Hey Guys, The #MeToo Era Doesn’t Make It Harder For You To Date

Hey Guys, The #MeToo Era Doesn’t Make It Harder For You To Date

Women won't accuse you of sexual misconduct for asking them out, give me a break.

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In the current socio-political sphere of the United States, there exists a notion that now is a "difficult" time to be a man in our society due to the risk of being falsely accused of sexual misconduct.

Political figures and some men have been pushing the idea that dating is impossible in the #MeToo era, and that women are likely to take offense when a man pursues them.

Let me tell you; these two narratives are complete and utter nonsense.

For starters, the rates of false reports involving sexual misconduct cases are extremely low.

Second, the #MeToo movement doesn't exist as a way to make sexual, or dating violence against women seem "cool" or a trend a woman should get involved in to be mainstream.

It exists to bring to light how common sexual violence against women is in the United States and how it's so often swept under the carpet.

No sane woman is going to make up allegations against a man for the sake of being "cool" or "playing the victim card."

Any type of sexual assault is traumatic and violating to those who've experienced it. The vast majority of people recognize the severity and trauma associated with sexual misconduct situations.

The level of stigma that exists behind sexual misconduct as well as a legal system that often improperly addresses victims means that it's unlikely for victims to step forward.

And yet, we have people making the irrational claim that hoards of women influenced by the #MeToo movement are going to come and "ruin a man's life" with some sort of false claim.

Good god. Grow up.

Men are not victims in a dating world. Self-aware women who understand the systemic influence and proceedings associated with sexual violence and harassment are not threats to your masculinity.

Quite frankly, the men that seem to have the greatest fear of being accused are most likely the ones guilty of inappropriate, unhealthy or downright abusive behavior toward women.

Therefore, the men offended the most by women standing up for themselves and supporting survivors are likely a cause of sexual misconduct against women, and feel threatened that they are being held accountable for their behavior.

If you are a man who was an abusive boyfriend, I'm not sorry that no women in your social circles want to date you if they saw you be an asshole.

If you are a man who talks down to women and holds yourself above them because you don't value their place in society, I don't feel sorry for you if you can't get a date either. Women are people, not objects.

If you are a man who regularly engages in unsolicited sexting over social media and berates women for not replying, I'm not sorry for you either. Grow the hell up, have some dignity and show some respect.

And for the men out there that value women as human beings, support women's issues and treat us with respect, you will have no problem in the dating scene.

In fact, we'll likely seek YOU out since we know you'd make a good partner.

So if you are a guy out there that is frightened by prospects of a woman ripping your life apart because you asked her out in a respectful manner, don't fret.

The statistics tell the real story. And if you've ever bothered to listen to a woman in your life, you'd understand that sexual misconduct is one of the last things we'd want to experience.

So keep that swagger of yours. Ask women out in respectful ways. Appreciate us for who we are, and know that we want to feel safe and appreciated in the dating scene as much as you do.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

To The Woman Who Needs To Be Wanted, Don’t Let Men Be Your Vice

It will only make you begin to despise yourself.
Cai Parks
Cai Parks
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By definition, a vice is a habitual or trivial defect... a shortcoming. Everyone has a vice.

Mine was men.

I always felt abandoned by the men in my life. I always clung to the opinions and attention of the boys around me...fighting for it in any way I could.

When I was younger, it was easy to get the attention of the boys my age by just dressing cute and having a bubbly personality.

As I got older though, I noticed that I was having to work harder and harder for their attention. Eventually, it turned into me feeling like I had to give myself to them in any way they asked to get their attention.

So that’s what I did.

I used my body as a way to fill some kind of void that I thought could be filled with the love of a man.

As the years went on, I felt myself clinging to not their love, but their lust.

I no longer cared about their love.

I just wanted to hear them call me hot, sexy, or beautiful. I knew they were using me.

I didn’t care.

I needed them to want me.

I needed them to beg.

I needed to feel needed.

For any woman who might feel as though a man’s lust for you can fill that deep void in your heart, take a step back. Trivial, temporary things like that will only make your heart heavier.

