Thank You To The Girlfriends Who Inspire Us

Thank You To The Girlfriends Who Inspire Us

For everything you are and everything you do.
319
views

For another year, Valentine's day has come and gone. Whether you were at home being salty because that guy STILL fails to notice you, or you were out wining and dining with your boo, I think we can all agree that Valentine's day is the perfect time of the year to reflect on love.

You can either want nothing to do with that treacherous four-letter word or be absolutely blinded by it. Regardless of what side you're on, I think it's time we said thank you. Thank you to those that play a huge role in making us who we are. To those that always have our backs no matter what, and are always ready to pick us up when we're down.

Girlfriends, this one is for you.

As a guy, I know it's easy to think that it's hard for us to explain our feelings or get all mushy, but I feel it's about time somebody broke that rough exterior.

After all fellas, wouldn't you agree? Be honest, where would we be without the strong women in our lives? They're already strong enough to put up with us, shouldn't we show some appreciation for that?

No, but seriously now. I always see articles about being ghosted, college "baes" we wish we had, or "a letter to the guy that tried to break my best friend's heart," but you rarely ever see an appreciation article for the women that are always there for us. I personally feel that our girlfriends are very much underappreciated. For the guys out there who were also raised by strong, independent women, I'm pretty sure you know exactly what I'm talking about.

I remember being in middle school and having my first "legit" girlfriend. I remember trying my absolute best and even spending my last dollar just to have someone show some love my way because it was this new, exciting thing I've basically never experienced before.

I know a lot of us can remember our first relationships, whether they were the best things ever or just absolute failures. They're memorable because they gave us our first shot of love that a lot of us craved so much to have, and even molded how most of our future relationships would play out. Now maybe I'm just saying this because again, I was raised by nothing but amazing, strong, independent women, but I can't help but think that if it weren't for all those paths and experiences I wouldn't be with the one I love today.

Girlfriends, I want you to know right off the bat that us guys love you for way more than just physical attraction.

To think someone is cute or just downright "sexy" is one thing, but to have someone who appreciates you and helps you develop as a human being is another. I can't even hold back my smile while writing this because I know I have someone in my corner who does that exact thing. When you love us for who we are and help us unlock our full potential, it creates this feeling of love and appreciation that can never be matched.

It's no secret that growing up, a lot of guys are told to be strong and not show emotion. What happens when we need to though? Let's say when our dog passes or classes are just so difficult you want to scream, who can we rely on? Now before you say your parents, think about the girl you ACTUALLY text all day. The one who you can't be without for over 24 hours and is always there with a quick reply when you need it.

Knowing that someone is there for us no matter what always makes everything that much easier. Like yeah, I bombed that math test, but you still think I'm smart right? It gives us the drive to do better, and eventually succeed in whatever it is that we're doing. Whether it's a mental or physical adjustment, having you back us up means the world to us.

We appreciate you because you teach us. Now there's no easy way to put this so I'm going to dive right in. Above raising our IQ every day with academic knowledge, you inform us about stuff that, for most guys, is like a foreign language. By that, I'm saying thank you for teaching us about your body and the constant struggles that you go through.

Now I know it's not an easy topic, but as a guy, I feel like it's our responsibility to learn and understand the struggles that women go through. My girlfriend has taught me SO MUCH about what it means to be a woman in today's day and age. Whether it's about periods (wow such threatening word much scared), getting cat-called on the street, going shopping, or just blatant sexism, we wouldn't be as knowledgeable as we are today without you in our corner.

Guys, once you understand what she goes through, don't be afraid to talk about it. Offer your hand to buy some feminine hygiene products or just spoil her every once in a while. A small gesture makes a big difference, and the least we can do for them is show that we care about their wel-lbeing—mentally and physically.

Because of you, I can't wait to have my own daughters and help them grow to be just as amazing as a lot of passionate and driven women out there.

I can't wait to help them acknowledge that everything they face is natural and that if they ever need something, I'll always be there because YOU taught me about those struggles.

