any shame about experimenting and figuring out who you like. Every person you meet can teach you something about yourself. Stay safe, approach it with a light heart, and try to learn something from every situation.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

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If You Go Into Summer 2019 Only Wanting A Summer Fling, You're Only Going To Be Disappointed

They may be fun but sometimes come with consequences.


We've all been through the summer flings. Summer is THE season where you have no commitment and are as free as can be with no care in the world. I've been on both ends of summer flings, from having one and cutting things off when summer ended and having one and gaining feelings for the other person... I've actually been dating my summer fling from 2017 for almost a year and a half now which was totally unexpected.

Back in Summer 2017, I was newly single and wasn't intentionally looking for a relationship since I just got out of one. I had a couple of small flings in the beginning, nothing serious at all. Until I met a boy in July from social media. We started talking and hit it off. We had a lot in common and enjoyed a lot of the same things. After a few weeks of talking, some flirting and a couple of dates... we had a fling going on. We weren't committed or anything, but we were both interested in each other. Long story short, I ended up really liking this guy and I could feel our fling diminishing, so I guess you could say I played some hard to get and "won" him over for good. It took a lot and I could definitely say it wasn't a care-free summer since I was trying to get him to make it official with me but now, here we are as boyfriend and girlfriend still to this day.

From my experiences and from friends experiences, summer flings almost always end with someone falling for you or you falling for them. And if you're really not looking for a relationship after summer, it can be quite hassle ending things for good due to feelings. Summer flings can also take time away from your family and friends. Everyone knows spending summer with someone you're interested in is fun, although it most likely won't be permanent, so why waste your time on them when you could be making those summer memories with your friends who will be there always?

A lot of the times, summer flings just involve hooking up and casual dates... nothing too serious. They don't involve "relationship" type feelings. But when you start to gain attachment to that person, sometimes they won't care like you do since summer flings are meant to be temporary. Of course, the person you have a fling with is someone you're into or at least think is good looking and when you find out you're not their only summer fling, jealousy can hit. Like stated above, summer is the season of no worries, and you shouldn't let jealousy take over your care-free attitude.

Summer flings, almost all the time, end in some sort of heartbreak when that isn't the intention in the beginning at all. But other times, they do work out and you guys call it quits and both move on or both end up in a relationship with each other (which was my case and I couldn't be happier to this day!). So, if your plan is to have a fling this upcoming summer, make sure you plan ahead for any type of scenarios that could potentially happen as well as know what you both want in the end.

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