It will only make you begin to despise yourself.

There’s nothing wrong with living life the way you want or with who you want, but don’t use that lifestyle simply as a way to make you feel wanted.

Because my Prince Charming came into my life and I no longer needed any other man.

I finally felt truly loved and he helped me to learn that even without him, I would be more than a body.

He helped me see that I was a body, face, brain, smile, laugh, personality, and everything in between.

I am a strong woman now that I know my worth.

You are a strong woman.

Show your strength.

Know your worth.

Cover Image Credit: @thersagrant/Instagram
Cai Parks
Cai Parks

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Everything You Should Know Before Dating A Fitness Instructor

Sex, weights, cheat meal dates.

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As a fitness trainer, I know how much we love our job. How much we love the people we help and encourage. How much we never want to stop doing what we do. Yet, it's not all sunshine and rainbows. My boyfriend has to put up with some things that probably, kinda sorta are unconventional. But, he's living his dream (his words).

No matter what they teach, personal training, yoga, pilates, barre, HIIT, I could go on and on, but either way, they are passionate about the people they work with. This fire follows them throughout their life and will most definitely influence you.

1. Constant practicing

Don't be alarmed if you wake up to find her up and about practicing her routines for a class/client.

2. Gushing about a client who has been killing it 

No matter how much of a tough cookie we are, clients touch our hearts.

3. She's flexible

You. Are. Welcome. My best friends always introduce me to guys with, "She's really flexible ;)"

4. There's a routine, stick to it

We may be flexible, but don't come between her and her schedule. She is supported by her routine.

5. You are now a fitness class guinea pig

She needs you to help her rehearse. Approach her practice tests with enthusiasm and just have fun.

6. She'll never judge you

Don't ever feel pressured or intimidated. We love you for you. And, news flash, we are not perfect.

7. Always learning

Learning never ends. Learning new routines, learning new people, learning new emotions, learning new approaches to life.

8. And always eating

Teaching a few classes a day is tough on the body. We need our snacks. All. The. Time.

9. Stretches before bed... every night

No matter how tiring and long the day was, she will make sure to fit it a quick bend and no break.

10. The funny things that happened during class

Story time: One time I taught and my pants ripped. Only made the class more fun!

11. Shaker bottle vases

There's no need for vases, when shaker bottles do you justice. The first time my boyfriend brought home roses, I didn't have a vase so we improvised and used a shaker bottle. Now, that's the only vase we will ever need.

12. Free personal training

It's your dream come true. Fitness is at your right hand at all times. Plus, we will be pumped to start talking to you about our passion.

13. She talks endlessly about how well/not well your class went

Sometimes we kill it and sometimes... we fall a little short.

14.  Chugging water

We need to stay hydrated! Plus, she'll be your water tracker as she bugs you to drink with her. Shots! Shots! Shots (of water)!

15. Team work makes the dream work

There is no "I" in team and fitness instructors know the strength of collaboration and support. No one can go through journey a journey alone.

16. She wakes you up early to go on a run

Let's take a jog to the beach and watch the sunrise!

17. Protein, protein, and more protein

She doesn't have to be a weight lifter to assure that she nourishes her body with enough protein (from any source you prefer). My cupboard is always stocked with lentils and chickpeas.

18. Watching her watch fitness videos to get ideas

While you're reading the news, scrolling through Instagram, or just chilling out, she'll be watching workout videos or saving posts from fitness accounts.

19. Goes to bed super early

We need at least eight hours of beauty sleep and, let's be real, we are grandpas.

20.  She lives off of Spotify playlists

Wait, do you hear that song? What's it called, I need to add it to my workout playlist. Plus, she loves to sing (even if she isn't that good).

21.  Pulse 2, 3, 4

While she does chores, she'll start reciting her catchphrases and mantras.

22.  She's your forever cheerleader

Getting out of bed? If you don't squeeze it, no one else will! Washing the dishes? Let's go, you've got this! Running to the bathroom? One more minute! 30 more seconds! Mowing the lawn? You better feel it tomorrow!

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