I Asked 20 People What Their Deal Breakers Are In A Relationship And Here Are The Results

I Asked 20 People What Their Deal Breakers Are In A Relationship And Here Are The Results

We all have a line we have to draw at some point.
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Romantic relationships. Almost everyone will experience at least one throughout their life time. Dating is a source of enjoyment and entertainment. You find someone who you can cuddle with, joke around with, go on dates with, etc. Dating may be all smiles and fun at first, but along with finding a person who you can be intimate with, comes complications.

I was curious so I went around and asked 20 people their gender, age, sexuality and what they simply cannot overlook in a relationship, and here's the results!

1. Female, 20, straight

"My deal breaker is when they are too clingy and insist on doing EVERYTHING together. I like having time with them but also time away with friends."

2. Female, 18, straight

"The biggest deal breaker for me is if they are humble. I love when a guy can be proud of all he has accomplished but not flaunt it and be all cocky about it. It drives me crazy! Almost seems like he cares only about himself."

3. Male, 20, straight

"Mine is bad teeth. It makes her more attractive if she has straight teeth. I guess that's just my initial observation."

4. Female, 20, straight

"A guy that asks for nudes."

5. Male, 22, straight

"If you ever cheat, we're done. No more trust ever again."

6. Female, 18, straight

"My deal breaker would be continuous lying. I can't stand it."

7. Female, 18, straight

"I'd say someone who isn't nice to my friends. My friends are a big part of my life and they'd just have to get along."

8. Male, 19, gay

"Height, teeth, weight. I have really high standards."

9. Male, 19, straight

"Bad teeth, because you don't want to show that woman off then. You don't want to kiss her, it makes her face unattractive."

10. Male, 19, straight

"When she smokes anything because I don't like smoking and the smell."

11. Female, 20, bisexual

"My biggest deal breaker would be that he doesn't want a family in the future. I very much want to be a mom."

12. Female, 19, straight

"Clinginess. I understand that a partner is supposed to be your best friend but when we go out with friends or to the bars, I don't want to be attached at the hip! I like to roam and mingle and make friends. Also, extreme PDA like a little is okay but don't suck my face everywhere we go."

13. Female, 19, straight

"When someone doesn't take no as an answer."

14. Female, 18, straight

"Deal breakers: cigarettes; nasty and expensive habit. Not good with money; kind of obvious but wouldn't plan well for the future. Immature; like always having to do stuff for them or bailing them out. Doesn't make me better or bring out the best in me; this is the MOST important because I want to make the boyfriend happy but if I'm not happy then there's no relationship."

15. Male, 21, straight

"People not being trusting. Because if someone doesn't trust you (and you haven't given them a reason not to trust you) then they question everything and it always leads to an argument and it just isn't healthy for a relationship."

16. Female, 18, straight

"Bad teeth and talks about themselves constantly."

17. Female, 21, bisexual

"A deal breaker for me is a future. If you're moving away after college or want completely different things in the future than me, then I'm going to have to pass. I don't want to waste time and emotions on someone who I know won't be there in a year. Also I'm not attracted to people who aren't working towards a future of their own. It's okay to have a dead end job now, but if you are okay with being stagnant in life (which in my expeirences I see a lot of people are), then I'm not interested. #idontwantascrub."

18. Male, 19, straight

"Here is my biggest deal breaker in a relationship: someone who doesn't have any ambitions, goals, dreams... etc. If they don't have anything they want to pursue in life, then there is no way I would pursue a relationship with them!"

19. Female, 18, straight

"No relationship with the Lord."

20. Female, 18, straight

"The number one deal breaker for me in a relationship is when a guy isn't willing to introduce me to his friends and family. I understand that for some, a little time has to have passed for him to feel comfortable, but when a significant amount of time has passed and he still won't let me hang out with his friends or meet his family, it makes me feel like he's embarrassed by me and doesn't care."

After asking these people what their deal breakers are, it appears that many of them relate somehow. All in all, everyone who's in or has been in a relationship has a pet peeve of some sort. Happy end-of-cuffing season!

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

An Open Letter To The Girl In A Toxic Relationship Who Doesn't See The Signs To Let Go

"it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing" -R.H Sin

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Dear you,

I hope you're doing well. I once thought I was too. I once thought that if he would just change, for me, everything would work. However, my sweet girl, you should not have to change people, you should not have to push people to be better, for you. You cannot help anyone, that does not want to help themselves.