We appreciate you because you elevate us. As mentioned a bit before, it's a lot more than just physical attraction. At this stage in our lives, I'm pretty sure a lot of us are looking for that person that can tolerate us for extended periods of time without wanting to pull their hair out. Once you become that person that we can envision a life with, we keep you closer than Obama keeps Joe Biden.

You become our best friends. You elevate us to the point where we learn not only more about ourselves but the world around us.

You have the ability to instill in us a drive that almost no other person can do.

Once we have that drive to be successful together, no one can stop us. I know it's all about self-love, but once you have someone that loves you even when you hate yourself, it makes life in general that much easier.

In my opinion, the only thing more amazing than a woman who loves you no matter what is a woman who teaches you, motivates you, and drives you no matter what. O

nce you help elevate us to your level, it's almost like the greatest gift you could possibly bestow upon us.

Overall, I'm writing this to say thank you to the unsung heroes that care for us on a daily basis. No matter your orientation, race, gender or belief I think we can all say that our girlfriends are always there to back us up and pick us up when we need it.

For that, we say thank you.


And for my girlfriend, Lanette. I want you to know that I appreciate you with every fiber of my being. As I don't want to make this a love letter, I want you to know though that you help drive my inspiration for many things. My passion for love, equality, intelligence, and life all have grown because you were there to guide and love me. Without you, I wouldn't be at the college I'm at now, I wouldn't be an Odyssey writer, and I most definitely wouldn't have as much fun as I do with you, with anyone else. You are the best, and no matter what, I will be there for you just like you are for me. I love you. I thank you.

I hope everyone's Valentine's Day was filled with love and appreciation. For those who haven't found that person yet, just wait. Because you never know who's going to be waiting around the corner for you to be thankful for.

Cover Image Credit: Kory Longsworth

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

8 Qualities That Still Hold Up When Looking For The 'Perfect Guy' In 2019

He hasn't come along yet, but I'll know him when I see him.

1447
views

Ah, the mythical "perfect guy." Technically, he doesn't exist.

But there are guys that seem perfect to the people who love them despite their flaws. Over the years, I've compiled a mental list of things I look for in a guy. The list has changed over the years as different things became important to me. It's probably as complex and comprehensive now as it'll ever get, but I can't be sure.

The following are in order of importance, at least for me. Here are the best qualities to look for in a man in 2019:

1. Having strong faith.

This is crucial! I'm Christian, so for me, that means if he's not a Christian, it's a dealbreaker. My morals and beliefs are very strongly linked to my faith in God, and I just can't be with someone who doesn't share that conviction. I wouldn't marry a man who's not a Christian, so why even bother dating one?

"Imagine a man so focused on God that the only reason he looked up to see you is because he heard God say, 'That's her.'"

2. Kind

This is also very important! I've liked guys in the past who had some of the other qualities I looked for I but weren't kind. A relationship without kindness is toxic. Everyone deserves someone who treats them well, but that person should treat everyone well. They shouldn't discriminate with their kindness.

3. Funny

I need a guy who can make me laugh! He also needs to be able to understand my sense of humor, which is mostly sarcasm. I find a lot of things funny: jokes, puns, memes, no matter how seemingly stupid. If you've got those, you're golden.

4. Smart

Intelligence is attractive. It's true. I want a guy who's smart but isn't conceited. He knows he knows a lot but he doesn't think he's better than everyone else. He doesn't have to be a genius. He could be really smart in one subject, or kind of smart in many subjects. I just want him to know a thing or two about a thing or two.

5. Hardworking

My guy needs to be ambitious. He needs to have goals that he works toward. He can't be lazy. I believe that it is primarily the man's duty to financially support his woman. This is most applicable in marriage, but it works in dating relationships, too. I don't want someone who is unable to provide for me. In order to do that, he needs to be able to provide for himself.

6. Cute

You knew I'd get to this! I'm not blind, after all. Trust me, I think it's important for a guy to be attractive. But it's not as important as everything listed above this. I've been told I have weird taste in guys in terms of looks. What I see as cute doesn't always line up with society's definition. The important thing is that I'm attracted to him. Physical attraction is important in a relationship. To be picky: I don't like facial hair or too much muscle. I do like chest hair and back muscles.

