I Asked 20 People What Their Deal Breakers Are In A Relationship And Here Are The Results

I Asked 20 People What Their Deal Breakers Are In A Relationship And Here Are The Results

We all have a line we have to draw at some point.

Romantic relationships. Almost everyone will experience at least one throughout their life time. Dating is a source of enjoyment and entertainment. You find someone who you can cuddle with, joke around with, go on dates with, etc. Dating may be all smiles and fun at first, but along with finding a person who you can be intimate with, comes complications.

I was curious so I went around and asked 20 people their gender, age, sexuality and what they simply cannot overlook in a relationship, and here's the results!

1. Female, 20, straight

"My deal breaker is when they are too clingy and insist on doing EVERYTHING together. I like having time with them but also time away with friends."

2. Female, 18, straight

"The biggest deal breaker for me is if they are humble. I love when a guy can be proud of all he has accomplished but not flaunt it and be all cocky about it. It drives me crazy! Almost seems like he cares only about himself."

3. Male, 20, straight

"Mine is bad teeth. It makes her more attractive if she has straight teeth. I guess that's just my initial observation."

4. Female, 20, straight

"A guy that asks for nudes."

5. Male, 22, straight

"If you ever cheat, we're done. No more trust ever again."

6. Female, 18, straight

"My deal breaker would be continuous lying. I can't stand it."

7. Female, 18, straight

"I'd say someone who isn't nice to my friends. My friends are a big part of my life and they'd just have to get along."

8. Male, 19, gay

"Height, teeth, weight. I have really high standards."

9. Male, 19, straight

"Bad teeth, because you don't want to show that woman off then. You don't want to kiss her, it makes her face unattractive."

10. Male, 19, straight

"When she smokes anything because I don't like smoking and the smell."

11. Female, 20, bisexual

"My biggest deal breaker would be that he doesn't want a family in the future. I very much want to be a mom."

12. Female, 19, straight

"Clinginess. I understand that a partner is supposed to be your best friend but when we go out with friends or to the bars, I don't want to be attached at the hip! I like to roam and mingle and make friends. Also, extreme PDA like a little is okay but don't suck my face everywhere we go."

13. Female, 19, straight

"When someone doesn't take no as an answer."

14. Female, 18, straight

"Deal breakers: cigarettes; nasty and expensive habit. Not good with money; kind of obvious but wouldn't plan well for the future. Immature; like always having to do stuff for them or bailing them out. Doesn't make me better or bring out the best in me; this is the MOST important because I want to make the boyfriend happy but if I'm not happy then there's no relationship."

15. Male, 21, straight

"People not being trusting. Because if someone doesn't trust you (and you haven't given them a reason not to trust you) then they question everything and it always leads to an argument and it just isn't healthy for a relationship."

16. Female, 18, straight

"Bad teeth and talks about themselves constantly."

17. Female, 21, bisexual

"A deal breaker for me is a future. If you're moving away after college or want completely different things in the future than me, then I'm going to have to pass. I don't want to waste time and emotions on someone who I know won't be there in a year. Also I'm not attracted to people who aren't working towards a future of their own. It's okay to have a dead end job now, but if you are okay with being stagnant in life (which in my expeirences I see a lot of people are), then I'm not interested. #idontwantascrub."

18. Male, 19, straight

"Here is my biggest deal breaker in a relationship: someone who doesn't have any ambitions, goals, dreams... etc. If they don't have anything they want to pursue in life, then there is no way I would pursue a relationship with them!"

19. Female, 18, straight

"No relationship with the Lord."

20. Female, 18, straight

"The number one deal breaker for me in a relationship is when a guy isn't willing to introduce me to his friends and family. I understand that for some, a little time has to have passed for him to feel comfortable, but when a significant amount of time has passed and he still won't let me hang out with his friends or meet his family, it makes me feel like he's embarrassed by me and doesn't care."

After asking these people what their deal breakers are, it appears that many of them relate somehow. All in all, everyone who's in or has been in a relationship has a pet peeve of some sort. Happy end-of-cuffing season!

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

8 Qualities That Still Hold Up When Looking For The 'Perfect Guy' In 2019

He hasn't come along yet, but I'll know him when I see him.


Ah, the mythical "perfect guy." Technically, he doesn't exist.

But there are guys that seem perfect to the people who love them despite their flaws. Over the years, I've compiled a mental list of things I look for in a guy. The list has changed over the years as different things became important to me. It's probably as complex and comprehensive now as it'll ever get, but I can't be sure.

The following are in order of importance, at least for me. Here are the best qualities to look for in a man in 2019:

1. Having strong faith.

This is crucial! I'm Christian, so for me, that means if he's not a Christian, it's a dealbreaker. My morals and beliefs are very strongly linked to my faith in God, and I just can't be with someone who doesn't share that conviction. I wouldn't marry a man who's not a Christian, so why even bother dating one?

"Imagine a man so focused on God that the only reason he looked up to see you is because he heard God say, 'That's her.'"

2. Kind

This is also very important! I've liked guys in the past who had some of the other qualities I looked for I but weren't kind. A relationship without kindness is toxic. Everyone deserves someone who treats them well, but that person should treat everyone well. They shouldn't discriminate with their kindness.

