Let's Be Real, Is Dating In 2019 Even Worth It If You Don't Want Something Serious?

Let's Be Real, Is Dating In 2019 Even Worth It If You Don't Want Something Serious?

Why waste your time dating someone if they don't want a serious commitment?

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I'll be honest here, dating in the 21st century is unbelievably hard. Back then it was either you were dating and in a relationship or you weren't dating at all.

Now it's you're either talking which means that you are still in that getting to know each other stage, dating which means that you guys have been on dates and you like each other but you are not tied down to each other and also possibly seeing other people, or you are in a relationship which that is self-explanatory.

I have had my fair share of dating and I tried that whole getting to know one person as well as going on dates with another person thing and I'll be honest with you; I am NOT a fan.

I have always been the type of girl that likes commitment. I like knowing that the person I am dating is only interested in me and no one else. I like only having dinner dates with one person and one person only. Who wants to keep track of a dinner date with Joe one night and then a coffee date with Bill the following Tuesday? That is just too much keeping up with for my mind. It may be the 21st century and dating multiple people in the getting to know you stage is a common thing now but; why do you want to waste your time with someone if they do not see a future with you or if they do not want anything serious right now?

I've only had maybe three serious relationships in my life and all of the other relationships I've had never lasted for more than possibly three or four months.

I love being in a relationship as much as the next person but I had a plan set out in my head. Be engaged by 26, married by 28, and have kids by 30 (I know unrealistic plan now since I'll be turning 24 this year) and typically within the first two months I can tell whether or not I see a future with this person and if I don't then we break up for one reason or another. Now, I am not saying that the guys I had short relationships with weren't great guys; they were nothing more than amazing guys who will one day make a girl very happy; I just wasn't the right girl for them.

We live in an era where everything is so casual and no one wants to be tied down to anyone.

But, the thing is; we all crave for that feeling of being wanted and being love; we may not admit it but we all want to have that special someone to wake up next to, be able to fall asleep cuddling with someone (unless you don't like cuddling which I know some of you don't), we all want to be spoiled from time to time and shown off to the world. At the end of the day; if we aren't serious about someone how are we going to be able to be treated the way we should be treated.

Now, I know that some of you reading this are probably thinking that when I say "being serious" I am talking about saying those three scary words or proposing. NO!

Yes being serious does mean all of those things but when I say a serious relationship I am talking about just dating one person and one person only even if you are still getting to know them. I am talking about after however long you feel comfortable with asking them to be monogamous. I am talking about being with each other in a relationship that will potentially lead to a marriage. I know; marriage sounds super scary but isn't that what a relationship is? It is being with someone who you enjoy being around, being with that person who makes you a better person who you can potentially see a long future with?

Not being tied down and seeing multiple people at the early stages of meeting someone may sound appealing at first but it never works out in the end. One person always gets attached and it is just a waste of time. So let's bring back dating one person at a time regardless of how long you've known them in 2019.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

11 Things The Man You Love Should Do For You, No Questions Asked

Sometimes it's just the simple things in life that mean a lot.

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Every girl feels special when the guy she's dating does simple things for her that not everyone thinks about. Here's a list of 10 things that every girl genuinely appreciates.

1. Open/Hold the door

I feel like this one is really simple because everyone has to walk through doors. Chivalry isn't dead, let him open the door for you. He's not trying to prove that you can't do it for yourself, but he's trying to be polite and show you that he cares for you.

2. Give you really big hugs

Everyone has bad days, and sometimes you just need a really big hug. Whether it be a bear hug or the hug where he picks you up and spins you around, it will make you feel better in the long run.

3. Buy you really small gifts

One of the best things my boyfriend has ever done for me is simply bringing me a Dr. Pepper when he knows I'm tired from a long hard day full of exams or work. Sonic slushes will also make my day in a heartbeat.

4. Text/Call you just to tell you he loves you

This is pretty simple. It takes less than 10 seconds to text, and only a few minutes to call. Sometimes you get these texts right at the perfect moment, and it makes you feel so much better.

5. Come see you when you're sick

Everyone hates being sick. But seeing your friends and family while you're sick can make you feel so much better. Having your boyfriend come to see you and possibly even take care of you just makes being sick that much easier.

6. Respect your decisions

You're not married yet, so your decisions are up to you! He should respect the decisions you make and support you, even if it's not what he thinks is the best decision. After all, you know yourself better than anyone else!

7. Give you a shoulder to cry on

We all have bad days, and sometimes you just can't stop the tears from coming. Even if he's not good with crying, he should give you hugs and love to help you get through it.

8. Compliment you

Even if you look horrible and know so, hopefully, he'll still tell you that you look good. Even if the clothes you're wearing aren't his style, he should still tell you that they look good on you and that you are beautiful each and every day.

9. Call you when you're away or he's away

If you're like me, I miss my boyfriend after being away for about three hours, so when we're apart for more than a couple days, I love getting random calls from him when he knows I'm not busy. It's definitely better than a text.

10. Deal with all your annoying quirks

So if you're anything like me, you enjoy screaming music as loudly and horribly as you can in the car and making a complete fool of yourself, but he should love you for that anyway. I also love to take really stupid pictures, and he should put up with that too. He shouldn't be annoyed by your quirks, he should love them and laugh along with you.

11. Love you no matter what

I honestly feel like this goes without saying, but I put it on here so that the girls who don't feel like they're being loved no matter what can realize. He should want to work out problems with you instead of calling it quits and holding a grudge. He should want you to be happy and support you in every decision you make in life. When he loves you unconditionally, he will do all of the above things and more.

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If You View Being In A Relationship As 'Losing Your Freedom,' You’re In The Wrong Relationship

Someone had to say it.

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Relationships are about being the best possible version of yourself separate and together. They're about growing with and doing life alongside your partner. They're fun, loving, and granted, they can sometimes be challenging.

Some challenges that frequently come up in relationships are disagreements (which are for sure gonna happen, because you're two individual people!), dealing with stress, and depending on where you're at in life, it could also be financial struggles. Of course, all relationships are going to have problems and everything won't always be “rainbows and butterflies" as Maroon 5 like to put it.

That being said though, one challenge that shouldn't ever be an issue in a relationship is the loss of freedom. Where did this idea come from?

I see it all the time, people talking about not wanting to get into a relationship because they don't want to "lose their freedom".

If you are in a relationship which causes you to lose your freedom, you are 100% in the wrong relationship.

Being in a relationship is not synonymous with not being able to be yourself or be able to do what you want. In a good relationship, you will be able to still have your alone time, be your own person, hang out with your friends, the list goes on and on. All of these things are so important. Relationships should never consume your life, they should complement it.

Why is this even a conversation we need to be having? Seriously.

Now obviously if you're referring to losing the option of getting with other people or dating around, then yes, you're right, you absolutely shouldn't get into a relationship... but that doesn't mean relationships mean losing your freedom.

If you are in a relationship with someone you love and respect, getting with other people isn't even going to be on your radar. It truly is that simple.

The trend of hating on relationships, for this reason, has gotten so out of hand in recent years, especially on social media. It's so frustrating, though, because it could not be any more inaccurate.

You should absolutely still have freedom in relationships. You can have it. I for one absolutely have it and do not view my relationship as the loss of freedom, at all. If you don't, maybe evaluate that relationship and realize it's not the best one to be in.

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