7. Creative

This can mean a lot of different things. He could draw, paint, write, sing, play an instrument, etc. As long as it shows that he's inclined to use the right side of his brain. I'm a writer, so I'm naturally more drawn to people who prefer creativity over logic.

8. Interested in Me

Despite being last, this is extremely important! Without this, none of the other things matter. It's just like every other crush I've ever had. Nothing different. Nothing special. While I've been able to find guys who exhibit the first seven qualities, the eighth has been much harder to come by. I've never been in a relationship, so I imagine it will be really wonderful when I eventually find someone who reciprocates my feelings.


Some people may think my standards are too high, but I refuse to lower them. I believe that God has someone out there for me who lives up to these standards and even exceeds them. I just have to be patient and trust His timing.

OMG, check these out

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

The Friend You Like Romantically Doesn't Owe You Anything

The friend-zone can be escaped, but not in the way you might want
10252
views

We've all heard the story of the "friend-zone." Boy is in love with his best friend, she dates all the wrong guys and fails to notice how perfect he is, then eventually realizes how wrong she was and they live happily ever after.

I used to think that the friend-zone was a myth that lonely men created to feel better about themselves. But then I got friend-zoned myself.

Yes, it sucked, but the second I realized I had feelings for a friend (that I knew had no such feelings for me), I decided to suppress the feelings. When that wasn't enough, I cut them off for a bit, then, slowly, I felt OK. I could communicate with them without having unwanted romantic feelings pop up. I had escaped the friend-zone.

Having gone through that, I had more sympathy for someone I had to friend-zone a little while later. I had been friends with this guy for a few months. I didn't have many college friends yet and I was really lonely, so having his company really meant a lot at the time.

This caused me to not be able to see what should have been clear: he had a crush on me. When I finally made the realization, I immediately let him know that I didn't feel that way about him. He said it was OK, but I could tell it wasn't.

We didn't talk at all over the summer and when we came back for the fall semester, he would barely look at me. I had started dating his friend, which caused an even bigger rift between us.

Though I understand where he's coming from, I was also really mad at him for a long time.

It was as if he was only nice to me because he wanted romance in return. But people are not vending machines. You can't put in your "nice guy" coins and expect love, sex, or whatever the hell it is you want in return.

It hurt me to know that he only wanted romance and once that was off the table, he no longer wanted anything to do with me.

But then I thought back to the friend that had friend-zoned me. Unrequited affections really suck, especially when they're for someone that you spend a lot of time with. But the key is to work to escape it.

Yes, liking someone you're friends with and them not liking you back is a real thing, but people tend to treat the friend-zone like this mythic hell dimension that can never be escaped. But you can escape. Just maybe not in the way you'd like to.

Now there are three ways you can escape the friend-zone:

The first option is to confess your feelings and try to win them over. Now, this isn't completely unheard of. I've had friends that have dated people who had previously friend-zoned them, but it's extremely rare and risky. You have to risk your entire friendship in order to do this. If it doesn't work out, it could strain the friendship or sometimes break it beyond repair.

You can also do what my ex-friend did and completely cut the person off. If you're being a love-zombie and only doing nice things for the friend because you expect romance in return, leaving the situation might be the most healthy decision for you. I understand now that my friend might have stopped talking to me out of self-preservation. But it still hurts the people involved.

The third and final option is to just get over it. It's harsh, but it's real. Why try something you know is going to fail and cause pain to both sides? Yes, getting over crushes can be really difficult, but getting a normal friendship back rather than being stuck a love-zombie for them is worth the pain.

Whichever one you choose, just remember this: Your friends do not owe you any romantic affection. The work you put into making them happy should just come out of the goodness of your own heart. If you expect romance in return, you're not being a good friend to them. If you really care about them, don't put that kind of pressure on them. They don't want a mindless love-zombie that does their bidding for the hope that they'll get a tiny love kernel out of it. They just want a friend.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

OMG, check these out

Facebook Comments