3. Funny

I need a guy who can make me laugh! He also needs to be able to understand my sense of humor, which is mostly sarcasm. I find a lot of things funny: jokes, puns, memes, no matter how seemingly stupid. If you've got those, you're golden.

4. Smart

Intelligence is attractive. It's true. I want a guy who's smart but isn't conceited. He knows he knows a lot but he doesn't think he's better than everyone else. He doesn't have to be a genius. He could be really smart in one subject, or kind of smart in many subjects. I just want him to know a thing or two about a thing or two.

5. Hardworking

My guy needs to be ambitious. He needs to have goals that he works toward. He can't be lazy. I believe that it is primarily the man's duty to financially support his woman. This is most applicable in marriage, but it works in dating relationships, too. I don't want someone who is unable to provide for me. In order to do that, he needs to be able to provide for himself.

6. Cute

You knew I'd get to this! I'm not blind, after all. Trust me, I think it's important for a guy to be attractive. But it's not as important as everything listed above this. I've been told I have weird taste in guys in terms of looks. What I see as cute doesn't always line up with society's definition. The important thing is that I'm attracted to him. Physical attraction is important in a relationship. To be picky: I don't like facial hair or too much muscle. I do like chest hair and back muscles.

7. Creative

This can mean a lot of different things. He could draw, paint, write, sing, play an instrument, etc. As long as it shows that he's inclined to use the right side of his brain. I'm a writer, so I'm naturally more drawn to people who prefer creativity over logic.

8. Interested in Me

Despite being last, this is extremely important! Without this, none of the other things matter. It's just like every other crush I've ever had. Nothing different. Nothing special. While I've been able to find guys who exhibit the first seven qualities, the eighth has been much harder to come by. I've never been in a relationship, so I imagine it will be really wonderful when I eventually find someone who reciprocates my feelings.

Some people may think my standards are too high, but I refuse to lower them. I believe that God has someone out there for me who lives up to these standards and even exceeds them. I just have to be patient and trust His timing.

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The Friend You Like Romantically Doesn't Owe You Anything

The friend-zone can be escaped, but not in the way you might want

We've all heard the story of the "friend-zone." Boy is in love with his best friend, she dates all the wrong guys and fails to notice how perfect he is, then eventually realizes how wrong she was and they live happily ever after.

I used to think that the friend-zone was a myth that lonely men created to feel better about themselves. But then I got friend-zoned myself.

Yes, it sucked, but the second I realized I had feelings for a friend (that I knew had no such feelings for me), I decided to suppress the feelings. When that wasn't enough, I cut them off for a bit, then, slowly, I felt OK. I could communicate with them without having unwanted romantic feelings pop up. I had escaped the friend-zone.

Having gone through that, I had more sympathy for someone I had to friend-zone a little while later. I had been friends with this guy for a few months. I didn't have many college friends yet and I was really lonely, so having his company really meant a lot at the time.

This caused me to not be able to see what should have been clear: he had a crush on me. When I finally made the realization, I immediately let him know that I didn't feel that way about him. He said it was OK, but I could tell it wasn't.

We didn't talk at all over the summer and when we came back for the fall semester, he would barely look at me. I had started dating his friend, which caused an even bigger rift between us.

Though I understand where he's coming from, I was also really mad at him for a long time.

It was as if he was only nice to me because he wanted romance in return. But people are not vending machines. You can't put in your "nice guy" coins and expect love, sex, or whatever the hell it is you want in return.

It hurt me to know that he only wanted romance and once that was off the table, he no longer wanted anything to do with me.

But then I thought back to the friend that had friend-zoned me. Unrequited affections really suck, especially when they're for someone that you spend a lot of time with. But the key is to work to escape it.

Yes, liking someone you're friends with and them not liking you back is a real thing, but people tend to treat the friend-zone like this mythic hell dimension that can never be escaped. But you can escape. Just maybe not in the way you'd like to.

Now there are three ways you can escape the friend-zone:

The first option is to confess your feelings and try to win them over. Now, this isn't completely unheard of. I've had friends that have dated people who had previously friend-zoned them, but it's extremely rare and risky. You have to risk your entire friendship in order to do this. If it doesn't work out, it could strain the friendship or sometimes break it beyond repair.

You can also do what my ex-friend did and completely cut the person off. If you're being a love-zombie and only doing nice things for the friend because you expect romance in return, leaving the situation might be the most healthy decision for you. I understand now that my friend might have stopped talking to me out of self-preservation. But it still hurts the people involved.

The third and final option is to just get over it. It's harsh, but it's real. Why try something you know is going to fail and cause pain to both sides? Yes, getting over crushes can be really difficult, but getting a normal friendship back rather than being stuck a love-zombie for them is worth the pain.

Whichever one you choose, just remember this: Your friends do not owe you any romantic affection. The work you put into making them happy should just come out of the goodness of your own heart. If you expect romance in return, you're not being a good friend to them. If you really care about them, don't put that kind of pressure on them. They don't want a mindless love-zombie that does their bidding for the hope that they'll get a tiny love kernel out of it. They just want a friend.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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