In the movies, we learn to love a bad boy that needs changing. However, it isn't always your job to be boys saving grace. However, his shaming and emotional abuse is not just something you should put up with so that you can love him. That is not loving.

Love is not a constant competition of who could belittle the other one first. Love is not asking for a hug and being told no. Love does not make you feel stupid for bringing up things that hurt your feelings.

Love does not grow angry because you talk to your mom about your feelings. Love does not body shame. Love does not constantly change the passcode to their phone.

Love does not laugh when you find out they're unfaithful. Love does not tell you that you are not smart enough to accomplish anything. Love does not force their hand up your thigh when the words "no" slip out of your mouth.

Love is the warmth of a hand on your cheek when you get anxious. Love is getting your backpack out the car for you. Love is turning around when you need them. Love compromises.

Love is encouraging. Love is proud. Love is forgiving. Love sees you for who you are. Love knows you are worthy.

God is your Father and you are His daughter, so do not believe for one second that this abuse is the love you think you deserve.

Love will not always be easy. Love will be challenging and a constant prayer to not anger so quickly.

However, do not mix up challenging with the abuse. If you are losing the good pieces of yourself, then it isn't love. I know that you put a lot of time and effort into this relationship, but it is no good, you are holding on to someone whose heart is not in the right place to love you.

I connected with a poem from R. H. Sin, once I left my toxic relationship which reads, "it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing."

Darling girl, you are so loved by so many people, do not let this relationship hold you back or make you feel less worthy than you are. I have always been the girl with her nose stuck up in the air smelling for smoke, to follow the trail to a burning house to find a boy that needed saving, but it is more than likely a boy that lit the fire in the first place and needs changing.

So, do not be me, be better. Be the girl that lights her own world on fire, for her work, for her family, for God. You are you and you are amazing, so do not fear being without him.

You will feel as if you have come up for air after drowning in an ocean that you had no idea you were swimming in.

The emotional abuse that this boy has put you through and maybe even physical abuse will leave you building walls around your heart. It will make other relationships hard, but you are so so strong.

You will meet someone that makes you so happy and feel so easy to love, you will never understand how you stuck around with the one that hurt you for so long.

You deserve to grow from this, and I promise you will.

Let go.

xoxo,

The girl who learned from a toxic relationship

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Being Far Away From My Boyfriend Actually Strengthened Our Relationship Instead Of Forcing It Apart

While we were apart, we became closer.

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Before I really start this article, I just want to say that my relationship isn't truly a long distance relationship. We are both college students at the same university eight months out of the year, but the other four months we live quite a distance apart. Even during those four months, we are only about 150 miles from each other as the bird flies, but really about three hours from each other.

Being in a relationship where I'm not able to see my boyfriend every day or even every week has been a real challenge. But it's been a good challenge. It hasn't been a challenge because I've felt unfaithful or fallen out of love with him in any way. It's challenging because I miss him. We both work jobs and our schedules aren't the same and oftentimes we aren't able to talk to each other unless it's early in the morning or late at night. There are times when all I want to do is talk to him and tell him about how my day went and get a big bear hug from him. Unfortunately, I'm not really able to do this.

I firmly believe that being apart from each other for days, weeks, or even months have brought us closer than we could've ever imagined. We knew that this would be difficult, and we knew that there would be bad days, but we decided to power through it. It has made each time that we are able to see each other so much more special and meaningful.

Seeing each other has become more of spending time with each other than just laying around on the couch playing around on our phones. It's become really getting to know each other better and catching up on all the things we had missed. It's become a time for us to simply be in each other's presence and enjoy being able to talk face to face without a phone in the middle of us. We go on more adventurous dates, we take more pictures, and I think we would both easily say that we fall more and more in love with each other after each opportunity we have to spend time together.

Spending time together is no longer a daily activity, but it has become a right to be earned through hard work and several paychecks as travel can become expensive. We no longer take opportunities to see each other for granted, and it has made us grow closer because we aren't able to spend time together often. We look forward to the days when we won't have to worry about being apart but know that this is only a stepping stone in our relationship.

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