Let's Be Real, Is Dating In 2019 Even Worth It If You Don't Want Something Serious?

Let's Be Real, Is Dating In 2019 Even Worth It If You Don't Want Something Serious?

Why waste your time dating someone if they don't want a serious commitment?

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I'll be honest here, dating in the 21st century is unbelievably hard. Back then it was either you were dating and in a relationship or you weren't dating at all.

Now it's you're either talking which means that you are still in that getting to know each other stage, dating which means that you guys have been on dates and you like each other but you are not tied down to each other and also possibly seeing other people, or you are in a relationship which that is self-explanatory.

I have had my fair share of dating and I tried that whole getting to know one person as well as going on dates with another person thing and I'll be honest with you; I am NOT a fan.

I have always been the type of girl that likes commitment. I like knowing that the person I am dating is only interested in me and no one else. I like only having dinner dates with one person and one person only. Who wants to keep track of a dinner date with Joe one night and then a coffee date with Bill the following Tuesday? That is just too much keeping up with for my mind. It may be the 21st century and dating multiple people in the getting to know you stage is a common thing now but; why do you want to waste your time with someone if they do not see a future with you or if they do not want anything serious right now?

I've only had maybe three serious relationships in my life and all of the other relationships I've had never lasted for more than possibly three or four months.

I love being in a relationship as much as the next person but I had a plan set out in my head. Be engaged by 26, married by 28, and have kids by 30 (I know unrealistic plan now since I'll be turning 24 this year) and typically within the first two months I can tell whether or not I see a future with this person and if I don't then we break up for one reason or another. Now, I am not saying that the guys I had short relationships with weren't great guys; they were nothing more than amazing guys who will one day make a girl very happy; I just wasn't the right girl for them.

We live in an era where everything is so casual and no one wants to be tied down to anyone.

But, the thing is; we all crave for that feeling of being wanted and being love; we may not admit it but we all want to have that special someone to wake up next to, be able to fall asleep cuddling with someone (unless you don't like cuddling which I know some of you don't), we all want to be spoiled from time to time and shown off to the world. At the end of the day; if we aren't serious about someone how are we going to be able to be treated the way we should be treated.

Now, I know that some of you reading this are probably thinking that when I say "being serious" I am talking about saying those three scary words or proposing. NO!

Yes being serious does mean all of those things but when I say a serious relationship I am talking about just dating one person and one person only even if you are still getting to know them. I am talking about after however long you feel comfortable with asking them to be monogamous. I am talking about being with each other in a relationship that will potentially lead to a marriage. I know; marriage sounds super scary but isn't that what a relationship is? It is being with someone who you enjoy being around, being with that person who makes you a better person who you can potentially see a long future with?

Not being tied down and seeing multiple people at the early stages of meeting someone may sound appealing at first but it never works out in the end. One person always gets attached and it is just a waste of time. So let's bring back dating one person at a time regardless of how long you've known them in 2019.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

To The Woman Who Needs To Be Wanted, Don’t Let Men Be Your Vice

It will only make you begin to despise yourself.
Cai Parks
Cai Parks
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By definition, a vice is a habitual or trivial defect... a shortcoming. Everyone has a vice.

Mine was men.

I always felt abandoned by the men in my life. I always clung to the opinions and attention of the boys around me...fighting for it in any way I could.

When I was younger, it was easy to get the attention of the boys my age by just dressing cute and having a bubbly personality.

As I got older though, I noticed that I was having to work harder and harder for their attention. Eventually, it turned into me feeling like I had to give myself to them in any way they asked to get their attention.

So that’s what I did.

I used my body as a way to fill some kind of void that I thought could be filled with the love of a man.

As the years went on, I felt myself clinging to not their love, but their lust.

I no longer cared about their love.

I just wanted to hear them call me hot, sexy, or beautiful. I knew they were using me.

I didn’t care.

I needed them to want me.

I needed them to beg.

I needed to feel needed.

For any woman who might feel as though a man’s lust for you can fill that deep void in your heart, take a step back. Trivial, temporary things like that will only make your heart heavier.

