What Is "Curving" Someone When Dating?
As the definition above suggests, curving someone is essentially rejecting them without spelling it out for them, aka stringing them along. Things like purposefully dodging plans, making it impossible to even schedule them because you're "busy," canceling regularly, making excuses, etc., are all examples of curving. While it's not as blatantly controversial as ghosting or zombieing, curving can be just as annoying because everyone's time is being wasted.
How Do You Tell If Someone's Curving You?
There are many different signs you can pick up on if someone is curving you, some of which include:
- You're always the one making the plans
- You're always the one who texts first
- It takes them hours or days to respond to your texts, DMs, snaps, etc (if they do at all)
- They don't show interest in their messages and are always giving short responses
- They cancel plans regularly and don't make an effort to reschedule
- They use read receipts
- They're always busy
What To Do If You're Being Curved
In my eyes, you have two options.
First, you could simply stop texting them and putting in an effort and let it fizzle out on its own. I mean, they don't care to put in time anyway and it takes two for a relationship, so it's not all your problem and it's not technically ghosting if both parties stop reaching out.
Second, you could bring it up to them and straight up say you're not going to waste your time anymore. I prefer "Hey, I know you're really busy, but I'm looking for someone who is willing to put in an effort. I've enjoyed our time together, but I think we're on different pages. Good luck!" If they respond, hopefully, it's to say something that'll give you some closure, but if not, you did your part and don't have to worry about a thing. It's them, not you!
How To Avoid Curving Someone
It's simple, really, and I can't believe I have to spell this out, but just be a good person! If you're not really feeling someone, tell them. Sure, it might sting at first, but it's far less painful for them to know early on than the alternative of leading them on, breaking their heart, ghosting them, etc. The thing is, feelings aren't always reciprocated and that's life — we all learn it the hard way at some point. But honesty is always better than any other option.
So, instead of playing "nice" and postponing the rejection to avoid hurting their feelings, rip the Band-Aid off. They'll be thankful you did (and probably a bit refreshed since they're not used to people just being honest).
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