Dedicate Your Summer To Bettering Yourself For Yourself, Not Your Ex

Dedicate Your Summer To Bettering Yourself For Yourself, Not Your Ex

Why waste energy on an ex who doesn't care about you anymore?

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I'm single for the summer (yet again, no shock there) but this summer there's something in the air that just feels different. It's the feeling of true acceptance of my single status.

Last summer I was single when I really didn't want to be. My heart with still holding out for a guy who wasn't interested in anything more than my friendship. It took me from late March all the way until Halloween to get over those feelings. However, while working through those tough feelings that summer, I came to enjoy my time on my own and not talking to anyone except my best friends. I didn't have to worry about when I'd get a text back, or if I'd be left on read, or who he'd be out with since I wasn't around. The only thing I needed to worry about was my paychecks and tan lines.

Sometimes after breaking things off with someone who you put so much effort into, whether it was a boyfriend, an almost relationship, or even a friend with benefits, it's easy to want to show off on social media and make them regret ever hurting you or ending things. Why? It's a nice little ego boost, sure, but after those few seconds of glee from the fact that you know they've seen and maybe even liked your picture or your tweet, or saw your story on Snapchat, do you still feel happy? No, you go right back to feeling like crap, whether you want to admit it or not. Stop making yourself all about them when that ship has sailed and start being all about you.

Your ex is off doing their own thing, maybe thinking about you, but obviously not enough to want you back in their life the way you used to be. They are probably out there finding a new person to take your spot because they don't have you at their beck and call anymore. If they're also showing off to show you how much better they are without you or to make you jealous...why are you still following them or still participating in this sick little game for attention? Grow up and block them so you don't have to keep seeing their posts, or be adult enough to stop if you're doing the same as well. If it's only you posting, chances are you just look stupid, so stop before you really embarrass yourself. I was that person, and I know first hand how embarrassed I am for acting the way I did.

Summer is synonymous for doing whatever the hell you want. Wear what you want, say what you want, and be the best version of yourself that only a high dose of Vitamin D can bring out. Your ex is an ex for many reasons. You have to set aside the summer for you and what benefits you only. Don't concern yourself with an ex who doesn't care in the least about you anymore. Coming from someone who posted thirst traps aimed at a specific person along with countless shady AF stories on Snap and Insta in the hopes that this one person and their friends would see it, just stop and save yourself the energy as well as regret.

We're all adults, it's time to stop the petty posts and photos. Post your thirst trap for yourself because you're a sexy queen who doesn't need anyone but herself. Once you start focusing on yourself this summer, instead of your ex, you'll realize just have great it feels to truly be free.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

5 Questions To Ask Yourself When You're On The Fence With A Guy

Is he worth it?

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Whether you're contemplating if you want to continue your fling with a guy or contemplating breaking up with your boyfriend, there are always questions we're asking ourselves. Ranging from "is this right of me?" to "is this what will make me happy?" But if you are really sitting on the fence and don't know what to do next, check out these five questions you need to ask yourself if you're torn on what to do.

1. Do I want long term or short term?

This is a huge question to ask. If you're looking to settle down for a while, your guy may not want that. And it could always be the other way around as well. Make sure to decipher this with him so you both know what you want and no one gets a broken heart.

2. Can I see myself marrying this person?

I know this is a bold question to ask, especially if you're not dating. But really thinking about if you can see yourself with them for a long time can make it or break it. But say you're dating and you're on the fence of deciding you want to break up with them or not, think about if you can see yourself saying "I do" to them, and if you can't, let him go.

3. Can I see myself living with them/how do they live?

I've seen many people get engaged and move in together and later call it quits due to the way their partner lived. If you've been getting to know your guy for a while now and notices he lives like a pig, you may have to wonder if you'd be cleaning up those messes in the future.

4. How do they make me feel?

This question in a no brainer. If they make you feel bad, why even question continuing into the relationship.

5. Are they worth it?

Is he worth it? I know I have had some experiences when I was on the fence with a couple of guys and I've had to ask myself the same question. And when I'd question if he was worth it or not, my gut feeling always came out right. If you're looking to keep him around, always ask yourself if he's worth it.

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Stop Saying Your Friend 'Chose' Her Boyfriend Over You, The Pity Party Is Over

Your inability to be happy for others is getting old.

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First, let me start by saying that SOMETIMES this is what happens and you do get booted. However, most of the time when that happens your friend is in an unhealthy relationship and is being cut off from friends and family. If that is the case, you should get over yourself and be more concerned about your friends' safety and health than if you got “chosen" or not. If your friend has an awesome boyfriend and still outright disregards you and your feelings and chooses her boyfriend over you, then she was not your friend in the first place.

Now that that's cleared up, let's talk about how we as people should be kind and supportive and genuinely happy for those we claim to love.

So your friend that you do everything with got a boyfriend, things are going to change.

It's part of growing up. Your friendship dynamic is going to change. Instead of spending all weekend from Friday night to Sunday night together binge-watching Netflix and eating junk food you might only get a Saturday lunch and movie, a mani/pedi sometime during the week, or a late night hour-long phone call. Don't be bitter, don't try and make your friend feel guilty or even try to cut your friend out of your life just because you're not getting the attention that you want. Your friend cherishes your friendship and the guilt trip can make her feel so terrible about the fact she loves a boy and wants to spend time with him.

When you guilt your friend for spending time with her boyfriend, you become the one who chooses someone else over the friendship. You choose your own personal selfishness over the happiness of your friend.

You break your friend's heart when you give them this guilt trip.

She thought you wanted her to be happy, but now she feels miserable. She wants to be there for you but your angry, selfish bitterness is pushing her away, and the sad part is she feels it's her fault. Don't make your friend feel this way.

Your friend still wants to be your friend, she just now has someone she loves differently than she's ever loved someone before.

This person, her boyfriend, holds an extremely special part of her heart and has the potential to be her forever person, her future husband. Give them the space and peace of mind, knowing that you're supporting her through it all, to discover this!

The truth is, your friend wants to choose you both but you're the one who is not allowing her to do that. Examine your actions and thoughts and how you're treating your friend before you exclaim she was the one who ended the friendship.

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