It will only make you begin to despise yourself.

There’s nothing wrong with living life the way you want or with who you want, but don’t use that lifestyle simply as a way to make you feel wanted.

Because my Prince Charming came into my life and I no longer needed any other man.

I finally felt truly loved and he helped me to learn that even without him, I would be more than a body.

He helped me see that I was a body, face, brain, smile, laugh, personality, and everything in between.

I am a strong woman now that I know my worth.

You are a strong woman.

Show your strength.

Know your worth.

Cover Image Credit: @thersagrant/Instagram
Cai Parks
Cai Parks

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Everything You Should Know Before Dating A Fitness Instructor

Sex, weights, cheat meal dates.

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As a fitness trainer, I know how much we love our job. How much we love the people we help and encourage. How much we never want to stop doing what we do. Yet, it's not all sunshine and rainbows. My boyfriend has to put up with some things that probably, kinda sorta are unconventional. But, he's living his dream (his words).

No matter what they teach, personal training, yoga, pilates, barre, HIIT, I could go on and on, but either way, they are passionate about the people they work with. This fire follows them throughout their life and will most definitely influence you.

1. Constant practicing

Don't be alarmed if you wake up to find her up and about practicing her routines for a class/client.

2. Gushing about a client who has been killing it 

No matter how much of a tough cookie we are, clients touch our hearts.

3. She's flexible

You. Are. Welcome. My best friends always introduce me to guys with, "She's really flexible ;)"

4. There's a routine, stick to it

We may be flexible, but don't come between her and her schedule. She is supported by her routine.

5. You are now a fitness class guinea pig

She needs you to help her rehearse. Approach her practice tests with enthusiasm and just have fun.

6. She'll never judge you

Don't ever feel pressured or intimidated. We love you for you. And, news flash, we are not perfect.

7. Always learning

Learning never ends. Learning new routines, learning new people, learning new emotions, learning new approaches to life.

8. And always eating

Teaching a few classes a day is tough on the body. We need our snacks. All. The. Time.

9. Stretches before bed... every night

No matter how tiring and long the day was, she will make sure to fit it a quick bend and no break.

10. The funny things that happened during class

Story time: One time I taught and my pants ripped. Only made the class more fun!

11. Shaker bottle vases

There's no need for vases, when shaker bottles do you justice. The first time my boyfriend brought home roses, I didn't have a vase so we improvised and used a shaker bottle. Now, that's the only vase we will ever need.

12. Free personal training

It's your dream come true. Fitness is at your right hand at all times. Plus, we will be pumped to start talking to you about our passion.

13. She talks endlessly about how well/not well your class went

Sometimes we kill it and sometimes... we fall a little short.

14.  Chugging water

We need to stay hydrated! Plus, she'll be your water tracker as she bugs you to drink with her. Shots! Shots! Shots (of water)!

15. Team work makes the dream work

There is no "I" in team and fitness instructors know the strength of collaboration and support. No one can go through journey a journey alone.

16. She wakes you up early to go on a run

Let's take a jog to the beach and watch the sunrise!

17. Protein, protein, and more protein

She doesn't have to be a weight lifter to assure that she nourishes her body with enough protein (from any source you prefer). My cupboard is always stocked with lentils and chickpeas.

18. Watching her watch fitness videos to get ideas

While you're reading the news, scrolling through Instagram, or just chilling out, she'll be watching workout videos or saving posts from fitness accounts.

19. Goes to bed super early

We need at least eight hours of beauty sleep and, let's be real, we are grandpas.

20.  She lives off of Spotify playlists

Wait, do you hear that song? What's it called, I need to add it to my workout playlist. Plus, she loves to sing (even if she isn't that good).

21.  Pulse 2, 3, 4

While she does chores, she'll start reciting her catchphrases and mantras.

22.  She's your forever cheerleader

Getting out of bed? If you don't squeeze it, no one else will! Washing the dishes? Let's go, you've got this! Running to the bathroom? One more minute! 30 more seconds! Mowing the lawn? You better feel it tomorrow!

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