Even Though It’ll Test You, Please Stay With Your S.O. Through The Worst Parts Of Their Mental Illness

Even Though It’ll Test You, Please Stay With Your S.O. Through The Worst Parts Of Their Mental Illness

Because we need you more than ever right now and honestly, we can't do it without you.

22185
views

In a recent article on Vice's Broadly titled "Breaking Up With a Depressed Partner Doesn't Make You A Bad Person" the writer spoke about her own experience breaking up with a depressed partner and defended Ariana Grande's breakup with late rapper Mac Miller.

I disagree. I am that depressed partner. I will always be that depressed partner and leaving me will make me worse.

I understand that's a huge responsibility, I understand this is scary–but it if you sincerely love them, understand that you took up this responsibility when you claimed them as yours.

You are not responsible to make them happy at every given moment—you are not responsible for their self-harm, or even for their thoughts of suicide. But you should be responsible for pushing them for that extra help even if it hurts them when you tell them so.

Let's talk Mac and Arianna.

Let me make this crystal clear—Ariana is not responsible for Mac's death, Ariana was allowed to be happy without Mac. But she met someone and was engaged to them not even a month after their break up? Was Ariana leaving to get Mac to find help, or was she leaving because she cheated on him? Because she fell for someone else?

I just don't get it.



Put yourself in Mac's shoes, I have millions of times, even more since his death, and I would be broken.

Mac Miller admitted a drug problem in his music, in talking–did she not think he was going to use again?

I just wish she waited, and I know that's not fair to her. But, I just wish she waited for him to seriously get better. I'm broken over his death: it's so hard to see someone that appeared so strong break like that.

Let's get personal.

My boyfriend is the most happy-go-lucky kid I ever met. I rarely see him upset, and if he is he knows how to dig himself out of that rut and move on. He's always confused on why I stay sad all the time, and why I let small things affect me. I don't want to say that he doesn't get it, but it's true, most people just don't get it.

I'm always afraid that he'd leave because I'd start effecting his happiness, that he'd be embarrassed to have such a sad girlfriend and maybe that's my anxiety settling in but, they're actually my fears.

I know I'm not alone in this.

And if those fears came true one day, if he left me because he thought it would better me, and if he meant that. I can promise you–my depression and anxiety would never, ever let me believe that.

You know, when you're in those lows. You'll never believe that anyone is there for you.

Take this for an example:

My therapist always told me to think about my mother and my parents when you're in that dark place. When you want to OD, or end your life. I have never in my life not thought about my parents when I do something, but hell, it's so freaking hard to make myself understand how broken my parents would be if I killed myself, but even just hurt myself.

And that they're there for you, always.

One time, I was in one of my "depressive episodes" and I told my boyfriend to "just break up with me." It was empowering to watch something so huge deflect right off of him like he didn't even hear it. He just kept walking and let me calm down.

Because did I want him to break up with me? No.

He was strong enough to just hug me right after and tell me he loved me. He was strong enough to be strong for me in that moment.

And he's strong enough every day to love someone that can be so broken and I have no idea what I would do if I lost that.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Being Far Away From My Boyfriend Actually Strengthened Our Relationship Instead Of Forcing It Apart

While we were apart, we became closer.

922
views

Before I really start this article, I just want to say that my relationship isn't truly a long distance relationship. We are both college students at the same university eight months out of the year, but the other four months we live quite a distance apart. Even during those four months, we are only about 150 miles from each other as the bird flies, but really about three hours from each other.

Being in a relationship where I'm not able to see my boyfriend every day or even every week has been a real challenge. But it's been a good challenge. It hasn't been a challenge because I've felt unfaithful or fallen out of love with him in any way. It's challenging because I miss him. We both work jobs and our schedules aren't the same and oftentimes we aren't able to talk to each other unless it's early in the morning or late at night. There are times when all I want to do is talk to him and tell him about how my day went and get a big bear hug from him. Unfortunately, I'm not really able to do this.

I firmly believe that being apart from each other for days, weeks, or even months have brought us closer than we could've ever imagined. We knew that this would be difficult, and we knew that there would be bad days, but we decided to power through it. It has made each time that we are able to see each other so much more special and meaningful.

Seeing each other has become more of spending time with each other than just laying around on the couch playing around on our phones. It's become really getting to know each other better and catching up on all the things we had missed. It's become a time for us to simply be in each other's presence and enjoy being able to talk face to face without a phone in the middle of us. We go on more adventurous dates, we take more pictures, and I think we would both easily say that we fall more and more in love with each other after each opportunity we have to spend time together.

Spending time together is no longer a daily activity, but it has become a right to be earned through hard work and several paychecks as travel can become expensive. We no longer take opportunities to see each other for granted, and it has made us grow closer because we aren't able to spend time together often. We look forward to the days when we won't have to worry about being apart but know that this is only a stepping stone in our relationship.

OMG, check these out

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

It’s Harder FINDING Someone Who Wants To Be In A Relationship Than Actually Being In One

Oh millennials, we have made a mess of the dating scene...

1209
views

I got super lucky once.

I wasn't looking for a guy, but I happened to find the exact one who wanted a long relationship. It's always when you least suspect it, isn't it? I'm newly single, but not quite ready to mingle.

Sure, there are plenty of new fish in the sea, but even they aren't sure if they are ready to sink or swim yet.

No, it doesn't have to be hard to have a relationship. I did long-distance on-and-off for four years, but we pushed through it because we cared about the relationship.

People can make it really tough on themselves to find that perfect person. It makes sense, we all want the right person that fits all of our needs and checks all of our boxes. But I think we as a society are a little more flawed than that. We also have needs of our own and those needs can really get in the way of our time together.

Say you find a person you could see yourself really being with. They will be there for your crying sessions, when you fail a test, when a loved one dies. But will they be there to also lift you up in your darkest moments and laugh together at every free moment? It seems a lot to ask of somebody, but in reality, it's just living.

Avril Lavigne was right, "why do you have to go and makes things so complicated?" In the long run, you'll always be upset if you keep up a checklist that no one can master. I'm finding out myself that not everyone is able to fulfill the basic requirements of a fun loving and easygoing boyfriend, but there is hope that one day, someone will.

OMG, check these out

Facebook Comments